Konoha's Weasel Prince
Summary: Itachi never got to use his Susanoo in his fight with Sasuke. As soon as the Kirin hit, he was sent back through time to the founder's era and it was up to him to ensure a safer and surer future for Konoha and the world at large. KisaIta TobiMada HashiMito others mentioned
Itachi rolled his eyes as son as he saw Tobirama push Madara down on the bed and pulled away from the lock. ''Should have know. It's always like that, isn't it? Suiton users, really.'' He grumbled to himself as he stood up and gestured towards Mito. ''If you would lease soundproof the room?''
Mito nodded and moved to do so even as she cast him an inquisitive look. ''Why, though?''
''Because Madara-san has very powerful lungs and I doubt we want the entire village to hear them when things get loud.''
''What?!'' Toka spluttered and Mito nearly tripped over her own feet. Izuna's mouth fell open, his jaw hitting the wooden floor while Hikaku turned an interesting shade of red. Hashirama just blinked, oblivious.
''Shouldn't we just let them out, then?''
Izuna turned to the older Senju and stared at him as though he was the stupidest person the Uchiha had ever seen. Seeing how he was interpreting this situation, that might just be the case. ''How can you be this blind?'' The Uchiha asked incredulously. ''Are you brain dead or something?''
''That's rude.'' Hashirama pouted while Toka finally recovered.
''Wait, are you seriously playing matchmaker?'' The female Senju asked equally incredulously as Izuna had asked moments ago. ''For those two? Are you nuts or something? That will never work! They can't stand each other!''
Itachi rolled his eyes at her, pointing to the door behind himself. ''Just because I am the only one who has eyes and saw that they have had eyes for each other only since Konoha was named doesn't mean I am nuts.'' Mito was probably the only one who readily accepted that Itachi had noticed something none of them had, since he had noticed her own pregnancy long before she gathered the courage to tell him and then the rest of the world. ''That was why they have been arguing so much, especially as of late. Too much UST.''
''UST?'' Hashirama asked while Hikaku got even redder. Mito just contemplated the possibilities while Izuna adn Toka were too busy making disgusted faces at each other as they imagined their older brother and younger cousin doing the dirty deed respectively.
''Unresolved Sexual Tension. In short, they have had feelings for each other which they wanted to express but didn't and some urges that come naturally after finding yourself attracted to someone just got too bad and they lashed out the only way they can, which is fighting each other so they have an excuse to get up close or physical with each other.'' The weasel explained casually, as though he was talking about the weather and not the reason behind so many of Tobirama's and Madara's issues. ''I suggest we leave them to it so they might finally resolve everything between them and finally give the rest of us some peace.''
''Wait, you mean to tell me my little brother is- is-!'' Hashirama started spluttering, his face going an interesting shade of red as he finally understood what was going on.
''Having sex?'' Izuna supplied none to helpfully, not nearly as much of a prude as Hashirama, the overgrown child, was.
''NO!'' Said man wailed an ear splitting screech that had them all putting their hands to their ears to save their poor, poor ear drums the trauma. ''No! Don't say that! No! That's wrong! My baby brother shouldn't be having sex! He's too young! Madara's corrupting him! Some friend he is! I'll kill him!'' Hashirama was really ugly when he cried, fat tears rolling down his face and even some snot coming out of his nose.
Itachi snorted and rolled his eyes aggravatingly. Seriously, he was just glad that he wans't actually born in this time. If he had had to deal with this without knowing what the reward was when it was all over and done with, Itachi would have committed a mass murder long before his thirteenth birthday, and it wouldn't have even been ordered.
''Twenty six is a perfectly alright age to have sex in, Hahsirama-san. In fact, if this is really his first time, then he is a bit late. I had sex the first time around when I was fifteen years and seven months old.'' He gave them all a very pointed look when half of them stared at him in bafflement. ''What?''
''You had a lover?'' Toka asked curiously, one of the few that weren't flabbergasted. Hahsirama and Hikaku were staring with their mouths on the ground. Izuna looked like he had enough of all of this sex talk and Mito was listening with interest.
''I have a lover. Well, I will as soon as I contact him again. I wonder if he even knows that I'm alive.'' Itachi also wonders how much time had actually passed in his own time, as it was nearing two years here in the past. If time moved parallelly here and there, then Kisame no doubt thought he was dead. Itachi couldn't help but question whether Kisame had moved on already or was still mourning. He knew it was selfish to wish that Kisame was still loyal to him so he didn't wish it, rather wanting the man happiness. It still hurt to think that he might actually one day go back to his time and Kisame will be with someone else. Itachi wouldn't even tell the blue man he was still alive if that were the case. He had no right to intrude on the other's life anymore, ever since he made the decision to stay here.
''And what was that comment you made about suiton users?'' It was Mito who asked this time and Itachi was grateful to her for distracting him. He turned away from the door and started heading towards the living room.
