A/N: Okay, WARNING! This middle part of the chapter involves some Bondage and Discipline. It's Bucky's coping mechanism if he doesn't have control over it, or if something happens to set off the Soldier. The Soldier has no choices, but Bucky needs them, and the control over his own body and what he does with it, so I thought this was a fun way to explore that. You don't have to read, but just know that while it seems rough, it's very sensual and can be very arousing, if done right. I'll mark it like I did with the last explicit scene we had.
Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel,Disney, ABC or the Avengers. Just Sera.
When I awoke the next morning, it was to Bucky's right hand, gently caressing my skin. It had been too warm in our room to sleep with clothes on, and neither of my guys complained. Even for the beginning of October, the heat was just starting to dissipate in the weather. Bucky was quiet as I turned to look at him. It looked like Steve had gone on his morning run, but Bucky looked like he hadn't slept a wink all night. I whispered, "Are the kids okay?"
"They are with Natasha and Wanda."
"Why does everyone steal our kids?" I joked, as Bucky's eyes watered.
"Sera…" He said, before swallowing thickly.
"Go on," I said softly.
"I lost you."
"No, you thought you did. But I'm still here. Just a little more durable. And I'm hearing things better," I said, confused as I recognized the sound of his stomach growling.
"Usually I can handle these things without crying," He said as I saw him fighting his emotions.
"Oh Bucky," I whispered wrapping my arms around him.
"If I lost you again, I don't know what I'd do." He said quietly as I felt him hold fast to me.
"You aren't going to lose me." I whispered, as I felt him begin to cry.
"I lost Steve, after I went over the ravine. I was lost for years. But I thought you were dead. I thought that stuff, had taken you from us. I lost you a second time. Even under the brainwashing, I remembered your touch, you kiss, and the loss I felt when I woke up without you. I went into a white hot rage, tearing apart the city to find you. And then they captured me again, and tried to force your memories out. I don't want to sleep again, because I might lose you for real this time."
"Bucky," I said, taking his right hand and placing it on my chest, over my heart, "Do you feel that?"
"So long as this heart beats, I will never be apart from you or Steve. You hold a piece of me, and I hold a piece of you. That cannot be broken, even by death. And believe me. I want you both to live to the ripe age of 155 before you think about dying."
He smiled painfully before beginning to kiss my body. I followed his train of thought without even hearing it. It wasn't about love, it was about comfort. And as he was my husband, I was more than willing to let him use my body for said comfort. I looked over to make sure the door was locked, before I kicked the sheets off of my legs. Bucky was slow in ensuring that I was there in his arms. His fingers travelled over every inch of my skin, trailing kisses in their wake.
"I want you," he sighed as I dragged my nails up his bare back.
"I'm yours," I said as an invitation.
"Anything?"
"Anything." I said, as I remembered how much he liked to control me in bed. His face hardened, and I shuddered in anticipation.
*************************WARNING: ADULT THEMES and EXPLICIT SCENE**************************
"Welcome back Soldier," I whispered.
"What have I told you about talking without permission?" He said in a low voice. I instantly bowed my head and waited.
"Answer me Seraphina," He said, a cutting edge.
"No talking without permission."
"And what happens if you do? Answer the question." He said, forcing my chin up to look into his eyes.
"I get punished." I breathed, excited at the thought.
"That is correct. And today I won't be as forgiving with your punishment." He said, forcing me to kneel on the bed. I felt my head pushed down and complied with him, as he brought my hands up behind my back to hold both in one of his. I felt him swat at my ass hard, and I knew I wouldn't get a safe word today. It was a few minutes of well deserved spanks to my rear that I started to whimper at the pain.
"You know how I don't like surprises Seraphina. You are being punished for hurting me and the Captain. You deserve this. You need to be controlled, reined in," He said, lining himself up with my center. This was my punishment, no foreplay. But I didn't need it, as I was already so hot for him thinking about what he was about to do to my body. As he thrust in, I cried out, causing him to push my face deeper into the mattress to silence me.
It was bliss and pain, and everything I needed. His hands on my skin were not soft, and definitely not gentle. I started to feel bruised and sore from his hands, but I wanted every minute of it. I felt his metal hand come down hard on my ass as he thrusted, making me bite my lip at the feelings he was creating within me. All the sudden he stopped and flipped me over.
"Look at me Seraphina," He growled as he re-entered me. I gasped, staring into his eyes.
"Why do you deserve this?" He asked, forcefully pounding into me.
