Caged: Retribution
Chapter 13
Todd was on his knees, forehead and fingernails scraping the sand and rocks. Darkness and distance hid him from the main road into Havana. He tasted rain, the sea, and a whole lot of soul-deep misery. Destiny wavered because LOVE intervened. He slowly pushed up. His palms were bloody and he was shaking. The waves kept on with their soothing rhythmic white noise. He listened, focusing on the in and out of his breath and the water.
Why the grief, jefe? You want this, you're ready for this! Don't look at your family, your loves… look at Manuel CARO. Think of HIM. Think of what he's DONE.
He raised eyes to the cloudy blackened sky. He wasn't questioning his plan. He was just fucking sorrowful about missing what would come next. Missing everything. It was proper, though, natural. Of course he'd have a broken heart about dying. He didn't wanna die. He had to. No choice. Shit had to be done.
Except the faces of his children floated in front of him, their voices. His sister. Téa. His home. The sword of grief ripped through him again and he was down once more, moaning into the dirt. Rico was enmeshed in the pain, too. Their… act… had a whole lot of goddam weight to it and he didn't want to think too much on it. He ran from that room in Sylvia's casita. Left a sprawled, sated, still-wounded lover behind. He heard himself sob some more. Something had changed in that bed, something deep had broken, or… cracked… or… whatever it was… and it had cleaved him to this man in a way that was not familiar. Yeah, yeah, it was like the burning of metal, the smashing of atoms… a fucking nuclear explosion inside of him that went far beyond sex. He had done the thing that had been done to him and it had been terribly pleasurable... and loving and soulful and… and…
He and Rico had turned around such ugly things… had made them kind of beautiful and… and… it took his breath away. Like he was dying, like he was losing his skin or his heart, like he was losing the thing that kept him running his whole life.
And he found himself scrambling to hold onto that thing because his destiny was clear.
He could NOT let it go. He HAD to KEEP it.
The rain had stopped and he was glad for it, glad he wouldn't be all muddy. Rain-soaked. Look at Caro, he reminded himself. Yes, look at Manuel Caro… the man had been beaten badly by Pedro, he wasn't eating, cheeks were sunken and his face showed the strain of being cooped up. Except he was in his silk garb and smelled of cologne. Always ready to do his monster business, always ready to greet clients. Todd studied his wrists, the nylon stockings cutting into him as he jerked to get free. He saw the looming shadow of an attacker above him. And so easily, he recalled the pain of being torn up inside.
He was on the ground again, hate flooding his system. Real fucking pain.
Yeah, yeah, THAT, feel THAT. Nothing else matters because you already died, Manning! You died when you were a kid and a hundred more times after that. Blowing yourself up is just a technicality.
No… fucking… choice.
After he dragged himself up, trying to be a man with purpose, vision, bravery, he turned around and stared in the direction of the beach house. He envisioned Pedro Moreno in front of him, aging toughness in fine practical clothes, a button-down shirt always open at the neck, expensive wool pants, polished leather shoes. His face bore the deep lines of a long life spent on the Mambo Kings battlefront. Todd remembered the force of his kicks and the feel of his hard hand. Thousands of times the man had slapped Todd's shoulder in support, approval, but also castigation. You were too fast to judge, Blanco; you are not showing enough respect, Blanco; get sober, Blanco; do that again, Blanco, and I will make you pay with blood.
Pedro had been hard to read tonight. Emotions were veiled, muted, eyes unrevealing. He'd taken the deal too easily. That couldn't be real. Their chat on murder was a strange poem on trust. The lack of it. Neither trusted the other and yet they were all they had.
You have saved my life, padre. I cannot kill you.
You have saved MK and spared me, Blanco, I cannot kill you.
You have condemned me, padre, I have to kill you.
You have exposed my ugly secret and deposed me, Blanco, I have to kill you.
The desire to go back to the beach house overwhelmed him. He wanted to lay his head on Pedro's shoulder and cry like a baby. He wanted promises, absolution, a fatherly assurance that all would be okay in the end. Strange infantile wishes. But more so, he wanted to look at Caro, to REMEMBER in great detail, to confirm, the story. Peter Manning sold him to Caro for his prurient use in exchange for some bullshit business deal, Todd nothing but a perk. Caro was true evil in the flesh that literally orgasmed as he ruined children's lives. As he murdered them.
Todd needed to see Caro because he needed to hold on to the HATE.
He ran the half-mile back to the beach house. He stood for a long time on the sand, eyes on the second story balcony and the weathered French doors that were cracked open for air. A sole light lit the room. He could not see the alcove where Rico had once slept, where he had taken Todd's hand and showed his loyalty by giving his body to Blanco. A smooth and unmarked body that hid his true scars that would never go away. He saw shadows in the bedroom and he figured it was Gloria and Pedro. Todd dropped his head in a kind of shame for so many things. Gloria. Brandy. Leticia. Mostly because he made Rico love him, he about demanded it, but all the while his heart had been bound to his Delgado. Deep inside, he'd never lost hope that he'd love her again, that he'd see her again. He'd been so… thoughtless.
Kill me, woman, fire a million bullets through me but I will never stop loving you. I will be at your feet for all eternity.
Time passed and soon the front door opened and Pedro was there in the light, shirt open. Black loose boxer shorts. No shoes, no socks. He called to Todd, "I see you, Blanco. Come closer."
He did, walking out of the darkness and stopping short. He was quiet, his gaze unwavering.
"You're back," Pedro said. "More to take from me?"
Todd gritted his teeth as he looked past Pedro, searching the foyer, the living room beyond. "Maybe," he said.
Pedro sighed and took in the features of his putative son. They'd been through a lot over the years and Pedro thought about what he learned about him from Caro. It made him sick. Ashamed. The truth was he had distanced himself from Caro's activities. He never thought about them. All he cared about was protecting Caro. That led to passing thoughts on Gloria, on his own personal crimes against innocents but now that list had expanded to all of Caro's victims. They were on Pedro. On this, Manning was right.
"I am sorry," he said quietly.
"For what?" Todd's face was open, curious. As if there was nothing Pedro could possibly apologize for.
"I am not a good man, Blanco." His mouth twisted in an ugly line. "I am sorry for what I ignored. For the stain on MK."
