The party seemed more subdued after that. Karkat was lying on the couch, John and his crew were sitting at the kitchen table, Sollux and Feferi were nowhere to be found, and Gamzee was outside smoking, with everyone else scattered off in small groups, so Vriska found it a bit difficult to get Tav's words out of her mind. And then they just watched a movie, and Vriska found the whole thing so predictable and boring that she couldn't even focus on it (or maybe it was because she was paying more attention to John's face), so naturally she got introspective. Was she really as bad a person as people thought she was? Was it really wrong of her to paralyze Tavros? She never meant to hurt him so bad, but she definitely meant to push him down the stairs. Even when she was a kid, she kind of did fucked up things. Like back when Aradia's mom died, she was the one who gave Sollux the ouija board, and according to him, that was when he and Aradia started having all those weird thoughts about death and 'hearing voices', and Vriska didn't fully understand the implications of that, or even if it was true, but they were certainly fucked in the head, and she had given it to him with the hopes that some kind of creepy shit would happen to them. Was it wrong that even when she was, like, 8, she had this sort of anger, and took these scheming actions to hurt people that were supposed to be her friends? She never meant for things to be as bad as they turned out to be, but she didn't really hold a lot of remorse for it either. And then there was what had probably turned out to be the worst mistake Vriska made as a kid, and that was blinding Terezi out of petty anger. Even though she'd felt like Terezi deserved it at the time. It was a retort to the whole arm thing, but even that was just a retort to the Tavros thing. God, Vriska hated the whole situation regarding her prosthetic arm. Sure, it worked, but it only worked half as well as it did because of Equius. Vriska remembered the day of the accident very well.
Vriska and Terezi were spending the afternoon in Terezi's treehouse. It was just as they were finishing seventh grade, not too long after Tavros' accident. He was still out of school recovering as much as he could, even, and he'd told Vriska it wasn't her fault and he wasn't going to tell anyone, but Vriska kind of knew she was responsible, and some of the other friends were blaming her as well. But Vriska never imagined Terezi would turn her back on her, so she didn't think twice about the invitation to hang out. Terezi's house was always more pleasant than Vriska's anyway. So they climbed up to the treehouse.
"Ugh, I can't believe we haven't played D&D in like, a month and a half," Vriska complained. "Why'd you have to cancel all the sessions?"
"Because one of our players is in the hospital?"
"He could call in; it would be fine." Terezi looked away from Vriska. "Or we could be doing one-offs."
"I just feel bad for him; he wouldn't say anything but I just know he'd be bummed out if we kept playing without him." Though Vriska wouldn't admit it, she was only complaining about it because she missed having Tavros around. She was starting to think they might be more than just friends.
"When is he supposed to be back, anyway?"
"Dunno, you talk to him more than I do," Terezi said, her voice sounding grave. Vriska felt a surge of confusion as Terezi paced around the treehouse a bit. "Funny how that is. You were there when he fell."
"Yeah… it was… kind of brutal."
"I just never thought you liked Tavros that much; why is it you're talking to him more that he's in the hospital? Could it be that you have a guilty conscience?" Terezi said, looking up at Terezi. "Or is it that you want to get closer now that you and Eridan broke up? Or some kind of combination?"
Vriska's eyes widened. She understood why Terezi wanted to hang out; she was trying to come up with some truth of the matter. And now, she was blocking the exit. All Vriska wanted to do was get out; she didn't want to be interrogated; she didn't want to sit there and explain. "Vriska, something happened after everyone else left, and no matter what Tavros says, I don't believe it was an accident. I think your temper got the better of you; I think you pushed Tavros down the stairs, because you were angry or frustrated, because you like him more than you liked Eridan. That's why you cut Eridan loose. That's why you're talking to Tavros more."
"It's not like that, Ter, come on."
"Then what happened? He won't tell me anything besides 'I fell', and we all know that's a load of shit."
"So? I was there too, he fell!"
"I think he's covering for you, because he's too nice, and too confused about his feelings."
"I- I-"
"Tell me, Vriska, did you push Tavros down the stairs?!"
