"So, you need training to resist telepathic attacks?" Raven asked, breaking the awkward silence.

"Unless Aquaman is going to hire me as his personal assassin and offer me diplomatic immunity, I think it's my best option," Xander replied.

"I can't see him doing that," Beast Boy said clearly a little freaked out.

"Hence the training," Xander replied.

"Are you a dark arts practitioner?" Raven demanded. "Because I sense a lot of dark energy clinging to you."

"Never cast a spell in my life," Xander said honestly. "Been affected a couple of times because of someone else casting spells, had spells cast on me directly by others, but never cast a spell in my life."

"I can sense you believe that, but I have met demons that have cleaner auras," Raven said with a shudder.

Xander shrugged. "Not my job to convince you."

An alarm sounded and red lights started flashing.

The titans all pulled out octagon-shaped devices that looked a lot like the hand-held communicator the turtles used in TMNT. Xander briefly wondered who decided on the design, and if they were a TMNT fan.

"Hive is up to their usual tricks!" Robin exclaimed. "Titans, Go!" Robin paused and turned to Xander. "Don't go anywhere!" he commanded before sprinting off, followed by most of the others.

"Bathroom's across the hall, remote's probably under the sofa, and avoid the meat in the fridge if you're allergic to tofu. We should be back in a couple of hours," Cyborg quickly rattled off before sprinting away, leaving Xander standing alone in the Titan's living room as the alarms shut off with a click.

"Could have gone better, could have gone worse," Xander said to himself before turning and searching under the couch for the remote.

The enormous, wide-screen TV behind him turned itself on; revealing an overweight teen with pimples and huge side-burns. "Greetings, Titans! It is I, Control Freak," he called out.

Xander spun around, but relaxed on seeing the teen, who wouldn't look out of place hanging out with Andrew and Jonathan. "They're not here, and I don't expect them back for a couple of hours," Xander told him, taking off his jacket and tossing it on the couch.

"But I had everything planned!" Control Freak whined as he stepped out of the TV and then froze as he looked at Xander's shirt. "Why is your shirt covered in blood?"

"Relax, it's not mine," Xander said.

"That doesn't make it better," Control Freak complained nervously. "Are-are the Titans OK?"

"The Titans are fine," Xander assured him. "They went to deal with something called Hive."

"And the blood?" Control Freak asked again nervously, fingering his remote.

"Some guy called Black Manta bled all over it," Xander explained.

"Um...," the young man swallowed heavily. He'd seen the news reports on that but had expected the man inside the armor to be a lot bigger.

"Relax," Xander told him. "Unless you've done something to make Aquaman want you dead, the odds of him ordering me to kill you are just about zero."

"OK," Control Freak said, looking relieved. "Aquaman ordered you to murder someone?" he asked curiously.

"Black Manta had declared war on Atlantis a couple of times, and Aquaman is their king, so technically it was a military action rather than a murder," Xander replied as he looked under the sofa. "Where is the remote?"

"Look under the cushions," Control Freak told him. "Remotes like to nest in sofas."

Xander started flipping over sofa cushions, finding: several dollars in small change, a pair of green underwear, a pizza in its box-smashed and moldy, and the remote. "Got it," Xander said, piling everything on the table.

"Are those Starfire's or Raven's?" Control Freak asked, staring at the panties with hearts in his eyes before shaking his head and looking embarrassed. "Sorry, that was way too creepy, wasn't it?"

"I've seen worse, and at least it's superhero panties and not just some run of the mill ones," Xander offered.

"Plus, I had to cross through two animes and a hentai cartoon to get here," Control Freak said, feeling a bit better.

"How does that work?" Xander asked, curiously.

"You want to know how I do my thing?" he asked, surprised.

"Who wouldn't?" Xander replied, thinking about the kind of vacation he could plan if he were able to step in one TV and out another, thousands of miles away.

"You are like the first person to ask me," Control Freak said.

"You're kidding," Xander replied wondering why no one would clearly ask about something that useful.

"Seriously," the villain replied. "No one has ever asked."

"Well, I'm asking," Xander said. "I mean, can you travel the world in an instant, put yourself in the main role of your favorite movie, or pull things out?"

"All of that and more," Control Freak said, happy that someone was interested in what he did.

0oo0o0o0o0o0

The Titans returned, looking a bit battered but in a good mood.

"Dude, did you see the way I mule-kicked Mammoth?" Beast Boy asked proudly. "Boom, right into the water!"

"It was a glorious battle!" Starfire enthused.

"Is that pizza?" Cyborg asked, sniffing the air.

"I thought I told you not to leave this room!" Robin growled out.

"I found the remote in the sofa, along with a bunch of change and a pair of green underwear," Xander replied, ignoring Robin.

"You found my Speedo?" Beast Boy asked hopefully, while the rest of the Titans shuddered.

"And traded it for a dozen pizzas and a pair of fingerless gloves," Xander said, waving a gloved hand at the stack of pizza boxes.

"Works for me," Beast Boy said, rushing over to grab a box.

"Who delivers pizza to Titan's Island for a Speedo, and in several different boxes?" Robin questioned as he scanned the boxes and saw that some of them weren't even in English.

"Some guy called Control Freak," Xander replied. "He saw my blood-stained shirt and was worried I'd done something to you guys, but once I explained he calmed right down and helped me find the remote."

"Probably wanted a souvenir," Cyborg said while grabbing a box for himself.

"And he just happened to have a dozen pizzas on hand?" Robin asked suspiciously.

"Nah, I borrowed his remote and pulled them out of some pizza commercials," Xander explained. "Had to flip around a bit, but you guys got all the channels."

"Dude, don't we have some of his remotes?" Beast Boy asked Cyborg excitedly.

"They don't work for normal people-we tested them," Robin reminded him, grabbing a slice of pizza. "They probably only worked for Xander because Control Freak was with him."

"Back to introductions," Cyborg ordered. "Tell us about yourself," he told Xander with a friendly smile.

"Not much to tell," Xander said with a shrug.

"Your mention of magic and possessions say otherwise," Raven noted dryly.

"And the swim thing," Beast Boy mumbled through a mouthful of pizza.

"Yeah, but I tell you, you tell Batman, and he has one fewer ulcers," Xander pointed out.

"But Batman is of the good," Starfire said confused. "Why would you wish him ulcers?"

Xander winced. "Please don't use the w-i-s-h word around me, and Batman has been a dick to me, so I have no intentions of making his life easier."

Robin frowned, but looked thoughtful rather than angry.

"So, what can you share about your past?" Cyborg asked.

"Just graduated from high school and I wanted to see something more than my hometown. Didn't get very far before running into Aquaman," Xander replied.

"Any hobbies?" Beast Boy asked.

"Never really had time," Xander admitted. "Even the whole swim team incident was because we were investigating what was killing the members of the swim team."

"Did you spend a lot of time investigating crimes?" Robin asked curiously.

"Mainly missing persons and homicides," Xander replied. "Sunnydale may be a small town, but it has big city aspirations. It's kinda like someone distilled Gotham and gave it a suburban make-over."

"That sounds... disturbing," Raven admitted.

"Yeah, and the police make the Gotham PD look honest," Xander added.

"Why hasn't the place imploded already?" Beast Boy demanded.

"Because hell is exothermic," Xander replied cheerfully.

Raven snickered, causing the Teen Titans to stare at her. She blushed and said, "What? It was funny!"

Typing by: Ordieth

AN: I wondered why I couldn't find part 2!