So I Read "Bordering Trouble" by half_sleeping on AO3, and a crack ship was born (Osamu x Chika is still life, but I find this hilarious XD)
Rating: C for "Cheek Pinching"
Summary: Chika catches the eye of one of the most unlikely people in all of Border (and Osamu may or may not be pissed)
"Chiiikaaaaaaa….." Izuho whined, "Don't destroy the OTP!"
"H-huh?" Chika asked, cocking her head in confusion. "What's an 'OTP'—?"
"ONE TRUE PARING~!" Akane sang, throwing her arms up into the air. "You and Mikumo-kun are destined to be together!"
Chika shook her head, feeling her face heat up. "I-I highly doubt that…I don't even—"
"Nice try," a voice said behind her, "you confessed you liked him in the first chapter."
"W-well I would like to have children one day," Chika explained, blushing slightly. "But…I can't think of anyone else who I can trust to raise them with me other than Osamu-kun…is that bad?"
"I…no…" Kitora sighed, still covering her face. "T-that means…you definitely like Osamu-kun…"
"…it does?"
"Y-yeah…"
The four fell silent, not quite sure what to do with this information.
"…I guess…I like Osamu-kun then," Chika decided with a nod.
"…Kitora-san?"
The Arashiyama Ace exhaled as Chika made room for her to sit down. "I didn't explain where babies come from just for you to deny everything two chapters later," she muttered, picking up a menu. "When are you guys going to get over that incident anyway? I want to eat my spicy ramen without snide remarks from you two."
Izuho and Akane scratched their heads, laughing nervously.
"Anyway," Akane deflected, "We were talking about Chika befriending a certain someone and endangering the OTP!"
"…really?" Kitora deadpanned, "You're shipping them?"
Chika turned to the ace, seeming even more bewildered than before. "…'shipping'?"
"Shipping is the undying need for two people to get together," Izuho answered easily, "Example: you and Mikumo-kun."
"…oh."
"Anyway," Akane deflected again, "Chika, aren't you going to tell the story!?"
Chika shrugged. "I…I guess I can…"
"Oi, Yuzuru!" a voice practically snarled, causing everyone in the shooting range to turn towards the source.
"Kagura-san," Ema replied calmly, "Is something wrong?"
"You were supposed to report back to the squad room, dipshit," Kagura growled, "We've been waiting for almost half an hour!"
"I-I'm sorry!" Chika said suddenly, moving to stand in front of the squad captain. "I-I accidentally held him up asking for advice—it's my fault."
Kagura Masato looked down at the brunette girl, raising an eyebrow. "…I know you," he stated, "You're that Trion monster, right?"
Chika felt her face flush as Ema dissolved his riffle. "Kagura-san," he warned.
"I-It's okay," Chika assured both of them, "A-And I'm sorry again for make Yuzuru-kun late…"
"It's…okay…" Kagura muttered, averting his eyes. "Just…stop doing that."
"…doing what?" Chika asked, puzzled as she cocked her head to the side.
"That," Kagura pointed out, "That…what the hell is that!?"
"Kagura-san," Ema repeated, "Just leave her alone, please."
Kagura rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he huffed, "Let's get going."
As they left, Chika waved goodbye. "Bye Yuzuru-kun, Kagura-san!"
The captain stopped in his tracks, his shoulders tensing up. "Stop."
Chika winced, still not entirely sure what she was doing wrong. "I'm…sorry…?" she murmured, averting her eyes.
Kagura growled again, turning back around and towering over Chika.
"H-hey…" Izuho stammered, "K-Kagura—"
Then without warning, he reached down and gently pinched Chika's cheeks.
"U…uh…" Chika felt her face catch fire as Kagura continued to play with her cheeks, a sneer still imprinted on his face.
"K…Kagura…san…?" Even Ema seemed completely baffled, eyes wide in shock. "What are you doing…?"
