11: Day One
Emma sat brooding in Granny's for a long time after Jennifer left. She took breath after breath and tried not to throw the napkin holder across the room because the situation felt proportionally more urgent with each minute that drifted by. Three days was nothing, it was irrelevant, and no amount of intelligent conversation, Emma was starting to realize, was going to make a dent in Jennifer's disbelief. It hadn't for her, after all. It took a cataclysmic event for Emma to believe, and she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to produce one for Jennifer in time.
That is if she would even be open to the possibility. Jenny made her so fucking mad sometimes. She supposed that's what sisters do, but if only she could get it through her thick skull that there are things out there besides science and that doesn't make them invalid...
She stopped short. The thought sent a cold shiver down her spine. Was this how Henry had felt when Regina made him think that he was crazy, when Henry caught her confessing to Regina that she thought him crazy too? It was awful. She was frustrated and alone and irrationally angry as hell. Should she have been more patient with Jenny? Could she have been? Well, it had taken Emma a year to believe, and she expected Jenny to believe in one fucking afternoon.
. . .
Jennifer had lashed out at Emma in fear and worry and bewildered shock and stubborn disbelief. But now she was numb. She didn't understand how Emma could believe something as silly and childish as magic. She didn't understand, but as a doctor and a loved one she wanted to so badly.
She walked for what felt like hours replaying the conversation over and over again in her head. It wasn't until she came to a noiseless park with a pond and benches and walking trails that the buzzing in her head subsided, and she began to think clearly again.
First and foremost, she was a doctor. She believed in the physical and the tangible and the testable. Magic was a bedtime story. It was fake. As a woman of science there were just some things that Jennifer couldn't believe in. Fate and miracles, for example~two big tropes in fairytales. Other people and coincidences create lives, and unsung heroes make miracles, not the "universe" or magic or anything else.
But Emma seemed to believe it and believe it wholeheartedly. Thirteen years ago she was just a kid with hopes and dreams. She was lonely and broken but she was Emma. And that was good enough for Jennifer, for a little girl who just needed someone. Emma was quirky and uniquely witty. She didn't like bullies, and, however misguided sometimes, she had a good head on her shoulders. So what had happened in thirteen years to change the rational Emma she knew into one who believes in, of all things, magic?
She flopped down on a nearby park bench and rubbed her forehead tiredly. She supposed she saw some of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves in Mary Margaret and David, but they certainly weren't fairytale characters. And Regina. Sure, she was a very...defensive...person, but she couldn't imagine her as the Evil Queen. Regina. Emma told her to talk with her. Emma told her that anyone in this god forsaken town would tell her the same thing she had.
. . .
"Why won't you tell me her real name?" Cora asked as Gold poured her a cup of tea. He glanced up at her, feigning curiosity. "Your assistant." Cora clarified.
"Why won't you tell me who told you to come here?" Gold retorted, deflecting rather than asking how she knew that wasn't Regina's actual name.
"I think you already know the answer to that, Rumple. It's your future. Foreknowledge is dangerous."
"Then you know why I can't tell you her name." He responded. She glared at him, frustration flaring in her eyes, but didn't say anything. She supposed she deserved it. But this entire town was a complete mystery to Cora. She was allowed to be curious. Why weren't they all in the Enchanted Forest? What was this place? And where were she and her daughter Regina in all of this?
That was when Mara walked in. She looked indignant as she flipped her hair behind her ear. "Has Miss Swan told her yet?" Gold asked, not even a hint of urgency to his voice, only vague curiosity. Cora leaned up against a counter and watched Mara carefully.
"I believe so. I haven't talked to the sheriff since last night, but she was supposed to tell her this afternoon." She stuffed her hands into her pockets. "Considering I haven't heard anything, I'm guessing it didn't go well."
"Perhaps you should talk to her." Gold suggested. Cora looked at him, her eyes widening slightly. This Mara was far more than a simple assistant; that was for sure if he was entrusting her with an important task like this.
"Me? What do I, of all people, have to do with Jennifer Alexander?" Gold sighed at her scoffing tone. Regina laughed through the silence, looking from Cora to Gold with a confused shake of her head.
"Must you be so dense...Mara?" Rumple drawled, clearly in the know about something that she wasn't. Regina's brow quirked downward.
"Excuse me?"
But he refused to say another word on the subject, instead sighing as though he was actually frustrated by her ignorance. Or perhaps blindness.
. . .
It was drizzling. There were specks of rain in Jennifer's hair and on her jacket and stuck on her eyelashes. She smoothed down her frizzy hair and ran her fingers through the wet curls. With her legs crossed and her face to the sky she felt alone. She felt confused.
I think you should talk to Regina. That's what Emma said. Maybe that's not such a bad idea. Maybe she could take that drink she was promised early.
Jennifer knocked on Regina's office door that evening just before dinner. It was a hesitant sort of knock, and her heart was pounding like nothing else, and she didn't quite know why. She could hear papers rustling behind the door. "Come in." Regina announced. Jennifer took a breath, turned the handle, stepped inside, and gently closed the door behind her.