''Suiton and katon users tend to be attracted to each other and often end up in various stages of the specific suiton-katon relationship, raging from rivals of sorts to lovers. My own lover is a suiton user and my own nature is katon and we went through all of the stages. It took me a while but I eventually recognized the signs between Madara-san and Tobirama-san that they were in the same pickle me and my lover used to be so I decided to try and help them. I tried the subtle way the past couple of months but they kind of just annoyed me a too little tonight and I resorted to the method my kunoichi friend from the organization I worked for used on two other members of the organization, since it had been rather successful that time and those two are far worse than Madara-san and Tobirama-san. It seems to have worked yet again. Now, it is all up to Madara-san and Tobirama-san to set the parameters of their new relationship, whatever it might be.''
''Isn't it obvious what it will be?'' Izuna asked this time around, casting one last glance at the closed and locked door before following everyone else to the living room.
Toka rolled her eyes. ''Just because they had sex doesn't mean they will suddenly be all lovey dovey with each other. It doesn't mean they'll fall in love, get married and live happily ever after.''
''Except, for an Uchiha, it does.'' Hikaku finally spoke up, recovering enough to function like he normally did. "We don't take these kinds of thing easily. There's no liking with Uchihas. We love."
"And we love completely." Izuna added pointedly. He was looking away from Toka and that was all the proof Itachi needed that he'll probably need to interfere with those two, too, if they don't get their heads out of their asses and pull their heads together. "An Uchiha very rarely has a second relationship after they decide on a partner. Both a blessing and a curse of our intense emotions. I suggest you don't let that snow bunny die or else Nii-san might just go crazy."
"Please, don't call Tobirama-san a snow bunny, okay?" Itachi looked imploringly at the younger Uchiha brother, making Izuna pout but he didn't complain.
"Can I still rip Madara a new one?" Hashirama asked with a hopeful expression. The others look at him as though he were an idiot and most of them were even thinking it.
"No."
"Oh. Can I be the best man for the both of them, then?"
"What? No way! I'm Madara's best man!" Izuna snapped, glaring at the Senju.
"But I'm his best friend~!'
"I'm his brother!"
"Un fucking believable!" Toka muttered to Itachi as, for the first time ever, Hashirama and Izuna started arguing with each other. It seems that some of Izuna's younger brother jealousy towards his older brother's friend hadn't completely faded.
Fantastic.
00000
Madara woke up with a very strange feeling overtaking his entire body. It was a mixture of a pleasant soreness - but not like after a too intense workout - that was just a little bit painful (he was a shinobi, so it really was only a little bit), he felt calmer and more well rested than he had in the last couple of months and he felt ... warmly safe, if that made any sense. It was just nice, okay, and he didn't want to wake up fully. There was a very strange full body pillow that he was snuggling up to and it was giving off an incredible warmth that made the Uchiha even more reluctant to get up and face the day. Besides, with that rhythmic rocking motion it was making, even a PTSD patient would fall asleep just like a baby to a lullaby.
'Wait!' Since when did Madara have body pillows, especially ones that had rocking motions or gave off this delicious heat? The thought had his eyes snapping open in a second and he nearly froze like a deer caught in the headlights when he net a pair of content red orbs that were not that color due to the Sharingan. Madara did a quick observation of his surroundings without moving or even shifting his eyes away from the younger man, feeling as though he was the prey of a snow leopard that were the summons of this man. Finding out that he was in bed, in the arms of Senju Tobirama in his own home's guest room was not what Madara expected to discover and as the memories of last night came back, he wasn't sure if he should panic or relax. They had never talked about this and Madara wasn't exactly the best at conveying his feelings through words. He didn't even know how he could begin this conversation, let alone find a way to say what he felt and what he wanted!
And what he really wanted was for last night not to be a one time thing. But how was he supposed to tell Tobirama that if he felt so tongue tied!?
Luckily, Tobirama recognized the unease in his bedmate for what it was and tightened his hold on his lover, bringing their bodies flush together. He ignored the (undignified) squeak that left Madara's lips as he was broken out of his silent panic spell and instead just brought his lips to the older man's forehead. "Good morning." His voice was deep, rumbling and husky from sleep, although it might also be from still being buried balls deep in the other. Tobirama had no plans of moving until the other told him to. Quite honestly, he wouldn't mind a round two right about now. But he and Madara would have to have a little talk first. They needed to know where they both stood in this matter before they could move forward. "Sleep well?"
Madara felt like he should be gawking at the albino for how casual he was. It should have been awkward as hell! Yet the raven actually felt rather relaxed and content himself. All the tension had drained out of his body after last night and he couldn't be more grateful, as it had been driving him crazy. It surprised him how easy it was to just nod and grunt and furrow deeper into the solid chest before him in an effort to hide away from the sun peeking in through the window in hopes of getting in a few more minutes of wonderful, peaceful sleep. He hadn't slept this well since the death of his mother and that had been years ago.
"Hey, don't go to sleep on me now." The Senju protested, shaking his lover and ignoring the protesting whines and grunts the other released. "We need to talk about this."
"I know~!" Madara whined again, placing a sweet kiss over the other's heart as a bribe to make him possibly shut up and let a few more minutes of sleep. And as much as the action caused his heart to skip a beat or five, Tobirama was having none of that.
