Chapter 3, in which I went to the Tourney at Harrenhal
It was an ocean of colours. The tents were so manifold, and I so small, that approaching the fields before Harrenhal seemed like diving into a deeply colourful sea of endless banners. Just coming closer made me eerily uncomfortable. True, I had the mind of a grown-up trapped in a toddler's body, but a toddler's body it still was. Not all of my reactions I was able to control, and this fright was one of them. It would not be until much later that I would understand why this situation felt so alien to me, so I shall not speak more of it now.
Instead, I wish to tell you of mine and Robert's arrival at our sumptuous tents, and how we met the first of many important people yet to come.
"Gods, I can't wait to wet my lance with a little blood," Robert exhaled as he finally sank into a chair prepared for him. "They say Lannister's son is a prodigy, have you heard, Romar? Hah, I sure would fancy knocking off that golden-haired prick!"
Ser Romar stood beside him and nodded. "It would be a match worthy to behold," he replied diplomatically before turning to me. "Though the little lady should not watch it."
I smiled at the knight. He was here for my personal protection, as both Stannis and the Maester had insisted upon. Clad in fine gold and black cloth, he stood easily as tall as Robert, and equally as bulky, so I felt terribly well protected in the man's presence.
Robert made a strange noise and downed his cup. "Why not? Should she not see her brother triumph?"
"The little one shouldn't see her brother fall," Ser Romar said a little more quietly.
"Fall? Mother's tits, I didn't take you for a stuck-up puny idiot like my brother, Ser Romar! Can you truly imagine a world in which a blonde-haired shit could best me?"
"Language," Ser Romar simply replied, looking at me.
Suddenly, Robert rose from his chair, apparently bored by the way the conversation was heading. He put down his cup, laughed, and then picked me up.
"Let's see where the Starks have put up their tent. Do you remember the Starks, Ellie?"
I nodded. "They're from the North, and they're wolves. Three boys and a she-wolf."
"Aye," Robert agreed proudly as we left the tent. "And do you remember their names?"
"Ned's your friend, isn't he?"
"He is! And his sister, my betrothed?"
"Lyna," I mumbled.
Robert laughed again. "Ly-a-nna," he corrected me kindly. "Please say it correctly when we arrive, will you, Ellie? We wouldn't want the she-wolf of Winterfell to be disappointed by you."
I nodded sweetly and clung closer to him as we approached the grey tents of the Starks. The sensations around me threatened to be overwhelming, all these people and horses and dogs and all those sounds of clacking swords, shields being repaired, and servants shouting at each other… but then, Robert's voice broke through them all.
"Ned!"
He put me on the ground and opened his arms to welcome a young man whose long stern face left no doubt about who he was.
"Good to see you," the Stark boy said. "You look well."
"Well, you've got fat," Robert replied as if this was some sort of insider joke. Both of them laughed heartily. Then, they turned to me. "Now tell me, Ned, isn't this the most beautiful girl you've ever seen? Come, Ellie, show the Lord Stark your courtesies."
I stumbled forward and attempted to curtsey as cutely as possible. "Lord Stark," I said. Then, when I looked up, Ned Stark was looking down upon me with a grave expression. He bowed a little before me.
"The honour is all mine, Lady Baratheon," he said earnestly. "You truly are as lovely as your brother claimed."
I was certain he only meant to flatter me, but somehow, it was nice to hear him being so courteous. I could really see myself grow up to a court of flatteries around me for a second. Then, I remembered why I was here, and turned to Robert again.
"Robbie…" I began, but he cut me short.
"Gods be damned, how long has it been, Ned? A year? And where's your sister, eh? I should pay her my respects, don't you think? Also, she will surely well like to meet my little Ellie."
Ned's face twisted in a strange way, but he replied nonetheless. "Of course she would. She's with the horses, Robert."
"Good, good! I'll see you later then, for supper?" Robert was positively beaming now. He patted his friend's shoulder for a moment, then turned around. "Come, Ellie. Let's go to the horses!"
And with that, he all but rushed away, leaving me behind for the first time in forever. For a second, I was stupefied and just watched as he left a helpless three-year-old behind. Then, however, Ned Stark addressed me.
"Do you want me to show you the way, Lady Baratheon?"
I will never forget this moment, short and seemingly insignificant though it was. And although I will always love Robert and Stannis and how they brought me up, this moment will always be different to me. Meaningful. It was then that I was first treated not as a helpless child, but as a sensible person in my own right. Yes, Stark had offered to help me because he felt pity for me (most likely), but he hadn't patronised me. He had straightforwardly asked what I needed, and left the decision up to me. I looked at him with great eyes, feeling like the grown-up I truly was for the first time in three years.
It was a terrific feeling.
"No, thank you, Lord Stark," I managed to say. "I am a big girl now."
