Chapter 16
Time, Saguru thought, was passing too quickly. The end of June brought Kuroba's birthday, two more dates with Hiroto, and a doubling of Saguru's workload as summer vacation loomed closer. The work alone could have been excuse enough to remain sequestered until the semester ended, but between Kuroba's visits, Hiroto's texts, and Mum's phone calls, Saguru found himself more socially active than previous months rather than less. It was almost pleasant, actually. It felt a lot like how the end of a semester usually felt. It could have dragged him back into negative memories, but he was too busy to dwell on his grief or regrets. On his more optimistic days, Saguru felt cautiously happy.
The cynic in him pointed out that of course that meant things would go spectacularly wrong.
Kid's Longtime Rival, Abandoned the Chase?
The public is well aware of the chase that has spanned two Nakamori generations and Kudo Shinichi's battle to capture Kaitou Kid. For those Kid aficionados who have followed Kid's career from the start, they might remember that before Kudo Shinichi and before Nakamori Aoko took the flag in chasing our Magician in the Moonlight, there was another young detective out to catch Kid. Hakuba Saguru, British detective and son of previous Police Commissioner Hakuba, spent almost three years of Kid's early career (post hiatus) chasing Kid. In that span of time, Hakuba Saguru came closer than any other detective to catching Kid until Nakamori Aoko's efforts four years ago. To quote past descriptions of Hakuba's methods, Hakuba seemed 'to know Kid's mind, reading ten steps ahead' and 'wholly in tune with Kid's methodology.' These descriptions might sound familiar to how Kudo Shinichi has been described in recent years. Interestingly, Hakuba Saguru, much like Kudo, was also a teenage detective when he first entered the scene against Kid.
But despite having once cuffed Kid and forming the suspect profile the police still work off of, Hakuba Saguru vanished after graduating high school, leaving Kid to Japan's police and detectives. Why? Theories could cite Hakuba's severe knee injury shortly after graduation due to criminal backlash in a high profile case, or perhaps the detective's choice to pursue higher education in London rather than Japan. Regardless of the long absence from Japan, it remains curious to learn that Hakuba Saguru has been in Japan for almost four months with no attempt to renew his chase against Kaitou Kid.
As Kid nears his 200th heist since his resurgence in crime, a spree spanning over a decade and a half, the public must ask what Hakuba Saguru has been doing in these months. As newer rivals fail to pressure Kid, perhaps it is time for an old rival to return. The great mind that once sent Kid on the defensive is needed once more, perhaps to end Kid's flaunting of the law once and for all.
Saguru stared at the newspaper on his desk with a dull feeling of horror. It wasn't the only article. Two pages later was an article calling out detectives for their failure to catch Kid for so many years. Somehow his name was in that too, and under much more laser focus than Kudo or Aoko despite both Nakamori having chased Kid far longer than Saguru, and Kudo having only attended Kid heists sporadically in the last decade. Another examined the suspect profile Saguru had constructed, noting what little had been added to it since Saguru had left despite the years since then. It ended on an accusing note that maneuvered toward Saguru returning to the Kid task force. On the front page was a long article of Kid's career. Saguru's involvement in catching Kid took up a whole paragraph, longer than Kudo's contributions.
Technically the one article was a callout to all the detectives Kid had ever faced, not just Saguru. Saguru could see the logic in it—the drama. Kid had a long career and news about him was almost routine at this point. What better way to add shock and interest back into things than by calling all of Kid's rivals back together? It wasn't possible for Jirokichi—he had died a few years ago—and Nakamori senior was retired with health issues preventing him from returning. Kudo was always a favorite in the news, but he too was routine. Who better than Saguru, a seemingly long lost rival making a triumphant return, to add drama to the mix?
A callout didn't mean anything; Saguru wasn't required to respond to it. What bothered him was that he was in the public eye after years of trying not to be. He'd deliberately kept his public involvement in cases to a minimum, especially after he got married. And now someone was digging through his past and showing it to the world.
He set the paper down with shaking hands. It wasn't really about him, it was about the papers wanting to sell a story. He knew that. Still. He knew that there would be some backlash to this. Public pressure. Other news companies jumping on the opportunity to play up a rivalry that hadn't mattered in over a decade just because it made a good story.
