Chapter Eight
She was lying on her side on the gurney. The seductive voice called to her. "I want you, Meredith. Right here, right now."
"Mmm," she murmured. "Let me see you."
"You know who I am, Meredith."
"I want to see you." She felt herself give in to his kisses.
"Meredith…Meredith" he called to her.
"Meredith wake up."
She awoke with a start in Alex's arms. "Hey, are you okay? It sounded like you were having a nightmare.
She stared at him, eyes wide with alarm. "Mmhm."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
She quickly shook her head no. "Nope. All good. Thanks. Good night!" She turned over and stared straight ahead, feeling panicked. It made sense now. The tunnels. The familiar voice. The man in her dream was lying in her bed. She had been dreaming, repeatedly, about…Alex? What did this mean? Was Jo right? Was she in love with him? He was her person, her best friend. Sure, there had been a few times when she thought they maybe had something more than friendship, but there was always an obstacle.
"But I know one thing. When she told me it was over, I wasn't that upset. When you left me tonight, I couldn't move for two hours."
She replayed what he had said before she fell asleep. What did that mean? Did he have feelings for her?
She sighed. This was complicated.
"Mer? You awake?"
"Yeah."
"Can we talk?"
She swallowed nervously. "Of course." She turned to him. He looked as nervous as she felt.
"Mer, I never want to lose you."
"I know." She wanted to say so much more, but it was all she could say.
"Please tell me that we're okay. I shouldn't have told you what she said."
"Alex, we're fine Don't worry about what she said."
He turned to stare at the ceiling ."That's kind of the thing." There was a hesitation while he got up the courage to continue." I can't stop thinking about it."
She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, too. There was a long pause before she said, "I'm thinking about it, too."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Have you ever thought about it before?"
Actually, I've been dreaming about you the last four nights. "Well, yeah, I guess. It's what you do, you know?"
He relaxed and smiled. She was so great. Nothing was ever awkward with her. He ventured a glance at her. "So, what does this mean?" he felt like a teenage girl, so vulnerable, and he hated it.
She was silent for a bit. There was so much on the line. Too much. If she gambled and lost…she couldn't bear the thought. If she gambled and won, on the other hand…
She suddenly remembered her dead mother's words to her. "You are anything but ordinary."
She smiled to herself. "I guess it means we're thinking about it." She turned to see his face, and was relieved to see him smiling, too.
"Wow," he said.
"Wow," she repeated.
"Mer?"
"Yeah?"
"Does me being in your bed feel weird now?"
"Yeah, kind of. A little. But it's nice."
"Okay." There was a long silence before he spoke again. "We've known each other a long time."
She rolled onto her side to talk to him. "A really long time."
"You knew me back when I wasn't anyone worth knowing."
She reached over and took his hand. "You were always somebody worth knowing, Alex."
"You have always seen the good in me even when I didn't think there was any good left. I don't even think I would be a doctor if it wasn't for you." he said, remembering when she helped him pass his practicals.
"Yeah, well I don't know if I would even be a mother if it wasn't for you. You helped me believe I could do it, and then you brought us Zola. So we are more than even."
He smiled his crooked grin which she had always found so charming. "Well, we're definitely the head of each other's fan club."
She laughed. "That we are! Do you think it's possible to go from being friends to being more than friends without ruining our friendship?"
"It worked for Monica and Chandler."
Confused, she asked, "Who?"
He laughed. "From Friends? The television show?"
"Oh, yeah." She chuckled.
"I spend a lot of time with teenage girls," he said, by way of explanation. "But seriously, yeah. I think it's possible."
She noticed how he had been nervously playing with her fingers as he spoke. She realized she found it endearing.
"Alex, your relationship just ended. How do I know, how do you know this isn't just a rebound?"
He actually laughed at that. "Because, Mer. She's right. It always comes down to you. I let you throw her out of bed. I spent every spare minute on the phone for a year trying to find you. I slept in a chair for six weeks next to your bed. Today, she told me you yelled at her, and I asked her what she did wrong. It's you, Mer. That's how I know. You are anything but a rebound. I've never been more sure of anything in my life."
He didn't fidget with her fingers the whole time he spoke. Her heart was pounding, and she was sure he could feel the sweat on her palm.
He had a newfound confidence, and decided to run with it "Go out with me, Mer. Let me take you on a date."
She grinned. "A date?"
"Yeah, dinner or something. Whatever you want."
"And then what?"
"Just a date. If it doesn't work for you, we forget it. What matters to me is you."
Suddenly, it just made sense. She found herself smiling."How about dinner tomorrow?"
His face lit up with her response. "I'll, uh, pick you up at eight!"
She lie there, looking at the ceiling. "Alex?"
"Yeah Mer?"
"It's weird that you're in my bed."
He grinned. "Yeah. I'll hit the couch. Night."
"Night."
