A/N: So, I know most of you were expecting a follow up to the fourth wall thing, but I want to replay Gusty Garden Galaxy so I have a better idea of what I'm writing about. I haven't played Galaxy since I got my wii u, so I'll have to start it all over. I don't know how far into the game it is, but I know it's pretty early.
Instead, you'll be getting a chapter about the Mario Kart people! That's why the chapters are labeled as "Karters". Anyways, to the chapter!
Chapter 20: Karters- Stop & Shop
It was the aroma that had waken Link up. He awoke from a deep slumber, filled with dreams of unspeakable-ness. Not because they were horrifying, but because they were so obscure that it would be impossible to put into words. He sniffed the air. His enhanced Hyrulian senses, plus his canine nose, only magnified the scent.
"...cookie?" He said, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. When he opened them, he saw none other than the princess herself, holding a tray of cookies in front of him, smiling. Her face had a white powdery stuff on it, and she was wearing an apron.
"I knew that'd wake you up! It can wake anyone up, even a snorlax!" She said. Behind her, on the single table that their room had, was a small, pink, easy-bake oven.
"How'd you get that?" Link asked, yawning. "And what time is it?"
"It was in my luggage, of course!" Peach said. "Oh, and it's five in the morning."
Well, she did pack a lot... He thought. "Wait.. five in the MORNING? Why?"
"I always wake up this early, and I was bored. So, I decided to wake you up. I tried everything, but nothing worked. Until I baked the cookies!"
Link looked around his bed. He just noticed that his whole blanket was soaked with water. Or was it...perfume? He almost threw up.
"This is disgusting!" He gagged.
"Aw, I can get that cleaned up for you! I also have a washing machine and dryer! Although... It might smell like me for a while..." Peach took the blanket off of him, and he was greeted with a cold chill.
"Ah!" He grabbed for his blanket, only to have it taken away from him again. "Why is it so cold?"
"Hey, it'll be okay!" Peach beamed. "Here, have a cookie!" Link was about to grab a cookie, when there was a knock at the door. Well, not an actual knock. Someone just yelled "KNOCK KNOCK!"
Peach opened the door to be greeted with the whole bus.
"Uh... Morning!" She waved at them.
"We smelled cookies!" Wario said.
"You have cookies?" Waluigi asked.
"There!" Bowser pointed at the tray in her hands. "Get them!" The whole bus stormed at her, and in a matter of seconds, everyone had a cookie in their hands. Everyone, besides Peach and Link.
"Gosh darnit." Link said. He fell back down into a laying position, and stared at the ceiling.
"Well... At least everyone else got a cookie!" Peach said, smiling.
Toadsworth walked into their room, eating a cookie. "I say, these cookies are superb! You did I fine job baking them, Princess Toadstool!"
"Uh... Thanks." Peach said. "Wait... Aren't you driving the bus?"
"Indeed!" The bushy, mustached man said. "Why do you ask?"
"Uh... Who's driving the bus now?" Peach felt her heart rate rise. Toadsworth had a terrible memory. Like, this one time he... Actually, I forgot what happened.
"Who's driving the bus... now?" Toadsworth got wide eyed. Then, the bus lurched forward. Yells sprung up throughout the bus.
"Oops." The old toad said. Peach and Toadsworth exited the bus. Link followed closely behind.
Apparently they on the highway, and they had just crashed into the divider dividing the cars going one way and the cars going in the other way. Thankfully, there was only one other car on the freeway, and they weren't hit.
Mario was there observing the crash. "Looks like we'll need to stop to get repairs." The front of the car was completely trashed. Toadsworth went inside and turned the engine on. Fortunately, it didn't explode.
"If we keep driving like this for long, the bus will break down, permanently." Mario said.
"Oh no!" Peach covered her mouth in surprise. "What do we do, Link?" The two of them turned around to see Link, who was striking up a conversation with the two young women in the other car, who had gotten out to see what had happened.
