Sunday, October 14th, 1900, Zuko's Drawing Room, 9:55 PM
The others had left and gone about other business, leaving the lovers alone together. Aang had had a mind for some exercise, so he went out onto the Palace Green and practiced his tai chi, an art form that he had neglected since the end of the War. He had started alone, but several Palace workers who were on break joined him. By the time he was done, he hat a throng of about sixty people behind him, who continued the slow, but exhausting exercise. He then went back in and used one of those wall mounted showers for the first time. He enjoyed it. The next thing he wanted was to enjoy it with Katara, but that lewdness was beyond the point.
Katara had used the opportunity to seek out the tailor she wanted and stood in to be measured. Funnily enough, it turned out that she hated the entire process, having to stand still.
Toph went straight to the so-called 'Close Dining Room', an intimate space near to Fire Lord's Room and within the Regal Wing. It was a rather small room compared to the rest of the place, but it was roomy enough to seat five people very comfortably. This made no difference to her, but the room was lit by dim lamps. The dark shades of burgundy and maroon, let the flames dance around in an elegant darkness that piqued the senses. The gold trim on May of the surfaces reflected enough light for the room to be lit satisfactorily, but the atmosphere was nonetheless romantic. Zuko had not used the room only because he did not need rumors to start about him. If Zuko ever used the room, it would have to be alone, or with composed of more the two of them. One day, he hoped to use the room freely, but that day had not yet arrived. So he kept this room as a little secret he could use to woo the prince he sought so badly. Be assured that this was not the only secret.
Anyway, back to Toph: she used the room to sample the best cuisine that the Fire Nation has to offer. She left that little, but stylish room sure of a few things. First and foremost in her mind, Fire Nation food was delicious. Second, Zuko's chefs were better than the Earth King's. Third, she probably ate enough of that great food to make her gain five pounds. Lastly, and most urgently, she needed to go to bed and take a nap. She resolved to go back to her room and sleep off her food high. She followed through.
So, whether their friends and family meant to or not, the friends left the perfect opportunity for the boyfriends to talk. Sokka was sitting up on the edge of one of the sofas, and Zuko lie down on Sokka, cuddling him.
"That went a lot better than I had expected," Zuko started, "I thought that Katara would be a bit freaked out or surprised, but she…" Zuko trailed off.
"She wasn't." Sokka answered, "I don't know what it is with women, but they know. They just know. Somehow, deep down inside me, I get the feeling that Suki knew that there was something wrong. I think she may have realized I was drifting closer to you or at least that I sure as hell wasn't interested in him at all."
"When do you think it started?" Zuko asked.
"I think really… that night I asked you to help me get Suki back from the Boiling Rock. That is when this all started, I suppose. That night, through all the awkwardness and misunderstandings, we managed to establish the framework for what we have now. During the rescue efforts, we managed to put together a trust and friendship that sprouted, I guess. We weren't sensing it yet, but there was probably something there."
The Fire Lord paused and pondered before stating sheepishly, "Maybe Sokka… maybe. All I know is that while we were going to the Boiling Rock, I did ask myself why and how I could've hated you so much. I just thought back to when all I wanted to get the Avatar and would kill anyone who got in my way."
"Yes and I would have had no qualms in killing you, at the beginning at least. But that scares me, what I could've and would've done. Just to think that nine months later, I would be sitting here cuddling you makes me… I don't know how to feel. I guess that I'm glad that I'm cuddling you instead of killing you."
"A hundred years of pain and suffering and strife and hurt can't simply vanish. We can't just forget that the nineteenth century existed. I can't just get rid of all the turmoil inside me for the things my nation, my people, my family, and I personally have done to the world can't be undone. It can't simply be washed away because I'm the new Fire Lord. All I can hope for is to escape all of this insufferable madness from time to time."
"And can you?" Sokka asked.
"Only when I'm with you." Zuko answered honestly, "Maybe it's that way for everyone. I know that when I'm with you I'm good, better, and best."
"What does that mean?" Sokka asked.
"It means that when I'm with you, I feel good by default. When I'm with you, I feel better about myself and my life than I would without you. And finally, when I'm with you, I actually feel like a king, I feel like a lucky man, I feel like I found the best thing ever, and I feel the best I ever felt for having you by my side."
"Well, Zuko, as long as we stick this out, I think that Aang, you, and I can make this world more peaceful. If you have to keep me close to your vest, that's okay with me because I'm close to your heart."
"So, with all of that… What will you tell Suki when we find her? If she figured us out, then there's nothing to dissuade her from hurting you. If she doesn't know, then you dispatching the entire Nation's police forces and troops makes it look like you realized that you loved her or something…"
Realizing that Zuko was correct, Sokka tensed up. Then and there, he realized that he, and he alone had to solve the Suki situation. The Tribesman was quite adamant with his noext thought, "I have to speak with her and deal with this. And Zuko?"
"Yes?" The Fire Lord asked, feeling a ball of uneasiness dorm inside his core.
"I have to do it alone. I can't have Aang, Katara, Toph or even you there."
