A/N: This Chapter is a very, very (and did I say VERY?) strong M!

John stood and hastily finished his glass of wine. He listened intently as the enterer opened and closed the door, then closed the few steps to the table and dropped keys into the bowl. It was Joss and she was alone. John breathed a sigh of relief. He paused, listening further for her footsteps which had curiously stopped.

Joss had leaned on the table, her eyes cast downward. She lifted a hand to her mouth and she stifled a yawn. "John…", she spoke his name in the softest of whispers. She had almost escaped him, was almost free of him, but this evening changed everything. The feelings welled up again, the good ones and the pain, but mostly the pain. It was almost like ripping bandages off of mortal wounds. To make matters worse, this turmoil caused her to lie to Sebastian about work and now she had to cover her tracks by going in. She shook her head in disapproval of her behavior.

After a minute or two, her movement resumed but in the direction away from John. His long strides took him around the half wall in time to see Joss's retreating back from which he stood a respectful distance, if there was such a thing given that he was in her home uninvited.

"I was right", John stated boldly. Joss swiftly turned and stepped toward the table (under which she had taped a Glock). Seeing that the intruder was John, she stopped cold and stared at him in disbelief as well as taking in his half-dressed appearance. "That lavender color – it's magnificent on you…I was right… you look stunning, Joss", he stated, approaching her as slowly and carefully and openly as he would approach a frightened deer that he was trying to rescue.

What was he doing here half-dressed? How long had he even been here? Joss wondered. The nerve of him, the nerve, after all this time. But as much as she wanted to, she couldn't put him out. It was as if she were riveted in place, and at the same time, observing this scenario playing out between them.

Joss continued to stare and John continued to approach until he was inches away from her. Neither spoke a word. "Joss", John eventually whispered, his blue eyes open and clear in spite of the wine. "Jossie…please." He lowered his face to hers slowly, hoping she wouldn't stop him.

…She didn't.

As soon as his lips touched hers, heat and electricity shot through him. He leaned back, wanting more, needing more, wanting to see if she did as well. For her part, Joss reluctantly tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled him roughly back to her mouth as he slightly turned the two of them, backed her to the door and pressed his body hard against her.

"Joss", he whispered again, his hands at her shoulders, at her neck, their tongues searching, clashing. Drunk with passion, John pulled away again, eyeing Joss lustfully, watching her breasts breathlessly heaving as an indicator of her desire for him. John toyed with the fabric at the top of her gown . "You wore this for him", he said, just before he fisted the chiffon drape and body suit with both hands and with Herculean strength ripped them in two so quickly that Joss had no time to react.

As the pieces of the garment fell to the floor, John fastened his mouth to Joss's breast, sucking deeply, using one hand to knead the soft flesh at the same time. He had one arm around her waist holding her arched torso against him, while her head and shoulders rested on the wall. Joss began to writhe and twist against him and John kept sucking and kneading until Joss's mouth opened, and she loudly keened her release. John freed her captive breast from his mouth with a final lick and nip and he leaned back again, gripping Joss at the waist with both hands, his lips at her ear.

"Do you come when Almeida sucks your breast?", he questioned, looking into her eyes.

In response, Joss pushed at him so fiercely that he lost his balance and stumbled back a few steps. In that nanosecond she slapped him across the face – hard. Her eyes flashing, Joss angrily kicked out of her gown and she turned to stomp away from him. But John grabbed her arm and pulled her back into his embrace, where he held her tightly while she struggled against him, incensed.

Angry thoughts assailed her as she struggled. Fucking bastard, damned hypocrite is what he is. Wants to know what I do after everything he's been up to with Zoe. How could he?

"Joss…I'm sorry…I'm sorry, honey…so sorry. I didn't mean to question you like that." But they both knew he did.

John had Joss in a gentle but effective bear hug, and began to press smoldering kisses to her neck, up to her ear, her cheek, eye, tip of her nose, across her forehead, down to her other cheek, ear. By the time he found her mouth again Joss was returning his kisses with equal ardor, her hands now free and clutching and scratching at his flesh – bared during his insanity as he waited for Joss's arrival earlier. "Jossie…."

They were wildly bumping and writhing against each in heat. Somehow John pulled down his pants and boxer briefs just enough to free his throbbing cock and balls. He bent his knees, lifted Joss's leg and guided himself inside her. Both groaned at the contact – it had been so long…

John rested his forehead against hers and Joss clung to his neck, the brownstone quiet except for the sounds of flesh hitting flesh and the panting and moaning of two people who were enjoying the feelings the other was eliciting.