"Hey... I think I know you from somewhere!" One of them said. She had black hair, and was wearing a blue painting apron. She had a paint palette in her hand. (WHO'S THAT POKÉMON! I mean, WHO'S THAT VIDEO GAME CHARACTER?)
"Oh, really?" Link smirked. "I'm really well known around these parts."
"Yeah.. You're that one who dresses in green, right?" Said the other girl, who was dressed in a very, ahem, lacy (to say the least) dress, like Jessica Rabbit, except with black hair. (NAME THAT VIDEO GAME CHARACTER!)
"Yeah... That's me." Link said, trying to look cool, which was hard when dressed in Frozen Pajamas. Or was it easier? Get it? Cuz Frozen. HA
"Yeah... You're Zelda, aren't you?" The painter said.
"Yeah, he totally is!" The other one said.
"Zelda? Why you little..." Before Link could pounce on them, Peach and Mario grabbed his arms.
"Oh, sorry about him... He has an identity crisis." Mario said.
"Yeah, sorry about that! C'mon, Zelda, let's go!" Peach said. They dragged Link into the bus, who was saying some very rude things about their second cousins.
They drive away as fast as they could, and took the first exit. Finally, they found a repair shop, next to a huge mall.
"Alright, so repairs will take the whole day, so feel free to roam around." Mario said, talking to the whole bus, who had all met in front of the mall. "You can shop at the mall if you like, or eat at one of the fancy restaurants here! Just remember to meet here by five fifteen tonight." With that, he clapped his hands, and they were all let loose.
Wario, Waluigi, Bowser, the koopalings, and his minions ran to the all you could eat buffet. They'd be there all day.
Mario and Luigi went to an Italian restaurant for breakfast with Peach and Daisy. They even brought the baby versions of themselves. Toadsworth, Toad, and Toadette went to the nearby Mushroom Museum. Who would've thunk that one of those existed?
That only left Link and Villager.
"Well, I guess that leaves only us two!" Villager said.
"Yeah, the author just said that." Link replied.
"Where should we go?" Villager asked in wonder. He looked at all of the shops in the mall. There was so many! "Why don't we go shop for furniture, and clothes?"
"I won't buy anything, but sure. I'll just follow your lead." Link said, yawning.
"Awesome!" They left for the Super Mall...
The Buffet 8:30 a.m
Meanwhile, at the all-you-can-eat buffet, Bowser's gang was causing a ruckus. They had actually paid their fate to get in, but they were eating so much that the restaurant would be out of business anyways.
"Haha! Eat all you can, boys! Chow down and go to town!" Everyone who was there before they had arrived, we're not anymore. The pure chaos and food flying everywhere had driven them all away.
"My restaurant, she's gonna die if they stay here!" Chef Kawasaki said, observing the whole thing take place.
Knuckle Joe appeared from the kitchen, wheezing. "Boss! We have news!"
Chef Kawasaki looked at him, all anime style. "What, pray tell, is that news?"
"...she's ready."
Chef Kawasaki smiled. "Well... What are you waiting for?" He said, in a scarily calm manner. "Get it ready..."
He started laughing like a maniac, and Knuckle Joe awkwardly joined in. "Stop." The chef said. "You're cramping my style."
"So sorry." Knuckle Joe said, walking back into the kitchen.
"Well... I hope you can handle what I can dish out for you." He smiled evilly, then laughed at himself. He could be so punny sometimes.
The Restaurant 8:45 a.m
"Uh... Table for eight, please." Mario said.
The cashier looked behind Mario, one eyebrow raised. "That's, uh... Quite a family you have there."
"What? Oh no, we're not a family! The babies are just us from the past!" Mario pointed at the babies.
"Uh, right... This way please." The cashier led them to a table with a perfect view of the mall.
"Thanks!" Mario said.
"No problem. I'll be right there soon to take your orders." With that, she left. When she was out of eyesight of the group, she pulled out a walky-talky. "Hey, we got them right here."
"Alright, security will be right over." A deep voiced man said.