The question was how they even knew Saguru was back in Japan. Aoko wouldn't have mentioned it. Kuroba definitely wouldn't. Saguru couldn't see Shizume Erika mentioning it either; she had never been the type to talk about her students or former students too much. But then there were Saguru's students and many of them could have learned about his past detective work to some extent through the grapevine. Hell, a particularly devoted Kid fan might be in one of his classes. Could one of them have said something?
It was ridiculous to worry about it. It could have been as simple as someone recognizing him on the streets. That wasn't outside the realm of possibility even if it had been years since he was famous.
But Saguru couldn't afford to think about this now. He had class to teach. Saguru put the paper aside.
Saguru finished outlining adverb-verb interaction on the board and turned to face his third class of the day. "Examples of this are—yes Tomoda-san?" he said, motioning for the girl in the back row who had been watching him write with a lot more attention that she usually gave to this class. Her hand was raised well above her head, unwavering.
"Hakuba-sensei, were you really a detective at one point?"
The question was one he'd been expecting since the article this morning, but that didn't make him any happier to hear it. Saguru gripped the chalk almost hard enough to break it. "Tomoda-san, my life is not open to questions," he said with a level, calm voice. "Now if anyone has any questions on the actual—"
"But were you?"Fujikata in the second row asked.
The entire class turned expectant eyes on him, including certain students that often dozed off by this point in the class period. He mentally cursed the newspaper that had run the articles. Clearly the rumor mill had been spreading in the last few hours.
"I was. But my previous occupation is not important to this English lesson." He turned back to the board and continued on with the class as planned. It didn't stop the whispers or yet another student asking more at the end of class. Saguru didn't give them any more information than before, hurrying out the door as soon as he could.
Lunch brought several stares from coworkers, mostly just curious. Of course, most of his coworkers already knew that he had been a detective; Shizume had been open about Saguru's past status as an Ekoda High School student and mentioned her memories of back then on more than one occasion. Now it was more than just one or two teachers remembering an old student. The media had gotten involved and as much as it bothered him, it was unsurprising that he would get a few stares. Kate at least talked to him like usual over her salad about her son and the upcoming vacation. Saguru was glad that these conversations tended to be mostly one sided because he could get away with being distracted by his thoughts.
The afternoon classes were full of staring eyes and the occasional hissed conversation. It was like he had become a spectacle all over again overnight. As he finished his desk work at the end of the day, he just wanted to get back to his apartment and hope that the press would be satisfied with what they'd dug up so far.
Unfortunately there was a reporter outside the school grounds when he left. He wasn't very good at stealthy escapes these days.
"Hakuba Saguru, yes?" the woman said. She was a bit short, under the 158 cm average, but felt much taller in the firm way she stood. The tall heels did give her a few extra centimeters, just enough that she could get into Saguru's face when she invaded his personal space. She continued speaking without giving him a chance to respond. "Your impressive case record proceeds you. Would you mind answering a few questions?"
Saguru took a step back if only to escape her cloud of vanilla-rose perfume. "I would mind very much," he said, stepping around her.
The refusal didn't faze her one bit as she followed alongside him. "You work at Ekoda High as an English teacher, correct? What brought you back to Japan after so many years?"
"No comment," Saguru grunted.
"Do you consider yourself retired from detective work then?"
"No comment," he repeated. If only he could sprint like he used to.
"Is there anything you will comment on?" the reporter said looking a bit irritated.
"I would appreciate being left alone."
She pursed her lips. "Do you plan to attend the Kid heist?"
Saguru grit his teeth and committed to pretending she didn't exist for the rest of the walk to the train station. The reporter asked questions the whole way there and likely would have followed him onto the train itself except that he managed to shove his way into a compartment too crowded for her to follow. When the doors closed behind him, he slumped against them for that extra bit of breathing space the action gave him.
Lovely. They'd found he was in Japan, they'd found his work, and Saguru could assume that it wouldn't take very long for interested parties to find his apartment as well. Or perhaps they would try his family home first; it wouldn't be surprising if the media thought he was living from home rather than renting out a postage stamp apartment.
Saguru wasn't even surprised when he got back to his apartment and found Mum there. She knew, at least, how little he enjoyed the spotlight these days. She was waiting in a car, driving it herself for once, her hair pulled up in a messy tail high on her head. She got out of the car as he approached.
"Your father saw the paper," Mum said, pulling Saguru into a hug. It was a lot harder to feel stressed with his mother hugging him. If he closed his eyes he could be back in London, Mum hugging him for any number of other reasons. "There was a reporter that tried to get through the gate too. I thought I should come and check on you."
