Thursday, October 11th, 12:02 AM, Zuko's Bedchamber

Zuko was sitting on his bed, still astounded that Aang had figured them out. Of all the people around them, Aang put it together. Zuko felt that if Aang could manage it, the rest must have had suspicions. Whatever the case, Zuko still was in his bedchamber alone, bereft of his Soks. It seemed cruel to him. The whole thing seemed cold, but there was nothing to do about it. It was strange but he knew what that old quote meant.

"To be a king and wear a crown is a thing more glorious to them that see it than it is pleasant to them that bear it," he murmured to himself. He knew that was true. He was experiencing that terrible and inconvenient truth every moment of the day. He also knew that he would abdicate his throne in a second if it meant he could be with Sokka freely. He would give up the riches that came with the crown too. You can trust that he had seriously weighed the options several times, but his sense of duty won out in the end. He owed everything to his people. He would sacrifice love, for those who gave up their limbs, freedoms, and their very lives for the continuation of institution that made them give those thing up in the first place.

But it wasn't fair. It wasn't fucking fair.

It wasn't fair to Sokka. Zuko had felt guilty about many things in his life, many things. He knew that he had done some bad, criminal things when his mind was set on conquest. He had richly deserved some of the suffering that he received. He had caused so much agony himself. But he had not felt as guilty about all of that as he did now. He had been so selfish all his life. Now, he was doing it again. He was keeping Sokka to himself.

Sokka was, is, and will in Zuko's opinion forever be a virile, handsome, smart, industrious, loving, caring, compassionate, loyal, adventurous, funny, witty, versatile, sexy man. Those words were just the beginning of the list of adjectives for Sokka. And Zuko caged all that potential like a beautiful bird with colorful plumage and a sweet song. Zuko felt even more greedy for holding back Sokka's brains and talent. The Republic (or the United States as some were calling it) could use Sokka's mind and talent, let alone his own people in the Southern Water Tribe. But Zuko hoarded him.

He had disrobed and gotten into some pajamas. He was in bed alone, and he had not been in this state for some time. He felt lonely when he was without him, without Sokka. It looked around and felt to him like a piece of him was missing. His boyfriend was only a few rooms away, but he felt so separated. The silence in the room overwhelmed his senses. The silence deafened him, muted him, blinded him, and numbed him. Sokka might as well have been in Ba Sing Se for all he thought.

He had not been unshakable in his belief of a true presence of love in the past, but now was sure of its absence. He knew it would be temporary, but it was terrible. It would only be a few days, but it would a few days drowning in fire. Every second wanting him, was like an eternity building on top of perpetuity. He was a Fire Nation boy indeed, passionate and longing, yearning to be with his lover. It was not even sex he needed tonight, just intimacy. Fire Nation men were known around the the world as being affectionate with their lovers. Their only foil was that when their lover was elsewhere, they felt consumed in a bad way. Consumed and falling into a deep, dark black and ever-blackening hole.

He needed Sokka's presence. His warmth, his smile, his gentle scent like the ocean. Zuko needed to look into his eyes and get lost in those oceans of passion, those pools of warm feeling and love. Zuko wanted to be possessed in that most tender way, simply to be held in Sokka's arms, simply to be held tight. But he was lonely, alone in this big bedroom, as he sat alone on the throne.

Hashi had said only a few hours ago that he was 'more secure'.

That could not be further from the truth. Sure, outwardly, there was no more challenge to his legitimacy. But he felt the opposite of secure: diffident, mousy, exposed. Sokka was like his security blanket. All the world's problems went away when he was with Sokka. Or, at least, Sokka turned the lights on. The monstrous shadows became normal objects again. What was dangerous and horrifying became known and mundane. Sokka's wit and humor also smoothed Zuko's rough edges. Zuko's dark, cold and steely intensity could not stand up in the gentle light and warmth of Sokka's ever-affectionate disposition.

He didn't know why he felt his cheeks warming up or why he felt moisture running down his face. All he knew was that the feeling overwhelmed him. He felt sad beyond words, and it wasn't because of Azula. Fuck that bitch. He would have her cremated and the ashes scattered in the morning, no ceremony.

It was because Sokka wasn't with him. He didn't think that Sokka had this much sway over him, but the Water Tribesman apparently commanded his heart even from a distance. All those things he stated before were the introductory paragraphs, the opening statement as to why he loved Sokka. It was why he was falling deeper and deeper into that passion. He was more than besotted with Sokka, oh yes, it was more than infatuation now. He did not just get drunk on Sokka's companionship, oh no, Sokka was euphoria.

He wondered to himself what his lover was doing. He wiped his tears away, but he knew that only sleep would staunch the flow. Zuko lay down and put his head on the pillow as still more water escaped the corners of his eyes. He heard a crunching sound under his head. He lifted his head, then the pillow. And there was the great surprise.

A piece of paper folded and sealed. He lifted it up. ' Zuko' it said on the front.

Zuko broke the seal, opened the letter, and saw the writing. Definitely in Sokka's writing.

Dear lover,

Zuko swooned at those words. "Lover," he whispered to himself.