Todd chuckled darkly. Then he sniffed noisily and moved to a different topic. One that did not make him want to murder Pedro. He cleared his throat, rasped, "Is there anything you want me to do to… help you... transition out?"
Pedro smiled, "It is done already. I have sent word. The men will soon know you are King." Quiet a moment or two. "The crown is heavy, my son. Tomorrow our men will seek you out. They will be wondering about new positions, new jobs, new… work. Our men will be feeling the shift. It will not be easy."
Work meant the criminal faction of MK. There was a new hierarchy in place. Who would run the gambling circuits, the drug circuits, who is NOW next in line? Many questions would surface with the announcement of Pedro's voluntary retirement. Todd nodded, now knowing why Pedro took it so smoothly. Not only had be been expecting it, but MK was a goddamn mess and he was happy to step aside. Let Todd take the burden. Last laugh would be on Pedro when he realized his retirement would be lasting only a day.
"I got it," Todd said, glancing past Pedro once again, eyes on the stairwell.
Pedro all of a sudden stepped close to Todd who threw a hand up, his palm thumping Pedro's chest. The two men eyed each other and Todd was breathing fast, a panic firing into him. Pedro looked down at the hard hand on him. As if approaching a grenade, he slowly placed his hand on top of Todd's. He held it. He'd wanted to embrace him, to show his paternal love. He'd done it hundreds of times, sometimes even after being angry with him, being rough with him. Punishing him.
"My son," he whispered in Spanish. "I will always be looking out for you."
Todd shoved him back so hard Pedro had to grab the wall to keep from falling. "You have claimed him as your brother," he growled, "Don't fucking touch me."
"I am not him, Blanco, you must believe me."
It was hard to maintain calm. "Oh it's far too late to separate, padre. You didn't just ignore him, you fucking built an empire for him."
With surprising desperation, Pedro tried to appeal to Todd. "You are right, yes, yes, it is cowardly to say I ignored it. I did more than that. Of course, yes. And I am taking full responsibility. It is why I am stepping down."
Shaking his head, his voice tight, Todd said, "And yet, Caro LIVES. He wears cologne. Silk clothes. Here. In your fucking HOUSE."
Pedro's eyes lit up, "Yes! It is true. But he lives because I am giving him to you. He is yours. To do as you wish with him."
Todd eyed Pedro suspiciously. "Giving him to me."
"Yes, a gift. I don't dare kill him - that is YOUR privilege and yours alone."
"You mean it's a trap, so you can kill me, too."
"No. Everything is as I say it is, Blanco. I have lived… enough… to know the importance of ending him yourself. I am keeping him for you. Nothing more."
Another dry short laugh. "Right."
Pedro stepped aside. "Come in… see him. You will know."
It could be a trap. Maybe not. After a moment or two, Todd stepped in, figuring nothing mattered anyway. Pedro shut the door, the slam making Todd flinch. He was seriously on edge. Too much had happened in the past couple of days. Pedro walked up the stairs, Todd following. The guest bedroom door was shut. Pedro opened it, glancing down the hallway at Todd who had hesitated. Staying at the top of the stairs.
"Come," Pedro said, his voice clipped, commanding. His brown eyes, ice cold. Familiar.
The few steps seemed long. Todd eyed Pedro then looked inside the bedroom.
On the bed was Caro, trussed like a fuckin' Thanksgiving turkey. A cloth gag stretched across his mouth. Arms were tied to the bedposts, legs strapped to the bed. Leather straps held him, the kind used in sexual bondage games. No amateur ropes that Todd used on Rico. His shirt was off, thrown to the side. Bruises were all over him, blackening ribs, chest, belly. Caro's reddened eyes were wild with fear, saliva collecting on the gag. He moaned.
"He is my gift to you, Todd Manning."
"Since when?"
"Generally, since I learned about what happened to you… but this… since tonight. It is my good faith gift, an assurance that I agree with your… leadership."
Caro moaned some more and struggled, objecting, maybe. The room swam. Pedro said something like, "Just tell me when you want him. I will deliver him to you." But his voice sounded far away, hollowed out. Todd looked at him standing in the doorway, isolated, shadowed. His mouth moved but no sound could be heard other than Todd's own breathing. Light shined behind Pedro and Todd watched the rest of the room disappear, fog taking it away and leaving nothing but the bed, Caro, and Todd himself.
He tilted his head and studied the restrained man.
It was a strange view, seeing Manuel Caro this way. He was utterly helpless, tied to the bed like Todd had been as a child. Even the ghostly Pedro played a role. He stood at the door the same way Peter Manning did, standing there as if waiting to watch the rape of a child. Todd breathed to orient himself, to stay in THIS room, focusing on the in and out. But it was too late. The beach house room was long gone, stolen into blackness.
He swallowed and heard every noise in it. His throat closed, making every breath ragged and loud in his ears. He was very far away and very up close.
He moved even closer to the captive rapist. He ran fingertips up Caro's leg, up his bare stomach and chest and up his throat. A finger lingered under his chin, making Caro look at him. He searched for defiance, evil. All he saw was patheticness. He grabbed his hair to stop him from looking away and glanced down at his body. Caro was shaking violently, wide eyes on Todd's now. He screamed a little into the gag.
Leaning over him, Todd gathered up spit and let a long heavy string of saliva drip onto Caro's face. The man tried to turn away but couldn't because of the pulling, deathly grip Todd had on his head. He whimpered, the straps straining. He was begging. Todd grunted at the joke of it as Caro's voice echoed in his head. Such angelic noise you made! Did you know you can come just by a man entering you? Your father would spray us in seconds, that is how moved he was by the sight of us. And finally, he heard him say, Rico is a gift from god, yes? Such perfection since he was a child. He moves like a swan. He needed to tear Caro's throat out with his teeth. Do it now, do it now, doitnownownownow. He wanted to fucking lick the pulsing blood. Do it now doitnowdoitnowdoitnownownow. He wanted to straddle him so he could place his hands around Caro's cut carotid arteries and strangle him anyway. Do it do it do it justfuckingdoit. He wanted to move on him, ride him until he was coming as the life seeped out of Caro.
He knew he was grinning like a goddamn Grim Reaper.
Caro cried wildly now, like a child, snot leaking into the gag. When Todd glanced down, he saw Caro was erect, cock straining against his silken pants. The spit, the touching, excited him.