"Because it's my punishment." I said, between ragged breaths. I felt him release inside of me, and I craved the release as well, but I knew this was far from over.
"You still deserve a lot more punishment Seraphina," He said at how my body relaxed. Tensing once more, I felt him begin to thrust into me all over again. I bit my lip harder, feeling how raw I really was. My whole body felt like an exposed nerve, but my mind needed this. As his hand clamped around my throat, the cool metal contrasted with the burning sensation I felt creep up on me. But that burning sensation was my lungs. My hearing went first, and then my vision followed, getting blurry as he continued to thrust. It was when I felt a sudden loss of Bucky's body from inside me, that I was able to draw in a sudden breath.
*************************ADULT THEMES and EXPLICIT SCENE OVER**************************
A voice was yelling, as I gasped for air a little less dramatically. And as my hearing came back, so my watering eyes cleared up. I could see Steve's head popping up over the end of the bed and he was yelling. I realized there could only be one person he would be yelling at and tried to yell back, "Steve, it's okay."
"No Sera, this is not okay. He could have killed you," Steve said seriously as he restrained Bucky on the floor. Bucky's face was head down in the carpet, and he was crying, that much I could hear.
"Steve, please. I'm fine. I wanted it," I pleaded with him. He looked up at me confused.
"You wanted him to choke the life out of you?"
"Steve, let him up and I will explain." I said softly, my voice cracking on the last notes. Steve reluctantly let go of Bucky's arms that he had pinned behind his back.
"First, can I have some water?" I asked, feeling my throat. Steve didn't move at first, watching Bucky as I crawled off the bed to cuddle his sobbing form against my chest. When Steve returned with my water, I was able to get Bucky back into his boxers and sit him on the couch as I gulped down the much needed water.
Putting on my dressing robe, I let Bucky's head fall back against my breasts as he sobbed and whispered he was sorry, over and over again. Hushing him and kissing the top of his head, he didn't stop saying he was sorry.
"Steve, when I first met Bucky, he was the Soldier. A man that needed some control in his life, because he knew he had none over himself. During my time with him, I learned how a part of me craved that loss of control. I liked when he got commanding. I liked being punished, because I trusted him with my body."
"When I went through the Terrigenisis, Bucky felt a loss of control. So the Solider needed to make an appearance. He needed to know that I was there, and that he was in control. In Russia, I wore those bruises proudly, and I will do the same with these."
"But Sera, he was hurting you," Steve said, keeping an eye on Bucky.
"I wanted it though. I knew I could tap out, or say our safe word, but I knew how much Bucky needed it, so I didn't."
"Was I hurting you?" Bucky said, in a small voice. I kissed the top of his head and said, "Нет, моя любовь."
"Sera," Steve said gently.
"Steve, I know I haven't done much in the past to merit trust, but trust me when it comes to my own body. Please," I said forcefully. He withdrew the hand he was about to place on my knee and paused. He looked at Bucky's sobbing form and sighed.
"If this is gonna happen again, can I at least be here to referee? I know Bucky would never harm you, but it would make me feel more at ease. Just in case you revert, Buck."
"I would never harm her. She's my ангел."
"I can see bruises forming," Steve said quietly. Bucky's head snapped up and started inspecting my wrists and my neck. Before he could duck his head in shame I caught it saying, "I wanted every moment of that Sergeant. Do not be ashamed."
"I don't want to hurt you. Stevie makes sense," Bucky said, swallowing thickly before gently cradling my wrists and kissing the forming bruises.
Steve nodded, before looking back up at me. As if looking for an answer from me, I nodded, "If I can comfort both my husbands, than yes. Bucky still needs this, and you need some peace of mind. Even though I knew how to escape his hold today, I see why you would feel better. That doesn't mean that I will stop enjoying it. I won't apologize for that."
"I'm not asking you to." Steve said, before looking at Bucky. He reached forward to cradle Bucky's face in his hands and said, "I trust you."
"Trust that I can stop myself. I'm not that person anymore."
"No you aren't. But I can still worry, for both of you. I am your husband after all."
"Okay."
"Okay. Now we can all watch some M*A*S*H," I smiled, moving to put in the first disc of the first season.
A/N: It was interesting for me to right, because I feel like this is Sera's way of secretly giving him therapy. Giving him choices, vs. just telling him how to get better. Showing him that he has control over himself now.
Russian translation:
1. Нет, моя любовь. Translated = No, my love.
