A/N: If you would like to see any guests stars that aren't even in Smash (or Nintendo) then I'd be happy to read any suggestions!
Gotta get this chapter done quick, so I can focus on finals and still have chapters to upload. Plus, I gotta get to the Splatoon Testfire Demo! I preordered the game, so next week can't come soon enough! To the chapter!
Chapter 29: The Dash to the Diner
Villager was in high spirits. Sure, Toon Link refused to carry him once they reached the ten mile-high hill (it's just a name, of course), but he felt like he was a hero, who was embarking be on a daring adventure to save the day! At least, that's how he saw himself.
Toon Link, on the other hand, was just happy to not have a Villager-sized load on his back.
They were walking up the hill, having a rap battle, when they came across a gigantic purple rock, right in the middle of the road. Typical.
"Oh! I know how to fix this!" Toon Link yelled. He threw his entire supply of bombs at it with his anime windmill arms (I hope you know what I'm talking about when I say that). The explosion knocked the two of them all the way back to the bottom of the hill.
"Nice going." Villager said, dusting himself off.
"I know, right?" Toon Link said. "I'm a genius!"
When they walked back up to where they were, they found the rock, still intact. There didn't even seem to be a crack in it.
"What? That's impossible! Nothing can stand the night of my bombs!" Toon Link said.
"Nothing except every wall that doesn't have a hidden passage behind it." Villager shrugged. He earned a very stern look from Toon Link.
"Well... What do we do now?" Villager asked.
"I know!" Toon Link yelled triumphantly. "We get rid of the rock!"
"Thanks, Toon Link." Villager said.
"I'm here to help!"
They tried everything, from shooting arrows at it to chopping down a tree onto it. But nothing made it budge until Toon Link punched it.
His punch caused the rock to vibrate, and before their very eyes, a masculine face formed on the rock and looked at them.
"Who dares awaken me?" The rock face boomed. The ground vibrated whenever he spoke, causing Villager and Toon Link to stumble.
"Woah! That was quite a punch!" Villager gasped.
"Yeah..." Toon Link examined his fist with wonder. "Little Mac's got something coming to him!"
"Sorry to burst you bubble, but I only awaken for the weakest forces." The rock face looked around him, and he saw all of the holes that the explosions from the bombs had made. "That examines why your bombs didn't work."
"Well, that makes more sense!" Villager cheered, earning himself a punch from Toon Link (that didn't hurt).
"Anyways..." Toon Link grumbled. "Can we pass or not?"
"Eh... Maybe." Stone Face said. "Oh wait, no you can't."
"Aw cmon!" Toon Link yelled. "What if I sang you a song?" He took out a banjo and stuck a C major chord. "Ohhhhhhhh...!"
"No!" Villager screamed, kicking the banjo out of his hands. "Don't you dare! You duck at singing!"
"Jeez... tough crowd." Toon Link shrugged.
"There is nothing you can do to make me move!" Stone Face yelled. "Unless..."
"What? What is it?" Toon Link asked.
"Well, I'm a big fan of puzzles." The stone beamed. "You could say a certain gentleman has taught me the ways of puzzle-solving."
"Let me guess... I gotta solve a puzzle to move forward?" Toon Link asked.
"Yep, that's about it."
"Hey, Toony!" Villager yelled from the other side of the rock. "We could've just climbed above the rock the entire ti-"
"Shut up, Villager! I need to solve this puzzle to get across!"
"But-"
"Shush!"
"Ok, this puzzle is a simple riddle, because the author can't display an actual puzzle in a story." Stone-Face said.
"Let me at it!"
"Alright..." The rock (not the actor, the barrier) cleared its throat, and continued. "What is..."
"Seventeen lobsters!" Toon Link shouted. Villager was quietly face palming.
"Wait a minute... that's correct!" Stone Face cheered. "Congratulations! I guess I have to die now!"
"Wait, what?"
Instantly, the rock exploded, blowing the two kids onto their butts again. Toon Link stood up, and saw, among the debris, a shiny green stone that appeared to have a thunderbolt in it. "Whoa! What is this thing?"
"Woah! I know what it is!" Villager ran up to Toon Link and took it from his hand. "It's a thunderstone!"
"Hey! That's mine! I'm the one who earned that... thing!" Toon Link snapped, snatching the rock back.
"You don't even know what it does!" Villager said. He took the rock back. "I can at least put this to good use." Villager wagged the stone in front of Toon Link's face mockingly, and ran up the hill.
"Hey! Come back here! That's mine!" Toon Link yelled. Not thinking about his hookshot, he ran after the mayor in an attempt to take back his stolen treasure.
Toon Link was a born runner. The cuckoos had taught him well. At the top of the hill, he tackled Villager, and the two of them started tumbling down the other side. Sadly, neither knew that the cactus fields awaited on the other side.
The two made it through the fields easily. If beating Championship Road in Super Mario World on the very first try without practice is easy. Even better, it only took them half an hour of constant falling to get through it!
"Ow..." Villager groaned when he tumbled out of the cactus field, and onto the first rock of the Pointy Rock Land.