Then, to make sure he didn't suspected anything, I giggled sweetly and ran behind Robert. I found him in an enclosed area obviously meant to be the makeshift stables of the Stark camp, already speaking to Lyanna Stark.
For a moment, I hesitated. Whatever they spoke about, I could not hear, but it was clear from their body language just what was going on. Robert, my dear brother, was truly and utterly besotted with her. Yes, he liked his flings with insignificant women once in a while, but I had reached the conclusion that he truly loved Lyanna. On our way to Harrenhal, he had been going on about her virtues and strengths without end. I knew he was capable of real love, for he loved me, and I believe he loved Lyanna with almost equal fierceness.
She, on the other hand, was so painfully obviously not in love with him that it hurt to watch. How could he not see how she recoiled from his every attempt to close the distance between them? How could he not see the uneasiness in her face? How could he not hear it in the way she spoke?
I sighed. Part of me wanted to help them, both of them, to solve this terribly awkward situation that fate had thrust them into. He was my beloved brother after all, and from what I had gathered, she was a decent person as well. Neither of them deserved this disaster. Neither of them deserved the tragedies yet to come. But unfortunately, this wasn't about what people deserved. This wasn't even about what they needed.
It was about what Westeros needed.
"Robbie!" I shouted and ran towards him. "You left me behind!"
Both of them turned around to look at me. Lyanna seemed surprised more than anything, while Robert, actually, seemed to feel a little guilty. He picked me up as I jumped into his arms to be at eyelevel with the grown-ups.
"Ah, well, allow me to introduce my lovely sister, the pearl of my world," he found his wits again as he showed me to Lyanna. "Ellie, this is Lady Lyanna Stark, my betrothed. Say hello."
I shirked away from her for a moment, not knowing how to proceed best.
"Hello, Lady Estelle," Lyanna gracefully solved the tension for me.
"Hello," I then returned, and was forced to smile. "Robbie told me you were a great rider – is that true? Can you show me?"
Robert blushed. Really, he could blush? I would have never guessed it. But Lyanna smiled, and nodded.
"When the time allows it, of course. Maybe I can teach you a thing or two. I also grew up with three brothers, you see?"
"Oh, I know, Robbie told me all about them. There's Ned, and the older one, Brandon, and a young one named Ben… or something. Robbie told me! Oh, but he likes you the best. He says you will be his lady wife someday, and come to live with us in Storm's End. Will you be my sister then?"
It was perfectly sweet and innocent, but I could see Lyanna flinch a little. I didn't think she disliked me, but rather the idea of being the lady of Storm's End because she knew what it entailed. She faked a smile well enough for Robert to buy it.
"It seems so, doesn't it?" she simply replied, and then turned around. "Speaking of brothers, I must go and find my brother Benjen. He might be in trouble."
"The lad can look after himself, he doesn't need a wet-nurse anymore," Robert objected. "Stay a little longer, please."
Lyanna flinched again. "I'm afraid I can't. We'll meet again soon, I promise, but I have to go find Benjen now. Now, alright?"
And with that, she was gone, leaving us to watch her all but run away. Robert grumbled a little, and put me down again. Then, he sighed, and looked at me. "Let's go, Ellie. We can take a little tour around the camp, see who's here. Would you like that?"
I liked it, and I also liked to impress my brother with my knowledge of the banners and crests of the great houses already camped around Harrenhal. He assumed the Maester, or perhaps Stannis, had already taught me this, when in truth, most of my knowledge came from what I remembered from the time before. It didn't matter much, though. It wasn't the first time I tricked Robert, it wouldn't be the last, and like most of these times, it wasn't really harmful.
As the day passed by, a message arrived cancelling all the plans Robert had had for a private family supper with the Starks. Instead, we had been invited into the castle of Harrenhal itself, to dine with the royal family. Robert seemed nervous when he received the summons, and spat out some swearwords, but he complied nonetheless.
"You cannot anger the king," he ruefully repeated the words that apparently, our father had told him before embarking on the ship to Essos. But his next words were Robert all over again: "How can you not anger that mad old fucker?"
This sentence kept replaying in my head as we ventured into Harrenhal together, me walking by Robert's hand, with my heart pounding. I had to make this situation count, I knew it, or else my chances of actual change might be diminished. For a moment, I felt so anxious that I was afraid of emptying my stomach right here, on the floor of the dining hall. Instead, I pulled myself together with all of my might and curtseyed as I was pushed in front of a chair.
"So this is her, huh?"
The voice was strange, and dark, but I had no doubt who it belonged to. No formal address, no courtesies… no one was allowed to behave like that, except for one.
"Your Grace," I said as loudly as my little voice could muster and remained in my curtsey.
"Look at me, child," he ordered, and I couldn't help but obey.