"I know." Answered Zuko, "That's probably best because if she tries anything feisty, I- I don't think I can be held responsible for what I'll do." The Fire Lord did not realize it, but the potential of the situation going south caused the Fire Lord to react physically react the way any master firebender would. Zuko's skin was still its normal white color, his eyes were still their luxurious gold hue, his long jet black hair remained in place, but his internals were on fire.
"Calm down, Zuko," Sokka warned, "Your skin is so hot to the touch. I didn't know firebenders could get so hot so quickly."
"I'm sorry," Zuko exhaled some gray smoke, and his body returned to the normal temperature of a firebender, 100 degrees flat. With some of the heavenly smoke still exiting his mouth, "I'm… I just love you is all, Sokka, and I get jealous. I guess I'm a romantic, so what can I say? It's not you who I don't trust, it's her. And all women have their wiles for getting what they want. If she tries anything-"
"I love you too Zuko, and I know you trust me." Sokka didn't need Zuko in a bad mood. Inhaling some of the smoke and savoring its iconic scent, Sokka shuddered and realized more how much he craved Zuko. "That smells good, Zuko. I don't know what to call it. If passion was something that could be sensed, that would be it."
What Sokka didn't realize was that the smoke was scented like hickory. There was no wonder about why he liked it so much, but there was no need to tell him that.
They said nothing for a while, and the hours passed in comfortable embrace. There were a few words that were blue, in all senses of the word. The world's problems were as nothing to the teenage angsts that still plagued the couple. Sokka thought it funny that who he dated affected the world political situation in a way that was too real to have even be dreamt up by the devil. Zuko only commented that Sokka's dick had too much power over people. Sokka reminded Zuko that, in real physical and biological terms, Zuko was the only person to have ever experienced its power. The Fire Lord couldn't help but blush. More silence followed, in a cycle of speeches. It went something like this: Silence, lovey-dovey-ness, sensuality, sexuality, and then a final completely pornographic comment that made them both stiffen slightly, throb, and return to normal.
The phone rang just before eleven o'clock. Getting up, Zuko exhaled amouther puff of smoke to relax himself and not give away any of his emotions to Hashi or whoever was calling. He picked up the phone and faced that same wall. Sokka turned his body to watch Zuko and, in the meantime, got a nice view of Zuko's ass. Let's say that Sokka didn't just sneak a peak, but he watched it like one of those 'picture-shows' Aang had told him so much about.
Again, Sokka could only hear Zuko's half of the conversation:
"Hello… How long ago?" Zuko's voice changed into one of shock and dismay. He turned to Sokka as he continued to speak into the phone, "What?...Where?... Are you sure about that?..." Zuko regained his composure, "Thank you… Yes, we'll you in a bit, thank you."
Zuko hung up the phone and turned to his boyfriend again. His voice was confusion, "I can't believe it."
"What?" Sokka looked into his golden eyes and saw nothing but perplexity.
"She turned herself in about twenty minutes ago." Zuko answered.
"What?" The confusion was contagious, and Sokka caught it.
"She heard the bulletin somehow and turned herself in at a local police station."
"These are some strange times, Zuko." That was all Sokka could muster.
Having been woken up from an uneasy slumber, the Gaang, our favorite heroes and heroines, made their way to the one of the great halls. This Hall was by the Western Gate of the palace and was lined with great paintings of the previous Fire Lord. The Gaang, now joined only by Hashi, stood along the wall as children did in school. Zuko and Sokka stood in the middle of the corridor together, with the former being the man who issued the warrant and the later being the only one who could resolve it. Within a few moments, the grand black door that led to the outside opened. A whoosh of cool night air entered the palace, as did Suki and the police officers who had apprehended her. When they stepped in, the deputies could not help but marvel at the grandeur of the place. One was short and fat, the other was tall and lanky. They looked like a comedy troupe, especially with how Suki looked. Dirty, disheveled, but in no way harmed, Suki walked in behind them, manacled, complacent, and bearing a smile that was inexplicable to everyone except her. She was not awestruck because she had seen it all before, and she was scheming something strange.
"My Lord," one of the officers said, "Suki Moon is here. We found her not too long ago."
"Thank you, Officer," Zuko said, "Now, please uncuff her."
"Yes, My Liege." The officer unmanacled her hands, and she proceeded to rub her wrists for a moment. The manacles were too tight on her wrists and her hands were slightly numb, but she was regaining the feeling in her hands. She waited for a brief moment to get all the sensation back before she acted.
Now, no one, and I do mean, no person could have known what was next. Suki, wordlessly, effortlessly, and most especially gracefully, floated as if over nothingness toward Sokka. Zuko anticipated and stepped back to the wall, standing next to Hashi. Without warning, but without any sort of obvious haste she moved towards Sokka. He felt almost paralyzed she made her move. She closed the space between them like a seductress would. She viewed his lack of movement as his being enchanted by her charms. It was more like him being scared to death.
She embraced him tenderly before leaning up and in to kiss him. Sokka tried with all his might to resist her without assaulting her (i.e. punching the shit out of her and knocking her out), but she was able to land squarely on his lips. From Toph's perspective, she could feel all of the emotions. Hashi was plainly dumbfounded, as were Katara and Aang. Suki was in love, hopeful, and downright ecstatic at the possibility that she may be with Sokka again.