"There was a reporter outside of the school as well," Saguru sighed. He pressed his face into her shoulder for a moment and released some of his tension.
"That's unfortunate. Maybe talk to the administration? It's bound to be distracting to students as well." Mum patted his back. "Your father and I will handle anyone that tries to trespass on our property. Misdirect them a bit and make them think you're living there for as long as they'll buy it."
Depending on what got leaked, that could be a short period of time.
"Are you alright?" Mum asked, holding him at arm's length to study his face.
"Fine," Saguru said, even managing a small smile. "Irritated by the breech in privacy and being called out because they want a better story, but they can't force me into anything." At least he hoped they couldn't. It was surprising and annoying and tiring more than anything. "Hopefully it will end with that."
Mum pursed her lips, not quite sure whether to take him at his word or not by the look on her face. "If you need to get away, you can come to the house. Or better yet, go on vacation. It's almost that time anyway."
"I can't leave during the end of semester exams," Saguru said. "I'm not going to avoid my job because of a bit of press." He stepped away and nodded to the apartment. "Care to come in?"
Mum shook her head. "I can't stay long. I have an appointment to get to, but I wanted to check in on you just in case."
"Thank you." It was funny how no matter how old he got, getting a hug from his Mum helped. Some things you didn't outgrow it seemed.
She pulled him close again and held him for a moment. "Don't hesitate to call if you need us. We're both retired; it's not like we have anything much going on that can't be put off for another time."
He knew that. He also knew that he still wouldn't call unless it was a last resort, and from Mum's heavy sigh, she also knew that.
"Go. Rest. Talk to the school and then see what your neighbor's doing. I'm sure that would be a good pick me up," Mum said.
"Kuroba won't be back for hours."
"Then that gives you time for tea and clearing your head." She gave him a tight squeeze and pushed him in the direction of the stairs. "I'll call you sometime tomorrow."
"Yes, Mum."
"Don't use that tone," Mum said, but she said it with a smile and Saguru had to smile back. "Love you," she said as she got back into the car.
Saguru all but collapsed into his desk chair when he got inside, the bright red numbers of the desk clock saying it was only a little after five rather than much later as it felt. The vague notion that he should start dinner or perhaps get that cup of tea crossed his mind, but his phone went off in his pocket before he could do much more than consider it.
The number was one he hadn't heard from in months. Saguru picked up the phone warily. "Hello?" he said, slipping back into English habits.
"Saguru, good, you picked up," Millard Colquhoun's thick Scottish accent greeted his ears. Considering that Saguru had ignored the last three times he called, Millard had every right to be surprised that he had. It was a bit more surprising to get a call at all as Saguru thought he'd burned all his bridges with Millard after his fallout with the London police.
"Millard," Saguru said, tone questioning. "It has been a while."
"Too long. I thought to give you some space…" Millard cleared his throat. "But I'm not calling to talk about how we left things." His voice dropped down, serious and low like when he used to go over crime scenes with Saguru. "Had some calls come in recently. People asking around about you. I don't know what you're caught up in now, or how you ended up in Japan again, but I figured you should know. Most of us at the station wouldn't spill your life. I know I still count you as a friend. You were one of us for years. Still, there's some bad blood floating around with how you left. I can't vouch for everyone keeping tight lipped."
"What sort of questions were they asking?" Saguru asked feeling tired.
"About your detective work and personality, some. But they were fishing for what would've driven you to leave London for Japan."
A breath heaved from him. Of course they were. And Saguru had made enemies when he lashed out after Mel's death, breaking protocols and stepping on toes trying to learn anything he could to solve the case and getting nowhere. "Thanks for calling. I appreciate not being blindsided by that."
"What're friends for?" Millard said in a wry way that implied he hoped he was still considered as such. "…how've you been?"
"Better than I was," Saguru said honestly. "Japan is…better."
"Good to hear." It sounded like he meant it too.
Saguru debated whether or not to ask before deciding that he needed to know more than he needed to keep from reopening the issues between them. "I…I have to ask…the case…"
"Nothing new," Millard said, voice gentle. Of course he expected the question. Of course. Saguru hunched into the chair. "It's officially a cold case. I'm sorry."
