Hi guys! I'm soon going back to University so I don't know how regularly I'll be able to update. But I'm really excited whenever I get a notification for this story and they make me write a lot faster. So please let me know what you think and review.

Hope you like my turn on Bucky :)

Chapter 5

The soldier kept staring ahead, his feet still stretched out in front of him, sitting on the bed. From the outside he looked calm, maybe even peaceful. The inside, however – that was a completely different story.

In addition to all the memories concerning his former best friend being replayed over and over again in his head, he couldn't help but overanalyse everything the female agent had said.

Could she possibly be trusted? Was she telling the truth? Did she really experience something similar? Did she simply play with his mind? Did she actually know Steve? Will she come back?

Yes, she said she would come back. But did she mean it? Did she simply want a reason to leave without seeming too impolite?

Yes, it would be nice to be able to talk to someone who understands. Yes, she seemed like she know what she was talking about. No, he did not know anything about her that would make him trust her. No, he did not know how to deal with this situation – with this woman.

It felt as if hours had passed since the blonde had closed the door behind her. With every moment that passed, with every minute he counted, Bucky grew even surer that the agent would not come back. But then why had she bothered to tell him she would? Why not just leave?

He couldn't decipher her and that was a real problem. He was made to assess situations in the blink of an eye and react accordingly. Everything inside of Bucky screamed to figure out what the agent had planned and counteract each of her movements. But for that she had to come back first. So he did what was used to, he waited.

xXx

Bucky counted exactly 39 minutes since the blonde woman had left, when the door creaked open once more. She – Michelle, he remembered – pushed the door open with her right foot while she balanced two plates full of food and rather clumsily made her way to the middle of the room. Having placed the plates on the floor between them, she turned around towards the exit one more time.

Bucky watched her somewhat curiously, especially since he noticed the knife adorning one of the plates. What the fuck was wrong with this woman? Did she have some sick kind of death wish? Not only did she bring a weapon into the cell of an accomplished assassin – no, she left it unsupervised. For a second, he expected her to leave, but the agent simply closed the door she had left open earlier.

"Here you go", Michelle told him, gesturing to the plate closer to him.

Behind his blank mask, Bucky was still cursing the woman in front of him. As if she didn't have a single care in the world, she moved to sit on the floor cross-legged and started cutting her food. Taking a closer look, he identified the food as some kind of meatloaf drenched in a brown sauce and peas.

Given that he still hadn't moved, she leaned forward to push his plate closer to the bed he occupied. "Come on, you must be starving, no?" Bucky simply stared at the food by his side, as if it would help him figure out what was going on.

Sighing loudly, Michelle stabbed a piece of his meatloaf with her fork and stuffed it in her mouth. "See, no poison. Food good. You need to eat." After a little break, she started to speak again, her voice this time a lot more unsure. "Do you want me to leave?"

The soldier actually thought about the question for a few minutes. No, he didn't want her to go, he was sick of being alone in this window-less room. Maybe it was because of his curiosity, maybe, just maybe, he enjoyed the company of someone who's not scared of the infamous Winter soldier. Having made up his mind, Bucky stretched his arms and got off the bed.

Michelle looked more than a little taken aback when he got seated on the floor, his back leaning against the side of the bed. She hadn't touched her food since offering to give him space, which he – of course – had noticed.

So Bucky put his plate of food on his lap and started scooping up peas. Catching the woman's green eyes, he nodded in her direction in a somewhat challenging manner. "Your food's getting cold", was all he said when he focused on the vegetables.

That actually made Michelle crack a small smile. He had not only allowed her to stay, he had even spoken to her like a normal person. Maybe there was hope after all, a shell to break to reach James Buchanan Barnes in there.

Testing her newfound confidence in the assassin's humanity, the woman wordlessly offered him the knife, she held towards him with an outstretched arm. Taking the cutlery, Bucky chuckled lowly, dangerously. Something in his eyes signalled danger, but Michelle kept calm nonetheless. "You think it's a good idea to hand me a weapon, agent?"

"You are not a prisoner here and I made that very clear to Fury. I didn't threaten him to quit if you weren't allowed to use a knife and a fork to eat. I got you one, so you might as well use it. Preferably on the meat, not on me."

The former assassin had to avert his eyes and focus on cutting the meatloaf on his lap. Otherwise he wouldn't have been able to keep his disinterested face intact.

