A/N: It's time for, you guessed it, Smashventures! The last of the karter chapters (for now) is this one. I gotta get Villager, Link, and the rest of the karters back to Smash-City so that I can start on a certain request that I got a looooong time ago (sorry about the long wait, thehobkinauthor).

And someone told me that I use "I'm" instead of "in" in most cases. Some of you may be confused why I do that. Well, it's because I type up my stories on my phone most of the time, where autocorrect is a straight up *censored*, but a necessity. I will try to fix all of it though, using the computer! Anyways, to the chapter!

Chapter 31: Going Home

Read this next part in the Pokémon intro guy's voice, or the Dragon Ball Z intro guy's voice:

The two pairs of journeying heroes crossed paths at the most unlikely of places. Is this pure coincidence, or is it something more... intricate?

After exchanging numbers with their newfound waitress-friend, the elder pair made up their mind to escort the others to Moo Moo Meadows, where the most unexpected thing yet still awaits them. Is their return to the meadows a bad omen, or is it destiny? Stay tuned to find out!

End narration here.

After the theme song played, the four smashers started to head in the direction that LinI and Peach came from. Peach had held on to Link's arm in a civil manner because she always needed an escort when in the presence of other people. She usually asked him to be her escort at royal parties, such as a royal wedding or a birthday, so he was used to it. There was a lot of weddings and birthdays in the royal world.

"Hey, can you believe that waitress offered to send me to law school?" Link said. "Crazy."

"I dunno." Peach said. "I think you should go for it!"

"Eh. I'll think about it."

After a few minutes of walking, and a few minutes of Villager and Toon Link rehearsing their grand entrance to the meadows, Link noticed that Peach was clutching his arm pretty tightly, and every once in a while she would squeeze it. Not only that, but her arms were shaking and her eyes were clouded.

"Hey Peach, you okay?" Link asked.

Peach looked flustered at the sudden inquiry. "Um... Yeah. I'm fine..." Peach mumbled. Then, without any warning, she passed out.

"W-what just happened?!" Link asked, examining the KO'd princess in his arms.

"Oh no! It must've been the food! I knew something was fishy with it!" Toon Link gasped. "I know bad food when I eat it!"

"What? You mean the chef poisoned it?"

"No. I'm just saying the food tasted like dirt."

"Well, how come you two didn't pass out?"

"We eat dirt all the time!" Villager said.

"Um, ok. Anyways, we need a doctor! Toon Link! Villager! Run off in both directions of the road! When you find someone that can help, bring them back here! I'll stay here and keep her safe."

"Yessir!" Toon Link ran off in the direction of the diner, and Villager ran off in the direction of the meadows. Cookie was napping on Peach's dress.

Link turned Peach on her side and hoped that the two boys would be back soon.

Five minutes later, Toon Link came back with a man that looked very similar to Mario, except he was taller and fatter.

"Guys! I found a doctor!" Toon Link yelled.

"The name's Talon! I'm a rancher, but I studied medicine on the side. I had aspirations before I became a cow milker!" The man chuckled.

"That's great. Can you help her?" Link desperately asked. He gestured to the girl laying next to him.

"I see you turned her on her side. That's very good! Don't want her to choke on her own saliva and vomit, now do ya?" He chuckled again.

"Sir! Please!" Link said.

"Ah, alright!" He glanced at Peach for a second, and said, "lad, just push her on the chest. She'll be fine after that."

"What? But her..."

"Do you want her to die?"

"Oh no, sir! On it, sir!" Link said. He flipped Peach onto her back and started pushing her chest with both hands.

After a couple pushed, Peach coughed, and her eyes opened suddenly. She immediately went into a coughing fit of epic proportions.

Ten minutes later, Peach was back on her feet again.

"Oh, thank you so much for your help!" Peach said, shaking the man's hand. "What is your name, stranger?"

"The name's Talon!"

"Wait... Talon? I think I know you from somewhere..." Link's mind raced back to the mall, where he was being pursued by a certain rancher.

"You wouldn't happen to be Malon's father, would you?" Link asked nervously.