"I understand." No leads so of course it would become a cold case. It had been more than a year. For a second the futility from months ago rose up, almost as harshly stinging as it had been fresh, but he left it drain back out as fast as it had come. He was half a world away. Ripping himself apart over it hadn't worked the first time. He wouldn't keep doing it. Sometimes, no matter how much you wanted something, no matter how much you tried and threw yourself at it, a case wasn't solvable. It didn't make it any less bitter. "Thank you."
"I'll keep my eyes and ears open," his old friend said. There wasn't any faith in him that it would do much good. "Keep safe in Japan, Saguru. Don't be a stranger."
"…Same, Millard. Have a good day." Saguru hung up the call. He didn't want to think about the possible press stories that could come out of digging into his life in London. He didn't want to think about the past either. Still, he felt…glad? Touched? Something complicated and positive at any rate, that Millard had thought to call. There was some guilt in there too since Saguru knew it was his own fault for ruining most of the relationships he'd spent years building in his depressed spiral a year ago. He slumped back into the chair and closed his eyes.
For a little bit, he tried not to feel or think at all.
Saguru never did talk to Kuroba that night; whatever Kuroba had going on, he didn't get back while Saguru was awake, and by the time Saguru had left for work he was already gone. There were no reporters waiting at the school entrance that morning at least, be it from lack of interest or because of Saguru's phone call to the school the night before, he didn't know.
That morning's paper brought an article on him as well, thankfully nowhere as large as the ones the day before. Its caption read "Detective Retired? Hakuba Saguru Returns to Japan to Teach English." It must have been written by the woman who showed up the day before because it noted that he declined to comment when asked about his current career.
He balled up the paper and went into teaching class with the intention of ignoring the continued stares. He didn't owe anyone a reaction or explanation.
The classes passed with less incident today, but with no less intense scrutiny. When he left for the day, he had three messages on his phone; one from Mum checking in, one from Kuroba early in the day commenting on the paper, and one from Hiroto from a little over an hour ago that Saguru almost didn't check. He assumed it was one of Hiroto's usual lighthearted comments or a random photo and he hadn't been in the mood to dredge up a response. Instead, it was a request to call him.
Saguru looked at his phone wondering what that could be about. It was too blunt of a message to be anything but serious.
He called while he was waiting for the train. The call rang several times before Hiroto picked up.
"This is Saguru," Saguru said.
"Saguru…" Hiroto sounded tired, and maybe like he had been sick or crying, a roughness to his voice that it usually didn't have.
"Is something wrong?"
"I'm so sorry."
"Excuse me?"
Saguru corrected his previous hypothesis to crying as Hiroto sniffed on the other end of the line. "I'm sorry. I saw the paper. It's all my fault."
"What?"
"The articles. It's. They're written by a friend. I didn't realize…" Hiroto's voice choked up. "I just showed her your picture. She recognized you. Said she used to be a fan. I didn't think she would ever write something like…"
"Oh." That explained how he had been recognized. He felt detached, clinical in observations even as Hiroto continued to be distraught. He hadn't realized Hiroto had any pictures, but that wasn't something to be upset over. It was not Hiroto's fault that his friend had written an article on Saguru or that she had recognized him. She must have been the woman at the school gate yesterday. The names on the articles matched up. Of all the ways the article could have come about, he would admit that he hadn't expected it to come from Hiroto's part in his life.
"I'm sorry," Hiroto repeated. "And—" His words were cut off with the rush of the train's arrival.
"What?"
"I'm sorry for pushing about dating you. I didn't realize…"
Saguru didn't hear anything else he said, reaching a whole different level of numbness. He heard himself say as if from far away, that he had to go. The call cut off with Hiroto still speaking as Saguru did a news search relating to himself. Two new online articles came up, one from a gossip magazine with the title, "Kid Affair—Hakuba Saguru and Kaitou Kid, Forbidden Love?" The other was titled "Tragic Truth, the Real Reason for British Detective's Return." Well. Millard had warned him.
He didn't have to read the second article to know that Mel would be mentioned. As for the first… He almost wanted to laugh because he couldn't say he never had interest in Kuroba or Kid, but it was hardly the scandalous doomed love affair the article no doubt painted the picture of.
He could practically see the next article title "Retired Detective Outed; Loses Job in Scandal." Did they want him to attend the heist or were they trying to ruin his public reputation in its entirety? Japan was not kind toward those open about their sexuality. It was better than in years past, but it was still something that was, culturally, considered private. And Saguru wouldn't deny it if he was asked because he wasn't going to dismiss having spent years married to Mel now that it was in the open.