Wanting to be deeper, John forced himself to stop pumping and lowered Joss's leg. This time he backed himself up pulling her with him, and when his butt touched the table, he spun them around and bent Joss face down over its edge. Keeping one hand low on the small of Joss's back, he jerked off his pants and shirt so that he too was completely naked. He kicked the pile of clothing out of his way, planted his feet apart, gave his cock a few tugs and placed it at Joss's opening, using his hips to drive it home. Again inside her, John threw his head back, closed his eyes tight against the exquisite sensations and resumed thrusting into her, setting a moderate pace yet going deep at every thrust. Joss groaned, spreading her legs wider and pooching up her bottom higher so John had better access.

John was lost in her, she felt so good to him. He was good to her too – at least he tried desperately to be. Joss had said that she hated him, but in these moments she didn't. He knew she didn't. He gripped her hips, guiding her sensuous movements, her butt cradled at his groin as he continued to thrust and grind.

And it didn't take long before Joss had her second release. She screamed, her body twisted and thrashed but John continued to hold her hips tight to him while he continued thrusting deep and hard. He slowed his movements, spanked her butt cheek as she continued to writhe and tremble, groaning. John pressed wet kisses across her back and savored the taste of the sweat he encountered there. He spanked her other butt cheek then gently pulled her up until her back was pressed against him, Joss's face turned toward his shoulder.

"Shhh", he whispered, "shhh", as she continued to whimper. "It's Ok…it's alright. I feel it too… I feel it too." John craned his neck as far as he could toward her mouth and found it was just enough for several wet passionate kisses. His right hand lightly stroked her belly and abdomen, gentling her, as he nibbled and licked at her ear.

Still inside her and still rock hard, John finally loosened his grip, bent at the waist and scooped Joss up into his arms. He walked them out of the vestibule area and carried her up to her bedroom, where he deposited her on the edge of the bed and pulled the duvet covers from under her. John scooped her up again then gently laid her down in the center. He positioned her legs apart and crawled between them. John rested lightly on his forearms pressing all his weight on her. His manhood entered her easily – no hands required. At this moment, John looked deep into Joss's eyes, wanting her to know that he remembered how she loved the feel of him totally on her, totally in her, like this. As he watched her, he began to thrust again, using the power of his hips, lower back and knees to drive them both to orgasm this time.

John hadn't come yet and he desperately wanted to hang on – it felt so good.

"Joss", John moaned. He touched her face, her hair. " Baby…so good…I missed you…I have… ummmm…."

He lightly bit her lip, whispering unintelligibly. Still thrusting and grinding, John could feel Joss's swollen clit rubbing against the base of his cock and he pushed in balls deep. They both grunted in response. He shifted his weight to alternating knees causing him to dig into her more deeply. Her feet were planted on the mattress and she used her legs and hips to push back against him and circle twist when he was deepest inside. John cried out she felt so good.

"Joss…I'm coming…please…I'm coming."

Joss herself, could hold out no longer and she arched her body, spasming even as John continued to thrust. As soon as he felt her body jerking beneath him, John's release shot forth.

"Ah, ah, ah, ahhh, ugh…." John raised himself to his haunches, his head twisting from side to side, body convulsing at the sheer pleasure and force of his orgasm. He collapsed on Joss, totally supporting his weight on his forearms this time, aftershocks wracking his body as his breath hitched. He never broke eye contact with Joss during these most intimate of moments, recalling that she once told him she could see his soul when they were like this. And he desperately wanted her to see his soul and her imprint upon it.

Once the aftershocks and spasms ceased, John gave Joss a small smile and kissed her wet forehead before whispering "I still love you Joss. I never stopped." He nodded his head several times to accentuate his point. "We'll start again, OK?" He pressed more kisses to her face. "Just you and me sweetheart…" John raised her hand and kissed her fingertips. "Just us – no one else, OK? It'll be different…better…you'll see. I'll be better…I'll make it better – I love you."

He gave Joss a deep kiss and smoothed the wet hair away from her beautiful face before he moved off her and cuddled her into his arms. They lay together quietly until the familiar chill of cooling flesh over took them. John stood, covered Joss with the duvet and padded to the bathroom.