"She keeps on being cute," he mumbled, "and that pisses me the hell off."
After a few more moments of soft cheek-pinching, Kagura let go. "…sorry," he grumbled, turning and leaving without another word.
Ema turned from Chika to the door his captain left, then back to Chika again. "…are you okay?" he asked, eyes still wide.
"Y-yeah…" Chika replied, rubbing her cheeks. "It just…took me off guard, I guess."
"…okay," he replied, "…I guess I'll see you later."
Chika nodded with a smile as Ema followed after his captain, still holding her cheek.
"What the hell!?" Kitora demanded, "He did what!?"
"I know right!?" Akane asked, "It wasn't even rough or anything—he just…"
"It was the weirdest thing!" Izuho agreed, "Everyone was so confused…"
Chika nodded, subconsciously rubbing her cheeks. "Now that I think about it, it may have had to do with his Side-Effect," she said, "he's not really used to people being nice towards him, is he?"
Kitora rolled her eyes. "Maybe," she muttered, "but…pinching your cheeks…?"
"It is a little cute though," Akane admitted, "but the OTP must live on!"
"Actually…" Chika trailed off, "You guys weren't there when that incident happened in the cafeteria, were you?"
The other three girls instantly went silent.
"…I didn't think so," Chika sighed, "Well…"
"I think I see Yuma over there," Osamu said, pushing up his glasses. "Let's go sit by him."
Chika nodded in agreement as the two of them weaved their way through the tables towards their teammate. When they finally made it over there, it turned out Yuma wasn't alone.
"Hi Yuzuru-kun," Chika greeted as she sat beside Yuma, "Kagura-san."
Kagura seemed to flinch at the sound of her voice. "Ugh," he scoffed, "it's you."
Osamu raised an eyebrow when the fellow captain not-so-subtly scooted closer to the Tamakoma sniper.
"Excuse me, Kagura san," he said respectfully, "Can I, uh—"
"There's plenty of room next to Kuga over there," Kagura stated, "I don't feel like moving."
"…you just did though," Osamu pointed out, "it was pretty conspicuous…"
Chika winced at the rising tension. "Y-Yuma-kun…" she whispered, "C-can you move over a bit?"
"Normally I would," Yuma replied, "but this is starting to get interesting…"
"The fuck did you say, punk!?" Kagura demanded, getting up from his seat and grabbing the Tamakoma-2 captain by his collar. "I'll beat your ass right now!"
"It's not that big of a deal," Osamu said peacefully, "I'll just go sit next to Yuma then."
"Kagura-san," Ema stated, "You're causing a scene."
"You think I give a rat's ass about causing a scene!?" Kagura demanded, turning to his teammate. "This weakling has the nerve to—"
"Kagura-san," Ema stated again.
Suddenly Kagura sputtered, letting go of Osamu's shirt. "What the fuck!?" he demanded, "That's playing dirty, you asshole!"
"What do you mean?" Osamu asked, voice full of worry. "Is it your Side-Effect?"
"Don't give me that innocent bullshit!" Kagura roared, "Is that—murderous intent!? What the fuck!?"
"Of course not!" the Megane-kun replied hastily, "I-I was a little annoyed, but it's not that extreme! I-I'm sorry—"
"I don't feel a single drop of remorse, you fucker!" Kagura snapped, "Just—fuck!"
"G-guys…" Chika said weakly, "I…I can just sit in the middle…"
"I was here first!" Kagura insisted, "That Megane-kun can go—"
"I want to sit next to both of you!" Chika interrupted a bit louder than intended.
After her outburst, it became painfully obvious that most of the cafeteria had gone quiet.
"Now look at what you did…" Ema muttered, "Everyone's staring…"
"…I'll just scoot over," Yuma said, moving to sit next to Ema on the clear other side of the table.
"T…thanks Yuma," Osamu replied, sitting on the other side of Chika.