Vriska did the only thing she could think of alternative to answering the question; she went out the window of the treehouse, trying to make her way down the branches. Terezi stuck her head out the window as Vriska wobbled on the branch, just out of reach. She examined the tree; she was way too high off the ground to make a jump for it. There was another branch a bit out of reach. "Vriska!" Vriska slid down the branch she was on, until she was holding on with both hands rather than standing up, and she heard a crack.
"Oh shit," she muttered, sidling back towards the treehouse. "Ter, pull me back in."
"Did you push him?" Terezi insisted, demanding an answer.
"Ter! Pull me in!"
"Only if you tell me the truth!"
"Okay, fine, I-"
The branch snapped. Vriska tumbled down, crashing into another branch on the way down and collapsing on Terezi's back lawn. There was a huge amount of pain in her upper arm, and her left eye was bleeding profusely. The rest of the afternoon was hazy. Vriska remembered Mrs. Pyrope getting her into the car and to the hospital, and some doctors looking over her. Turns out during the fall she pretty much gouged her eye out, and had gotten a rather large portion of the branch impaling her shoulder. They ended up taking her arm off to decrease the risk of sepsis, since it wasn't as if the tree was very clean. After a point, Vriska's mom showed up, and they offered the option of a glass eye, so Vriska could at least look like a normal human being, but her mother's response was, "No, we don't need it. Maybe it'll teach her some kind of lesson." It was at that point in her life that Vriska truly began to understand how cruel her mother actually was, and when she stopped caring nearly as much about the consequences of her actions. Maybe if she pushed her friends more, they'd get tougher. Especially Tavros. He was such a pushover. She would teach him to stand up for himself.
It hadn't even been two years, and Vriska hadn't exactly been soft before then, either, but she became especially guarded about her romantic feelings, since Terezi had been able to read her so easily. So the reason she let herself feel disappointed when John and his crew left early was something of a mystery. Vriska pushed all these thought out of her head as she went to sleep that night.
Latula came to pick up Vriska and Terezi in the morning, Vriska trying not to think about all the heavy bits of conversation that had happened the night before. But of course Terezi had to say something.
"So what were you talking to Tavros about?" she asked. Vriska sat up a bit more.
"Huh?"
"Last night. You two went into the front. What were you talking to him about?"
"Oh," Vriska said, then she laughed a bit. She thought Terezi wanted to ask her about feelings or some junk. But the whole thing with Tavros was laughable; kind of funny, the way he tried to tell her what to do. "So get this; that whole thing? Was rigged." Vriska had no qualms about telling Terezi; they were best friends; they both sort of enjoyed messing with people. So Terezi's expression of surprise wasn't exactly what Vriska had expected. She kept talking, thinking she could explain it away. "Equius asked me if I could help get him a chance with Aradia, and I kinda owed him a favor for the whole… you know. Arm thing. So I kinda cheated."
Terezi was quiet for a moment. "Wait, so you made it so those two were in there on purpose? And Tavros was… what, calling you out?"
"Heh, yeah. Thinks he has some kind of authority over me or something."
"Well he was right to call you out, you know."
Vriska scoffed. "You can't seriously tell me you're on his side with this."
"Yes! I am! Vriska, you can't keep messing with peoples' emotions like this. You wonder why none of our friends like you, it's because you pull this kind of shit constantly. And I've tried so hard to defend you, to justify your actions so I don't feel guilty about defending you, and the more I think about things, the more I think I'm kind of done with you. Karkat tried to tell me for so long, but I didn't get it. But he's right. You're danferous, and I think I'm done."
Vriska was dumbfounded for a moment, the three girls all silent as Latula pulled into Vriska's driveway. Then, Vriska got angry. How could Terezi betray her like that? "You know what, Terezi? Fine. If you don't think I'm tolerable, or worth being around, or whatever, then FINE. I don't need to be a good person and I don't need you to think that I'm 'worth defending'. Terezi says I'm morally corrupt and a bad influence so it must be true! Fiiiiiiiine! I'm done too!" Vriska grabbed her stuff and stormed off, slamming the car door behind her.
