Posing

"Be back by eleven!" Freddie called after his sixteen year-old son, Jason as he headed out the door with his girlfriend.

"I will," Jason called back, closing the door behind him.

"Well, she seems nice," Freddie said, turning to Sam.

"I don't like her."

"What? Why not? Eileen was so polite? Besides, Jason really likes her."

"I just don't," Sam said. "Did you see the way she couldn't keep her hands off him?"

"What are you talking about?" Freddie laughed. "All they did was hold hands under the dinner table!"

"I don't like PDA, if you must know."

"Come on, she even complimented your ham," Freddie said, rolling his eyes.

"Are you saying it didn't deserve to be complemented?"

"No, it was good. I just don't see why you don't like her."

"Because, she's trouble," Sam said, crossing her arms. "I have a bad feeling about her."

"Sam, she's in Advanced Placement classes at high school, volunteers three times a week at the children's hospital and was just accepted into Mensa! How is she bad news?"

"It's the sweet ones you have to look after," Sam said, picking at some leftover ham. "I just think Jason can do better than that girl! I don't like her. Hopefully their date will go bad and they'll break up."

"Who will break up with whom?" Carly asked, walking into the house.

"Do you knock?" Sam said.

"When have you ever once knocked when you come over to my place? Anyway, who's breaking up with whom? You know I love gossip."

"No one's breaking up with anyone," Freddie said. "Sam just doesn't like Jason's new girlfriend that he brought over for dinner tonight."

"Why?" Carly asked.

"She's bad news! She probably goes around robbing banks!"

"Yeah, okay," Freddie said.

"He's only sixteen, that's way too young to date anyway," Sam huffed.

"What? Are you kidding me? You let Emma go out on a date last week, without even asking me, I might add, and she's only twelve!"

"It wasn't a date," Sam said. "She was with five other kids."

"Really? So why was the only person she was talking about after some dude named Aiden?"

"Look, that girl just doesn't sit well with me. My son deserves some one a lot better than that-that gutter girl."

Carly laughed. "Gutter girl? Oh my God, Sam, you realize who you sound like?"

"No, please enlighten me," Sam said, grabbing a soda from the fridge.

"You sound like Freddie's mom right after you two started going out! My God, for all we know you're really her posing as Samantha Benson!"

"I do not sound anything like his mother!" Sam exclaimed, slamming the fridge shut. "I'm nothing like that freak show of a lady!"

"Yeah, she does sound like her," Freddie grinned. "I think she even called you a gutter girl too."

"So? That doesn't mean anything," Sam snapped.

"Admit it," Carly smiled. "You're just as over-protective of Jason as Freddie's mom was of him."

"When have I ever once give Jason a tick bath? Or made him wear cloud block? Or done any of those other ridiculous things she did?"

"Okay, maybe you're not that over protective," Freddie said. "But come on, Sam, you've got to admit that Eileen is a nice girl. And she makes Jason happy, isn't that all that matters? You know he won't love you any less."

"What makes you think that I-"

"Please, that's why you don't like her," Freddie said. "Heck, that's why my mom didn't like you. And that's probably why I'm not going to let Emma or Ashton date till they're thirty! And why you'll be going through this same exact thing again when Tyler's old enough to stop thinking girls have cooties."

Sam didn't say anything.

"Hey, you said the girl's name was Eileen?" Carly said. "Is her last name Jacobson by any chance?"

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "Why, you know her?"

"Spencer knows her parents," Carly said. "He sold them a sculpture once. I knew they had a daughter about Jason's age…they own the pie shop across from the mall."

Sam perked up. "Really? The one with the eight types of Boston cream pie?"

"That's the one."

"I love that place! Holy chiz, Jason better marry that girl; I could get free pie for life!"

"So you like her now?" Freddie asked, amused. "What happened to her being no good?"

"I didn't know her family was in the pie business! We have to tell Jason to bring her over again for dinner…that kid better not screw this up; hopefully he's not too much like Freddie in the romance department."

"Hey, I'm plenty romantic!"

"Daddy," Sam and Freddie's daughter, Emma said, coming into the kitchen. "Can you drive me over to Aiden's house? I wanted to-"

"Nope," Freddie said shortly. "No chance."