"You sick FUCK," Todd growled, the HATE too much to hold back. His breath sawed in and out. He moved onto the bed, a knee at the side of Caro. Caro didn't know what was coming and he leaned towards Todd, trying to move his hips towards him, trying to show… something… and it incensed Todd even further.
"What you want, Caro? Huh? Are you actually asking me to FUCK you?"
Caro wept and begged more, moving towards Todd. Pleading gibberish through the gag.
As if, as if.
He then bent low, Caro's hair still in his iron grip, Caro fighting the hold…
… and he bit Caro's fleshy brown nipple. He bit it hard, snarling as he did it, biting, biting without mercy. He could hear Caro's muffled shocked screams and felt him writhing against the pain, kicking wildly, uselessly. He kept on biting, blood and sweat oozing from the pierced skin, kept biting until he felt the nipple slowly tearing away from Caro's chest. He tasted rot and salt, and he groaned louder and louder, shaking with mad unthinking desire to do so much MORE.
Those arteries screamed for him.
He shot up at that and stood still as death. He panted like a fucking dog, hair hanging in his face, platinum and gold blowing in his breath. His reddened lips were parted and blood stained his teeth. He then hawked noisily and spat hard, spraying bloody, mucous-infused saliva all over the face of a gasping, choking Caro. The nipple hung on by shreds of skin.
"You taste like shit," Todd snapped.
Caro flopped his head back and forth, fighting for air through the gag, through his hysterical crying. He pulled at the restraints. Blood poured down his side, spilling onto the sheets below him.
His dick wasn't hard anymore.
The fog that had wrapped Todd and Caro up slowly cleared. Furniture and windows and the dark beyond caught Todd's attention. The waves crashed to the shore. He was at the beach house. He glanced around and landed on Pedro. He hadn't moved an inch, eying Todd coldly. He had made no effort to stop the assault. Wiping his mouth with his shirt sleeve as if he wiped shit off his face, Todd stalked past Pedro. He stopped at the stairs and said, "I'll let you know when I'm ready to finish him off."
The bedroom door shut, Caro's moaning sobs leaking like blood through the walls.
Pedro could not have known that Todd would be returning to the beach house so this had to be legitimate. Caro was imprisoned and Pedro would give him to Todd. Todd kept wiping and spitting the taste from his mouth. He wasn't near done. It had settled him somewhat. The edginess he felt earlier had lessened. It did galvanize the plan. Seeing a trussed Caro assured him he was right to continue his trek towards a Caro-geddon, he was right to put LOVE away despite the immense cost to him.
He had to meet his destiny.
Todd walked fast in the dark, the water rolling, bubbling at the rocks. He was trembling from the adrenaline. He started to run. He would find Rico, now. He promised he would.
Téa lay in her bed, tossed and turned, and finally kicked off the sheets to feel the cold of the moist night air. She and Rolon had talked into the evening, getting room service for dinner. She'd invited Jedediah but he was hanging out with some college students and she was happy for it. She wanted to leave the hotel room, to go out, but Rolon fought her on it. She finally gave in, pissy and impatient and snapping nastily. Watched that door close, hearing Rolon storm down the hall in aggravation. His heavy footfall rivaled Todd's. The noise played in her head over and over.
She sat up, hurt and worry beating inside of her. She could not say for sure that Todd was going to return home. He was upset when he left her, moved by his contact with the children. He hurt terribly and so did she. He made promises though, said he'd come home, said he wasn't going to blow up anything. He said those things but he's a liar. Téa had to work to not think of their lovemaking. How very present he was. How much of her husband he was.
My god, my god, don't tell me goodbye.
Téa had to figure this out. She thought of arrest - get Benicio Juarez to shut this operation down. He had enough evidence to make strong cases to end the pornography ring. Todd was extra. Rolon was perfectly fine with the arrest, said realistically, that was better, but deep down he wanted to skip the law: kidnap Todd, take him back to the U.S., and lock him up in the psychiatric hospital. Jedediah was fully on board with that one. It was a serious idea. He'd handle waking up with Tim at his side better than waking up in a jail cell. They already did the cage thing and that was a disaster.
She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs.
Someone pounded on her door and she startled, thinking it sounded like Todd. She hoped so but doubted it. Eyes flew to the clock. Almost midnight. Peering through the peephole on tiptoes, the fine features of Rico greeted her. She stepped back a moment. She was in her flimsy nightgown, felt too bare to be meeting him, so seductive and daring and threatening he was.
She looked again, searching beyond him into the hallway. Todd didn't seem to be with him and Téa didn't know if that was good or bad.
She opened the door and as she thought, he was alone. He wore a ruby red shirt, silky, open to the middle of his chest. Tight jeans and pretty leather boots completed the picture. Beautiful, beautiful man with defined cheekbones and full lips that asked to be kissed. Téa swallowed and tears welled in her eyes. She didn't know why.
"Rico…" she whispered. He shut the door and leaned against it, haunted eyes on her.
Téa ventured, "Is everything okay?"
"I was out tonight, dancing… and I'm a little drunk… and I wanted to… see you. Up close."
Téa frowned, put her hands on her hips. "Why?"
She saw a rise of emotion in Rico's dark eyes but he shut it down. He sniffled, nodding, and said, "Come out with me, abogada. I need a dance partner. Your husband is no good at that."
Téa shook her head, dismayed by the casualness of his mentioning of Todd. As if they were all just friends who met at the local cafe. She sat on the bed, seeing Rico sway a little. Two nights in a row, two drunken men at her door. She crossed her arms.
"No, I'm not going out."
"Por favor? Come celebrate my American citizenship."
She knew what he was referring to but pretended ignorance, flashing a confused look.
"Me llamo Enrico Diaz." He bowed dramatically and tipped over and then he laughed and laughed and added through the hysterical show, "I am an American! I was taken from my home in New York and raised as a Macias. It was all a lie. Mi vida era una mentira!" He laughed more, bending at the waist, and gasping for air. Téa pinched her eyes because she could not fathom such a situation. To hear him say it made it real. My god… it was… unthinkable. His laughter was the most horrible thing she ever heard.
She got up and found herself holding him, held him as he shook with laughter that turned to sobs. Téa couldn't help but cry with him. He had lost his life to Caro. In her arms, he wasn't her husband's lover but just a kid who'd been torn from his family and dropped into the pits of hell. It took some minutes for him to regain his composure. He gently eased away from her and kept saying, sorry, sorry. Muttered in Spanish.