The Museum 11:30 a.m
Meanwhile, at the Mushroom-Museum, the three roads were currently being hunted down. Once they had entered, the museum curator had called security to get them. This place hasn't seen any toads before, and he thought that this was a new species of mushroom. Go figure.
"Are we safe?" Toadette asked, panting. Right now, they were inside the museum, trying to find a way out. They were hiding in a janitor's closet.
"For now, yeah." Toad said, panting even harder. "I think I'm gonna faint..."
"Oh ho! What's the matter, lad? I feel great, and I'm fifty years older than you!" Toadsworth said.
"You made me carry you!" Toad panted.
"Yeah, but I'm old! You have to treat your elders with respect!" Toadsworth said. This caused an uproar from the other toads.
The curator, a nice old man with a heavy passion for the fine art of mushroom loving, had walked by the room with his two security members, and they heard the bickering coming from the closet. The two security members were gonna kick the door down, but the curator stopped them.
"No, wait... I got this." The curator held an axe in his hand, and his glasses shone with a very evil glint.
He axed the door, causing a scram from the three roads. He stuck his head in and screamed "Here's Johnny!" Taking his head out, he said, "Hehe, I've always wanted to do that." He then took his keys and unlocked the door. "Seriously, though," he said to the hiders "come with me. Resistance is futile."
"Never!" Toadsworth screamed, hitting him in the junk with his cane. The curator screamed, and the bodyguards bent down to help the writhing man. The three runaways took their moment of opportunity and ran ahead of them.
"Get them!" The old man screamed, still on the floor.
"Yes boss." The bodyguards said, running after them.
The Mall, 12:30 p.m
"Oh, I'll take that one, and that one, and this one, and, oh my gosh! I need this one too! And this one and..." Villager was going crazy at the clothes shop, and was already named Customer of the Month.
Link was following him, looking at clothes. Nothing really caught his attention, until he reached the costume aisle, when an interesting aroma filled his nostrils. He swore he's smelled it before...
He followed his nose, which led him to two suits: one that looked almost like a brown raccoon, and one that looked like a pink cat. He smelled the pink cat one. It smelled exactly like... Peach?
"Hmm..." Link was about to touch it when an alarm sounded. A bunch of employees ran to him, following the manager.
"Congratulations!" Said the manager. "You're our one millionth visitor!" The employees cheered.
"Really? That's pretty neat." Link was too sleepy to care.
"Yep! And as a reward, you get the cat suit, and the tanooki suit, for free!" Everyone cheered as the suits were bagged up.
"Ohmygosh, you're so lucky!" Villager said, hopping of Link's shoulder.
What am I gonna do with these? Link asked himself. Then he got an idea. "Can you wrap those up as a gift?"
The Buffet 2:00 p.m
Bowser and his gang were still eating, and the cooks were slowly being cooked to death. Or, slowly being cooked to KOed, as Nintendo calls it.
"Chef, what do we do?" Knuckle Joe asked. He wiped the sweat of his brow as he prepared a dozen more dozens of moon cookies. "Don't worry..." Kawasaki said. He wiped his sweaty face with a cloth. "It's ready..." He took his plate of it, and walked outside. "Come and get it!" He yelled.
Bowser and his gang looked up from their plates, and saw it. "Wow, that looks delicious!" They all sprinted towards it, and they took a plate each. As they all ate the plate, a collective bead of sweat formed on their faces.
"Wow, this is pretty hot..." Wario said. He reached for his water, as did everyone else. When they drank, the temperature in their mouths skyrocketed.
"AAHAHAHAHAHA!" A scream sounded throughout the buffet.
"What did you put in it?" Bowser asked, fanning his mouth.
"Oh, nothing..." Chef Kawasaki smiled. "Just a couple of it." He held a couple of ghastly white peppers with a dark, purple, aura.
"Wha- no!" Bowser screamed in pain. He couldn't take it anymore! He started breathing fire everywhere, as did the koopalings. Fire farted a fire cloud, and the whole buffet burned down.