The train was about to leave. Saguru got on at last moment, still numb.
There was a real chance that he could be in trouble at work over this. He didn't think that he would be fired, but talked to? That would most likely happen. Would the gossip article call into question his qualifications in chasing Kid? If so, would that mean that attending a heist would be detrimental? Or would attending a heist and being seen helping to catch Kid be the only way to counteract that social stigma? It seemed that the papers were intending to corner him by public opinion, give him no option but to attend a heist. He could see possible future articles that could print in the next week and a half to try and push him further.
His phone buzzed, and then kept buzzing, text messages accumulating throughout the train ride. He saw that they were from Hiroto and ignored them. It would be more apologies and Saguru wasn't in the right mindset to handle that right now. By the time he reached the apartment, the numbness was fading away and anger was taking its place. Not at Hiroto—though it would be too easy to let it bleed over even if he knew that it was just bad luck. Association did that. But Saguru had more than enough to turn his anger on when it came to the media and the reporter that started this.
He banged his door open and Kuroba, who—of course—was sitting at Saguru's desk, almost tipped the chair over in alarm.
"What the hell," Kuroba said, eyes wide. He gripped the edge of Saguru's desk, chair balanced precariously.
"I'm contemplating how likely it is to win a lawsuit for invasion of privacy," Saguru said, glowering. "I'm afraid I'm not up to date on Japanese laws on public disclosure of private facts. Technically I can't call libel because nothing written is actually false."
"Uh." Kuroba kept staring. Saguru tossed his phone toward him. Kuroba caught it and unlocked the screen. "What am I supposed to look at?"
"Articles in the web browser."
"Ah." There were a few seconds of silence, then a second, more meaningful, "Ah."
"Now do Japanese courts even recognize invasion of privacy in lawsuits? Because I know that seems to vary depending on where I am at any given place."
"Uh. I know that laws on data protection keep getting strengthened and protection from third party information transfers. Haven't had any reason to look into someone having their life story thrown to the media." Kuroba set the phone aside. "I'm not going to ask if you're okay, because you're not. Talk to me."
"I am frustrated," Saguru said, "because I am not sure how publically outing me works in the favor of forcing me into their little reunion that the press is pushing for with your upcoming heist. I'm angry because personal sensitive information has just been made public—things I am still not comfortable thinking about most days let alone talking about. I am upset because there is a very real chance that this could affect my professional life. I was open about my sexuality in London, but Japan is not the UK, and here I don't have the same built up reputation and support that I once had." Saguru found himself pacing, cane thumping hard against the floor as he walked. "I am finally getting comfortable here and damn if I am going to uproot again. I might not have ever intended to go into teaching English, but I would prefer to keep my job."
"Your parents have good lawyers right?"
"Yes."
"Call them."
Saguru laughed, cold and sharp. "Oh, I intend to."
When he passed by Kuroba again, Kuroba caught his free hand. "Hakuba." Kuroba frowned. "Don't let them get to you. Don't confirm anything. It's almost summer break, and if you need to, once it gets here just go somewhere private until it all blows over. The heist is just one night. The papers will move on."
"I know," Saguru said, sighing. "I know." He allowed himself a moment of weakness, gripping Kuroba's hand in return. "I suppose I'm out of practice being in the spotlight," he said ruefully. "And it was never quite so personal."
"I get that."
Kid's face forever being splashed across the front pages wasn't quite the same level of personal in Saguru's opinion. But then again, perhaps Kuroba did understand. Saguru didn't know how deeply Kuroba did or did not take any of the things published about his alter ego.
"So," Kuroba said, drawing the word out. "Apparently you had a passionate affair with Kaitou Kid years ago and the guilt from that eventually sent you back to London. Why wasn't I aware of this?"
"Very funny," Saguru said. He snatched his phone back. "At least no one is likely to take that article too seriously. It's from a gossip rag."
"Hakuba, people will take shit and run with it regardless of the source."
Point. There had been a rumor that Kid was gay at one point all because of Aoko's comment at a heist in high school. For an offhanded remark, it had been a resilient rumor.
Kuroba leaned back in the chair like he'd been doing when Saguru arrived. "I came over because I heard a reporter ambushed you at work, but this all sounds a lot worse than just some reporter looking for a statement or some hype over the heist."