"Well, this boy's informed!" Takin chuckled. "But don't think I'll let just anyone have her. Especially not a grass-wearing pretty-boy such as yourself. No, she needs a real man, and she's already set her sights on one! That Link fellow sure is something else, I tell ya! She went so far as to pursue the boy and his princess girlfriend to the meadows."

Link gasped. His assumptions were correct.

"Wait, so you mean that this is... her father?" Toon Link asked. Link nodded.

"Wait... Did you say, his 'princess girlfriend?'" Peach asked, getting red. Whether it was from anger or embarrassment, even she doesn't know.

"Yeah I did. Even got a picture of them sent to me from her. Lost it though. But I remember the clothes well. A weird pair, those two were."

"Um... hold on a second, please." Link said. He and Peach rushed off the road and behind some trees.

"What're they doing back there?" Talon asked.

"I don't know for sure, but I have a pretty good idea of what it could be." Toon Link said.

A couple minutes later, during which Villager arrived back, Link and Peach stepped out of the woods, dressed in their original clothing.

"Wait... You're the two people my daughter's been rambling about! The fairy-boy and his princess girlfriend!" Talon yelled in surprise.

"Wait, we're not actually dating." Peach rushed to say.

"Right..." Talon said sarcastically. "Anyways... Who would've thought sending the message would've been this easy!"

"Wait... what message?" Link asked.

"I have a letter for you from Malon. She asked me to give it to you. I have read it. She didn't want me to." Talon handed him a letter that smelled like grass.

"Well, I came here to deliver a letter, and I guess I did that. It's time for me to take my leave." Talon waved goodbye to the four smashers, and he went off in the direction of the diner.

"We've just got a letter! We've just got a letter! We've just got a letter! I wonder who's it from?" Peach sang.

"Actually, we already knew it's from Malon, so..."

"Shut up, Link! Don't ruin my references!" Peach yelled.

"Whatever." Link said. He opened the letter. "Here's what it says:"

Link,

It is I. Malon.

Pretty epic first impression, don't you think? I'm all about first impressions, and you left quite an impression on me...

Now, it occurred to me that you may not have known this, but Epona is a very special horse to me. She was a horse I raised since it was born until you took her from me in a race with Ingo. But the damage is already done. You left me for years, and when I finally track you down, you take my horse, and you're with some pompous chick with an identity crisis. It hit me pretty hard.

But life went on. I even moved out and got my own restaurant (the one Mario destroyed, thanks for that btw). I even lived close enough to see the Turf Wars between the squidlings!

But everything changed when the fire nation attacked. For your information: Fire nation= you (potential crossover chapter incoming...?).

I had finally gotten over you and Epona when your bus pulled up. When I first saw you... I'm gonna be honest, my heart skipped a beat. But then I saw her right behind you. Sure, she didn't really talk to you while you were there, but I saw the way she looked at you and the way you looked at her.

Anyways, skipping to after I woke up to my exploded restaurant (see chapter 20 if you forgot). When I woke up, I knew I had to follow you. I knew that if I didn't get you now, I never would. I also knew that that pompous princess with you had to go.

At Moo Moo Meadows, I followed you guys into the shed, and I was the one who tripped you. I admit it. I can't get you now anyways, the most I can hope for is revenge for what you did to me.

Anyways, I was hoping to trap Peach in the burning building and then rescue you, but I was separated by the fallen rubble and was forced to flee. Thankfully you lived, but she did too,

Now, back to the revenge part. I'm still at Moo Moo Meadows, and I am planning to break the crystal right before they start racing. If all goes according to plan, your friends will all destroy each other. One push of a button will do it. Of course, you can stop this. Just come to the barn before the race starts ALONE, and come live with me away from everyone else for the rest of your life. It's just an offer, but it's one I don't think you'll be able to refuse.

-Malon

"Well, poop." Link said.

"Is it true? Do they like each other?" Villager discretely asked Toon Link.

Toon Link looked at him in a serious manner. "I hope not! Poor Zelda..."

"Hey, does she even like Link? She seems so reserved towards him." Villager asked.

"I'm sure of it. I live with them, after all." Toon Link responded.

"Hey, what are you two talking about over there?" Link asked.

