Author's Note:Once again, thank you all for your kinds words and encouragement. I sincerely appreciate you sharing your thoughts and opinions with me, and your continued interest despite the delayed updates. Also, thanks to everyone who's taking the time to follow, favourite or just read this story. And I apologize for the long delay in updating.
This chapter is also unbetaed. So, all mistakes are mine. All disclaimers of previous chapters apply. Spoilers till Episode 2 of Season 5. Now on with the story.
As she drove back to Sam's that evening, Andy tried to raise her thoughts beyond the weariness of her conversations with him the last few times. Sam's goofy, and yet, indulgent smile as he had told her about Ernie, the zamboni driver, was quite possibly one of her absolute favourite moments with him. And every time, she felt hurt, drained, almost hopeless regarding their relationship, that smile would come back to her mind, to cheer her up. Now that she looked back on many of her interactions with him, she remembered seeing that indulgent look on his face, quite a few times. From her rookie days to becoming his partner, and then his significant other, that look had been a part of their interactions almost as long as his smirk.
Thinking of that part amused, part over-smart smirk led Andy to remember something his sister had told her in one of their first meetings. Sarah had said something about her brother repeatedly hurting her. Andy also recalled various other conversations she had had with Sam's sister in the last few weeks, slowly breaking the roughness into learning what she had meant by that warning. Andy chuckled as she reflected on the similarities between the siblings. Hard nuts to crack, both, and yet so soft, so vulnerable, once you managed to overcome those hard barriers to get to know them. Sam wasn't the most forgiving person on earth; consequently, any relationship with him was that much more difficult, Sarah had remarked. Andy had eventually managed to explain to Sarah, that while Sam did not easily forget, he did forgive, after all he had forgiven her, so many times: her arresting him her first day on the job, her choosing Luke over him, her leaving after the suspension, and so very many times she had crossed him though he was a superior officer at work. On reflection, Andy wondered how she had been so unforgiving of his withdrawal after Jerry. Those were thoughts for another day.
Andy opened the door to Sam's house with some trepidation. The angry outburst earlier had helped her calm down. But she had not spent four years with the man, in various roles, without knowing him. And what that knowledge told her right now was that he had probably retreated even further into himself, after that altercation.
When she stepped into the living room, she immediately noticed him on the couch. There were some papers strewn across the coffee table in front. It appeared he had tried to tackle some paperwork but had not been able to manage to stay awake long enough to finish it. She took a closer look and found that they concerned his health insurance information. Since he was shot on duty, she knew his medical care and mandatory therapy expenses would be covered by their TPS associated health insurance plan. That, of course, did not preclude the necessity for a ton of paperwork that had to be filed at the correct places.
In the years she had known Sam, he had shown a pronounced reluctance to handling any paperwork, even those concerning cases he had practically solved alone. The fact that he had sat down with these after or may be even during their conversation seemed to be screaming something at her. Was Sam really that upset with her, that he did not even want her to handle his paperwork?
Suddenly, she felt exhausted. Slumping in the recliner Sam had near the couch, she glanced idly at the papers strewn on the coffee table. She was not paying too much attention, when what she thought was her name on one of the documents, drew her attention. While she knew of Sam's need for privacy, she was only human. Andy could not, not know why Sam would put her name on his medical paperwork. Sam did not trust easily, but once given, his faith in someone did not get diminished without reason. In the midst of all the worry for his health, and the status of their relationship, it was comforting to note, that even now, he trusted her. He trusted her judgment enough that he would leave her name on his medical paperwork, not just as a witness or emergency contact, but his medical proxy. If Sam was ever unable to make health-care decisions for himself, she would be responsible for making them. It was a huge responsibility, she knew. But, with Sam, it did not scare her. In fact, it gave her hope. And while she knew, this was not a giant step ahead, it was one.
