A/N: Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel, Disney, ABC or the Avengers.
Russian translation is at the end of the chapter.
Songs used in this chapter are Human by Christina Perri and Dust To Dust by The Civil Wars.
As Wanda's message finished, I sighed, "Record."
"I trust them. They have been nothing but kind to me, when they don't even know who I am. They try to understand me, but I know that it's hard to see what I'm going through. But Wanda, don't hurt yourself. My life is not worth you getting hurt. Or overusing your powers. We can figure this out. Just keep me updated on Jane's findings. No offense to my father, but I trust an Astrophysicist more with creating a Einstein-Rosen Bridge between dimensions." I joked before ending the recording.
"One more ARSENAL," I said, looking blankly ahead.
"Who shall I address this to?"
"To either of my husbands to play to Elijah, if he can't fall asleep." I said.
Каждуюночь вы услышите ее , напевают
Русская колыбельная
Просто немного жалобно мелодия
Когда ребенок начинает плакать
Рок - а- до свидания мой ребенок
Где-то там , может быть
Земля это бесплатно для вас и меня
И Русская колыбельная.
As the recording ended, I sighed, closing my eyes as I held back my tears. I would hold it back until I was truly alone. Tony was busy puttering away in the corner, not speaking to me because I brought Pepper into this. Well, to be fair, I brought her here to help the both of them. But I instead, I brought a giant clusterfuck, because as soon as Tony saw Pepper, he hid himself away in the lab, ashamed of everything he's done.
I explained to Pepper the seriousness of the coming battle for the Earth and the universe, and that it wasn't to be laughed at. She of course was still skeptical, but I asked when the concept of aliens became a reality to her, to which she supplied, "New York."
"There is not just one species of alien. To the rest of the universe, we are alien."
I went on to explain how powerful this guy will be if he has all five Infinity stones and Thor cut in to explain them to Pepper.
But, back to the present, where I currently wanted the comforting arms of my husbands, or my father.
And none for Gretchen Wieners.
So, instead of sulking around people that had no idea what I was going through, I checked in on my daughter quickly, before finding the empty gym. Stretching, and releasing the built of tension in my shoulders, I decided on a song, and asked Friday to play it, but cut the music if anyone entered the gym.
Rolling my head and curling into a ball on the floor, I started.
I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I can stay awake for days
If that's what you want
Be your number one
I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part
If that's what you ask
Give you all I am
I can do it
I can do it
I can do it
But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human
I can turn it on
Be a good machine
I can hold the weight of worlds
If that's what you need
Be your everything
I can do it
I can do it
I'll get through it
But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human
I'm only human
I'm only human
Just a little human
I can take so much
'Til I've had enough
'Cause I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human
As I collapsed on the floor, hugging my knees to my chest, trying to quiet my pain in my chest was too great to stop, and I succumbed to my depressive state, crying and slowly losing hope.
"Sera?" I heard softly called, and I tried to hide myself further.
"Are you alright?" Bucky's voice asked tentatively.
"No. I'm not." I sobbed, wiping my eyes furiously.
"Can I help?" He asked, looking uncomfortable.
"No, no one can. I'm on an alien dimension to my own, alone. No one here understands how I feel right now. They put on sympathetic faces, but they will never understand."
"And how is that?" He asked, sitting next to me on the floor.
"Everyone I know and love, you all look like them. So imagine being somewhere where people look familiar, but they are strangers. All I want is a hug from my husbands, but I look at you and Steve and feel my heart breaking all over again. I may never get home. I may be stuck in a never ending loop of disappointment and heartbreak." I said, getting quieter. Bucky didn't say anything, and I could practically hear the gears turning in his head, as he thought about my words.
"What's something you and… the other Bucky would do?" He whispered, looking off into the distance.
"I'd sing to him, as he held me. We'd take long walks, sometimes just talk or watch TV he hadn't seen yet. I had just convinced him to come horseback riding with me. But mainly, we'd dance." I blushed, remembering what all that dancing usually led to.
"Well," He said, getting up, "May I?"
I sniffed, and looked up, to see his hand extended towards me, asking if he could help me up. I wiped my eyes again, wiping my tear soaked hands on my pants and then placed it in his open one.
"You choose the song," He suggested, "I don't know good songs right now."
I nodded, picking one off of my playlist, and asked Friday to play it in the speakers, like she had with my dance song. As the gentle plucking came through, I sighed, and turned. He gave me his hand again, but instead of taking my other hand, he instantly twirled me around, and then into his chest.
It's not your eyes
It's not what you say
It's not your laughter
That gives you away
You're just lonely
You've been lonely too long
All your acting, your thin disguise
All your perfectly delivered lines
They don't fool me
You've been lonely too long
My heart was beating out of my chest, because I felt so safe in his arms. The beat of his heart was soothing to my frayed nerves, and his hand on the small of my back was his metal one. He didn't trust himself to hold my hand with it. Or he was left-handed in this universe. Either way, he felt like my Bucky, and it confused me to a degree.
Let me in the walls
You've built around
We can light a match
And burn them down
Let me hold your hand
And dance 'round and 'round the flames
In front of us
Dust to dust
"Don't fight, just accept my comfort," He whispered gently, as he realized I hadn't relaxed fully.
"I just miss them," I said, crying again. He didn't say anything, but rubbed my back gently.
You've held your head up
You've fought the fight
You bear the scars
You've done your time
Listen to me
You've been lonely too long
Let me in the walls
You've built around
We can light a match
And burn them down
Let me hold your hand
And dance 'round and 'round the flames
In front of us
Dust to dust
"How can you be so wonderful to me? You don't even know me."
You're like a mirror, reflecting me
Takes one to know one, so take it from me
You've been lonely
You've been lonely too long
We've been lonely
We've been lonely too long
"Because, in another life, I could have loved you. In another life, I do. So, I owe it to that version of myself, to watch over the woman he loves. And make sure she doesn't lose hope. Comfort her the way he would." He said, giving a small smile.
"Another? Please?" I sobbed. He nodded, as the music for another song started. He held me close for another two songs, until my crying had dissolved into the occasional sniffle. And when the music stopped, he sat me down and held me.
Russian translation of the song used at beginning of the chapter:
Ev'ry night you'll hear her croon
A Russian lullaby
Just a little plaintive tune
When baby starts to cry
Rock-a-bye my baby
Somewhere there may be
A land that's free for you and me
And a Russian lullaby