"Oh, nothing!" Villager quickly replied.

"Uh huh. Sure." Link said. His woven ears had caught what they said, but he didn't bother chasing the subject. There were more pressing matters at hand.

"So, what're you going to do?" Peach asked worriedly.

"I... I guess I have to go with her." Link shook his head. "I can't believe it."

"I can't believe you have to go with that villain either!" Villager said.

"No, that's not it." Link said. "The Malon I met was happy and carefree. We were really good friends, and for the couple hours I was there. She left quite an impression on the kid-me (because I have no idea which Link is the one in smash-bros), just like I apparently left an impression on her. I don't believe that she could do something like blackmail."

"Well, the truth of the matter is that she did blackmail you, and there's nothing any of us can do to deny the fact." Peach sighed. "So, what're you going to do?"

"I guess... I'm going with her." Link said. "Don't try and argue with me! I've made up my mind."

"But you can't!" Toon Link yelled.

"Sorry, but I have to. Or else someone could seriously get hurt, or worse..." Link shuddered at the thought. "I gotta get going. The race starts in about thirty minutes."

"I'm really gonna miss you, Link." Villager said. He started hugging his leg, because that's as high as he could reach.

"Waaaahhhh!" Toon Link sobbed and buried his face into his other leg.

The whole time, Peach had been deep in thought. By the time she was snapped out of her thoughts about who knows what, Villager had already pried a bawling Toon Link off of Link's leg, and Link was already heading towards the Meadows.

"Wait! Link! I forgot to say goodbye!" Peach yelled. She ran towards Link, who turned around just to be tackled by her into a hug.

"Ouch..." Link rubbed his sides. "What a going-away present..."

"Silly Link! That wasn't your going away present! This is!" She released her hug, leaned in, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Don't take that as an OK to advance on me, though! I only did that because it was a special occasion!"

Link rubbed his cheek indifferently. "Um... Right... I'll try?" He said, not sure of what she was talking about. The lipstick stayed on.

After an awkward silence, he spoke up again. "You know, you may annoy me 99% of the time and anger me the other 1%, but you're alright, in my book. Just don't tell him. He doesn't seem to like you that much. I don't know why."

"So oblivious!" Toon Link cried.

"Oh, and here." He handed her Cookie the cat. "Here's my parting gift to you."

"Your cat? Aw, thanks! Dont worry, I'll take good care of him." Peach chuckled. "I guess this is... see you later?"

Link shook his head. "No, Peach. Not this time." He reached in for another hug, in which this time the other two joined in.

"... goodbye!" Link bellowed at the top of his lungs, before breaking out of the hug and running away from them and towards the Meadows as fast as he could. Nobody attempted to follow him. The three just stood there watching Link until he was completely out of sight.

"But what about Isabelle?" Toon Link asked, looking for an excuse to run after him.

"She'll be fine. After all, Link is there." Villager said.

Peach was deep in thought again, a single tear in her eye. Then, she suddenly nodded and turned towards the two boys. "Cmon, let's go home."

Meanwhile, Link was rushing back towards the meadow at a breakneck speed. He made it past the river easily this time, now that there was no Peach or Cookie to hold him back. Still, he wouldn't mind their company right now. Or, at least, Cookie's company.

Soon, Link reached the top of the hill near the meadows. It provided a perfect view of the whole meadow. From there, Link could see the racers, who were getting ready to race. Waluigi and Wario were doing their ceremonial pre-race ritual, which involved garlic, dancing, and a sacrifice of a sofa to the toilet gods. Isabelle was passing out fresh fruit for everybody. Mario was moping about and Luigi was trying to cheer him up.

Link would've warned them about the race, but there was no way he could reach them before the race started. So, Link rushed down the hill, hopped the fence, and ran to the abandoned barn. This time, he had his clawshot ready. He used it to scale the barn in seconds, and within a minute, he made it back to the crystal.

Entering the room, Link noticed that nobody was within eyesight. "Hello?" Link took a few cautious steps into the room. "Is anybody their?"

"Wrong use of 'their,' buddy," Came a voice from behind him. Link gasped and tried to turn around, but before he could, he felt a chin on his shoulder. It froze him in place just like Ghirahim had done to him a while ago.