Sokka's body gave a repulsed reaction as if someone had poisoned him. Interested, she dug deeper and realized that he, with all his might. was suppressing the urge to vomit there and then. Sokka has turned cold and clammy as if he was going to pass out, but Toph knew he was going to hang on. Sokka fought his way out of the kiss and gasped for air only to further suppress the urge to reproduce his dinner.
If Toph thought Sokka's reaction was bad, she did not know the depths to which Zuko's emotions could descend. His face remained blank, stoic, and unimpressed with the sight before him. And again, his skin did not even show a sign of blush. Meanwhile, his adrenaline was flowing the same as it had when he was fighting his sister in the final battle, that final fierce Agni Kai of the War. Toph sensed this and went against her better judgement, stepping into a fire. She looked into his feelings and the only appropriate word she could come up with was 'homicidal'. She was amazed that he could be appear so calm on the outside while his internal temperature has surpassed boiling point. It was only for the design of a firebender that he did not die from burning so hot. For the first time in a while, Toph actually felt scared and spoke up. She knew that she
"Let's let these two sort this out, guys." She spoke as she walked towards Zuko. Her put-upon innocence was effective, since she was able to drag him away. She grabbed his hand, which was very hot to the touch and dragged him back towards the drawing room. "Let's have some ice cream, Zuko. I want some ice cream."
The Gaang followed Zuko and Toph like a funeral cortège. Hashi murmured something to the police officers, and they left severely confused as to what the hell just happened. Determined to be as far away from the teenage drama as possible, Hashi stepped away from the non-couple, almost running away.
"So, we're alone now." Suki whispered to Sokka, still embracing him. Whatever was the matter with her, she did not notice or care that she was hugging a statue. Sokka was lifeless, but for her a hug was enough.
"Yes, we are." Sokka said, his voice cracking from deep embarrassment.
"I knew you'd send for me. I knew you wouldn't just let me leave. You know I love you too much…"
"I know." Sokka tried to disentangle himself from her clutches, but she seemed like some sort of octopus, always finding another grip. "How about we sit somewhere and talk about this? No yelling, no anger, just you and I speaking and being honest with each other."
"Yeah, I like the sound of that." She said.
"Come on, let's go to the little sitting room and get some food. You must be starving." He suggested. He still cared about her but needed to tell her that they were through."
23:16
Surrounded by friends and sipping slowly on one of those newfangled carbonated drinks, Zuko sat in his Drawing Room. Toph got her ice cream. Aang got some sherbert (no dairy of course), and Katara shared it with him as they cuddled much the same way Zuko and Sokka had been only a couple of hours before. Hashi went away from them after he determined that there was nothing for him to say or do to ease the awkwardness in the room. Zuko had done an expert job in not showing his emotions, and Hashi was none the wiser. The Sage went back to studying some pieces of the law.
"Are you calm now, Zuko?" Toph asked.
"I'm fine." He answered quickly.
"Don't lie to me." Toph said.
"Okay, I'm not fine." He started muttering, "Watching that put me in a bad place. I'm trying to be patient, but even right now thinking about how she was acting. Her filthy mitts all over my Sokkie."
"Sokkie?" Katara chuckled, "Oh, he must really love you to let him call you that. He hated that when we were children. I can't imagine him answering to him"
"Really, I think it fits him like a… sock." Zuko said. Thinking about him made him forget the unpleasantness he was feeling. He was thinking of him in a romantic sense, "He's so gentle and patient, and he's so I just gush when I think about him. And I'm happy that I can finally talk openly about it."
"Is my brother good to you?" Katara asked.
"Better than I am to myself." Zuko answered, "Don't tell him that I told you, but every so often, when he realizes that I'm stressed he'll bring me what he calls 'breakfast in bed.' He gets all my favorite foods and puts them on a special tray he made that has legs and sits up in the bed. He brings the newspapers too. So, we'll sit there for hours talking, dealing with the issues of day. You know, whatever."
"You mean, he does all that for you?" Katara asked rhetorically. "I didn't think he had it in him to be that thoughtful."
"He does have it in him." Zuko answered, reminiscing about the "I think I have to thank you, Katara. Whatever you did, you trained him well. He's every inch a gentleman."
"Well," Katara started, "I taught him the manners to be attractive to anyone he wanted. I was teaching him about how to attract a woman, but I guess, with a few minor adjustments the rules are the same. So long as he's loving, honest, and respectful of your feeling and your body, thoughtful and conscientious to the things going on around him, he'll be fine."
"And he is fine." Zuko answered, "And he's really good-looking too. I do remember thinking that he must've been good looking when he charged at me with that warpaint on way back at the beginning of our journey together. I still haven't forgiven him for the boomerang to the head, though."
"I forgot about that," Aang started laughing, "And you looked so angry."
"I was," Zuko remarked, his body almost down to normal temperature, "It hurt. A boomerang to the head ain't soft. Then I got to see him up close when you, Katara managed to freeze him to the deck of my boat. Then you fucked it up Aang with you making that damn iceberg basically swallowed my little ship."
