Root

"What did she say she was making?" Sam hissed to her husband, Freddie.

"Er, glazed bonsai roots," Freddie replied weakly. "I swear, Sam, they don't taste as bad as they sound."

"I'm almost done!" Freddie's mom called from the kitchen.

"Why did you tell her she could come over for dinner?" Sam whispered angrily.

"Hey, your mom came over last week in her bikini!"

"Okay, you've made your point," Sam mumbled. "But why does she have to cook?"

"Come on, Sam, she's a lonely old lady. Taking care of people's the only joy she gets anymore."

"Fine, but do you think our children will put roots in their mouths?" Sam said, crossing her arms.

Freddie blinked. She had a point…

"Kids!" Freddie called. "Come her for a sec."

Freddie and Sam's three children, Jason, who was seven, and their three-year old identical twin girls, Emma and Ashton, ran into the dining room.

"Alright," Freddie said, pulling out his wallet. "Grandma is cooking glazed bonsai roots for dinner and-"

"Gross!" all three children exclaimed.

Sam smirked.

"Okay, yes, it's gross," Freddie said, rolling his eyes. "But…I'm willing to give anybody who eats them and pretends to love them twenty bucks."

The kids' eyes grew wide.

"Make it thirty," Emma said.

"Good girl," Sam said, grinning at her daughter, earning her a dirty look from Freddie.

"Twenty five," Freddie said, haggling with his toddler daughter. "Final offer."

"Deal."

"Here's ten each," Freddie said. "You get the other fifteen after you clean your plates."

"Care to put that in writing?" Jason said, grabbing a sheet of paper and a purple crayon.

Freddie reluctantly took the paper and scribbled out the agreement. "There," he said, handing the contract back the contract. "Remember; not a single root left on your plates, agreed?"

"I can't believe you just bribed them to eat your mom's cooking," Sam said as the kids ran out of the room.

"I had no choice."

"Uh-huh," Sam nodded. "And…what if I told you I wasn't going to eat them?"

"Fine, do you want money too, Sam? Those three wiped me out, but you have my ATM number so you can-"

"In case you've forgotten, Benson, we share a bank account. I don't need you to bribe me with money."

"What do you want me to bribe you with…Oh, I got it , my body."

"As if," Sam laughed, smacking Freddie's shoulder as he grinned cockily. "No, I have something else in mind…"

"What?" Freddie said, frowning.

"I eat this root chiz, and refrain from making rude comments about it, you have to let me buy that flesh eating zombie picture we saw at the gallery we went to with Spencer last week to hang in our bedroom."

"That thing is creepy beyond belief, Sam!"

"That's what I want," Sam said simply, crossing her arms. "Take it or leave it."

"Dinner's ready!" his mom called from the kitchen. "Let me just put the roots on everyone's plate…"

"Fine," Freddie mumbled. "We'll go get it after dinner."