Hi! I'm back (finally), and I promise that this chapter is going to be less dark than the last one, although I can't promise how much lighter it will be, because Feyre still has to confront her family about Tamlin, and I have to reveal my evil plans *insert evil laughter* so don't get too excited (although there aren't enough of you, my loyal fans, for that to be an issue). Also, I read ACOFAS, and it's amazing. But I don't want to spoil it, so if you have read it, pm me so we can , let's get on with the story! Enjoy!
Rhysand:
I couldn't find her.
My mate.
I couldn't find my mate. Feyre had winnowed away after I had simply said the name Tamlin. And of course the fact that I hadn't told her.
I supposed it was a bad day for her. We both had them. But this… I couldn't find her.
I couldn't get through her shields. It didn't even seem like anything was behind them. It was the day when the Attor attacked Velaris all over again, when I couldn't get in. When I couldn't get through.
None of us could. Amren couldn't track her. Az and Cas couldn't find her. I couldn't sense her own the mating bond, even though it was still there and intact thank the Mother, and Az's spied couldn't find her.
For hours and hours. No one could find my mate.
I had stumbled into our room, a cluster of our personalities, and sank down the wall closest to the door, tears freely flowing.
Everything had been so good for so long. We had been healing. Things were getting better every day, both inside our heads and hearts, and out on the streets of Velaris. And I had ripped that apart.
I was still sitting against that wall when the door creaked open and closed softly again. "Not now Azriel. Not now," I told my spymaster weakly, thinking that it was Azriel, considering that he was the only member of my family that would have closed that door so quietly.
"It's not Azriel," a voice that I had not been expecting answered. The smell struck a moment later. Feyre. Mate.
I was up off of the ground and facing her in the blink of an eye. I couldn't believe it. She had disappeared, and now she was back. And she wasn't yelling, or throwing anything at me. And she… she was still looking at me like she loved me.
She still looked like Feyre. She didn't look like I had shattered everything good between us with one terrible kept secret.
But still, even though I wanted to hug her, to kiss her, to make sure that she was real and I wasn't seeing an illusion, I stood still.
This was her decision, as I tried to make everything concerning her. I wasn't going to touch her if she didn't want to be touched. I wasn't going to force her into doing anything. I wasn't going to be like Tamlin. Not when he was what started all of this in the first place.
Feyre stepped closer, and closer, until we were close enough to share breath. She looked at me, with clear eyes, and smiled. I almost pounced on her then, but I held that leash on my self control tight, even when the scent of her this close made me insane.
Then she came even closer and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly, like she was making sure that I was still here too. Slowly, so slowly, I brought my arms up around her, squeezing her to me, breathing her in. My mate. Who didn't seem to be on the verge of murdering me.
Then Feyre pulled back, and cupped my face in her beautiful, painters hands. "You're mine," she whispered, effectively snapping that leash that I had been so carefully keeping on my self control.
I crushed her into me, crashing my lips against hers in a bruising kiss. "I'm yours. And you're mine," I whispered between kisses, as we slowly backed towards the giant bed in the middle of our room.
We had just fallen onto the bed, Feyre on top me, straddling my waist as we kissed, when the door banged open. "Cassian," Feyre whispered after a groan of annoyance at being interrupted, without looking at who it was.
Then she climbed off of me, much to my chagrin, and faced the person standing in the doorway. It was indeed our general. "Called it," Feyre spoke out loud, not bothering to fix her half ridden up sweater as she walked out the door past Cassian, who looked amused.
"We should've known that you lovebirds would have made up soon enough. Although, we could have done without the terrifying interlude Feyre," Cassian stated, falling in next to me as we followed Feyre down the hallway, her sweater falling into place as she walked.
"We prefer lovebats, and too bad. Next time don't drop something like that on me," my mate answers, raising her eyebrow at us over her shoulder as we descend to the living room.
Cassian laughs and begins defending himself, telling Feyre that he had no idea about the letter either until I had told them all, but I was too preoccupied with the shadows that I had seen in my wife's eyes to pay much attention.
Even if she had forgiven me, and that she understood why I had done what I had done, I could tell that learning that Tamlin was contacting us again had done something to her. Something that had cleared her mind and heart as much as it had hurt them.
And there was that smell, the one that I had sensed clinging to her own scent, but I hadn't been able to place… what was it? And why did it seem to bring dark feelings to mind? Where had she gone when she winnowed away?
Then we had reached the living room, and Feyre was at the right angle for me to notice something that I had missed when she had appeared to me earlier. There was dried mud on one of her fingers.
At the same moment that I noticed this, two things happened. One, Azriel, Amren, and Mor all walked through the door to our townhouse, and two, I recognized the scent on my mate.
I tensed, every nerve in my body going rigid. Amren was the first one to notice, and then everyone was looking at me with varying levels of concern.
I was just staring at Feyre. "You went back," I whispered, my eyes wider than saucers.
"Went back where?" Mor demanded, but Feyre gave me a look of understanding.
"Under the Mountain. You went back Under the Mountain," I repeated again, shaking my head as I worked to keep the dark thoughts out of my mind.
Everyone was looking at the two of us now, not sure what to say or do. "I went back. Because I'm a twisted and evil person, and I knew you wouldn't follow me," Feyre whispered, shame filling her eyes, shame that hadn't appeared since she had looked into the Ouroboros, but my beautiful mate didn't break eye contact. She didn't back down.
Never again would she.
I closed my eyes, understanding filling me.
When I opened my eyes again, I was more relaxed. "I understand," I told Feyre. "And you are not twisted. You," I started, my voice cracking, "You are not evil," I told her, letting so many emotions shine clear in my voice that the rest of our family turned around, giving us some semblance of privacy.
Feyre nodded, and I could feel how much it meant to her through the bond.
We would get through this whole mess.
Together.
Well that actually wasn't as happy as I had wanted it to be, but oh well. Next time, whenever that it. Till next time! Bye!
