Ceiling

"-And then Gary pulled that old 'It's not you, it's me,' line on me," Carly said. "I mean, really? That's the best excuse he could come up with?"

Sam was laying on Carly's bed, staring up at the ceiling. For the past several hours, Carly had been ranting about her ex-boyfriend, Gary, who had dumped her earlier that day. After the breakup, Carly had called Sam, who had of course came over right away. And even though she was trying to be supportive for her best friend, she was getting a little bored.

"He was a jerk, Carls," Sam said for about the twelfth time that day. "You should be glad you're done with him. You can find some new guy, now."

"Oh, do you remember that time last month when he forgot my birthday? You remember what excuse he used then?"

"Yes, Carly, I was there," Sam said, but Carly didn't seem to hear her, and launched into another long escapade.

Sam sighed and stared back up on the ceiling, looking at the markings.

"You know," Carly said after she had finished her lengthy story. "I think it's got to be boys. They're just so stupid! That's the problem!"

"Well, yeah," Sam nodded. "Everyone knows that."

"They're just the worst," Carly exclaimed. "They're mean, they're smelly, they're gross…and mean!"

"You, um, said mean twice-"

"Because they're doubly mean! You know what, I'm swearing off boys," Carly said firmly, crossing her arms. "From now on, I fly solo."

"Carls, come on," Sam said, sitting up. "Don't be crazy."

"I'm serious," Carly said. "I go through this with every guy!"

"Well not every guy," Sam pointed out. "Let's be honest, you've broken quite a few hearts yourself, Shay."

"But I'm nice about it!" Carly said. "And I've only broken up with Griffin and like two other guys."

"Look, Carls, you shouldn't swear off dating just because of a few jerky guys," Sam said. "I mean, you're Carly. I think flirting with any cute guy you see if a reflex."

"Well it's going to stop. And you want to know why? Because boys are terrible creatures put on this planet to be-"

"Hey, muchachas," Freddie said, walking into the room. "How's it-"

Sam tried to signal him to leave, but he didn't get the message.

"Oh, and look who it is," Carly said. "One of them!"

"One of who?" Freddie frowned, clearly confused.

"The Despicable Scabs of Humanity!"

"Oh…what?"

"She's in her boy hating mode right now," Sam explained to her boyfriend. "I'd leave if I were you. She might not be very strong, but you know how she gets when she's all fired up."

"Right," Freddie nodded, understanding. "I'll call you later then. Feel better, Car-"

"Yeah, he'll call you Sam," Carly said sarcastically. "Or maybe he'll find something better to do and just leave you hanging!"

Sam sighed and fell back down on the bed. It was going to be a long night.

"How many times have you forgotten her birthday, Freddie? Or didn't notice when she did her hair different, or told her how nice she looked on your dates? Hmmm?"

"Carly, chill," Sam said. "You want to go beat up Gary's car?"

"Oh…that does sound nice," Carly said, calming down a bit.

"Then grab your jacket," Sam said, getting up off the bed.

"I'm sorry I attacked you like that, Freddie," Carly sighed, pulling on her jacket.

"It's cool," Freddie said. "That Gary was a real loser. You'll find a better guy."

"No I won't, because I'm swearing off guys."

"Huh?"

"Maybe I'm not meant to have anybody," Carly shrugged. "I've never had a relationship longer than two months. I mean, look at you guys! You've been together for almost two years! Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy for you, and I think you're an awesome couple, but well, I've always been sort of…jealous of your relationship. I just want something like what you have, is that so wrong?"

"You will find someone to have that kind of relationship with," Sam said, patting her best friend's shoulder. "Look, I know you think guys are all horrible right now, but trust me, there's someone for you. Look at all the jerks I dated! Jonah, Pete, that guy from juvie…they were all just like Gary was to you. But then…well, I guess I had some sort of mental breakdown and started dating this one."

"Love you too," Freddie said, rolling his eyes.

"And in the two years that we've dated, he's never acted like a jerk once," Sam continued, ignoring her boyfriend. "Sure, he's a nerdy nub, obsessive, sort of stingy, has a freak show of a mother-"

"You do realize I'm still in the room?"

"But even with all that, I love him," Sam finished. "And you're going to find someone you love too. You can't just let all the wrong guys get in the way."

"Wow," Carly said. "You sure know how to give one heck of a pep talk, Sam."

"Hey, Mama knows what she's talking about," Sam shrugged.

"You're right," Carly said. "And you know what, I don't have to give up on guys. Maybe if I just stop lusting after every one I see, though, I'll have better luck finding-"

"Um, excuse me?" a pizza delivery boy said, knocking on the doorframe. "I have your pizza. I knocked downstairs, but no one answered and the door was unlocked, so I just came in. I hope that's okay."

"That's perfectly okay," Carly said, batting her eyelashes and hurrying over to the delivery boy. "Thanks so much for bringing it all the way up here. It must've been hard carrying it up all those stairs."

"I actually took the elevator."

"Oh, well, it still was nice," Carly laughed. "I'm Carly, and you are…?"

"Blane."

"Blane, what a great name!" Carly said. "Why don't I walk you downstairs, Blane?"

"Well, her 'no guys' policy lasted long," Freddie said as Carly and Blane headed out of the room.

"You're surprised?" Sam laughed. "I knew she'd never go through with it. I'm just upset that we probably won't get to wreck Gary's car tonight. Come on, I'm hungry and stupid Blane took the pizza with him."

"Yup," Freddie said, heading out of the room with Sam. Before they went downstairs though, he took her hand. "Hey, you know I love you too, right?"

"Yeah," Sam grinned, standing on her toes to kiss him. "I know."