Eventually, he gathered enough strength to make it back onto his feet. He dusted himself off, and looked around. Toon Link was nowhere in sight.
"Haha! It's mine!" Villager yelled in delight.
"Omf! Ouch! Oh gosh! Oh, that actually felt pretty nice... ouch!" Toon Link's voice was heard just behind Villager.
Villager turned around and saw Toon Link flying towards him. He had just made it out of the cactus fields, unfortunately.
He crashed into Villager, and the two of them were knocked right into the Pointy Rock Land.
After another half hour of falling, the two made it to the bottom of the hill.
Villager landed first, and Toon Link soon landed on top of him.
"That wasn't too bad!" Toon Link cheered, standing up. However, when he tried to take a step, he exploded into a billion pieces.
"Aw c'mon, Toon Link! Not again!" Villager sighed. He put the sword wielder back together again.
"Gee, thanks!" Toon Link said.
"Don't mention it." Villager replied.
With that ordeal out of the way, the two looked in front of them. A great expanse of these stood in front of them. Something about the woods seemed... magical. A gigantic tower with no doors could be seen far away, and there was a fancy looking guy desperately trying to climb it, to no avail. In the distance, they could see a small girl, about their age, with a red cloak and a basket, skipping through the woods while singing a song.
"Wait... I know where we are!" Toon Link exclaimed in shock. "This is the famous Fairy Tail Woods, aka 'the woods!'"
"The Fairy Tail Woods, eh?" Villager mumbled. "Wonder why they call it that."
Meanwhile, an ogre and donkey flew away on a pink dragon overhead.
"I have no idea." Toon Link said. After looking at the woods a bit more, he said, "well, it's no use just sitting here! Let's get a move on already!"
"Alright... I guess. It's just that," Villager gave the woods an anxious glance, "something doesn't feel right about these woods."
"Are you kidding me? Did you not see the small girl run by? If she can survive out there, we can!" Toon Link said. "Don't be such a wimp!"
"Eh... Alright." Villager nodded. "Lets go... into the woods." They entered the forest, unaware of the wolf that had stalked the little girl and devoured her.
Upon entering the forest, the two boys could instantly feel a difference in the air. There were bright light particles of various colors floating high above the trees. When they looked up, the bottom of the trees looked almost identical to a clear nighttime sky, filled with stars.
"Wow! It almost looks like a nighttime sky!" Toon Link said in awe.
"Yes, the narrator just said that." Villager said. "Anyways, we can't diddly daddle! We have to get going!"
"What?" Toon Link said. He was sitting on the soft, grassy floor, with his head pointing upwards. His eyes were glossy, and he seemed to be in a trance. He soon started drooling.
"Oh no! The light things are hypnotizing you!" Villager screamed. He shook Toon Link, who awoke with a start.
"Huh? What?" Toon Link asked.
"You were almost hypnotized!" Villager said. "Good thing I was there to save you."
"Nah, I'm just an airhead." Toon Link chuckled. "Let's get going!"
The two walked on, using a convenient pathway as a guide. They went interrupted through the woods for about an hour. Eventually, they reached an extremely small bridge that connected the land between a tiny river that was small enough to jump over. It also seemed only a inches deep.
"Why have a bridge over a river this tiny?" Villager asked. "Seems suspicious if you ask me."
"Well, I didn't ask you!" Toon Link said. "I won't let no bridge tell me where and where not to cross! I'm a free man!" He ran at the bridge and jumped over. However, while he was in the middle of the air, a hand appeared from under the water and grabbed him. With a swift tug, it threw him back to the side of the river that he was already on.
"Hey! What gives!" Toon Link yelled. The wrinkly, gray hand made a very rude gesture at him and disappeared under the water. "Well I never...!"
"The bridge it is!" Villager exclaimed.
The bridge was very small, similar to the ones in his village. He was about to step on it when a deep, gravely voice called him, "Stop! Don't touch my bridge!"
Out from the water came Morgan Freeman.
Well, not really, but it would be cool if he did. Instead, a giant gray troll of about twelve feet rose out of the water. Villager staggered back in horror as the troll climbed onto the bridge and looked at him gravely. They stayed like this for half an hour.
Finally, the troll spoke. "Please don't touch my bridge! I worked very hard on it and your shoes are very muddy!" It said in a higher and gentler voice than before.
"W-what?"
"My bridge! I just finished it this morning, you know. Oh, the joy of craftsmanship! Last week I made an absolutely stunning basket! It was fit for a king, really! But sadly, there are no kings around here, so I satisfied myself with giving it to a baker. A nice lad, if I do say so myself, if not a bit serious at times. Anyways, the strangest thing happened earlier! I saw a little girl, and she was carrying a basket that looked exactly like the one I just made! Oh, and then I thought 'that must be his daughter!' but- oh no! I remembered that the baker told me that his wife is incapable of getting pregnant! What a travesty! Anyways, so I-"
"Ok! I get it!" Villager yelled, although he still was not sure what the heck this troll was talking about.