"I never heard all of this stuff," Toph chimed in, "I came around in the spring, but winter sounded ridiculous the way you guys speak about it."
"Wait," Zuko sat down, "You don't know about Zhao and the Blue Spirit, Toph?"
"The Blue who?" Toph asked, shrugging.
Aang laughed, "The Blue Spirit saved my life once."
"Indeed he did." Katara joined in, starting to snicker along with her boyfriend and the Fire Lord.
"What the hell is so funny?" Toph asked exasperated.
"Nothing," Zuko answered.
"At least you two weren't around while we were trying to cross the Great Divide." Aang answered.
"What happened?" Toph asked.
"Not now," Aang answered, "We need to have Zuko's boyfriend here to have the whole story. Let's just say that Sokka and Katara were both eating, and eating well, while I was starving to death."
Zuko could commiserate, "Well, Fire Nation Navy provisions aren't that great either. Aside from the occasional treat when we came to a port, the food we got was this terrible mystery meat and hardtack. Every man was given a share of sugar for his whole trip which amounted to about three-fourths of an ounce per day. Sometimes we got some jerky."
"Aang?" Katara called out, "Remember when you thought Sokka's seal jerky was firewood?"
"Oh, yeah," Aang recalled, "Those were the early days. He was sad when I was around him. I get the feeling that he never forgave me for it. Poor guy looked so dejected. I felt bad, but I mean come on. I was raised in a society where I had never seen jerky before."
"Well, to thank him for the help," Zuko started, "I was thinking I would have a barbeque soon. I'm going to set up a rotisserie outside, probably Friday afternoon to have some Fire Nation barbeque,"
"So long as you grill some vegetables, I'm in." Aang said.
Zuko concluded, "I just want to thank him for his constant thoughtfulness."
Thoughtfulness was Sokka's entire goal while he was talking to Suki. His attitude at the moment set aside, he was trying to see what had turned the girl he liked into this strange, unrecognizable monster. Whatever the matter was, he was determined to see what he could do to solve it. That said, he had no place to start. The only framework that was reasonable was the theory that Toph posed. It was not definite, but something happening to Suki while they were separated made some sense. The change did start immediately after they were reunited. Putting aside the feelings of excitement and the whooshes provided so readily by adrenaline, Suki was a bit altered. Sokka did not have the time or wherewithal to investigate, but then he had not known what happened.
Endeavoring only to find the truth, he steeled himself to have this final meal alone with her. He would be confounded if he did not put together what happened in her case. They sat alone in a fully lit room on opposite sides of a great table. Overcoming his nausea, he asked for a steak and some mashed potatoes. She asked for the lemon pepper salmon and a side salad.
Sokka spoke to her while they waited.
"I'm glad you're safe, Suki." Sokka said genuinely.
"Yes, I am, Sokka. And I'm glad you cared. I knew that letter would make you search for me… and you even used Zuko's troops to do it." Suki's voice was saccharine and made Sokka want to defenestrate.
Forsaking any semblance of patience and wanting this experience to be over as soon as possible, he spoke."Yes, Suki, because there is one question, a serious question I have to ask you." He looked her right in the eye. "What happened when we were separated at the final battle?"
"What?" There was a flash of fear in her eyes that confirmed his worst nightmare. She continued, "No, nothing happened, I swear."
"Suki, don't lie to me."
"I'm not lying, Sokka." Her voice cracked melodramatically.
"All of this time I've known you and you're telling me I can't tell when you're lying. Suki, tell me and I can help you… whatever it is, we can fix it. I can fix—"
Interrupting, she cried out in a mighty shriek, "NO! You can't fix it!" She was in full hyperventilation mode by then and only spoke in gasps, "No… one… can."
Suddenly, the door flew open. Toph ran in followed swiftly by the rest of the Gaang. Sokka, whose back was to the door only heard the commotion behind him as the room filled and the door closed again. By this time, Suki was standing and addressed then all, even though her eyes were still fixated on Sokka's and his on hers. Toph was about to say why she barged into the room so suddenly, but the tension in the room stopped her. Something told her that what she had to say could wait. The immediate danger she had sensed had passed, but now she realized that she could not leave. Besides, if her theory was correct and something did happen to Suki while they were separated, Toph was part of that equation.
Suki spoke again, her eyes still fixed on Sokka, the man who remained seated as she paced about. "He had a knife Sokka." Her voice was cracking, and tears were starting to well up.
"Who?" Sokka asked.
"When we were separated," She started, her hands moving wildly as she spoke and she paced as if not wanting to be pinned to anyone spot, "I had to find a way to take control of the dirigible that I was already on. I had memorized the schematics of the things and took the route to the would be the emptiest, but I was wrong. I…" Her voice was starting to crack as a single tear escape and fell unceremoniously down her face, "I… I… was stealthy as I walked down that corridor to the bridge."
"I-" Sokka tried to find something to say, but nothing presented itself.
