A/N: I found this on my Google Drive in a document with the drabble "Guilt" from chapter 7 and realised I'd never actually published it.


It's his eyes that give him away.

That unfocused look, the shadows beneath, so dark, so deep, they make his eyes look sunken.

He stares but he doesn't see.

And his mouth, it runs of its own accord. Mindless prattle, on and on, words blending into each other, nonsensical and insignificant, talking for the sake of talking.

He thinks that if he keeps talking he can fool him.

He can't.

Hunter knows all the signs. He doesn't need to smell the alcohol on his breath or find the empty pill bottle buried in the trash. He doesn't have to see the way he stumbles when he walks, struggling to coordinate one foot in front of the other.

He doesn't need to see any of that.

He just has to look in Shawn's eyes and they tell him everything he needs to know.

That right now, at this very moment, Shawn chooses addiction over everything else.

Over him.

A multitude of emotion battles for supremacy within him, hurt, anxiety, rage and self-doubt.

Not for the first time, he wonders if he's to blame. Curses himself for not preventing it, for not being good enough, for not being able to wave the magic wand and set Shawn's demons free.

He wants to scream at him, why hanging from his lips, muted by the sorrow he's choking on. He can barely breathe through the grief, feels smothered beneath the weight of this burden.

Shawn's burden.

The one he refuses to admit to, the one they all end up carrying. The one that's tearing them apart.

The one Hunter's not sure he can help carry any more.

Guilt flares through him like a flame, kindled by a self-deprecating blame, a sick and twisted knot of confusion within him, burning, bleeding, aching.

He wants to be free. To surmount this agony, but instead, he remains, sympathy beating through him, a gentle underscore beneath the rage, a spark of compassion, a need to save.

Shackled by his love.

He can't leave him.

Shawn needs him.

And so he sits, silence roaring in his ears, with the tension heavy around him as he waits.

Waits for the storm to pass. For him to sober.

Waits for Shawn to come back.