He pulled his hair back and smiled and he looked so young and sad and innocent in that motion it broke Téa's heart despite her determination to not feel anything but ragged jealousy.
"I am crazy," he said. "Crazy with too much rum and a broken heart." He chuckled and tears rolled down his face. He covered his face, quiet laughter rolling out. He breathed and said again, "Please come out."
"Where is Todd?"
"He is gone for a little bit. He will go back to Sylvia's later. I need to be dancing. I cannot keep still tonight."
"Oh Rico…"
She did not want to go out with him. She wanted to throw him out the window. He moved Todd. He made him feel things he never felt before. They had a bond that reminded her of Brandy only this was far deeper and far more threatening. But then she remembered quickly how absent Rico was when she and Todd were in each other's arms.
Where you been, Delgado?
The memory hit her hard. And she huffed at the love and hurt beneath everything. She wanted to save Todd so very badly and she felt so very helpless. She was reminded of why she wanted to go out, to dance, to drink the last of the wine she'd been sipping at for a few days. She needed a little freedom from this hell. She walked to the desk and picked up the wine bottle. She brought it to her lips and tipped it back, drinking the last half-glass maybe. She turned and said, "Fine. Let's get the hell outta here."
"You have a dress?"
"Oh I have a dress."
The music was loud in the club, loud enough to drown out all thoughts, all emotions other than joy. Téa threw herself into the madness, letting Rico take her by the hand to the dance floor. They bounced and swayed all over the room, through the crowd. The salsa music was hot and modern and perfect. Her dress was a thin flowered rayon, the neckline low to show her full breasts. She wore no bra and if she moved in a particular way, her nipples could be seen by someone tall. As Téa held onto Rico and as he turned her and rocked with her, she let her petty feelings go. He was a good dancer, of course, as she already knew. He was gorgeous and men and women alike eyed him lustfully as they made the circuit.
At one point the wanting of him by the crowd almost choked Téa. She remembered his past, the way people used him. The way Caro used him. She wanted to grab him to her, hide him away, to stop everyone from thinking dirty thoughts, from seeing him that way.
But then she saw him respond to those gazes. The biting of his lip, the sly smile, the side glance, the subtle offer. He loved the attention. People tried to break in but after a while they stopped because Rico wasn't letting anyone interfere. He was saving his heat. She wasn't sure if it was for her or Todd. She didn't care though - it just didn't matter right now. They danced until they were both too tired and too sweaty to continue. They stumbled out of the club's back door, giggling like school kids, and walked into the courtyard. A waitress brought them water at Téa's request but Téa also ordered a couple of beers because water was such an American move and she didn't want to cheat the waitress.
The two drank the water and Rico sucked down the beer. He was quite drunk from shots of rum on the dance floor and he shut his eyes, a content look on his face as he cooled in the night air.
Téa asked, "Do you feel better? A little?"
"Yes, un poquito, thank you for tonight."
It was nearly two in the morning and Téa knew their night had come to an end. They all needed rest. Little Esperanza was bobbing in Téa's belly, as awake as the rest of the club.
"Are you cold, Téa?"
"No… not at all. I needed this, too. Thank YOU."
Rico chuckled, then didn't. He watched the people in their quiet communing. All sorts of people had collected here tonight, the full spectrum of peoples. This was the latest club. Gay, straight, and a healthy handful of what might be transgender people filled up the place. The following month, they'd all move to another "latest." To find it, all one had to do was listen, to follow the more colorful Havana people. It was humanity in its most amazing rainbow of being.
Téa watched them, too, a certain heaviness in her heart.
An equally heavy voice came at her, Rico saying in between sips of beer, "He wants to die, Téa."
She turned to him, her eyes full of knowledge. "He told you that? Tonight?"
"Yes, mas o menos. Are you surprised?"
"No. I was hoping he hadn't made up his mind. I spent all night and much of today trying to change what I thought I was hearing. I failed."
Rico looked at Téa, eyes downcast after a second. "He was happy to be with you last night. He came to our room and he was yours." Real tears welled, in remembered pain. The lovemaking after that, he kept to himself. She did not need to know what they did, why, that he had said goodbye to Rico by coming inside of him. She did not need to know that her Todd had said more than once he loved Rico. He knew it didn't change how he felt about Téa. Rico shivered and quelled a rush of sorrow he suspected would never leave him.
Téa slammed down the glass of water. "God damn it."
"Can we stop him?"
"Stop him from wanting a deadly retribution against Caro and his workers that he thinks will kill him? Or stop him from dying?"
"The second. We cannot stop the retribution."
"I have no fucking idea. I thought I could change his mind about dying. I thought his children could change his mind. No doubt you tried to change his mind, too. I won't even ask what you did to try to do that."
She sounded bitter at the end, there. Rico licked his lips, denying nothing. Just dark eyes on Téa's. "Nothing has worked then," he said.
"I think Rolon-"
She didn't finish her words because Rico kicked her. His eyes were fixed on something in the distance and Téa followed his gaze. Jesus Christ. Todd was across the courtyard…, no, no. Blanco was across the courtyard. He was leaning on the wall, a knee up with his booted foot on the concrete blocks. His hands were in his pockets. He was gazing indifferently at both Téa and Rico. He wore the same dark clothes from the night before. His shirt was open and all that dark ink showed through the break in the fabric. Téa wondered if he was high, if he had used the heroin in his pocket. He looked rough. Hair was windblown, messy. His face, while making effort to show nothing, was heavy with unexpressed emotion. It could go in many ways, Téa thought, sadness, desire, hate, love.
Mostly hate. Definitely hate.
A waitress passed by him and he grabbed her not with any tenderness, telling her something. She nodded as he gave her money. He watched her disappear inside before resuming his smoldering gaze on Téa and Rico.
Rico turned to Téa and smiled at her as he said, "Do you have any idea at all of what to do?"
She smiled in return and said simply, "I think the best thing is to abduct him and ship him back home. I will put him in a hospital for the rest of his goddamn life."
Rico laughed heartily, a relieving laugh. His head dipped and his shoulders shook deliciously, charmingly, and when he sat back up, his smile was bright and full of affection. They shared something. They shared Todd and it hurt them both but only THEY understood why they could sit here together and laugh. To love him was a deep cut into one's soul.