"He came up from behind me, and he had a knife. He was a soldier... he pinned me against the door and he pressed the edge of the knife on my neck." She gasped and felt as claustrophobic as she had during the trauma. "He whispered to me about what he would do to me. He started to touch me... He started to grab me… I told him to stop. I tried to bite him. I- I tried to kick him in the groin as hard as I could. He started trying to rip my clothes off."
"Did he-" Sokka couldn't wrap his mind around it. He had to almost regurgitate the words: "Did he rape you?"
She did not answer, "I thought I had heard some footsteps coming towards me, towards us, me and the man attacking me. He was so into what he was about to do to me he didn't see the other soldier. I thought that my nightmare waa going to be doubled. I prayed to the spirits that I could at least die so i didn't have to be raped by two men. I guess they heard me because the second man pulled out something from his pocket and stabbed my attacker in the neck My clothes were half off, and my attacker's blood was now covering me."
She continued, "I watched as they one who attacked me bled and gasped for air." Her movements stopped, and her face became blank, her gaze became distant and cold, but was still fixed unrelentingly into Sokka's eyes. She tilted her head, making some "The knife that the other soldier used cut into his windpipe. He was breathing through that hole, but he was sucking in the blood from his veins. I watched a man drown in his own blood. The last thing he did while he was writing on the floor in a pool of blood was grab my ankle. I kicked him in the head and the gurgling stopped and all the grip in his hand was gone."
"And the soldier who saved you?" Sokka asked.
"Well, I ran before I could do anything about him. I remembered what was going on and what the mission was. I put it all aside so that… so that we could win. I tried to wipe the blood off, but it blended in with the red I was already wearing. I was wet with sweat and blood.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Sokka asked, hurt by the whole thing, "Why didn't you let me know what was wrong?"
"I wanted to, but when I got back to you. You had joined Zuko and I thought… well, I thought you you knew it. I thought that you put it together that I'm damaged."
"What the fuck?" Zuko asked out loud in pure consternation at the whole situation. It wasn't directed at her, but at the mess that this whole He regretted the statement for a half moment, but then stood by it. Then these words were directed to her:"What's the matter with you? He was here the whole time; how could he have known?"
"Your soldier tries to rape me and you wonder what's wrong with me?" Her tone befitted the indignation she felt so strongly towards the country at large. Now she looked at Zuko, "I have been trying to be patient with Zuko, but there's some things I need to say to you."
Zuko just looked at her.
She spoke with venom, "This world doesn't revolve around you, Zuko. All your life has been easy. You had it all made from day one. Your countrymen have gone all over the world raping, robbing, and destroying the world."
Zuko ignored the 'had it easy' part, considering the obvious sign of abuse on his face. He spoke more calmly, "Don't you think I know that? I'm stuck here trying to put my country back together, because believe it or not a century of War has left my people weary, strange, and guilty. My people don't have it made. Right now, I know that someone on my islands isn't eating, isn't going to school, isn't being allowed to have a normal life because of this war. There's nothing I can do to change the past, there's nothing I can do to stop that from happening to you. I'm sorry about it. I'm sorry about this whole War. I wish there was something I could do to go back in time to stop my grandfather from doing this, but I can't."
"Well, I wish a lot too, Zuko." She answered, "I wish that Sokka could see me in the same light. I knew that when Sokka saw me, he could tell that I was soiled. I was damaged, but I thought that maybe we had a chance."
"Suki, I-" Sokka stopped and thought of this from a new line, "I didn't know Suki. I- I'm sorry that I wasn't there to protect you. The man who did this to you has gotten his justice. But I know that whatever you're feeling still has to haunt you."
He stood up and walked towards her. He opened his arms. "I know that this was hard."
She walked right into her arms and started sobbing the way only a distraught woman could. Sound and syllables arose from deep within her as the emotions poured forth. Zuko looked at the sight and pitied the woman. His heart softened, he said that the rest of the people should leave. Grateful for the opportunity to escape, Toph, Aang, Katara, and Zuko made a rapid departure.
"Sokka," she continued, finding words to say into his chest, "Zuko's right, I- I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking right. I just thought… I don't know what I thought, but I needed you… but I didn't tell you."
He comforted her, "Well, it's okay now. You are telling me now."
"I was such a bitch to you. No wonder you dumped me." She spoke bitterly to herself, cursing every untoward word and barbs she shot him unfairly.
"I should have been a better boyfriend and realized that something was wrong. I should have tried to talk to you."
"I was afraid, Sokka. I was afraid that maybe you would dump me if you knew about this. You'd see that I want the strong woman you liked."
"But you are strong, Suki. You are the strongest person I know. You're strong enough to survive this war. You're strong enough to survive that awful trauma. You're strong enough to tell me now what happened. And you're even strong enough to tell all of our friends. You are strong enough to show your emotions which is something I still can't do for myself."
"There's a war on, Sokka." She said reaching for something, anything to distract her from her emotions and justify her detachment.
"The War's over. Now, you and me have to be strong enough to move on. We both have to be strong enough to try and put this peace together. We can't get stuck now, and I don't want you stuck with this. I ant to do anything I can to help you move on, Suki, anything I can so that this can die the same way he did."