"The reporter that wrote up the first article was apparently a fan of mine," Saguru said. "I'm not sure if she's disillusioned or if she's decided to force me out of retirement, but there's likely some personal motive in the mix beyond wanting a good story. She was a friend of Hiroto's apparently."
"Well. That's awkward."
Saguru's lips twitched, amused despite himself at the understatement. "Quite." The bubbling anger was draining away, leaving familiar exhaustion in its place. He pulled away from Kuroba and sat at the kitchen table Mum had finally cajoled him into buying. "I need to call Mum, grade papers, and then brace myself for tomorrow's fallout." He paused. "And eat I suppose."
"Good luck." Kuroba stretched. "I'll be busy, but if you need to talk more, I can always multitask."
Saguru had half a dozen ideas on what sort of things Kuroba would be busy with a week and a half away from a major heist. Most of them didn't seem like the sort of thing that should be interrupted if Kuroba wanted to get through his heist unscathed. "May your prep work go smoothly. And please, don't tell me what you plan on doing."
Kuroba smirked. "Even if I did, you wouldn't be able to figure out how it was going to be used."
"Shoo. Go do your illicit activities that I know nothing about."
Kuroba snorted and waved a hand.
Saguru realized he was smiling. How Kuroba consistently managed to turn his mood around these days… He was a good friend. Then he remembered that Kuroba had been there before he even got home. "Was there anything you needed, Kuroba?"
"Hmm?" Kuroba said. "Oh, not really. It's just nice to come home to someone sometimes, right?"
He was gone before Saguru could be entirely sure if that was the whole truth or not.
Saguru was not hearing most of the words coming from the vice principal's mouth. He had tuned out the comments once it was clear that they were both homophobic and xenophobic in their own way. It was a shame to the school's reputation to have a teacher on staff with such a bad history. So unfortunate for someone with family in such good social standing to have this happen. Clearly it was the Western influence. It was funny how Saguru was apparently Japanese enough for his public outing of his sexuality to be considered shameful considering all any of the papers and people in his day to day life seemed to put emphasis on the British half of his heritage. Never Japanese enough, but not foreign enough either for it to be dismissed as one more way that Westerners were different and to be looked down on from the supposedly superior position of the true Japanese everyman. Not that anyone ever would admit to this mentality. They probably wouldn't have said a word if Saguru's sexuality hadn't been scattered across headlines though.
"We need employees of good moral character," the vice principal was saying, or something along those lines. From the way morality and community obligation were being brought up, it was clear where this was leading.
There were two board members, the principal, and the vice principal in the room. Of the four of them, Saguru was convinced that the vice principal, and perhaps one board member, had sold out to the press. There wasn't anything concrete to these suspicions. Perhaps the expensive watch on the board member's wrist was too new—but no, not new enough because there was a scratch on the face of it, faint but visible when it reflected light. Or maybe it was the way he was side-eyed. Or the not very subtle lead in to duties to the community.
"Had my work as a teacher been unsatisfactory?" Saguru cut in, derailing the speech entirely.
The vice principal floundered. "Excuse me?"
Most people, Saguru suspected, wouldn't interrupt a supposed superior during a dressing down. Saguru didn't have the patience for this. "You're upset that I am not what I appeared to be. Fine. Has my job performance been poor? Or is your only compunction my supposed moral character?"
"Your teaching ability," one of the board members said, "was never in question. It is the example you are giving to impressionable young minds that is the current issue."
Saguru marked him down as the next most likely to be in the press's pocket. "And let me guess, in order to prove my moral standing, I will have to make an effort to show that I support school approved institutes." He clenched his hand on his cane until his knuckles were white.
The remaining board member shifted like he would rather be anywhere but that room.
"You have to understand," the vice principal said. "As both a teacher and an alumni of this school, you are representative of it and your actions reflect back on us. If you do not make an effort to improve by the start of the next semester, I am afraid that you will not be employed here any longer."
Another issue for Mum's lawyer to look into, Saguru thought bitterly. And some research on the legality of this would be happening in the near future. Play the good detective and all of this would vanish. Bastards. It couldn't be that good of a news story. Did they expect him to miraculously get married to a woman in the interim as well?
"Do you understand, Hakuba-san?"
Four pairs of eyes stared him down. Saguru pressed his lips together to keep from biting out words he'd regret. He took a breath and let it out slowly. "I understand," he said.
"We hope to see your efforts in improving your character, Hakuba-san. It would be a pity to lose a passable teacher due to something so avoidable."