There he was, Aerys the Mad King, sitting right in front of me. He did seem a little weird, but not as crazy as I had expected him to be. Perhaps he was in a jolly mood today. Please, let it be so, I silently prayed.
The King raised an eyebrow. "She does look like Steffon, I grant you that. Shall we eat then?"
It was an awkward situation – these people sitting at a table together, unaware of the fact that very soon, most of them would be dead, or even worse, out to kill each other. There was, of course, King Aerys, with Queen Rhaella on his left and Prince Rhaegar to his right. Also, Lord Whent, who graciously hosted the tourney, was here with his wife. And behind us all, there were three knights of the Kingsguard, stern and solemn.
It was an uneasy night for me, I can tell you that.
After a while of listening to the grown-ups speak as if I wasn't there, fortunately seats were switched and the Queen sat next to me. She smiled at me in a gentle, motherly way.
"I knew your mother, Lady Baratheon. She would love to see you like this, all proper and well-behaved. I am sure she would be proud," she kindly assured me.
"I know she would. She loved me very much, she said so. I see it in my dreams."
Rhaella offered me some bread and broadened her smile. "Of course, sweetling. You're such a lovely young lady, just like my granddaughter, the Princess Rhaenys. Perhaps you want to come to the capital one day, and play with her?"
I nodded eagerly. "I want that. And I'll also play with your daughter, then."
The Queen's smile fell. "Alas, I'm afraid you cannot do that, little Lady. You see, the gods have not seen fit to grant me a daughter," she said sighing, with a painful side-glance towards her brother-husband.
"I know," I replied as innocently as possible. "But you will have one soon. I saw it in my dreams."
She gulped, and frowned, and obviously didn't know what to say for a very long time. I pretended not to notice and tried to carry on as if I was oblivious to her inner turmoil.
"When you say you saw it…"
"In my dreams, yes. I sometimes dream of things before they happen. Like that one time, when my brother Renly fell down the stairs, I had seen it in my dreams a week before. I warned him not to run, but he didn't listen! He's so silly sometimes… and then this, here, I saw it too. I told my brothers I was going here because I had seen it."
Her beautiful lilac eyes widened. "You saw all that?"
I nodded eagerly, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "Yes, and I saw you had a daughter. In a place surrounded by lots of water, and dragons made from stone, and there was a terrible storm outside. Like the storm that took mama and papa. But it spared me, and it will spare your daughter. I hope we can be friends then, she and I."
Rhaella all but froze, and didn't speak to me for many minutes. So I diverted my attention back to my food, and hoped I hadn't overstepped any boundaries. Before we reached desserts, however, I suddenly heard the King's voice interrupting all ongoing conversations.
"Baratheon," he bellowed.
Everyone looked at him instantly.
"Is it true?"
My brother cleared his throat, but didn't say anything.
"Your king asked you a question, Baratheon. Is it true that your sister possesses the gift?"
Robert looked at me, trying to keep his face calm, but I could see the storm raging beneath his reserved demeanour. It wouldn't be long before he said something stupid, so I decided to cut in.
"My brothers tell me I'm a godsgift," I sweetly told the king. "Because I survived the storm, and because I can see things in my dreams."
Eerie silence. I began to fear once more that I had gone too far, but suddenly, the king laughed. It wasn't a happy, joyful laughter, rather hollow and somehow unnerving, and nobody chimed in.
"If this is true, then at least one good thing came from Princess Rhaelle's marriage to your grandfather. Such a shame to see good Targaryen blood wasted on stags," the King mused, and took a sip from his cup. Then, he looked at me, his purple eyes piercing me like daggers. "Your father was a good man, girl. One of the few decent ones left. There are so many traitors around me, did you know that? Not a single good man left to trust. Only traitors."
"Father please, you cannot say that. There are many who have served you ably and loyally," Prince Rhaegar now interjected.
"Be silent, you fool," the King hissed, and looked at me again. "Did you see me in your dreams, child? Did you see your king?"
I nodded.
He laughed.
"Good, the blood of Old Valyria is strong in this one, even though she does not look the part. Tell me, child, what did your dragon blood show you about your king?"
"I can't. It's a secret."
He laughed again, and waved his hand at me. "Come here then, and tell only me."
Everyone watched as a knight of the Kingsguard helped me off my chair, and as I strode towards the king, and as I was put on another chair next to him. I had to stand on it rather than sit to whisper into Aerys's ear.
A painful chill ran down my spine. Whatever I said next could change the course of history, and it could pretty well also get me killed.
"I know," I then began to whisper. "I know there are men who are not true to you. Bad men who want to harm you."
He narrowed his eyes, but said nothing, trying to appear stoic.
"They will do something soon. I'm afraid. There's a knight with no face, riding under a laughing tree. He's dangerous, I don't like him."