"But Sokka, I know that we can't be together anymore. I know that what we were ended the second I wanted too much out of you. And I'm sorry about how all of that happened."
Sokka was happy at that news. "It's okay, Suki. I'm not mad at you anymore, I understand now.
"Thanks," she backed up from him and started wiping some of the tears away. "I'm not really hungry anymore. I- I think I'm going to head to bed. Can we talk some more in the morning?"
"Are you sure you want to wait."
"Yes, Sokka. I need to sleep on it."
Monday, October 15th, 01:06, Zuko's Bedchamber
Zuko was still awake when Sokka came into the bedchamber. He was sitting in bed in his pajamas preparing several documents to change some laws in the morning. Namely, Zuko was going to repeal the whole dancing ban immediately, introduce decimalization to the currency by January 1st along the lines Sokka introduced, and to allow those new 'automobiles', contraptions that could go 20 miles per hour, to drive on public roads (as the were in the former colonies). Zuko's work never stopped, so he read copies of the current laws and crossed out what he was repealing and/or wrote in the new text of the laws. The red box was on the table next to the bed. Zuko was still entranced in the words while he held his pen in hand. In the morning, he would have the laws written rewritten and entered into the statute, where they would all go into law after the proper measures carried out. Sokka was quiet as he walked in. He stepped towards Zuko and saw something different. Zuko ws wearing spectacle, eyeglasses they called them here in the Fire Nation and in the colonies. He liked how they looked on Zuko's face.
"Those are cute on you," Sokka said.
"What?" Zuko jumped a little bit and took the glasses off, putting them back on the bedside table.. "Oh Sokka. You're back. I'm sorry for losing my cool."
Sokka sat on the edge of the bed near the Fire Lord. "It's fine, Zuko. You only said what everyone was thinking, but I don't know why you guys came running in."
Zuko explained himself, "Well, Toph stooped us and said, 'she's about to have a heart attack'. She grabbed me and basically we ran across to you guys. Toph told us the reaction from Suki's body was the most extreme she had ever seen. She said that Suki's heart was pounding faster than a hummingbird's. But she calmed down a bit by the time we got there."
"Well, good." Sokka answered.
"So… how did it go?" Zuko asked, as he put the papers back into the box and closed it, "I was ready to shoot her when she kissed you like that. And Toph told me that you got nauseous."
"I was… and don't worry. I went to my room and brushed my teeth after that. Well, we talked and she actually told me that we're through, but I can't be sure that she doesn't know about us. I know that right now at least, she doesn't hate me."
"Well, that's a step in the right direction." Zuko answered.
Sokka commented, "As messed up as we ended, I never wanted anything to happen to her. I just wanted her to be happy, and I knew that I wasn't the person who could do that."
"Well. you make me happy, Sokka." Zuko answered, "And that means the most to me."
"That means the most to me too, Zuko. I'm sorry about this whole mess. I wish we'd have known about what happened to her. I was just so angry with her when she came back and was so different. I should've seen what the problem was or that there was even a problem."
"Coulda, woulda, shoulda, Sokka. We have to focus on the here and now." Zuko bit his lip a little bit and crawled over the to Sokka. He sort of knelt behind Sokka and started to rub his back and shoulders. He used his firebending to make his hands warm to make the massage feel good to Sokka. "Come to bed, Sokka."
"You know, it's not that simple to me, Zuk-" Zuko found a tense spot on his lover's back. Sokka melted into the touch, "Damn, that feels good."
"You know I have the magic touch."
"I kn-"
There was a loud rapping at Zuko's door. It didn't sound like Hashi, and none of the other banged that way. Sokka got up immediately and went to hide in Zuko's closet. It was strange, but Zuko's closet was large, probably about the size of the two ordinary Southern Water Tribe igloos put together. It was a walk in closet that had a corridor and electric lights. Indeed it was so big that, the little corridor inside it actually branched off to the left and right. He got into the thing and shut the door behind him. He did not turn on the lights, because he didn't need any light leaking out and revealing his presence.
Zuko put on a robe and walked out to the drawing room and then to the main door whence the knocking came. He opened the door and there was Suki standing alone. Clean now, she asked if she could come in. He obliged and let her into the drawing room. Feeling that the room was too formal for whatever was about to happen and so that Sokka could hear what happened, he asked her to come through to his bedchamber. Unable to say no, and not feeling a threat from Zuko, she went into the room. She could not help but be impressed by the grandeur of the place. He grabbed a chair for her to sit on. And he sat at foot of the bed, his legs dangling over the edge. Sokka was certainly within earshot, but Zuko dare not even look in the direction of his closet for fear he would reveal too much emotionally.
"So, what did you want to talk about Suki?" Zuko asked, his tone polite, "First of all, so you want some tea, iced tea, coffee, ice cream, anything?"
"No, Zuko." Suki answered quickly, "I just wanted to talk to you about everything."
"Yes?" The Fire Lord felt a bit of tension forming in his stomach.