Who the fuck is she? Threaten Fury? Not even Steve would dare to do so. And for what? For a knife and a fork. Well, and for food that was actually edible.

xXX

The empty plates were left on the floor between them, the used knife sitting atop of them. The soldier had yet to move back onto the bed and therefore they both still sat on the floor, unsure what to do or say.

Shelly was leaning on her elbows with her legs stretched out in front of her, waiting for some kind of reaction. He had eaten his whole plate and even seemed to have enjoyed it, but he had yet to make a comment about her actions. She didn't do it to earn his trust or to get him to talk, it had been the right thing to do. Nothing more. Like she had made it clear to Hill and Fury, he shouldn't be treated like a fucking prisoner. But… it would still be nice to get a simple thank you out of the former assassin's mouth.

Given the fact, that she was too proud to ask for his appreciation, they stayed silent and kept any eye contact to a minimum. Every now and then the agent caught the man looking at her in what she'd describe as a curious manner.

It was obvious to Bucky that there was something the blonde woman was waiting for but her posture or facial expressions gave no clue as to what that something was. Was there some ritual he was not familiar with? He ate all of the food she had offered him, what more was he supposed to do? That had been already way more than she should have expected in the first place.

So both kept their thoughts to themselves and let their eyes silently roam around the room they sat in. The agent and the soldier remained in their positions, both used to forcing their bodies to keep still, until a knock on the door interrupted the quiet.

Unsure of who was waiting on the other side of the door, Shelly slowly made her way towards the room's only exit. The door, however, opened before she even reached it and revealed a fellow agent she had met in passing. What was his name again? Josh?

"Ahm, hi", he waved awkwardly, "I'm Agent Scott Wilby, I'm here to collect the plates and the knife."

Scott… close enough, almost sounds like Josh. He seems… scared, I suppose. I don't think he's ever been this close to the infamous winter soldier.

"Fury sent you, didn't he?" A small jerky nod confirmed her suspicion and so Shelly finally allowed the man to enter the fully lighted room. As predicted he neared the knife and the soldier with unease and fear clearly expressed by his face.

Annoyed with the male agent's reaction to the other man, Shelly brushed past him, picked up the dirty plates and shoved them into Scott's outstretched hands. "Thank you, Scott, you can go now and tell Fury that knives are good from now on." With that, the woman sat back down on the floor across from the soldier, not looking when the door closed behind her work colleague.

xXx

From now on? Does that mean the woman plans on letting me eat the real food more often?

Inwardly, Bucky smiled at that idea. He surely wouldn't miss the "food" he'd been served so far, it was edible but nothing more. And actually using cutlery had made him feel a little bit more like a human again.

The man, the male agent, however, had looked at him as if he would grab the knife any second and slit his throat before he had a chance to scream for help. Well, there was a time, not that long ago, where that would be a very likely scenario. But now he tried to be better, didn't they see how hard he tried?

He shouldn't need the agent to defend him, he should be able to talk for himself and make them see that he wasn't going to attack them. Nonetheless, he had just sat there, letting it all happen without moving a muscle. This was definitely not what the winter soldier would have done - absolutely not - but it also wasn't what the old Bucky would've done.

No matter in what situation, James Buchanan Barnes had always been the one to take charge and say what needed to be said. He wouldn't allow that to change.

"You don't need to mother me. I can take care of myself. All that agent did was stare, I can handle it, believe me, otherwise I would have made my opinion known."

Hearing his voice must have surprised the woman, because she looked up into his eyes in a sudden movement, her mouth slightly opened. Sadly, the stern mask she liked to wear was back in place in a matter of seconds.

"Oh really? ", her voice was tight and filled with anger. "Then why didn't you say anything when he looked like he was going to faint just from breathing the same air as you? You can't tell me you didn't mind that."

Wait… is she actually angry at the agent for treating me like this and not at me? That does not make any sense.

"How could he not? You know the stories they tell about me. He was rightfully scared for his well-being and I don't blame him."

"But you blame yourself, don't you? You think you deserve these stares because of what you've done? Guess what, you don't. You are not some zoo animal to look at. You are not a monster."

Instead of properly reacting to the woman's comment, Bucky only got up to sit back on the bed, in the same position she had found him in earlier this morning.

Earlier this morning … Wasn't that insane? So much had happened that for both it seemed as if at least a week had passed in the meantime. She had just entered the room silently and sat down on the floor. Now they both sat as they did initially and remained quiet until it was time for Shelly to leave for the night.

That night, however, their thoughts were with the other.