Telephone

Every night, without fail, right before he turned on his T.V. to the Sci-Fi channel, Freddie called Sam on the telephone.

This was an unspoken tradition between the two.

Freddie initiated the call.

Sam told him that it had better be good because she was just sitting down to her eighth Fat Cake of the day.

Freddie would tell her that those things were filled with artificial colors and flavors, and would probably clog her arteries.

Sam would tell him the shut his mouth before she wired it shut herself.

Freddie would call her a demon, which would lead Sam to call him a nub.

Freddie would then laugh smugly and say that he was her nub, though.

Sam would say that he'd better believe it.

Freddie would tell Sam that he loved her.

Sam would pretend to gag and call him an over-emotional wreck.

Freddie would not even bat and eye, and would proceed to tell her that he couldn't wait for their date that weekend.

Sam would tell him it better be a place that had meats up to her standard.

Freddie would then tell her that eating too much meat would give her high cholesterol when she was older.

Sam would tell him that she was going to punch him so hard his grandpa would feel it.

Freddie would then hear his mom yell at him to hang up before the phone gave him ear sores.

Sam would laugh and call his mom a lunatic.

Freddie would silently agree, and told Sam good night, and that he loved her.

Sam would tell him not to bother her again.

Freddie would roll his eyes as they both hung up.

Sam, only after the line was dead, would mutter that she loved him too, and then return to her Fat Cake.