"If you know, then wake up. Madara, this is important." He stressed the word to make a point but didn't try to rouse the other with anything else but his words. Quite the contrary, he was carding his fingers through messy dark hair and letting himself be used as a snuggle pillow. If anyone were to see them now as they were, they would probably die of shock from being unable to perceive two of some of the most powerful shinobi in history acting like a lovey dovey couple after a long night of celebrating their anniversary. "Come on, we need to talk about this. If we are going to do this again, then we need to make sure it doesn't start off as it did last night."
The Uchiha stiffened at those words, remembering the insults that had been thrown about like rice at a wedding and he winced as he remembered what he had said to Tobirama. What he had insinuated about Tobirama and his mother ... Shame filled the Clan Head and he placed another kiss over the slightly taller man's heart, this time in apology. "I am sorry for all the things I have said, especially about your mother. She must have been an amazing woman to have raised both you and Hashirama the way you are now."
The albino was obviously quite surprised at the first real words to leave his partner this morning but, as they registered, a part of him that had been tensed and agitated slowly relaxed and he just sighed into the other's hair. "You were right, about there being no white haired Senju. Me and Itama have been the only ones in the past ten generations who have had white hair, even if Itama's was white only on one side." He pointedly didn't look at Madara when the Uchiha's head shifted up to look at his face, instead focusing on the wall behind him. "The theory is that white hair occurs only when a Senju and an Uzumaki procreate, since we are technically sister clans. Apparently, no matter how much apart our ancestry is now, we still have too much similar genes among each other that white hair occurs when there are Senju-Uzumaki babies."
Madara couldn't help but snort. "That beats the theory of the brown haired Uchihas' origin." When Tobirama looked down at him in curiosity, Madara smirked. "Apparently, there is a legend that the dominating blackness of an Uchiha's hair comes from our ancestor, a brunet by nature if the stories are true, marrying a beautiful pale skinned, black haired, red eyed maiden that descended from the moon and blessed his eyes to see and remember all that he sees for the rest of his life if he promises eternal loyalty and faithfulness to her, which he did. Since she was obviously some sort of deity raised in the ashed of eternal fire, Uchihas have predominantly black hair, skin as pale as the moon in honor of his previous home and blessed eyes while our chakra was of fire's nature due to how she was born."
"Seriously?" Madara couldn't hold in a laugh as he fully took in the other's curious and excited face. Tobirama looked abut ready to jump right out of bed, find the nearest writable surface and whatever could be used as a writing tool to note down everything Madara said. It was shockingly cute, his thirst for knowledge.
"No, don't be ridiculous." He chuckled a bit more when the albino pouted. Pouted! Madara had never even imagined the other capable of doing that! It was even more endearing than the curiosity. "That's just some urban legend civilians have made up about us. Seriously, divinity marrying a human? It's almost like a fairy tale. Besides, nothing can live on the moon, I think, and even if something did, would it really be like us enough to procreate offspring?"
"So the whole story is a lie?"
"The fantastic parts are, but it is true that the first patriarch of our clan was a brunet and his wife had pale skin and black hair. Our Sharingan, however, came from him, not her. At least that's what the few texts we have regarding that matter say and depict in the drawings from back then, when our clan was first born." Madara shrugged, not really caring. It was all in the past, now, so why should he? He has his own life to live instead of reading about the lives of people long since dead and gone. "But what really is true is that the first matriarch demanded my ancestor's full devotion, loyalty and faithfulness and that he gave it to her. In turn, she loved him more than a mother could her child and so was born the overwhelming capacity of emotions in Uchiha. And that brings us back to what we should have been talking about, mainly what happened last night."
"I feel I ought to warn you that I don't really do casual all that well. Just so you know." The red eyed man immediately said, a serious look in his gaze that oddly reassured Madara when it would have sent anyone else running with how intense it was. Then again, Madara had grown up around lots and lots of intense red-eyed gazes. Had one of his own, too. It was more of a comfort than it probably should be, as a lot of people freaked out as soon as they caught a glimpse of red eyes, be the person who owns them an Uchiha or not. It was all out of the fear of the Sharingan and as a Sharingan user himself, Madara had nothing to fear.
"Good. I don't, either. No Uchiha does." The older man said in return. ''Like I just said, overwhelming emotions and whatnot.''
''I guess some of the things I learned about you Uchiha finally makes sense.'' Tobirama said, pondering what else there was to be discussed. Madara beat him to it, though.
''I hope you don't mind but I'm not really big on public displays of affection.''
Tobirama actually sighed in relief for that one. ''Thank Kami, as I am not, either. I don't know if you've noticed, but I am a very private person.'' Madara chuckled and leaned up to place a kiss on his partner's cheek. He did not expect the gasp that escaped them both, as when he moved, Tobirama slid a bit out of him. Red and black eyes met as heat flushed through them both, some of it even staining their cheeks a lovely pink. A smirk slid onto the paler man's lips. ''Do you think you can handle round two, Ma-da-ra?''
Madara returned the smirk with a seductive one of his own before Tobirama suddenly found himself on his back, a smug Uchiha straddling his hips and looking down at him with lustful eyes and the same smug smirk. ''Hn. Why don't we test it?''
As he rolled his hips, making Tobirama gasp, it was clear neither had a problem with that.