"I assume you've thought about our deal?" The voice said. Link could not see her yet, so he quickly turned around. There was literally no light besides the crystal's dim glow, so he could only see a silhouette. Just from the outline, he could tell it was her.

"Yeah, I have." Link said.

"And?"

"I will go with you."

"Well, that's good to hear..." The figure said. "Follow me through the barn, and we'll escape to my restaurant together!" The figure walked to a nearby door, and opened it. "I gotta get the getaway vehicle ready, so wait right there!" She walked inside, leaving Link in the center room.

"She's acting a bit strange... Even for her." Link mumbled. He started walking towards the door when he heard a shuffling sound to his right.

"Eh, it's probably just a rat or something." He said to himself. However, he soon heard mumbling from the same spot.

"H-help..."

"What! That's no rat!" Link gasped, running over to the source of the sound. The grunts came from a stack of hay.

"Hmm... Nope! It was just a talking stack of hay!" Link said. The grunts became louder and more aggravated.

"S-seri...ly?"

"Hah! Gotcha!" Link chuckled. He dug into the hay and found something he'd never think he'd find in there.

No, it wasn't the fountain of youth, because he always thinks he's gonna find that. It was actually the rancher herself, Malon. She was tied up in rope, and duct tape was over her mouth. When she saw Link, she instantly started wriggling faster.

"Whaaaaatttt?" Link gasped, sounding like a minion from Despicable Me. He carried her out of the hay stack, and put her on the floor. He leaned down over her, took out his Master Sword, and cut her free from the ropes.

"This is gonna hurt a little..." Link said to her. "Sorry." With one smooth flick of the wrist, the duct tape was ripped off of her mouth. But she was too excited about being set free to process the pain.

"Oh! I'm saved!" Malon said, hugging him. "But,you shouldn't have saved me! It's a trap!"

"Malon! What are you doing in there? And in the other room? And why have you been acting like a lunatic? And what's this about a trap?"

Malon sighed. "Just listen to me! I'll explain everything later! Right now, you have to get out of here!"

"Why?" Link asked.

"Because! You're about to be atta-"

"Oh my... I see you've found Malon."

"No!" Malon screamed.

Link turned around to see the figure that he thought was Malon facing him. It was basically a carbon copy of Malon, but it was surrounded by a black aura, and it had wispy purple skin and clothes. Its eyes also burned bright red. Right behind it were similar looking figures to the Malon-copy, were much more generic. Evil one of them flipped a switch, turning on all of the lights in the room. The lights revealed an army of wispy soldiers around Link and Malon.

"Oh." Link said.

"My my, it seems you've run into quite a predicament, haven't you, Link?" Evil-Malon taunted. "I guess I can test your mettle before I have you killed."

"Killed?" Link gasped.

"Please. Don't interrupt. It's rude to refer to your childhood sweetheart in such a way." Evil-Malon smirked. "Soldier 1-20, form rank Marth!" She yelled. Instantly, twenty soldiers ran up to her and meshed together to create an evil looking version of Marth.

Without warning, the evil Marth rushed at Link, slashing at him. Link managed to roll out of the way, but his side was cut in the process.

"Ah!" Link hissed at the pain. He got up, and rushed towards Marth. After a few parries and well timed shield bashes, Link destroyed the doppelgänger.

"Not bad." Evil-Malon said.

"Thanks..." Link said, feeling his cut. He could feel and smell blood. "Blood? The only thing that can make us bleed is..."

"Mario! Attack!" She sent another doppelgänger at him, which Link destroyed yet again.

"How is this possible! The swarm?!" Link gasped, feeling his new burns. For being a cheap copy, they definitely fought like the originals. Meanwhile, Malon was watching in horror as her friend was forced to fight to the death.

"Finally, you get it!" Evil-Malon laughed. "You're more hard-headed than I gave you credit for!"

"But... how?"

"You can't destroy a power like us through normal means. We're like cockroaches. And, we evolve at rapid rates, as I'm sure you've seen already. Luigi, attack!"

Link managed to destroy this one as well.

"Peach! Attack!"

"Captain Falcon, go!"