Téa smacked her eyes on Todd's and she did not hold back on the emotion she felt. Fury at his gall to think he could simply die in Havana and leave his family behind, whistling his way to hell.
You motherfucking selfish bastard.
He smiled as if he read her mind and licked his lower lip in a dirty way, not moving from the wall. The smile faded when the waitress came back and handed him a glass that was full of whiskey and ice. He drank it up and gave the glass back to the waitress at which point she handed him a second glass that appeared to have no ice. Nothing but liquid amber. She left. He sipped this other glass slower, occasionally eying passersby. People gave him a wide berth as they went in and out of the club. Todd looked at Rico and Téa noticed his expression shift ever so slightly at his new target. They shared a moment and then Rico turned to Téa. He brazenly caressed her cheek, complimenting her, "Eres tan hermosa. Sabes eso?"
She smiled at being called beautiful, but the smile was tempered because he'd turned on that powerful sexuality that had kept him alive since he was six. He watched her lips and he moved his thumb to trace the fullness of those lips. His own expression was full of promise. She found herself somewhat entranced by it. He was open to anything, he was saying with those eyes. Anything. He stood up and took her hand in his.
"Come dance with me once more. Please."
Téa nodded. She stood, his hand warm. The music was different. Slower. Time to say goodnight and head to bed. The two walked past Todd and he followed them with his eyes. He went inside after them. Took a table in the back of the bar. Rico pulled Téa close and they swayed to the music, a rocking that was heated, and again, promising. Rico was tall and he eyed her cleavage, her barely exposed nipples, and grinned. Whispered in her ear, "I see you, mamita." Téa felt his muscled shoulders, the strength in his holding of her. There was no question he was the lead in this dance. If people ever thought gay men were not masculine, they had their heads up their asses.
They turned and turned again and Téa found herself close to him, their faces near each other, their lips near touching. He grazed her cheek with his mouth and bit ever so gently her lip, his hand at her lower back. He held her closer to him, tenderly taking her earlobe between his teeth, his tongue wetting the skin beneath her ear.
Téa felt every touch, every murmur, between her legs and she stiffened, but he wouldn't let her go. He grinned when she gazed at him because he knew what he was doing. He knew he'd gotten to her.
Over him, as they continued to dance, Téa saw Todd. He watched them like a hawk watches prey. He sat with all that burning intensity, his chest rising and falling. The glass was empty. He shook it slowly, mindlessly. He tried to look away but he only drew back to them. Téa eyed Rico once more and he looked at her mouth and once again kissed her only now he did it with a more gusto, less coyness. He dropped his hand to her ass, giving it a squeeze before sliding down to lift her leg and bend her back, tango style. She was amazed how he held her, how secure she was. When they were up again and gliding in a sensual back and forth twisting and turning, Téa saw that Todd was up and walking towards them. Rico smiled slyly, knowing he struck a chord.
Téa felt a hard hand on her shoulder. Todd leaned close, "Come home with me. Now."
Rico laughed and pulled Téa closer to him, "What is the matter, Blanco, are you jealous? Afraid of what I am going to do to her?"
Todd was not laughing as he snapped, "You too. Get your ass out of this bar. Let's get back to Sylvia's. I'm done for the night."
"We are not done, cabrón."
Téa laughed, dizzy from the small bit of wine, the dancing, the club's close quartered air, the lateness, as if she was drunk. She kind of was. "Boys, boys," she said, "… no reason to fight." She grabbed onto Rico and gazed at those dark eyes and she wondered what his game was. She furrowed her brows but he only grinned back and gave her another hot kiss.
"Fuck you then," they both heard which made them laugh a little hysterically.
Todd was pissed.
Rico smiled like he'd accomplished something, he probably had, his eyes on Todd who threw himself back down at the table, furiously kicking an extra chair away. He brooded as Téa and Rico danced more and got closer and he drank another whiskey. Rico grabbed a lady who was walking by with free shots of rum, downing one more for the road. When the song was over, Rico grabbed Téa's hand and pulled her across the floor and out of the bar. They hit the cold air and it felt good and cleansing and Téa knocked her head back with giddy laughter, letting Rico guide her down the street.
Todd slammed out of the club like an ogre, old fashioned jealousy bubbling up inside of him, beyond any kind of control he liked to think he had. The two shits ran like butterflies, flitting along the sidewalk, free and happy, holding hands like children. He should be glad they are friends, he should be thankful they'll not be alone when he's gone. He should be fucking delirious that they can glean joy out of this dark space they lived in and isn't that one of the very things he loved about Rico? But he breathed hard and his stomach churned with ancient hate at being made a fool of in front of all those unknown people, not that he cared, but there it was anyway.
Fuck you both.
Rico turned as he walked and grinned sexily as he called out to his angry lover, "What is the matter, my lion?! Are you afraid she'll come harder with me than with you?"
Todd frowned harder and his whole body screamed of hate as he kept up his limping, threatening walk. Téa gave a punishing glare at Rico. Hissed, "What are you doing?"
"Isn't it obvious? I am using US to keep him HERE. What do we have to lose?"
Téa gazed down the block at the fuming drunken Todd. He seemed to not know where to direct his upset. Téa for going along with this, for letting Rico paw at her, or Rico for being the aggressor. Fact is, she wasn't sure who he was more jealous over and that stung a little. She really… could not tell.
Rico turned back, pulling Téa by the hand, tearing through the dark neighborhoods of Old Havana. They passed by Rico's old brothel and he pointed it out to Téa and she saw lights in the windows and found it hard to imagine him working there as a young boy. She squeezed his hand. He smiled as if he'd just shown her his old schoolhouse. In minutes they were at Sylvia's place.
Rico unlocked the door and shoved the key back into his pocket and pulled Téa inside, the door shutting quietly. No Abram came so Raquel must have taken him home with her. He was glad for it.
"Rico!" Téa yelped, stopping the mad drive up the stairs. Still holding Rico's hand she looked serious, as much as she could muster through her emotional drunkenness. "It'll only make things worse. Sex isn't the way. We've tried it, remember? Got us nowhere."
Rico looked pensive a moment and Téa realized he wasn't in complete agreement with her and she thought jealous thoughts but then he turned back around, heading up the stairs once more, snapping, "Then what the fuck does it matter? He is dying anyway."