Chef Kawasaki laughed as their whole group ran away in the direction of the Italian restaurant, their butts on fire.
"Uh... Chef?" Knuckle Joe poked Kawasaki's side as he was on the floor, laughing.
"Yes, what is it." He said, wiping a tear from his eye.
"I hate to be the bearer of bad news in your moment of victory... But the whole buffet is burned down." He hadn't even finished saying it when the last pillar still standing left.
Chef Kawasaki looked around, taking in his surroundings. He looked Knuckle Joe dead in the eye, and said, "Worth it."
The Restaurant 2:30 p.m
"This is your last chance to tell me,WHERE IS HE?" A figure in black trench coat tickled Mario's toes again. Her fedora covered her eyes, so they couldn't tell how she looked like.
Security had taken them and had tied them to chairs in a row using rope.
"Ah! Ahahaha! Please stop!" Mario was in tears. "You haven't even told us who you're looking for!"
"Oh, right." The woman cleared her throat. "Well, about a year ago, I was working on my ranch, when I met this boy... He took my horse, and I never saw him again..." She clenched her fist. "Apparently... He's a time traveler... And you guys are time travelers..." She got up in his face. "So you must know him!"
Mario gulped. "We-we don't! I swear!"
Daisy nodded. "We're not time travelers! Even we don't know how these babies got here!" The babies, which were kept in a labels little play cage, like the Rugrats', laughed at the weird looking woman.
"Liar!" She tickled all of their feet with a special blue feather, which magnified the tickle sensation tenfold.
"Seriously, we don't know! What's wrong with you, woman!" Luigi yelled, farting from the laughter.
"Fine! If tickling won't get it out of you, this will..." She turned on the TV. "Welcome to the world of... Educational television!"
The yells of the two brothers and the two princesses echoed through the restaurant,and some say they can still hear the screams of them today, with the faint sound of "Dora the Explorer" in the background...
Not really. But that would be cool, right?
The Museum 3:00 p.m
"You would've thunk that a couple hoursof this would've been enough time for us to escape!" Toadette said as the three of them ran around a pillar from the curator and his bodyguards. They'd been running around the one pillar for hours.
"Well, when a chapter is laid out like this, stuff like this is bound to happen!" Toadsworth said in reply.
"How long have we been running?" Toad panted.
"About three and a half hours." Toadsworth said, looking at his watch.
"Wait... So it's 3?" Toadette asked. "That means that the author is finally writing about us again!"
"Finally!" Toad screamed. "Now let's do something of interest!" The three of them turned around, and smacked the three chasers when they rounded the pillar's corner. Then, they ran out of the museum, to the Italian restaurant to ask for Mario's help, with the curator stumbling behind them.
The Mall 4:00 p.m
Villager and Link finally finished shopping at all the shops Villager was interested in, so they went to one of Link's choices next. He decided to go to the pet shop, so he could get back in tune with his wolven self.
Link was looking at a bunch of cats when an alarm rang. Soon, he was surrounded by pet store employees, and the manager.
"Congratulations!" The manager said. "You're our millionth customer!" Him and the the employees clapped and cheered again. "You get a prize! This free cat!" They all cheered as the manager picked up a bright yellow cat, with a black underside.
Ugh. I hate cats. Link thought to himself. But I can't be rude. He took the cat in his arms, which were still holding the wrapped up suits. "Thank you!"
"Wow! You won again! So lucky!" Villager said. He's so lucky! Why can't I get the free stuff... I'm gonna follow him and get the next free thing for sure! Villager smiled, with his pure evil eyes shining.
I mean, have you ever looked at them straight on? It's freaking nightmare fuel!
Their next destination: the Italian restaurant.
The Restaurant 5:00 p.m
After two and a half hours of Nick Jr, they were about ready to make something up to get rid of the torture. The woman had left them in the room a while ago, and had just returned. She had given them each a remote controller, with a single button that would put the entire restaurant in lockdown, just in case the prisoners escaped.