"What else?" The King sounded like he was getting drunk on my voice.
"And I saw the Queen, on an island of stony dragons, and she had a baby there. A little princess. And I saw you, on a big chair made from swords, surrounded by fire. The wolves came and tried to harm you, but you fought them with fire."
Aerys smiled as he listened. He smiled so darkly it almost made me vomit. But I had to do this so as not to disturb the chain of events yet to come. The more I changed, the less I knew about what would happen, and unfortunately, I needed Aerys to go completely mad. I needed him to commit all the atrocities he was about to commit. I didn't like it one bit, but when I left him to return to my own chair, I could see the glimpse of madness in his eyes.
"A dragon dreamer indeed," he then announced. "Consider yourself blessed, Baratheon."
"I do, Your Grace," Robert finally found his voice again. "Estelle is the pearl of my world."
"And such a lovely little lady she is," Rhaella agreed, still seemingly distraught (or thrilled?) by the prospect of having a daughter at last. "She could be a companion to your daughter, Rhaegar. Wouldn't you like that?"
The sober young prince nodded hesitantly. "When she is a little older, she is more than welcome in King's Landing."
I yawned loudly, causing Lord Whent to laugh.
"Look, the little one's tired," he said.
I tried to appear worried. "I am sorry, did I do something wrong?"
"No love," Rhaella assured me. "It is getting late for a young lady like yourself, though. You should go to rest, don't you agree, Lord Baratheon?"
"Of course. I'll send a servant to fetch Ser Romar."
The King anxiously asked: "Who is Ser Romar?"
"A sworn knight of house Baratheon, Your Grace," Robert explained with all the patience he could muster.
"Pah. The girl's worth more than some upstart hedgeknight with antlers. She should have a proper knight to make sure she arrives safely. Ser Arthur, accompany the girl."
Robert certainly didn't like the insult, but I giggled inwardly. What a splendid opportunity, I thought! So I took my leave of the lords and ladies gathered, and followed the knight clad in white outside the castle.
A huge wave of relief washed over me, and I felt free once more. Like a sweet little child, I ran next to the Kingsguard knight, and looked up.
"You're the Sword of the Morning," I stated in a wise guy fashion.
Ser Arthur met my glance and nodded approvingly. "And you're the Godsgift."
"My brother Stannis said you're one of the best knights in all the seven kingdoms," I went on. "And you hold a very powerful sword. And you have a very beautiful sister."
Now, I could hear a strange sound coming from him that almost sounded like a chuckle.
"Stannis Baratheon said my sister was beautiful?"
"No, he didn't. I said it. She is very beautiful. I saw her in my dream. I saw her dancing at the tourney. She's also here, isn't she, but she wouldn't like Stannis anyway. She likes the eldest Stark boy."
Suddenly, Ser Arthur stopped, and turned to look directly at me.
"Who told you?"
"No one," I replied innocently. "I saw it in my dreams. Dragon dreams, the King calls them. I also saw you, you know."
He knelt down before me, his face exhibiting a very serious expression. "What did you see?"
For a moment, I was surprised by the fact that apparently, he took me seriously, but then I remembered the Daynes were an old family, also boasting some kind of Valyrian descent, and I simply guessed he knew about Daenys the Dreamer and other such stories. And when the King took my words to be true, how could a Kingsguard knight not?
"Oh, it was not a nice dream," I said in a sorrowful voice. "You were in a very hot place, with no trees or flowers or water. And there were wolves coming to you, and you held that powerful sword, and you fought the wolves. And then they… they killed you." I sniffed. "And it was all for nothing."
He still looked dead serious. "What do you mean?"
"It was all for nothing! You were protecting a little dragon pup, and you thought the wolves had come to harm it, but they hadn't. They would have never harmed it! They were not your enemies, but you still fought, and you died, and then darkness came over the world."
Ser Arthur raised an eyebrow. "A 'dragon pup', you say?"
I nodded, and tried to squeeze out a little tear. "Please don't die, Ser Arthur. When the wolves come, don't fight them, please. Just speak to them, they can hear you, they will understand you. It's not the wolves you should fear."
He offered me a handkerchief and waited until I had regained my composure. Then, he sternly nodded.
"I won't fight any wolves, if it means so much to you," he kindly said.
"Thank you," I whispered, smiled, and then dared to hug him. "Can you carry me? I am tired."
He did, he picked me up and carried me all the way back to my tent, and on our way I clung so tightly to him that he must have felt it even through his heavy armour. It was the least I could do to coerce him into forming an emotional attachment to me, hoping, nay, praying that he would remember me and my words when the time came.
There were some deaths that had to happen, but his wasn't one of it.
I could only hope.
Feel free to review. Next time, you'll see some more conversations at Harrenhal and an acceleration of events. Stay tuned!
