Arrangement
"I still don't understand how you set our sink on fire," Carly muttered as she picked up the remains of charred dishes from the burnt sink.
"Yeah, that takes a special sort of talent," Sam nodded.
"Look, I don't get it either!" Spencer exclaimed. "Just be thankful my duck cup wasn't hurt."
"Duck cup?" Sam repeated.
"Yes, it's a cup shaped like a duck," Carly said, rolling her eyes.
"It makes my milk taste better!" Spencer defended.
"Look, Spence, thanks to your little mishap here, we have no more dishes," Carly said. "Granddad's going to be here for dinner in less than two hours so can you go out and buy me a new pan and some plates? Please?"
"Jeesh, bossy," Spencer scoffed, but he headed out of the kitchen nonetheless.
"Hey, did you finish those leftovers from Four Guys?" Sam asked heading to the fridge.
"No, there still there for you to devour," Carly replied as Freddie walked into the apartment.
"Hola chicas," he said, heading into the kitchen.
"Hey, Freddie," Carly greeted him, tossing the black brick that used to be her sponge into the trash. "Thanks for uploading all those pics to the site for us."
"No problem," he nodded. He walked over to Sam, who was happily stuffing her mouth with fries.
"Hey pretty blonde," he grinned.
"'Sup?" she replied, as the couple shared a quick kiss.
"I thought you guys had six o'clock reservations for Pini's," Carly said, checking the time. "You'd better leave soon if you want to make it."
"I know, that's why I came over here to get Sam," Freddie told her.
"I'm ready," Sam said, throwing her food wrappers aside. "Come on, Freddison." She grabbed her purse from the counter, and then proceeded to punch Freddie's shoulder. Hard.
Freddie only grimaced, though, and followed after her with a slightly pained expression.
"Um, Sam," Carly frowned. "Why'd you just punch Freddie?"
"Because," she shrugged.
"Don't you think that was sort of…rude?"
"Have you just met me?" Sam laughed. "I'm a rude person!"
"Well, yeah," Carly agreed. "But I thought you were going to try to limit your aggression towards Freddie now that you two are a couple."
"We are," Freddie spoke up. "But we found out that when she doesn't hurt me at all, she takes out her pent up anger in less favorable ways."
"Like what?" Carly asked.
"Like throwing soda at cashiers when they ask her if she'd like to donate a dollar to the elderly," Freddie said.
"Hey, that guy was giving me attitude," Sam said.
"Anyway," Freddie continued. "I figured that in order to avoid her ending up in jail, I should come up with a sort of…arrangement."
"I'm afraid to ask what arrangement this is," Carly said.
"We decided that every Saturday, I get to have three free shots at Freddie," Sam said. "So long as they're not in his face or…that area."
"That way she gets her anger out," Freddie explained. "And nobody else suffers."
"Except you," Carly pointed out. "She's never hit me, but I'm pretty sure Sam hits kind of hard."
"Yeah," Freddie nodded. "But it's worth it. Because every time she hits me, shortly after she-"
He was interrupted as Sam pressed her lips to his.
"-Does that," Freddie finished as they pulled away.
"Perfect system," Sam smiled.
"Wow, that's sort of…sweet," Carly grinned. "In its own twisted sort of way."