Passable. Saguru didn't bow as he was dismissed. Rude though it was, it would hardly dig him into any deeper a hole than he already was. And it satisfied the petty part of him that longed to say what he really felt.
He'd missed his morning homeroom duties and a good chunk of his first class. When he entered the room the conversations stopped. Eyes followed him to the front of the room.
Saguru steeled himself and faced the class. Two and a half dozen faces looked at him with anything from curiosity and confusion to distaste and ridicule. Takumi was one of the few who looked concerned. He took a second to meet Takumi's eyes in what was hopefully a reassuring manner. "I apologize for my lateness. Let's make up for the time missed. If you would please turn in your texts to page fifty-seven?"
He'd faced murderers and armed men in the past. A school board and classrooms of students were not going to send him running.
There were several more articles after the school board gave their ultimatum, none of them as impacting or blunt as the former ones. If anything, his avoidance of any attempt at questioning seemed to irritate the reporter if her latest article was anything to go by. One Time Detective Fails to Respond. And the lack of comment was being turned into an attack now. Without any other new weapon, it wasn't really a surprise.
The whole thing was frustrating and tiring, and what Saguru was turning up in his free moments of legal researching didn't seem very promising, if only because everything that had been written about him was technically true. (Though he had some hope in the fact that it could be argued that the facts written were not actually all that newsworthy and written with the intent of defamation of his character, but he was leaving the details of that to the lawyer.)
If he agreed to attend the heist in four days, then he had the feeling that the majority of the commentary floating around would vanish. He'd keep his job and, while it would take a while for the reactions to die down, eventually life would go on without any lasting damage.
The only problem with that was that Saguru still had no desire to do so. The stubborn part of him wanted to dig his heels in, consequences be damned, because he hated being manipulated into anything, especially by underhanded means. Also, he had promised both Aoko and Kuroba that he wouldn't be part of heists anymore. He didn't want to go back on those promises.
Even with summer vacation two days away there was only so much work he could bury himself in in search of distraction from the issue.
He sat at his apartment desk, trying to read, but really listening to the summer rainstorm outside and the soft sound of voices next door where Takumi was visiting Kaito on one side and faint Jpop coming from the other neighbor. Saguru wasn't much further than the third chapter of the newest literature club novel when Aoko came to pick Takumi up. Unlike the last time, it was civil, and it was a relief not to hear irritated voices or shouting.
When a knock came on his door a few minutes later, Saguru gave up on his novel. "Come in."
"Hakuba." Kuroba looked exhausted though he was hiding it. Dark smudges under his eyes from too many nights without enough sleep and the slight crease in his brow that reminded Saguru of the rare times that he had experienced tension headaches. These details were offset by a relaxed posture and a familiar smile.
"You look like you need to sleep for a week," Saguru said.
Kuroba snorted. "Right back at you. Have you slept much in the last week?"
A few days plagued by nightmares early in the week right after the article that mentioned Mel and what nights he hadn't had nightmares, his thoughts had been racing trying to decide the best course of action. "I've slept."
"That makes one of us I guess."
"How is Aoko?"
"Fine. Stressed. But who isn't with such a big heist around the corner?" Kuroba settled into one of Saguru's chairs like a cat; seemingly boneless but with that underlying predatory tension that said he could be up and away again in the blink of an eye. "I'm stressed, she's stressed, you're stressed…"
"Let's just skip the whole occasion," Saguru quipped.
"If only." Kuroba rested his chin on his arms, in the chair back to front so he could support his torso against the back rest of the chair. "But no, I have too many awesome things planned; can't cancel now. Think of how many fans I'd disappoint."
His light tone sank between them. Saguru couldn't pull himself into meeting it at the moment.
"Have you decided on what you're going to do?" Kuroba asked when it became clear that Saguru wasn't going to respond.
"There's no good situation," Saguru sighed. "I go somewhere and avoid the heist, I will likely be fired. I never thought I'd be teaching English in Japan, and I don't know how long I want to be teaching here, but I do know I don't want to stop at the moment. And if I do go to the heist, there is no guarantee that things turn out for the better." He glanced out the window at the gray dreariness of the rain. Even the bits of greenery in view were drooping with the weight of water. "I hate to give in to outside pressure as well… It doesn't sit well with me." Saguru looked back at Kuroba. "I can't decide what to do."