While the others were getting their eyes on fire, figuratively, of course, Mario was formulating a plan in his mind. The first worker watching them was a young man, with long brown hair that could cover his eyes. He was dressed in all black, with leather, and he was rocking out with a wicked air guitar to some heavy metal music, which he blasted through his headphones. They were so loud that Mario could easily hear it for himself.
The other was also on his phone, listening to music, but he was listening to classical
music instead.
Mario finally spoke. "Ahem, so you hear about Yo-Yo Ma was here today, at the mall pool?" He looked at Luigi, and winked at him. The second guard looked up at them I interest.
Luigi looked surprised at first, then Mario gave him another wink, with his other eye. Luigi mouthed "Oh!" And nodded. Mario and Luigi had a knack for sending each other messages through facial expressions. It was pretty cool.
"Uh, yeah, that's pretty cool. But, it's not cool as [insert heavy metal band name here because I don't know any] playing at the buffet!" Luigi answered.
"What! Yo-Yo Ma?" The second guard jumped out of his chair and ran out the restaurant, followed by the other guard, who was chanting "Yeah! Let's go [insert same heavy metal band name]! Let's go!"
"Ugh. Finally." Mario said. He set his hand on fire, and burned the rope off.
"Wait, you could've done that the whole time?" Peach asked, rubbing her wrists as Mario untied her.
"Well, yeah! But I had to wait for the right time!" Mario's eyes shine. "To beat an enemy... You must have patience, young padawan."
"I bet writing that just gave the author a really neat idea for a story or chapter." Daisy said.
"Yeah, but he'll never write it. Y'know how it is, with copyright." Luigi said.
"Well... He's writing a story about something he doesn't own anyways..." Peach mumbled.
Luigi looked thoughtful. "Oh yeah."
"Guys! Stop breaking the fourth wall! That's Toon Link's job!" Mario screamed.
"Alright, fine." The other three said, pouting.
They grabbed the four babies, and they opened the door. On the other side was the same old woman, who was dragging a certain green-clad boy, who was tied up, behind her. A certain mayor was trying to drag the boy the other way, but his efforts were fruitless.
"Oh, yeah... I found the guy, so you can leave now." The woman said. She took off her shades and fedora, to reveal a woman with bright red hair, and sky blue eyes. She had pointed ears, similar to Link's. Not that you ever see Link's ears.
"Link? You have beef with this girl?" Mario asked.
"Apparently! I don't even know what happened! We went here to get a late lunch, when she attacked me at my table. I should've suspected something when I saw the sign that said 'People named Link get a free meal!'" Link sighed.
"Yeah, my plan worked perfectly! Except for this boy who tried to steal the meal from Link..." She glared at Villager.
"If you'll excuse us..." The woman kicked Villager away from Link, and put duct tape over Link's mouth. "We have... business... to discuss, so if you wouldn't mind leaving, that'd be great."
But you guys will never know what this 'business' was (you could always use your... IMAGINATION!), because at that moment, Bowser and his gang ran in, followed by the three toads, followed by the museum curator, followed by the two bodyguards.
"Come back here! You need to be inspected!" The curator screamed. That's when the three toads turned around. They were each holding an X-Bomb.
"Stop! Come any closer, and we'll blow you to smithereens!" Toad yelled.
He struck a match, and held it up to the bomb. One centimeter closer, and it would've ignited.
The curator stopped and put his hands up."Alright, I know where I'm beat..." The curator went back to his museum, looking quite dejected.
"Yeah! We did it!" Toadette said. She and toad high fived in celebration. Unfortunately, the hands they used also happened to be the hands holding the X-Bombs.
While this whole thing unfolded, Bowser and his gang were enjoying new food.
"Whew... I think I'm finally done with that pepper..." Bowser said, sitting down at a table. "Hey, waiter! Can we get about 20 menus over here?"
They had all ordered bomb-omb smoothies, because of the "explosive flavor" that it promised.
Wario had looked over at the manager's room, where Mario was arguing with the woman. He looked over at the woman, and saw Link, tied up.
