"Humor was a good way to hide the pain."
— Leo Valdez, The Lost Hero
Chapter Five: JASON
don't you realize you are all i need?
I must have been dreaming.
That was the only logical thing I could think of, because Leo Valdez barged in my cabin, two in the morning, crying. The evidence was red-rimmed eyes and an upset frown across his usual-smiling face. His disheveled hair was signs that A) he had bed-head; or B) he was anxious and absentmindedly messed his hair up in curlier locks. It was probably both. And, yeah, he looked hot—but that was not the point.
"What's wrong?" I demanded. Seeing him distressed made me in a confused and protective mode. I sat up in my bed, as he stood near the end, brown eyes filled with hurt.
Realising he had a few tears, Leo muttered quietly, "Oh, I thought I was done." He wiped his eyes. "Sorry, I was cutting onions."
I decided to let that lie pass—I didn't want to sound nosy. But the curiosity was eating me up inside. "Leo, you can tell me. I'm your friend."
As if that was the final signal, Leo sighed, blinking furiously. "Okay, so maybe I don't actually cut onions—and that may be a creepy thing to do, especially in the morning. Doesn't Lou Ellen collect sagewort and belladonna at midnight, though?"
"She's not actually a witch. I think one of her siblings is Wiccan, though."
"Whatever. The reason why I'm all mopey is because Calypso—she, well, thought we weren't compatible."
I could tell that I would be awake for a while, and reached for my glasses, putting them on. My mood shifted to slight confusion when I registered that Leo chose me. Over Piper. Over talking to kids from the Athena or Aphrodite cabin. I couldn't mess anything between us, because Leo trusted me enough. It was good, I suppose, to tell each other our problems, but it reminded me once more of how our relationship was simply, one hundred percent, platonic.
"Why would she think you're incompatible?" Fatigue never completely left me, so my words came out in a mumbled tone.
"Isn't it obvious? She's used to having those knights in shining armour. Someone like Percy—or you." He shrugged, as if meaning, it's just the truth. "If I'm compared to anyone in the Seven, I'm—"
"The Awesome One. The Funny One. The guy that is incredible, smart, and thoughtful."
"Uh . . ." he stared at me in surprise. "Did you hit your head or something? Because I could have sworn that you COMPLIMENTED me. And, well, you don't usually do that."
If I looked in his eyes, I swear that I'll be a flustered mess, despite the fact he couldn't see. I became interested to where the Zeus statue was standing, feeling self-conscious that the sculpture could hear us converse. "Listen, Leo, you are an amazing guy."
"That explains my luck with girls."
"Exactly—you just hadn't found the right one yet. Although I think even considering Khione may have been a colossal fail in the end."
"Dude, I couldn't control my hormones! Besides, we were opposites. And dare I say it, incompatible."
"Snow and fire . . . I agree."
Leo's smile faded. "Shocking enough, I-I'm not that sad. I think I'm used to rejection."
I bit my lip, wondering if that was even a good thing. Getting used to being discarded lost hope, and I feared that Leo will soon have enough and become a miserable, hating-love demigod.
"I think I'm going to stay away from dating."
"Probably for the best. But you do know that some things couldn't happen? I mean, if you think about it, it wasn't you that drove them away."
"Yeah." He sighed. "Khione was a goddess who turned out being evil, Hazel chose Frank, Thalia is a Hunter, Calypso broke up with me, and you—uh, I mean, Piper has you."
"You had a crush on Piper?!" I was mind-blown. And not in a good way.
"No. I meant, you two found love like way before even though you didn't know each other."
"Oh. Well, that would have been a cool thought . . . if we were together."
This time it was his turn to be shocked. "You two are perfect for each other!"
"Really?" I looked into his eyes to detect any sarcasm, and he gave a genuine smile.
"Uh, duh!"
"While we're on the subject of honesty. . ." I felt my palms sweat at even the thought of it. Was it even a good time? Leo could be understanding, but I couldn't bear it if he regarded me in disgust or we lost whatever we had between us.
"What?"
Never be ashamed of who you are, I thought. I always tried to follow that rule. If I was ever going to help lead, or protect people, I had to show them that I was worthy—that I was confident and comfortable with everything including myself. My mind was opened to whatever crazy things there were, and so I guess it was normal for me to become attracted to both sexes.
You can do this. You always wanted to. Say something!
Calmly, without my voice wavering, I said, "I love you." It was devoid of emotion, which may have been a problem. And maybe the word 'love' itself was stretching things too far. Let me tell you, it usually ended in the other person freaking out.
"Wait, what?" Leo walked closer, moving to my side.
My breath hitched. I don't think I could say it again. That was my moment of bravery; what I have always wanted to say. And, ironically enough, Leo didn't hear. "I'm bisexual." If I couldn't have the guts to say the first, at least the second would be an option.
"Oh, congratulations, dude!" We did a fistbump, which made me grin. "You know, it's nice to hang out with my best friend. You know what's a good match? Skies and fire."
"Really? I don't think that makes sense, actually." I tried to wrap my mind around the scene, but fire couldn't even reach the sky. I suppose the smoke from the flames reach into the air, but not completely.
"Warped logic." He gave a nod. "You see, the fire . . . it burns, ruining everything in its past and leaves it brittle or melted. The sky ahead changes its colours, and depending on the weather, sends lightning, rain, sunshine—in a technical matter, of course."
"Still don't get it."
"But the fire doesn't happen without three things: oxygen, heat, and fuel. And the sky doesn't change without the climate or environment. Point is, in my case, the sky and fire need each other and to do so it affects everything."
"From what I'm hearing, it sounds like you're just starting a science class."
"Oh." He blushed faintly. "What I'm trying to say, is that I will always need you, so shut up and let me be vague."
". . ."
"I mean that with kindness and respect, of course."
We continued to joke around, and maybe I was wrong, but Leo didn't think of Calypso too much. There weren't that much worries, because they washed away from us spending time—we felt loose, and could use sarcasm and humour with the other just getting it.
Our time went up to the point when we had to go to the Dining Pavilion, but I didn't want to leave. Not now.
One thing that did make me wonder, though, is if Leo pretended to not hear my confession. He had tilted his head to the side, going into a discussion about mechanical engineering.
I love you.
"—and that's why you should not exterminate pigeons."
"Wait, what?"
Leo gave a cheeky smile. "You weren't listening to me."