"Destroy him, Shulk!"

"Toon Link! KILL HIM!"

As the duels wore on, Link could feel his energy draining. It didn't help that he was slowly bleeding out. No matter how many he destroyed, more minions came to replace them. After a few more attacks, Link finally collapsed on the ground, and he was caught by Malon.

"Link!" Malon cried.

"You lasted quite a long time. Longer than I'd anticipated. Well, you're not one of the, if not the, best for nothing. I'm impressed." Evil-Malon said. "It's too bad to let you go." She raised her fist and clenched it. Immediately, the whole mini-army rushed towards the two people laying in the middle of the barn. The two braced themselves.

"I'm gonna miss you, Link." Malon said sadly.

"Heh... Me too." Link rasped.

Just before the first minions swung, the roof was broken, and down came all of the karters, Peach, Villager, and Toon Link.

"Link! You're alive! We thought you wouldn't make it in time!" Villager said. He reached in to hug Link, but was scared away when he saw that he was covered in blood. "Whoa!"

"Your plan's over, Swarm!" Mario yelled, pointing at Evil-Malon. "Surrender now or prepare to fight!"

Evil-Malon looked dumbfounded, the furious. She had more than enough minions to take on Link, but now she was outnumbered.

"Never!" She yelled. The minions attacked the karters, initiating a gigantic brawl in the barn. The swarm was quickly overtaken, and within minutes, not a demon was within sight.

"Yah! We did it! We saved Link!" Luigi cheered. The rest of the karters started cheering as well.

"Where is Link, by the way?" Daisy asked.

Suddenly, tent heard a voice from behind them. "I have your precious Link right here!" They turned around to see Evil-Malon holding a knife up to a dying Link. "Nobody moves! You move, he dies!"

"What do you want?" Mario asked forcefully.

"Just let me go peacefully, and he'll live." Evil-Malon made her way toward the exit, closely holding Link the whole time.

She opened the door and looked outside. "Hahaha... Say goodbye to your fairy boy!" She raised her knife and thrusted it downwards, aiming for his forehead.

"No!" Toon Link yelled.

However, when the knife connected to his skin, it bounced off harmlessly, pushing Evil-Malon back.

Rosalina gasped. "My blessing..."

Immediately, Link fell to the ground, groaning in pain.

"No! He must die now!" Evil-Malon yelled. She raised her knife yet again, but right when she could bring it down, a brown horse crashed through the barn and pushed Evil-Malon away. Then it kicked her with its two back feet, making her disintegrate immediately.

"Epona! You came!" Toon Link cheered. "Good girl!"

Peach started crying from joy, and Rosalina started dancing happily. The rest of the karters were standing there in confusion of what just happened.

"Wow... Looks like you made it after all..." Mario said, sighing a sigh of relief. He looked at Link, who gave Mario a weak thumbs up from the ground before passing out.

When Link came to, he was in the hospital way in Smash-City. Zelda, Lucina, and Toon Link were with him in his room. All of them were asleep. Looking out the window, Link figured that it was really late at night. Suddenly, Link felt an immense pain around his left arm and his right leg, and he groaned loudly. It was just enough to wake up Lucina.

"Link! You're awake!" Lucina whispered happily, not wanting to disturb get friends' sleep. "Nice kissy-mark, by the way. Zelda will be so happy to hear about that when she gets back from her business trip."

"W-what happened?"

Apparently, right after he collapsed, they quickly got a medi-toad to cover him

in bandages and to make a temporary cast for his apparently broken arm and leg. Apparently, Peach had received a warning from Palutena, who had sensed everything that was going on. That's why Link is still alive today. Now he definitely owed her dinner.

Anyways, because of the warning, Peach called Zelda in advance to bring the Loftwing so that they could transport Link back home quickly. Palutena foresaw that Link would get the stuffing beat out of him as well. Zelda and Toon Link went back home while everyone else stayed. Lucina was there because she didn't want to be alone in the house. Oh, and I guess also because she was worried for Link.

Nah.

"Wow... I got really lucky." Link mumbled.

"I know, right?" Lucina chuckled. "Y'know, I was hoping that when we next met, you wouldn't be in the hospital again."