Her office was all black and white and prim and proper and tight and tidy just like Regina. Jennifer meandered toward Regina's desk, toward the woman sitting behind it. Her hair was matted down with rain. She was a mess compared to Regina's black pant suit and thick, dark lipstick. "Miss Alexander." Regina drawled, a hint of disgust in her voice, her lip curling. "You're very...wet."
"It's raining." Jennifer breathed. Regina nodded slowly, raking her eyes over Jennifer's wet clothes.
"Is there something you need?"
"I was wondering if I could, um, cash in on that drink you promised." Regina raised her brow at that. She let her pen drop to her desk and gently intertwined her fingers.
"Okay." She drawled and then threw up her hands. "Where would you like to go?" Jennifer sighed heavily, running a hand over flattened hair.
"I don't know." She offered helplessly. Seeing the critical, almost skeptical look Regina was giving her, she blushed. "Somewhere I don't have to think about Emma, I guess. Today's been really damn strange."
Regina furrowed her brow. "Strange?"
"Yeah." She breathed, a sort of amused exhaustion in her tone. "Emma wanted me to ask you about…" she trailed off and shook her head, resting her hand on the back of one of Regina's chairs. "It's ridiculous. Insane. I mean, she called me to Granny's for lunch, but we never even got around to eating anything because…"
"Because?"
"It's stupid. This is stupid. I don't even know why I came." She laughed breathlessly, embarrassed that she'd~though subconsciously~indulged Emma's fantasy for so long already. After all, one of the only reasons she'd come here tonight was because she couldn't get what Emma said out of her mind. Regina frowned and shifted in her seat.
"Sit." She requested with this formal but patient expectancy. "Tell me."
And so Jennifer did.
"She kept trying to convince me that everyone in Storybrooke is a fairy tale character from a book she showed me." Regina's eyes flickered to the way Jennifer was rubbing her fingers, the way she shifted in her seat. Concerned for Emma, conflicted maybe. "Did you know about Emma's fairytale thing?" Jennifer's gaze finally met hers.
"I did." She affirmed.
"When did it start?"
"For someone who proclaims to be leaving Storybrooke in a few days, you're very concerned with Sheriff Swan's wellbeing." Regina commented, leaning forward.
"Of course I am! Emma was one of the most level headed people I knew back in foster care. Besides, I still care about her. Granted I've only done two rotations in the psych department so far, but this behavior is characteristic of some kind of...psychosis." She burst helplessly.
"I can assure you that Miss Swan is not psychotic." Regina chuckled. "As for when it started, it was about a year ago." She was so calm and informative about this that Jennifer got the sinking feeling she was hiding something. So she leaned back in her chair.
"Don't tell me you believe in all of this nonsense, too?"
"I only believe in the truth, Miss Alexander." Regina replied simply.
"Which is?"
Regina sighed and brought her gaze to Jennifer's. She saw the confusion in Jennifer's eyes and almost felt sorry for her. She didn't ask to be dragged into all of this. She wasn't from the Enchanted Forest. Pure coincidence was what had brought her here. Part of Regina wanted to, she couldn't believe she was even considering this, but part of her wanted to preserve Jennifer's innocence. At least on the subject of magic. Storybrooke was complicated and messy, and it was a rabbit hole that's admittedly far too easy to fall into. But Regina had to save Storybrooke and that meant telling this Other Swan everything. "What your sister told you is true." She finally rushed, her hands clasped together primly on the desk that separated them, the muscles in her jaw twitching.
"As a doctor~as a sane human being~do you honestly expect me to believe that you're the Evil Queen from Snow White?" Jennifer demanded, feeling angry and betrayed.
"No." Regina admitted with a shake of her head. "It took the sheriff a year to believe." Jennifer raised her brow at Regina's honesty, her anger subsiding.
"So this didn't start with Emma?"
"God no." Regina scoffed. "Henry is the one who started it all, really." She reminisced. "He convinced Emma to believe, and Emma broke the curse. I didn't...well, I wasn't happy about it. But it was for the best." She flipped a loose piece of hair behind her ear.
"Are you telling me…"
"That I am who Emma says I am." She declared, clenching her jaw. "I am...the Evil Queen." She ground out, her eyes solid and blank. She seemed...disgusted with herself. Jennifer shook her head, almost violent in its brevity.
"No. No this is ridiculous. It isn't possible: princesses and magic and dragons? Even if all this is...true...why did Emma feel the need to tell me now? I mean, I'm leaving town in a few days. We haven't seen each other in thirteen years. That's nearly half of our lives. Why this? Why even bother?"
"Well," Regina sighed. "The situation is a bit...dire."
And, despite her hesitations, Jennifer listened as Regina explained the nature of Storybrooke and the protection spell and how to fix it. When she was finished, Jennifer felt like she'd just stumbled off a rollercoaster.