"Rico…" Téa wasn't following him up.
He flew back around and shouted, "Téa... quiere morir! Do you understand this? The certainty of it? He is NOT asking, he is TELLING."
Téa bit out a sharp, "I know."
"Then we try EVERYTHING."
Todd yanked the door open and stood in the doorway like a goddamn pitbull, breathless fury rolling off him. "The fff...uck?" He growled, shaking mad.
Téa cursed under her breath, not sure of the rightness of Rico's intentions despite his efforts to convince her otherwise. He looked beyond Téa to Todd, not showing spite or jealousy, but rather a deep compassion and the return look from Todd was one of real woundedness, confusion. Sorrow draped Rico's features and he turned, pulling Téa up the stairs. She went along because Rico was right. They had to try.
"Come," he said. "Come."
Soon they were in the bedroom and Rico was standing in front of her and he smiled warmly, willingly. He said, "This is not only for him. You are beautiful, sensuous. I want to feel what he feels. I want to touch what he touches. Do you understand?"
Téa was moved and pained all the same. It was a breathtaking show of love and of deprivation. Rico obviously believed he would never know what Todd and Téa had together. He believed he was the outsider. She wasn't sure he was right. "Rico," she said softly, wanting to enlighten him on her outsider status to THEM but he cut her off, holding her, breathing in her scents and delicately kissing her neck. She could not help but move to accommodate him. She could not say no. They had to try. The door opened and Todd looked to be on the verge of either tears, or rage. Téa reached for him, her eyes on him.
"He feels so good," she said, as if that explained everything.
Rico ran his hand down her body, hooking her knee so she could wrap her leg around him and he could bring her hips closer to his. Through her thin dress, he kneaded her feminine rump then kissed her deeply, tasting the night air and the remnants of alcohol. Téa lost herself in that kiss, feeling fingers slipping through her hair, roaming the rest of her. She let herself forget who Rico was, forget she was a millionth person to kiss him, forget he was Todd's lover and she was Todd's wife. He kissed her breasts through her dress, her head pitching back, her lips parting in the thrall of his tender caresses. She touched his dark locks and pressed his slender hard body to her.
Todd had long stopped moving towards them, statuesque in his voyeurism. The whiskey had gone to his head quickly on his empty stomach, the drunk adding to the heroin in his blood. Oh yes, oh yes, he had snorted that stuff up on the road. A good fucking dose of it to let him forget Caro for just a while. To take the edge off dying and leaving people. He had blown the rest of it into the air and tossed the package in the shrubbery and had stood still in the wet air as the heroin shot into his brain and numbed him to everything. He had shuddered in the bliss of forgetting.
And now he watched Rico move his head as he kissed Téa's breasts and watched her enjoy the pure pleasure of it. There was a high moon in the sky and the white light poured in through an open window, the clouds having cleared. The light lit both of them and they were perfectly beautiful in their movements, like angels, he thought. His heart broke a little, again, his destiny screaming for him in the distance. Maybe the two were supposed to find each other, maybe, as he thought, they would need each other and this only cemented the feasibility of it. He was stuck in the doorway, not able to decide whether to come or go.
He did not know his place here.
Rico gently lowered Téa to the bed and crawled on top of her. He moved in between her legs and she parted her thighs for him, letting him nestle there, her legs snaking his ass. He rocked against her, slow as their last salsa dance. Her arms languidly stretched back on the bed, giving herself up to him. He pulled down the neck of her dress, already low, and fully exposed her breasts. He latched onto her, suckling one nipple while stroking the other and she sighed, arching her back. She touched him, her fingers closing in on his arms, shoulders, his back. She squeezed his muscled backside and he moaned softly, thrusting harder against her.
She carefully slipped her ballet slipper-style shoes off, using the edge of the mattress. The shoes fell to the floor, one at a time. Todd watched them drop and he was more confused than ever. He slid down the doorjamb, down to the floor, and watched them some more. He listened to their breaths and sighs. He felt like a ghost. Unreal. Unalive. Disconnected from his own body. He watched as Rico reached in between their bodies and worked his buttons. They murmured to each other, directions maybe, romantic words maybe. He did not know. Grief burst to life once again, his determination to end Caro tearing through him. He imagined the explosion and wondered what it would feel like. Would it hurt? Would it be too fast to hurt? And suddenly he knew, the feel of retribution would never match that of love, acceptance, safety...
Home.
Love is right now. Love is when all the shit goes away. Only with you could I forget who I was. That's what you did for me. You always made me forget. Just for a little while.
He held his head in his hands and he thought that maybe he was dying right now, once more. Yet another death in a row of deaths. He felt a light touch on his shoulder and turned to it. Téa was next to him, her fingertips on him, butterfly touches. He glanced up at her, all the hurt of his night on his face.
"I have to go," he said. "I'll leave you with him."
"Come to bed."
"I don't belong here, Delgado, not anymore."
She dropped down to him and smiled, her eyes moist and open. His Delgado.
"Come," she said, taking his hand. She rose to her feet and then so did he. Rico was on the bed, lying back with one knee up, buttons undone on his jeans, the small shock of pubic hair exposed. Shirt off. He smiled and licked his lips. He reached for Todd and Todd shook his head, no, no…
"Come to bed, mí león," Rico said in that low melodic voice.
Téa held him from behind and nuzzled his back. Her dress was unzipped and slipping down. She pressed her hands against his belly and he ached at her touch. Rico got to his knees and started to kiss Todd on the mouth but he turned, trying to not kiss back, but Rico kept at it, nudging, caressing Todd's face, and soon Todd gave in. Their tongues touched and it went through Todd, right to his cock and he grabbed himself as if to stop the sensation. He knew he trembled like a fucking virgin and he heard a growl that didn't sound human come from deep in his throat. Téa kissed his back and began lifting his shirt. He reached back and held her ass, pressing her tight to him.
"It's okay," she said. "Don't be afraid."
He turned all the way around at her voice and she kissed him, her mouth sensual and hot, her tongue reaching for his. She held his face between her hands. Rico was behind him now and nuzzled at his back now, caressing his chest, gently thumping his hips against Todd's ass, slowly, deliberately. He was hard and he panted near Todd's ear, kissing his neck, lapping at the salt. He took Todd's shirt off, dropping it to the floor, kissing his bare shoulder.