Once there, he relieved himself, flushed and walked the few steps to the vanity. John examined himself in the mirror and saw that he was still flushed from his lovemaking. He observed a few scratches on his chest where Joss had gripped him. He touched the small lines and winced at the sting, loving that she had done this to him. John turned on the faucet, splashed water on his face and neck, and grabbed a face cloth from the linen shelf. He wet it and cleaned himself. Now finished, he grabbed a fresh cloth, wet it, turned off the faucet and went back to the bedroom.

John saw her as soon as he crossed the threshold. She was lying on her back, eyes closed, tranquil, face like an angel. God help him, he wanted her again, but decided he would let her rest a bit. He gently sat on the edge of the bed, his leg crooked so that he was almost facing her. John touched the cloth to her face and as he did, she wriggled a bit away from him. John smiled, leaned over farther and touched her face again.

But this time she turned her back to him completely, moving all the way over to the other side of the bed. Before he could inquire she said, "You'd better get going. With any luck you can get back before Zoe realizes how long you've been gone."

John couldn't believe his ears. "Wait - what?"

Clearly still angry, Joss faced John and repeated, "You'd better get back to Zoe before she figures out how long you've been gone."

John sighed and hanged his head confused.

"I don't understand. Didn't you hear me? Didn't you get what I was saying to you?", he asked.

Joss turned her back to him again, thinking, I heard you – just don't believe you, is all. Liar. Cheater.

John could feel the animosity rolling off her in waves, but he continued.

"Joss, look at me. I love you, crave you – I never stopped, not even for a second. I was wrong to hurt you the way I did and I am so deeply sorry. I want you so much in my life, need you. There's never been a day that I haven't wanted you.

"Oh really?", she asked, turning to face him. "Not even two days after you left me when I saw you with your tongue down Zoe's throat and in public no less. You wanted me then?"

"I called you that night", he reminded her.

"Yeah you did, after you slept with Zoe but tried to act like you didn't."

"Joss…"

"Or how about Christmas in the Bahamas? New meaning to Sex on the Beach ring a bell? She could not disguise the hurt in her voice. The one place I told you that I really wanted to go. How could you? These words left unsaid.

How does she know about that? John wondered. "It's not what you think, let me explain."

"Or even before the gala, when you two were going at it so hard you almost didn't make it?'

John furrowed his brows. "I didn't – "

Joss puffed. "It doesn't matter…it really doesn't. Just please, get your clothes and go."

Now slightly heated himself, john demanded, "Well then what do you call what we did just now, Joss? Hmmm? You loved me back! I didn't imagine that. What do you call it?", wating her to admit to caring even just a little.

Joss quickly responded, "A proper goodbye."

"I don't accept that", John stated firmly.

Joss began loudly fluffing and rustling the covers and plumping the pillows to make herself more comfortable, sitting up to do so, baring breasts that jostled with her exertions.

"Just leave, John. I 'm tired and I have work this morning. I need sleep."

"You're lying", he immediately retorted. "You just don't want to talk about this. Let's get it all-"

"I'm not lying", she replied. 'If I didn't have work, I would still be with Sebastian", this last spoken with venom.

John hanged his head in defeat at her last statement. Joss had lain back down, burrowed under the duvet and turned her back to him again.

"I still don't accept this Joss. It isn't over. I am not giving you up', John insisted.

Joss huffed again, loudly this time, before simply stating, "Yeah, well...you already have."

John stood, walking slowly to Joss's bedroom door, looking over his shoulder at Joss every few steps, hoping, praying she would call out to him and that they could begin to put all this anger and distrust behind them.

John descended the stairs equally slowly, and began gathering and putting on his clothes, his ears still attuned to the upstairs. He swore to himself that if he heard so much as a whimper he would rush back upstairs, drag her beneath him and keep her there until she begged him never to leave her again.

Upstairs, Joss had her hands clasped firmly at her mouth to keep from crying out for John, the pain in her heart threatening to undo her. Joss told herself that she had cried enough over him, let alone giving him the satisfaction of hearing her. But in these moments, tears ran like rain down her face. She took big gulping breaths, praying to hang on until he left.

A haphazardly dressed John stood at the front door still listening for a sign. When none came he opened the front door. Spying the remnants of Joss's torn gown, John picked them up and left the brownstone, closing the door behind him.

Damn, damn, damn, he thought as he hailed an Uber. Destination, asked the ap? And he gave an address 2 blocks from the Library.

A/N: I hope you are enjoying this prequel to not Just Another Day and remember to review. Hugs!