"You've gotta be fucking kidding me." Jennifer said when Regina closed her mouth and waited for a reaction.
"Why would I lie about this?" Regina asked, getting serious, almost annoyed, for a moment.
"That's exactly what Emma said."
"Well, what reason do we have for making up a story like that?" Regina protested, arms out. Jennifer groaned and rubbed her face with her hands.
"I don't know." She responded, frustrated, hands out, almost pleading. "It just can't be...real." She sighed and scrubbed her face and shook her head, her eyes red. "You know what, I don't want to talk about Emma anymore." Regina raised her brow. "You wanna get a drink?"
The question surprised her, it was so abrupt and out of the blue. She stared at Miss Alexander for a moment before answering. What a strange person. "I do, actually." Regina admitted, and it was the truth. She hadn't gone to a bar in years, long before Henry was born. She couldn't stand how everyone despised her now.
Regina drove because Jennifer had walked. It was nearing eight o'clock, and they were stuck at a stoplight. Street lights shone off the wet road and the twinkling of everything silhouetted Jennifer's hair. She was glancing out the window, up at the stars. The clouds had cleared quickly after the rain and had left a crisp, wet Storybrooke in its wake. Regina breathed it in as a chill gust from the open window made goosebumps rise on her skin.
Of course she was terrified that Jennifer wouldn't believe by the end of the three days. Of course she was worried by her denial. Of course it was on her mind. But right now she was going to a bar with a woman silhouetted by the stars.
And it was when Jennifer held the door for Regina that she realized that she had started to separate Jennifer from her sister. In her mind she'd often referred to Jennifer simply as The Other Swan or, more formally, Miss Alexander out loud. But, of the two sisters' many differences, right now Regina was admiring the doctor's refreshing ability to consciously set her troubles aside for an evening unlike their brooding Sheriff. Regina traced the floating smile on Jennifer's cheeks with her eyes and quietly confirmed that Miss Alexander was most certainly not Emma Swan.
She'd made them one person in her mind because it seemed easier to be objective about the protection spell that way. It seemed easier to be able to kick her out of town once this was all over. Now it was~she watched Jennifer sit down on a bar stool~well, it was far too late for that.
Jennifer was a nice person, that's what she learned while talking with her. She was polite and quite the optimist and quite the smiler. She had a nice smile. A sweet smile. Most of the time Regina just sipped her drink and listened to Jennifer talk about this or that. Sometimes she threw in her two cents or asked a question or just listened intently because Jennifer was easy to listen to.
"You know, when I was little, before my parents died, my mom used to read me bedtime stories in French so I'd dream of hot summer days on the Seine. That's what she said, anyway."
"Did you know what she was saying?"
"I learned. Besides, I didn't really have a choice. My mom, she was a French teacher, and my great-grandparents were first generation from France. She loved the language so much I guess she wanted everyone to learn it too." Jennifer chuckled. "And I loved those stories so much I used to write my own in French. I used to write them in foster care too because there I was the one saving the princesses and fighting the dragons." She chuckled to herself. "I titled the journal Le Conte de J.I. Alexander." Then Jennifer swallowed and glanced down into her drink. "That's why it's just...hard for me to process this whole fairy tale thing because it was escapism for me. I knew it wasn't real. I know it isn't real. I grew out of it. For Emma to still...and you I mean...I don't mean to offend it just...worries me."
Regina let go of her glass and nodded, watching solemnly as Jennifer's emotions in her office bubbled back to the surface. "To have to believe in something you've been told isn't real all your life would be hard for anyone."
Jennifer searched Regina's eyes. "Yeah," she agreed, her thumb tracing the rim of her glass absentmindedly. Regina's gaze caught her movements. There were so many questions she wanted to ask.
"Can you still speak French?"
"Oh, oui, je peux. Je parle français chaque fois que je peux." Jennifer smiled. "I speak it whenever I can." She clarified, seeing Regina's pleasant confusion. "Though I don't have much of an opportunity anymore. I spent a year abroad in college. Studied everything in French. It was one of the best experiences of my student career." She smiled again. That dimpled, freckled smile of hers.
"How is being a doctor? You're a…"
"Surgeon." Jennifer nodded. "I'm still a resident, but it is one of the most rewarding things I've ever done. Terrifying and frustrating a lot of the time but it's so worth it when you get to see people smile." Then she shook her head. "But I'm getting tired of hearing myself talk." She chuckled.
Regina sat up a little straighter, feeling rather put on the spot. "Oh." But, for the life of her, she couldn't think of anything to say. Jennifer must have sensed her discomfort because she tapped the top of Regina's hand and shifted in her seat, effectively calming her down.
"Here, we'll start with an easy one. What's your favorite color? Wait don't tell me." She paused, studying Regina who just raised her brow. "Purple." She declared confidently.
"Red." Regina admitted with a smirk.
"Red! Damn that was my second guess too." And Jennifer wrinkled her nose and grinned.