Téa let her dress fall and she shivered in the cool air.
Todd broke the kiss and asked Téa, "What is this? I don't-"
"Because I wasn't enough, and he wasn't enough. Maybe you need both of us to understand why you have to stay HERE." Her eyes watered and he shook his head, another no, and she kissed his eyelids, his cheeks, his lips.
"Amor," she cried softly, "I want you home. I want you alive. WE want you alive."
He knew then that Rico had told her of the certainty of his plans, that he absolutely wouldn't survive what was going to happen because he had no intention of walking away from that blown-up house. What they did not know was that there was only one day left. He groaned, maybe whimpered, as Rico reached down and caressed his crotch, reaching further to massage his balls. Téa pushed Todd back, urging him onto the bed. He let himself be moved and Téa straddled his lap. He kissed her breasts now, holding her by her ass, still unsure, sorrowful. It wouldn't work, he wanted to say. The end HAD to happen.
"You were enough, Téa," he whispered. "You are always enough."
How could he explain it was his brokenness that did not let anyone be enough?
Rico had moved out of the way and Téa pushed Todd the rest of way, so he was on his back. He grabbed her by the waist and bore her down on his hips, getting her to rock on him. He moaned softly at it and she bent down to kiss him. But after doing so, she was on her knees and making him touch her breasts as she moved just above his clothed and hardening cock. Not enough pressure to relieve him, more than enough to torture him. She wore no bra, her breasts full and puckered. She looked down at him and he felt that overpowering love she brought him and he was up, holding her and mouthing her breasts, as if he could feed from her, as if he could live on that.
All the while Rico had been on his side and simply watching, caressing both of their bodies, any skin he could reach. His hands were warm and skilled and he set them both further on fire. Téa turned to him as Todd suckled at her, urging him towards her so she could kiss him. She did and he tasted sweet like the rum he'd been drinking all night. Their tongues met and his was different from Todd's, softer, gentler. He kissed her deeply but then he moved to Todd and kissed him hard, harder, Téa could tell. And Todd gasped at it, falling back at the strength in Rico, a strength Téa understood he reserved for men. It was something to see Todd give in to a man. It was... terribly sexy, terribly unfamiliar. He was terribly vulnerable as he tried to push Rico away while closing his eyes and falling back. Téa felt his legs strain as he dug a heel on the floor, his pelvis lifting into her.
It cut her and wetted her, just the same.
Téa rolled her panties down at that, tossing them to the side. She was bare and silky and her skin was white in the moonlight. She unbuttoned Todd's jeans. He was hard now but he stopped her a moment and she smiled at him, all that love there in her eyes, all that trust and fearlessness he loved so much, and he let her go then. She exposed him further and she settled onto him, slowly, slowly, her head tipped back, her eyes closed. She murmured,"Oh my god, you feel so good," as she sank onto him. He groaned at the same time, at the wet feel of her. the intense heat. Rico watched the joining and grabbed his own cock, turned on the sight of it, moving closer to Todd.
He breathed, "Mí león, mí león… I'm so hard now, you are so beautiful."
Todd turned his head and touched Rico's face, his own mouth parted in the agonizing ecstasy of Téa moving on his cock. He reached down and wiggled out of his jeans. He reached further and pushed his boots off. He was naked now, dreamy-eyed, high on the confusion, on the pain of everything, on love, on dope and drink, high on the three of them. He'd sworn he'd never do this again, swore it several times over, but he was hot with what was happening. He was lying back again and Rico kissed him furiously as Téa moved up and down, caressing her breasts, pressing them. She didn't have to do that long because Todd reached up and held her in his hand, massaging her nipple, rolling it between his thumb and finger. He moved to her other breast and Téa tilted her head back, shuddering with intense excitement as she rode him.
Rico had pulled off his own jeans and boots and placed his cock in Todd's free hand. He lay on his side and let Todd stroke him, moving his hips into Todd's closed hand. He held onto his lion and moved and felt Téa's knee against his chest as she continued to rock on Todd's flesh that Todd kept deep inside of her. He sucked hard at Todd's shoulder and massaged his chest, flicking his sensitive nipples. He too was caught up in the sexual high of everything. He watched Téa's swaying breasts and touched her. He touched her swollen belly, smoothing her tight skin. She looked down and held Todd's hand to one breast and Rico's hand to her other. Their touches were different but her nipples didn't care, she didn't care. She moaned at all of it, especially at the knowing way Todd pumped Rico's cock.
Téa then pulled off Todd and moved up because she wanted his mouth on her now. She carefully placed her knees above Todd's shoulders, legs tucked under his arms, and lowered herself onto his mouth. He grabbed her ass, fingers slipping into her moistened crack, and urged her to move on him. He sucked her vulva, rolling the petals of her core with his tongue. Round and round he went and she panted noisily and pressed her breasts. Behind her, Rico climbed on Todd, straddling him, and rubbed his cock against Todd's. Todd now groaned at the sensation and he grabbed Rico's thigh. Rico spit on their cocks and Todd thrust upwards again and again, grunting hard. Téa began to move a little faster on Todd's mouth, the noise he was making reverberating through her and she turned to look at Rico behind her and he kissed her passionately, emotion pouring out of him into her through his perfect mouth. He held her as he rocked on Todd's cock before reaching down to stroke his and Todd's dicks together, their juices seeping and making them even slicker.
Téa reached down behind her and stroked both of them, too, and Todd again groaned into her core and that did it, that triggered her to orgasm. She gasped and slammed her hands forward on the mattress to hold herself up as she pumped hard on his mouth, rocking her hips, rubbing her parts on his tongue and lips. He squeezed her ass and she called his name as she came, "Todd," adding breathlessly, "I love you, I love you, oh god..."
And the words hit him like a goddamn baseball bat and he wanted to be inside of her. So he moved to do just that, Rico and Téa both rolling off him as he grabbed Téa and lay her on her back. He got on top of her and she pulled her knees far back, opening wide like a flower, and he entered her fast. The force of it got her to cry out and he moved quickly, sliding in and out, the softness of her making him almost weep with love, with familiarity. He said, "I love you, Téa…" as he kissed her over and over and fucked her the way he loved to fuck her. Hard hands loved her breasts and sides and back as he kissed her, kissing and touching her until she couldn't breathe. And in that space it was just the two of them and she felt what she always felt - that no matter his madness, he was hers, and she was his, always.