Suki spoke, at first sounding (a little) more like that girl Zuko had liked (platonically). "Well, first I want to apologize. Sokka and I talked earlier and he showed me that you don't have it easy. I guess you're busy too. The fact that you're still up at this late hour means you're busy running this country." She spat that last word. And the apology felt as if it arose from duty and not sincerity. As far as Zuko was concerned she could have saved her breath with the backhanded tone, but he curbed his sarcasm and mustered a genuine response.
"I can't complain," Zuko remarked, "I mean, look at this place. I'm just trying to do my best as we all are. I think. But I need to apologize to you too. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. It's just that it's a bitter thing to swallow that my Nation, in my family's name has done such awful things. And I'm sorry about what I did to your village. I don't know if I ever told you how sorry I am. But I am really very sorry about it, all of it."
"I don't know if I'm ready to accept either of those apologies." She answered honestly. "But for the sake of peace… I guess… I'm going to ignore these things. I won't ever forive these things. Zuko, I have known you for a while now. I know that you're not evil, but I can't forget all the evil things you've done. So I have to leave."
"You can stay as long as you want, Suki. You know, maybe talk with someone about all of the things that have happened to you and-"
She was quick to answer. She was calmer now, but her feeling were still understandably raw, "I can't take any money from you. It would bother me too much to take any money from you as if money will make anything better. You capitalists think that money is the answer to everything."
"I-" Considering the fact that many people in the Earth Kingdom owned their property, Zuko was confounded by the 'capitalist' comment. Something in him told him that some contrary idea might come forth. He knew that she was smart enough to think it up, and that she was charismatic enough to sell it. All those ideas hitting him at once made him unable to speak. Not to worry, she filled the void.
Suki continued "And I'm going home today, immediately because I'm packed and ready to go. If you want to help me Zuko, pay for my passage back home."
"Suki, I-"
"You want to make things right?" She half asked and half stated. "This can be the first step."
"Fine, I'll do it," Zuko said bitter and defeated. "To Kyoshi?"
"No," Suki answered, "I'm going to Ba Sing Se. I need to help the Earth King and my countrymen. I don't think that after a century of War against us, that we can just forgive you so easily."
"I have just one more question then." Zuko said seriously.
"What?"
Zuko inhaled and exhaled before he posed the most important question ever asked of her in his opinion, "Do you hate me and my people?"
"I hate all of the things this country stands for. I hate the blatant consumerism and imperialistic ideas you people have. I hate how you feel that you are the be all and end all of the Earth. I hate how you think that you are the only civilized people to ever walk the planet. Everything I had been taught as a child is the opposite. There's no charity, just sharp elbows, and sharp knees. You call yourselves aspirational, but all you aspire for is things and you're willing to do anything, rape, burn, and kill to get thing and to make money. I do not hate you because I don't think that there is anyone worth the effort of hating them, but these damn islands could sink into the ocean for all I care."
Zuko ignored her vitriol because he was expecting it. He answered her, "Well, fine. I understand what you're saying, and I can get you an escort within the hour. You'll be off these islands by tomorrow morning, and in Ba Sing Se by the end of the week, I'll pay for your passage all the way to the Upper Ring. On one condition."
"What's that?" Suki asked.
"I'm going to write a letter to the Earth King and I would ask that you deliver it into His hands. That's all I want."
"I can do that. And I keep my promises." She said, "The sooner as the sloppy business of getting my country some recompense is done the better."
"Are you going to tell Sokka that you're going to leave?" Zuko asked ignoring her again. It seemed the only right thing to do when she was here. When she was abroad, he would pay close attention to her, documenting and reading every word she put out into the ether. For good reason, he looked on her now as the real enemy, an adversary whose main weapon would be words, not guns. He knew that Suki would be in Kuei's ear poisoning the Earth King's perception of Zuko and making peace that much harder. They both knew it, but Zuko had an advantage. Her education had been in stealth and soldiering, his had been in statecraft. He snapped back out of his thoughts and predictions when she started speaking again.
"I left him a letter in my room here telling him why. I'm sure that he'll find a good Water Tribe or Earth Kingdom girl to marry when he's done advising you." Sighing silently, Sokka shook his head in the the dark, but that confirmed that she was in the dark about his relationship with Zuko.
"I want you to always know that that room is always available to you if you change your mind. You're always welcome to come back," Zuko only said this to clear his conscience and to let Sokka know that he dealt with her gently. "Well, do you mind waiting in your room? I'll give you the letter before you leave."
"That's fine."
02:28
She had gone back to her room and Sokka came out of the closet.
Sokka started, "I'm glad this is over. And she doesn't have a clue."
"I know." Being in a hurry to write a good letter, Zuko said looking around for the best paper he could find. The fact that he dodged the bullet had not hit him fully yet. He found some good, heavy paper. "Now, what should I say to him?"
Sokka started to dictate what he thought was best.
After about forty minutes of wrangling, Zuko wrote the final copy in his best calligraphy.
Your Most Gracious Majesty,
I commend this letter to You in the hope that We, together, can build peace. I know that the process will not be easy for either of Us, our great nations, or our subjects, but I am sure that if we work together in good faith, we can make the world a better, fairer and most especially safer world for our children. I am committed to this goal, and I am sure that you are too. In seeking this goal, I would need to see You and speak to You face to face. I formally invite You to the Fire Nation where We may meet begin to tackle the peace. If it suits You better, I am also willing to travel to Your beautiful capital, Ba Sing Se.