"Again?"

"Yeah! Don't you remember the first Battle of the Swarm?" Lucina asked. "We almost died!"

"Oh. Right..." Link still had nightmares about it. In some of them, these voices spoke to him about the swarm being alive. He didn't believe them. He didn't live in the Percy Jackson universe, where every dream is a prophecy. "Wait... The first battle? There was only one to begin with!"

"Well... Hopefully there will only be one. I'd say the chances are pretty high, so that's good. According to Mario, who held a worldwide investigation with some weirdo named Gumshoe, there are no more traces of the Swarm."

"Really? That's great!"

"I don't buy it." Lucina added. "Probably a cover-up to prevent outbreaks of panic. But hey, I believed Toon Link's story about the Fourth Wall, and look how that turned out."

"Great... I still have this to worry about." Link said, pointing to his broken limbs.

"Eh. What doesn't kill you make you stronger, right?" Lucina smirked, nudging Link.

"I hate you."

"Sure you do." Lucina said. She was still wearing the tunic that she got from Link the day they left. "Your tunic makes for great pajamas, by the way."

"Gee, thanks."

Suddenly, a certain goddess stepped into Link's room. "How's my favorite mortal doing?"

"Palutena!" Link smiled.

"The one and only!" She laughed. "I've come to check up on you, and... It looks like our rematch will have to wait a while. And I was really looking forward to beating you again..."

"Hey! It's not my fault! I was distracted!" Link snapped. Lucina and Palutena just laughed.

"Yeah, by my lady stuff!" Palutena responded, smirking. Link turned red for the hundredth time as the other two laughed again.

"Hey, you still owe me dinner for the time I saved you back at the river! I'd say... that five star restaurant down the road?" Palutena asked. "I hear it's really expensive!"

"Sometimes it feels like all everyone conspires against me..." Link mumbled, already feeling his wallet disappear from his pocket.

"Well, maybe we do." Palutena responded slyly.

"Don't worry! Palutena and I will stay by your side, wherever you go, until you can walk by yourself again!" Lucina said. "And I'm sure Zelda and Peach will as well! As well as the Mario Bros! Don't worry about fighting, because all traces of the swarm have been wiped away. And plus, that'll give some of us other smashers a chance at the fight off."

Suddenly, Ike and Marth burst in through the window. "We want to help Link too! He's our bro, after all!" Ike yelled.

"We'll serve him crumpets!" Marth cheered, silencing the room awkwardly.

"What? How'd you even get here? We're on the seventh floor!" Link burst out.

Then, Captain Falcon ran in, clutching a chili dog. "Me too!" He threw it at Link's face.

"Ow."

"Hmm... I think all of us helping him would be too much. We should let Link decide who should be with him." Palutena said. "Well, Link? Who's it gonna be?"

They all stared at him intensely. Some gave him puppy dog eyes, and the rest gave him a threatening look, as if to say that he'll pay if he doesn't pick them. I'll let you decide who did what face.

"I, uh... Um... Hehe." Link was in a cold sweat, but he was flattered. "Uh... Pass?"

An explosion.

A/N: I just figured out the the Link in Smash 4 is the one in Skyward Sword! So I could've (or should've) used someone like Orielle instead of Malon. Oh well, can't change it now.

Oh, and thehobkinauthor... Your request will finally come to life next chapter!

Suggestions appreciated! Caught spelling mistakes needed! Many thanks!

Until next chapter!

Meanwhile, back at the Meadows, the smashers were sleeping back in the bus. The tourney was cancelled until the rest of the crystals for the other courses were put in higher security. So, they were to leave for home immediately. Anyways, while they were sleeping, a black mist flew through the bus, searching for a certain someone. It drifted into the room of Peach, and seeped into her mind while she slept.

My mind control plan worked wonders on Malon. And with Peach ready to attack at a press of a button, that so called "Heroes of Nintendo" are as good as gone! With them out of the picture, there will be no one to stop me! It's only a matter of time now... In a few weeks, world domination will be mine, and the mighty smashers will bow down to me! Get ready, smashers, for Tabuu! Lord of the Glitch Universe!