He soon rolled her over so she was on top and he could watch her. He bounced her by her hips so she was fucking him hard the way he liked. He was raw this way, shaking with need and a drive to come. Rico lay next to him, eyes on her, too, mouth parted and stroking himself. She bore down to slow the fucking and Todd groaned painfully at the sudden stop, making her smile. She leaned down, pressing tight to Todd, and said in his ear, "Let him inside of me. I want you both inside of me."
Todd laughed compulsively, but then didn't, because she rose up and went down on him, slowly, again and again, and God, he was going to come if she kept that up. He just couldn't quite get what she was saying. But he saw Téa turn to Rico and heard her say, "I want you," Rico moving behind her, his legs on the outside of Todd's, straddling him.
Then he felt Rico's cock touch his.
Eyes flew open as he now knew what Téa meant. She grunted softly as Rico adjusted himself, from behind her, as he tried to enter her. It would be tight, so tight. "It's okay," she rasped, "Go more, go more…" She spread her legs and lifted her ass to help Rico push in deeper. He slid further in and then out and then in again, deeper once more, forcing a gasp from her. Todd groaned at the feel of Rico sliding on his cock while inside Téa. Rico pulled out a little and Téa huffed when he pushed in again, deeper still. Todd grunted achingly, a long sound that crystallized into an agonized, "Oh my fucking god." The sensation for him, for both men, was wildly intense.
Téa moaned at the painful stretching the two of them caused, "Oh my god, oh GOD." She was so full of them now, so restrained in between these two strong men, so pulled apart, her body shook with a hurt that made her cry and yet… it was a hurt that seemed right and real and felt as desperate as her heart felt. She buried her head in Todd's arched neck and Rico grunted rhythmically as he moved out and then back in. She cried out at the hurt but she wanted it because it was just a shadow of the pain these two men had suffered since they were young. She had long wondered what they must have felt at those violations and now she thought maybe she had the slightest hint of it. She hid her tears and panted at letting them both in, reminded of the stretching of childbirth, moved deeply, a kind of madness coming to her at such awareness of what this WAS.
Rico was high on the feel of her, too. She was tight this way, the way he was used to, only different, more, the closeness to Todd sending a spike of mad lust through him every time he slipped past the ridges of Todd's cock. He ached for both of them, he ached with the hope this would keep his lover here. He knew he was going to come like this and he rubbed his face against Téa's moist skin, whispering in Spanish, "My beautiful angel."
The two men moved in unison, Téa the steady vessel, the rhythm slow and torturous. Todd rocked back and shut his eyes because the sensations of them were too strong, too much, and he knew the friction was too focused. He made Rico stop a moment and he felt Téa shaking. He worried and she huffed, "It's okay, don't stop… don't stop…" He was close to coming and worked to control the orgasm, to halt it's blinding approach. He breathed and caressed Téa, eased her. He lay still until he felt her muscles relax. When he thrust again, up inside of her, Téa gasped and Rico called out, "Dios, mís amores… dios, dios…"
The impulse to push on took over though and the gentle rocking began again. He held Rico's legs, feeling them flex at his slow dance, and returned his eyes to Téa. She was flushed and covered in a dewy sheen and he hugged her to him, tight, tight, and she kissed him on the neck and breathed in his ear, "Come inside of me." How could she do this, how could she not see the fucked-up-ness of it all? He bit his lip to stop the dark thoughts, but then his body took over and all he could feel was the weight of Téa and Rico pressing down on him, the mixing sweat of their hot bodies, and the slickness of Rico's cock and Téa's core as the two moved on his flesh. He thrust in and out, again and again, and soon the oceanic noise of it brought him nearer to his end once again.
"I'm gonna come," he choked, "Oh fuck, Téa…" She clapped her mouth to his and he grunted into her, his whole body jerking at the intense come. He tore from her, huffing, "God, fucking, GOD…," his hands hard on her waist and hips. Rico whimpered behind her because he felt Todd throbbing and ejaculate into Téa. He couldn't stop now and he pumped fast, sliding in and out of Téa, his body pressed on her back. She cried out at the depth of the two men, an orgasm wracking her that she hadn't made happen, that was inexorably tied to the pain. The thing had come on in the face of the pain, despite the pain, because of the pain, and she bit down on Todd's shoulder, harder than she meant to, and he jerked at that and huffed, "Stop, stop, stop, stop…". She released him and hid once again in his neck, her mouth pressing down on his skin to silence her scream as Rico slammed into her one last time, as he shuddered violently against her ass, cursing in Spanish, crying out, too, coming and coming, the waves never seeming to end for him. He fucked her more, feeling Todd's still-hard cock and the great wetness inside Téa, both of them held by her body until he was empty, spent.
The three collapsed against each other, untangling themselves only after it seemed there was nothing left of them. And Todd lay in a near-stupor with Rico on one side of him and Téa on the other. The two squeezed him tight and for the briefest of instants he was reminded of being in the psych hospital, tied to the bed, arms wrapped, legs wrapped, tight, tight, to keep him safe and he remembered that it was the one time being strapped down brought a peacefulness to him.
He fought a rush of emotion and he looked at Téa, her eyes wet and aggrieved and full of love. The relief at the two men being out of her was palpable and he whispered, "You're fucking out of your mind," and she nodded and kissed him lightly. But he got it. She had given them both something unmatched. She'd taken them both inside of her because they WERE inside of her. Her ability to love him was endless. She eyed him, not needing to say the words.
I love you beyond myself, Mr. Manning.
He did not know what to fucking do NOW. Another thing had broken inside of him.
"Téa…"
She held the side of his face and looked at him and she could see the bottomless sorrow in his eyes.
"Baby," she whispered. "Let me keep you here. Your retribution is not worth what you're losing. What we are losing."
He could hear in his head, over and over, the words, no fucking choice. But in this second, looking into her eyes right now, he wasn't sure if that was true or not. He turned to Rico who kissed him and said, "We will figure another way, Blanco." He smiled just a little at Todd and his eyes watered suddenly.
Todd sighed, caressing Rico's head absent-mindedly as he watched the moon through the window, as he watched the clouds roll across its scooped and dusted face. He searched the sky for stars and saw only a few…
To be continued...