I have seen the beauty of Your country. I have known the industry, perseverance, and morality of Your people. I fell in love with the character of Your subjects because they remind me so much of Mine. Your people are thoroughly decent, remarkable in their skill, and unrelenting in their will. These traits and the imperative fact that they are shared by My people makes the prospect of peace for Us and Our posterity all the more necessary.
I look forward to receiving Your reply. I look even more forward to the day when You and Your subjects can be very welcome guests in Your country and I and mine in the Earth Kingdom. I look most forward to the day when Our subjects can be at total peace,
Sincerely,
Zuko, the Fire Lord
03:15
Zuko put on a formal robe. He wanted to see her off the right way. He walked to the Eastern Gate where there was a carriage waiting to take her to whatever awaited her. A couple of servants helped her with her bags. Zuko handed her the letter in a special envelope. He was exhausted. He had been up for about twenty hours and he was running on fumes. Zuko knew that the job of Fire Lord was going to be tiring, but this was the first time it really was. He stood at the gate and watched her put the letter into a pocket in her green cape. He wished her well, but could not wish her luck. The woman he had just had in his home had left ready for a fight. He knew that peace was going to be difficult, but watching her carriage disappear into the distance sealed fate in his eyes. There would be peace, but the Harmony Restoration as Sokka had envisioned was not going to happen. At least, it wasn't going to happen now.
He had hoped against hope that something good would arise from their encounter. A funny thought struck him almost as a vision. He pictured Suki as the person running the Earth Kingdom. Maybe she would marry Kuei, maybe she would dethrone him, or maybe she would pull a Long Feng situation. What the final result would really be was beyond his control.
So he went back to his bedchamber. The coming weeks and months would be unpredictable, but he would have to navigate them flawlessly. He walked into his drawing room and stopped in the middle of it. What was worse was that his thoughts zapped his last hope of going to sleep immediately. He went into his room quickly and grabbed his glasses from the table on which he left them a couple of hours earlier. Ignoring Sokka on the bed, he went the main room in his wing and found the thing his mother had taught him in secret. In his father's time on the throne, the thing only remained in the room because it part of the royal collection. Ozai did not want his son doing this, but Zuko's mother, in her infinite wisdom insisted that he learn.
So, Zuko sat on the bench in front of the piano and uncovered the keys. He had been out of practice for years, but he knew that he never forgot how to play the was talented at it when he was little. It had only taken him two years for him to be certified a bona fide piano master. He had loved it when he was young and found great comfort in it.
Opened the bench and found the same sheet music that he had learned as a child, but he set it aside, because he remembered this particular piece of music and every keystroke that was in it. It was written eighty-one years before he was born, but it spoke to him as Sokka did. He started, his hands finding the right keys, his heart finding the rhythm to it: The Moonlight Sonata.
As he played the first movement flawlessly and emotionally, he cried the bitter tears of war, grief, and tiredness. Letting the tears flow and permitting them to run down his face. He was entranced and moved beyond words by the music that had comforted him as child and played in his head when he saw the destruction this war had visited upon humanity. He cried clouding his vision, but his hands knew where to go on that beautiful instrument. The first movement of this piece became more than just a dirge for the fallen in the War but an expression of pain, anxiety, angst, and fright he felt being a teenager in charge of a Nation.
He grieved for a life of simpleness and contentment that was gone. He grieved for his mother who had taught him the beauty of expression and the way to put that expression into music. He grieved for all the death he knew was to come. He grieved for the relationship that he had to hide, the light in his heart that he could not show.
When the piece came to its natural conclusion a few minutes later, he in an undignified way wiped his tears on his sleeve. He got up to see his friends. Aang, Toph, Katara, and Hashi stood by the main entrance of the room all in their pajamas stunned and amazed. Toph and Hashi would both deny it later, but they were crying the same way Zuko had been, especially the former. Toph was silent, but the beauty of the music coupled with the emotions she felt oozing from Zuko made her realize how sensitive the boy really was and how unfair it was to have him be in such a vulnerable station in life, Aang stood by and was reminded of what things were like before the War. He would go to concerts like these in the Fire Nation and hear these beautiful pieces of music performed. Katara was simply stunned, amazed that she could have ever hated Zuko.
Sokka was seated in a chair near the piano. He could feel the heat that was rising off of Zuko as he played. He felt the notes resonate through his body the same way Zuko's love did.
"I'm tired, and I need to go to bed," Zuko was about to beckon Sokka to come with him, but he noticed the young Sage and called to him instead, "Hashi."
"Yes, My Lord." Hashi answered.
"We'll convene at two o'clock in the afternoon." Zuko said, his voice tired.
"Yes, Sire." Hashi said.
"Good night everyone." Zuko said.
"Good night," they all said back as they all walked out, including Sokka.
The tribesman returned to Zuko's room a few minutes later, got into bed, and became the big spoon.