"Hey! I find these stories intriguing!" Toon Link said, looking at the troll with his cat eyes. "Tell me more!"
"Alright, honey! So, I was collecting wood from-"
"Aw, screw this!" Villager said, "I'm jumping over!"
"Whoa! You can't say 'screw!' That's a bad word!" Toon Link gasped.
"Oh no you don't!" The troll said sassily, grabbing Villager by the shirt and pulling him back. "That river is dangerous, and I can't let a sweetie-pie like you be endangered!"
"Then why can't we use the bridge?"
"Oh, you can use the bridge. After you clean your shoes up."
"Ugh..." Villager mumbled. He took off his shoes and walked up to the river.
"Whoa! You can't use this river!" The troll exclaimed. "You'll anger them."
"What?" Villager asked as he dipped his shoes into the river. Instantly, the clear blue water of the river turned brown, and a bubbling started where the shoe was dipped in.
"Oh, you've done it now!" The troll said. "Cmon, baby. Let's get you to a safe place." The (assumed) trollete grabbed Toon Link and ran behind the nearest tree.
"Uh oh." Villager gulped as the bubbling got greater and bigger. Just when he thought the bubbling couldn't get any more intense, a figure shot out of it and floated above the river. No, the figure was the river. A gigantic tentacle made of river floated extended out of the water, whipping at Villager.
"Oh no!" Toon Link yelled. "It's Morpha! Villager's doomed!"
The tentacle whipped at Villager again, causing him to shuffle back while sitting down. "Um... Oops."
"Attack the weird red thing!" Toon LinI shouted at it.
"Thanks! I did not think of that at all!" Villager screamed back sarcastically. He crept up to it, only to have it snap at him again. He ran back to his original spot with fear. "How will I get to it?"
"I dunno! Maybe you should find another way past it." Toon Link yelled.
"That's not a bad idea!" The troll added. "Try befriending him!"
"Look, I dunno what kinda fantasy land you're living in, but you can't make friends with a water tentacle monster!" Villager yelled.
"Wait... Him?" Toon Link asked.
"Yeah. Morpha's a guy. And he's also my guy!" The troll looked at the tentacle monster dreamily. "Isn't he cute when he's worked up like that?"
"You've got to be kidding me..." Toon Link mumbled to himself. "A troll and a... water thing. Well, to each their own."
Meanwhile, Villager was being slapped repeatedly on the butt by the tentacle monster. It moved up and down, as if it was laughing.
"Can I get a little help here?" Villager yelled.
"Wait... I thought Link killed Morph a long time ago." Toon Link pondered.
"Oh, you mean that ugly human?" The trollete chuckled. "It's true. That monstrosity bested him in battle, but a monster can't simply be killed."
"Neither can video game characters..." Toon Link thought. Insert foreshadowing here.
Anyways, while the two were chatting behind the tree, Villager was being flung throughout the air by the tentacle. Morpha could now be heard laughing. It was like a toddler playing with a toy.
Quite sad, if you ask me.
"Hey, ouch, what, ouch, are, ouch, you guys, ouch, doing! Ouch. Help me!" Villager yelled. Finally, Marpha had had enough and threw him over to the other side river, and hundreds of feet forward.
"Well, it looks like Villager made it. I should get going." Toon Link said. He wiped his shoes on a nearby bush, and he walked past the river using the bridge.
"Take care honey!" The trollete yelled while waving at him. Morpha was also waving.
Toon Link found Villager in a nearby bush. His hair was standing up and his clothes were ripped in at least three different places. It wasn't Villager's greatest moment.
"Hey, you alright?" Toon Link asked indifferently.
"..." Villager just glared at him.
"Hey, it's not my fault!" Toon Link chuckled. "You're the one who got in his way."
"Whatever." Villager scoffed. "Anyways, while I was flying through the air after being thrown by Morpha, I saw a road. Y'know, for driving on. I think it's the one we used to get to the meadows!"
"Cool. Let's get going, then." The two backtracked and finally found a fine black road. They followed it for about an hour when they reached a peculiar building.
It was an old fashioned diner, like the ones you see in those surfer movies. From outside, they could hear the sound of metal cleaning against medal.
"Woah! What's happening in there?" Toon Link asked.
"Dunno. Wanna check it out?" Villager asked. Just then, they heard a very recognizable yell.
"Hyah!"
"Oh? I think I already have a big clue as to what's going on in there..." Toon Link said.
Upon entering the diner, they were met with another interesting site.
Link and Peach were sitting a table, the only table still standing, drinking milkshakes and eating hamburgers, and casually talking to a young lady in an orange maid outfit. Everything around them was completely destroyed.
Link and Peach were wearing clothes made completely of leaves, and their skin was slightly tinted blue.
Not only that, but piles of unconscious men with swords lay around the diner. Link also had a cat in his hands.
The two boys looked at Link and Peach in utter confusion. The two looked back with surprise.
"Um... hi." Peach finally said.
"...good luck explaining this one, guys..."
A/N: Welp, now to find a way to explain what happened to Peach and Link to make them end up like they did! You'll see what I came up with in the next chapter! Until then!