Kuroba looked at Saguru for a long moment. The patter of rain against the window was the only sound filling the room between them as Kuroba held Saguru's eyes with a serious look. Saguru just felt tired. Tired and worn and frustrated because he had as close to happy as he'd been in a year before this whole mess started. "Just go," Kuroba said when the silence got too heavy. "You're not the only one being pressed into coming to the heist. Kudo and Hattori Heiji and several other detectives from over the years will be there. If they could, I'm sure they'd be tracking down all the other foreign detectives who'd gone against Kid as well."
"I said I wouldn't chase you anymore," Saguru said.
"And you don't have to." Kuroba rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms, and he must be just as, if not more tired than Saguru was with this whole mess. After all, Kuroba had to live through every single one of Kid's media frenzies. "Look," he sighed, "They want you to be there. But once you're there, no one can make you do anything. You're retired. Go to the heist, sit back, and give vague answers if you're asked questions. No big deal, right?"
No big deal. Saguru smiled wryly. It was a big deal or Kuroba wouldn't be here trying to keep Saguru from stressing himself too much. Kuroba shouldn't have to calm Saguru at all, especially not when he was probably just as stressed at the moment with all the effort that his double lives demanded from him.
"It's not worth tearing yourself apart about," Kuroba continued. "Go enjoy being just an observer for once."
"Thank you, Kuroba," Saguru said softly.
Kuroba waved his thanks away. "Don't. Just try to stop stressing okay? I've been feeling stressed just watching you. This way the media can stop pushing and you'll have everyone off your back."
"Not everyone," Saguru said thinking of Aoko. "I believe a certain task force inspector is going to be rather unhappy to see me."
"Tell her to add it up to one more thing to be angry at me for. It's not like Aoko has a shortage of those." Kuroba reached out a hand that hesitated a fraction of a second before patting Saguru on the shoulder. "Once this heist is over, the hype should die back for a bit, and they'll let you fade back to obscurity."
"They had better." Saguru glanced at the hand lingering on his shoulder. He'd never known Kuroba to hesitate in a physical action. Almost like he had started to do something else and changed his mind halfway.
Kuroba smiled and pulled his hand back. "So, now that that's settled, we're doing something fun as soon as summer break starts."
"That would be two days before your heist."
"I'll be plenty prepared," Kuroba said. "Besides, you'll need to unwind, and I know Takumi will need it as well after exams. We always do something fun the first day of break."
"If Takumi-kun doesn't mind me being there…" Saguru said dubiously.
"He doesn't," Kuroba said. "I already asked. Shiemi-chan and Yuuto-kun might join us though, if you're okay with that?"
"Of course." Saguru wouldn't tell Takumi that he couldn't bring his friends.
"Perfect."
Saguru couldn't help still feeling a bit uncertain. "Kuroba, you don't need to keep inviting me to do things that are—"
"Hakuba." Kuroba held up a hand, stopping his words. "I'm inviting you because I want to. Not because I am worried, not because I feel I should. I'm doing something fun and thought you might have fun doing it too." He raised an eyebrow. "What ever happened to all that confidence you had in high school? Back then you invited yourself along."
"Back then, I had never faced a setback before Kid." Why was it so hard to believe that Kuroba might actually want to spend time with him? It wasn't hard to believe that Kuroba would want to talk like they were doing now, or hard to believe that they were friends at this point. But it was a friendship that made sense, full of shared secrets and understanding that couldn't be found anywhere else. Kuroba hadn't liked Saguru's personality in high school, and back then Saguru had been frustrated by Kuroba, and somehow it didn't feel like that would change even if it already had.
"Well you might want to try tapping into whatever state of mind you had back then because I'm going to keep inviting you to things." Kuroba grinned. "And maybe you'll invite me to do something someday."
"Ah yes, that rare day when I actually decide I want to do something," Saguru said.
Kuroba laughed, like Saguru had hoped he would. "When you do, I'll look forward to it. Anyway, mark the day down. There will be no working on anything that day, just relaxation. Summer vacations are for fun and rest and we all need it."
"That sounds…wonderful, actually." If Saguru could keep his mind off his worries, that was.
"Yeah, I figured." Kuroba stretched and made a show of checking the time. "Well, I should probably go. Get what sleep I can."
"Goodnight, Kuroba." Thank you, Saguru didn't add. The gratitude was clear enough in his tone anyway.
Kuroba threw him a roguish grin and a quick wave. He let himself out much like he had let himself in earlier.
