Alex paced in the attendings lounge nervously. He had confirmed that Meredith's surgery had ended thirty minutes ago, and he had yet to hear from her.

He struggled to make sense of the information he knew. Meredith had been telling Jo a story about him. Shortly afterward, she became angry and yelled at Jo, throwing her out of the OR. Meredith wouldn't look at him and barely spoke to him when he went in the OR. Somehow, this had something to do with him, but what?

It just didn't make any sense. Meredith liked Jo and in fact had accepted her as a friend in recent months. She had Jo listed as a partner rather than an assistant on her research paper, which was a move certain to have multiple positive repercussions for Jo's career. Meredith was by Jo's side during the whole Paul fiasco. Why would she suddenly turn on her? Alex knew there must be a reason and needed to hear it from Meredith. He attempted several calls and texts with no response, which brought a sickening feeling back to him. He needed to find her, and find her now.

He searched everywhere in the hospital he knew to look, he had her paged several times despite the nasty looks he received when he repeatedly barked the order to the nurse at the desk.

He wrung his hands as sweat started to form on his brow. A small bead of sweat rolled down his pinched face threatening to drop into his eye. Searching himself as to where she could be, he thought of the bench in front of the hospital. She had a habit of seeking this bench out when she was trying to work something out in her mind.

He walked quickly with a forward gait, his doctor's coat billowing out in back of him, as he made his way to the doors. He hung his head and slumped his shoulders in sheer relief at the sight of her sitting out there. She was alone, and sat staring straight ahead. Something was very clearly wrong. He opened the door and went to her, sitting beside her on the bench.

"Go away, Alex." Her voice was cold, inflectionless. Her unseeing stare did not waver, and she made no effort to look at him.

"What's wrong?" there was something about the way she sat and stared, and the way she told him to go away, that caused him great concern.

"Nothing I'm fine."

Fine. That dreaded word. The one she used when she was anything but fine. He felt the panic start to well up inside of him. She wasn't talking, even to him, and it scared the hell out of him. Just yesterday she was her normal self, and now she seemed to be just a shell of herself.

"Meredith, please.." He leaned over to her, trying to get him to look at her.

She didn't know what to do. He was trying to get her to talk, to tell him what was wrong. She couldn't say the words. It hurt way too much. Her heart was pounding and she felt a lightheadedness she hadn't felt in a long time. She noticed her palms sweating and tried to wipe them on her jeans. She felt the sob, sitting like a knot in her throat threatening to break free at any moment. She swallowed hard and stood hastily, turning away from the hospital.

He came after her and put his hand on her shoulder. She stopped, but did not turn around.

"Meredith, I'm not going anywhere, so you might as well tell me what's going on."

When she next spoke, her tone was cold and harsh. She didn't sound like Meredith.

"Jo's a fifth year."

He shook his head. He was having a hard time following her. "Yeah, so?"

She swallowed hard, and turned to face him.

"Jo is a fifth year." She repeated.

Her blue eyes were flat and sad. Suddenly, he realized what she was saying…what she wasn't saying. It was like a punch to the gut, and seemed to take all the air from him.

"Oh."

A single tear broke free, which Meredith quickly wiped away. "Yeah." It was barely a whisper, and she looked down at her shoes. "She's hoping to go to Mass Gen."

They stood like that for what could have been minutes or hours. How could he not have known this? Finally, Alex spoke.

"Screw it. It doesn't have to change anything. We're family, Mer. We-" he cleared his throat to keep his emotions in check. "We'll still talk all the time. We won't let anything change."

She didn't look up from her shoes. "Yeah, that's what Cristina and I said." Hot tears stung her cheeks, and she hoped he couldn't see them. "I want you to promise me you'll be happy. You deserve to be happy, Alex, and if I know you're out in the world happy, well, that will have to be enough."

His heart constricted, and he closed his eyes against the pain. She was telling him goodbye. He went to hug her, but she turned and fled. He wanted to go after her, but his feet felt like lead. He hung his head, and sat down on the bench she was on moments before. He stared ahead into the darkness.