"Is Link seriously getting kidnapped?" Wario said, giggling.
"Oh my gosh, how ironic!" Bowser started cracking up, and burped a little. As soon as he did, though, he got wide eyed again.
"Uh oh... I can taste the pepper again!" Within seconds, Bowser's mouth was on fire again, and he set all of their smoothies on fire.
Meanwhile, Mario was arguing for his friends freedom.
"What if we gave you a million coins?" Mario asked.
"Nope." She shook her head.
"Fine! You leave me no choice..." Mario took out two smart bombs. "If you don't give him back... I'll throw these on the floor!"
The woman smirked. "Do it. I dare you."
Mario squinted his eyes. He let out an action movie style smile, and threw the two bombs down at his feet.
The X-Bombs, Bomb-ombs, and smart bombs all exploded at the same time. A boom louder than one of Wario's farts sounded throughout the whole mall. The people inside the restaurant, which happened to be only the people mentioned in the story, saw fireworks inside their eyes. They were pretty sure fireworks were inside them, as well.
It was awesome.
When the dust cleared, the restaurant was gone, and a huge crater took its place. In fact, the whole mall had been blown to smithereens, except for the auto shop.
Peach was the first one to get up. Next to her was heaping pile of black, with rope around it. She turned it around and found Link, who was coughing. She quickly untied him.
"This day... sucked." Link whimpered. He was at the dead center of the whole explosion.
He went into a fetal position. A cat climbed out of his tunic, unscathed.
"Wow! A cat!" Peach took the cat in her arms. "She's so cute! Is she yours?"
"Yeah." Link mumbled. "Just take her."
"Great idea! We can raise him together!" Peach said. "We have the same room, so it'll be perfect! She frowned. "But what about after the karting... I guess that means I'll have to come visit you often after all of this is over, right?"
Link groaned. "Kill me."
"Oh! That reminds me!" She took a special cookie out of her... Pocket? I guess? Does her dress have a pocket?
"Here." She sat him up and gave him a cookie. It had a little frosting picture of Link's face on it. "Since you didn't get a cookie earlier, I made you another one!"
"Uh... Thanks." Link said, biting into it. It was warm, and immediately revitalized him. "Wow! This stuff is good!" He felt better within a few seconds. "You think you could bake more for me?" Link actually smiled.
"I'd love to." Peach smiled back. It was a wonderful moment of friendship. "Oh! What's our baby going to be named?"
Link thought about it. "Please don't call her 'our baby.'" He thought about it some more. "Cookie. Her name's Cookie."
"Cookie! That's perfect!" Peach took Cookie in her arms. Looking at Cookie, Link remembered his presents.
"Here." He said, taking them out. "This if for you and Mario."
She opened her present. "Oh my gosh! A cat suit! In pink? It's amazing! Thank you." She gave Link a quick hug and went to show Mario her new costume, along with his new costume.
Meanwhile, Villager was going through the woman's pockets. He found five bottles of Lon Lon Milk! "Hah! I knew I'd get something for free!" He quietly pocketed them, and whistled while walking away.
Mario's phone rang. After a quick phone call, Mario called everyone over.
"The bus is fixed!" Mario said. "Let's get out of here!...before we get sued." They all ran into the bus, and they were gone within the minute.
When the woman woke up, everyone was gone. "Uh... Link? Anybody? Hello?" She looked around, and found nobody. "My Milk's gone! Aaaarrrg! MARK MY WORDS, YOU ALL WILL PAY ONE DAY!" She screamed into the air, while random lightning flashed and rain fell on her. Literally, only her. Everywhere else was completely clear of clouds and rain.
A/N: Jeez, this was a long one! Anyways, a smashing time is almost ready to be released! And by almost ready, I mean that the first chapter has been written for months, and I've just been lazy to post it. But I have been revising it, to make it better! How a story does can be entirely determined by its first chapter, yknow!
In fact, it's actually out now! The first two chapters were released right before this chapter! Check it out if you want! Or not, that's ok too. Anyways, until next chapter!