Kagura seemed like he was the only one not satisfied with this new arrangement. "You didn't have to move, midget," he muttered, though he nonetheless took his previous spot at the table. "And you didn't have to make such a big deal out of it, Megane-kun…"
"I was willing to sit next to Yuma," Osamu pointed out, "though I'm sorry I triggered your Side-Effect."
"Fuck you," was Kagura's blunt reply.
However, things seemed to have settled down, causing Chika to let out a sigh of relief.
"Okay," Kitora said, "that was a cheap trick."
"That was pretty mean…" Izuho agreed, "I'm surprised Osamu isn't dead, to be honest…"
Chika shrugged, not quite understanding. "It wasn't Osamu-kun's fault," she said, "he was just annoyed…"
The other three girls raised their eyebrows at her, giving Chika the feeling she was missing something.
"Chika," Kitora stated, "Osamu obviously used Kagura's Side-Effect to piss him off—I mean come on, 'murderous intent'?"
"How does one force malicious feelings towards someone on themselves?" Akane questioned, stroking her chin. "That must take concentration…"
"I'm just surprised it worked," Izuho said, "I would have thought Kagura would have known the difference…unless—"
"I doubt it," Kitora cut off immediately, "He probably just focused on his irritation or something, causing it to affect Kagura a lot more than normal."
"Well…" Chika murmured, "…maybe he found out about Kagura pinching my cheeks and got mad?"
"That…makes a lot of sense," Izuho agreed, "He doesn't want other guys touching his girlfriend!"
Chika felt her face flush again, but decided that arguing would be pointless.
O-M-A-K-E
"Hey Mikumo-kun," Akane said, "Chika told us about how you mind-fucked Kagura-san!"
Instead of dignifying that with a response, Osamu turned to Chika with a smile. "Are you ready to go?"
"Sure," Chika replied, "Excuse me, Kitora—"
"Not yet," Kitora stated, refusing to make way for her to stand. "Mikumo-kun, you really are an asshole."
Realizing he wasn't going to get out of this, the Megane-kun sighed. "I couldn't help it," he murmured, "I wasn't even being confrontational and he was being overprotective…of my teammate, no less…"
"Is that jealousy I hear~?" Izuho sang, "I thought you were above that, Mikumo-kun~!"
"I'm usually better at covering it than most," Osamu replied dryly, "Just because I'm usually non-confrontational—"
"'Non-confrontational'?" Kitora interrupted incredulously, "Mikumo-kun, last chapter you called a C-Rank a bitch and punched him in the face."
"First off," Osamu stated, "I only called people who run away from a fight just because it's too hard that word—"
"What word?" Akane goaded, "You already said it in front of Chika, so you can't pull that card—!"
"Second," the Megane-kun continued stubbornly, "I only hit him because I knew he wouldn't get hurt, and it was more of a shove than a punch—"
"Because he was acting like a what, Mikumo-kun?" Izuho baited, "Don't act so high and mighty just because we're girls!"
"Third," he gritted out, "I'm not just going to let someone—"
"—someone what, Mikumo-kun?" Kitora asked, "Kagura wasn't disrespecting Chika like those C-Ranks were last chapter, so you can't claim that you were protecting her."
"Why are you breaking the fourth wall?" the Megane asked irritably, "Don't you mean yesterday?"
"Why are you avoiding the question?" Kitora shot back, "Just admit it—you were upset that Kagura was starting to make moves on Chika."
Osamu raised an eyebrow at the ace. "If Konami-sempai just ran around pinching Karasuma-sempai's cheeks, what would you do?"
"SHE DID WHAT!?" Kitora roared, slamming her hands onto the table and standing. "THAT TRAITOROUS—!"
"I rest my case," Osamu sighed, "Chika?"
Chika scooted past Kitora with a mumbled "sorry" and stood up.
"…Mikumo-kun…" Kitora growled, "…you really are an asshole."
Why do I always write Osamu as an asshole…?