We may be a few rooms apart, but I feel as if I were in the South Pole. I feel cold without you beside me. I miss your smile. I miss your warmth beside me as we made passionate love. I write this with a heavy heart, being able to see and touch you, but not able to hold you and know you. Forgive the teardrops that stain this page, for I cry longing for you beside me. Every second bereft of my warmth, my fire, is like an eternity spent buried under the ice of the South Pole. Being left to my own thoughts curdles me. I need my Zuko back. But for now I must be content with thinking of you, imagining my Fire Lord. My imagination does me no justice. As long as I am away from you, I am discontent. Maybe you could indulge me a fantasy tonight, a reverie of intimacy. If I were with you, and you were by my side I think I would take some special liberties tonight.

"Special liberties?" Zuko asked himself, getting a bit hard, he pressed the letter to his chest. No one had ever written a love letter to him before. He looked at the paper and did see where a few drops had fallen "Where will that mind of his venture next?

Let me lie beside you and wrap my arms around you. Let me snuggle up to you and and hold you close to me. I need your warmth, for without you there is an icebox where my heart ought to be. Without you, I can't think of a meaningful reason for being. You are my sunshine, my moon, my stars.

It occurred to Zuko just then that Sokka had called him the moon. Yue had been forgotten. Sokka had fallen deep for him. But Zuko couldn't fathom why Sokka could love him.

These things I know. When I am able to go freely to your bedchamber next, or you come to mine I want to be close to you. We can save the lovemaking for the next night. But the first time I am able to lay knowing, weary eyes on you, I want them to look upon you body yearning to be closer.

Zuko stopped reading there. He had had enough. He was depressed about it. He felt so unworthy of all this. He looked to the telephone, the direct line to Sokka. He hesitated a bit, but after some consideration took the plunge. He grabbed the telephone and waited as it rang in Sokka's room. Zuko had not realized, but he had started crying again.

"Hello." Sokka answered, eagerly as he had been waiting. "Did you get my letter?"

"Sokka," Zuko ignored him. "Sokka," Zuko sniffled letting Sokka know that he was deeply upset, "Sokka, why do you love me?"

"Are you alright, Zuko?"

Zuko was sobbing openly now, the tears running down and dampening his shirt, "Just why, Sokka? I'm such a fucking mess. Every day I pad around this palace knowing, fearing that the people will see me for the scared teenager I am. What have I done that's good? What good have I added to the world? Why do you waste your time on me?!" Zuko yelled. Thank goodness the Fire Lord's bedchamber was soundproof.

"-" It was silence on the other end and then the distinct click.

Less than two seconds later. There was a frantic knocking at the door. Zuko didn't move. So, Sokka used his key and opened the door to the apartment. He closed and locked it behind him. Sokka walked through the darkened drawing room, and through the sitting room and reached the door to Zuko's bedchamber.

He knocked on that set of doors too. Zuko still did not move.

"Zuko open the door!"

Nothing.

"Open the door, Zuko!"

Silence.

"Zuko, open the door or so help me I'll kick it down." Sokka tried the key and realized that the key might work. It did and Sokka walked into the room.

"Zuko what's wrong?"

"Why do you love me?" Zuko asked sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I love you because you're you. And with you being you, I can be me. I don't have to be a soldier, or the chief's son. I don't have to put on my suit of armor and pretend to be Sokka the Braveheart. I can just be the gay, happy go lucky boy I really am with you." Sokka reiterated the question. "Why do I love you, Zuko? I love you because every second I spend with you, I feel complete. I feel at ease. I feel like I don't have to do or say anything to be happy. When I was in my room alone, I felt so lonely without you. When I even let myself think about you leaving me…"

"I would never leave you." Zuko said, "I never will."

"I know I love you because the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders with those words. I don't want to leave you, and I never want you to leave me."

Zuko had stopped crying by now, "How much do you love me, Sokka?"

"Count all the stars in the sky, Zuko. Measure the waters of the ocean with a teaspoon. Tell me how many heartbeats you've ever had. Tell me how much we want to make love to each other. Impossible, you say. And it's just as impossible for me to tell you how much I love you." Sokka said, walking to the bed. He walked to where Zuko was sitting, feet touching the floor. Sokka went over and knelt before Zuko. "I'd be a stammering mess if I tried to put into words how much I love you Zuko. Now tell me what's the matter." Sokka looked up into Zuko's eyes, worried that his boyfriend was so upset. "Why are you so upset?"

"I keep pretending as if this is all right. I keep you away from the world. I keep you caged like a bird. And I don't know why the caged bird sings."

"I sing because I'm happy." Sokka answered without missing a beat, "And I am not a caged bird, Zuko. I'm not your prisoner and you don't feel like my warden, I am here with you freely. Freely in love with you. I can't picture my life with you. I can't be happy without you."

"Don't leave me, Sokka." Zuko said, "Let's do what your note says, just be with me."

"Are you sure, Zuko?"

"Yes, I don't want you to be taken away from me ever again."

Sokka was in his pajamas, so there was nothing more for him to do. He slid into bed and wrapped his arms around Zuko. In that moment he realized just how vulnerable they both were. They knew there would be some blowback in the morning. Neither of them cared.