A/N- Happy New Year ya'll! I hope everyone has had a good holiday season, I know I did. Sadly, that can't last forever, but 'tis life, yes? Anyways, I had a nice break, but I'm ready to start writing again, so here you go!

To the chapter!

Chapter 44: How To Raise Your Pet

Dear Rocky,

Sometime, I wonder what life would be like if I was never taken by those two. I used to be a famous and rich before I met them. People would line up in mile-long lines just to get my signature. You see, I was the model that scientists used to create this fantastic new line of clothes. When you wear them, you can do stuff like climb walls. I don't need it though; I can already climb walls with ease. Been training my whole life.

That was the life... And all I had to do was sit, and punch the papers. If I stayed, I'd be doing that now.

Now, all of that is gone. Ever since that fateful day, when I was kidnapped by some weirdo. He's not bad, and his friend (or stalker, I dunno) is pretty nice. She even wears some of my brand of clothes sometimes. Although I'm pretty sure my old owners gave it to her as a present. She tries to get him to wear them too, but he always refuses.

Oh yeah, and now there's these other owners who take care of me when Miss Owner and Mr. Owner can't. They're nice. They're taking care of me with Mr. Owner while Miss Owner is out on a trip.

It's nice to be given real food, like tuna, instead of the mush that I used to get. But that doesn't mean I gotta like them, right?

Alright, so I'm not being one hundred percent honest. I don't dislike him. It's just... We haven't known each other for that long. But enough about that. Back to the present.

Today I'm planning on walking to the Pikmin pen. Maybe I can sneak a couple of them out and have a snack! Well, I better hurry, or else I won't have enough time to poop in my box! Will meow again soon!

-Cookie

As Cookie put the last ink paw-print on her letter, she meowed with delight. Taking the letter in her mouth, the tan cat with brown spots walked out of her owner's room. She walked down the stairs and towards the front door. Luckily, it was wide open, so she was free to walk outside. When she got in front of the mailbox, she jumped up and spit the letter in. Satisfied with herself, she walked back inside and to the kitchen, where her temporary owners were calling her.

"Hey, did you see that?" Lucina asked, looking outside. "Cookie spit a letter into the mailbox! Should we do something about it?"

Pit waved his hand. "Nah, let the mailman worry about it."

Lucina sighed. "Pit, you're the embodiment of laziness! We need the take care of Cookie while Link is off saving Peach! Link would be here right now if Mario wasn't captured as well. You're her babysitter too, so get up off your butt and take care of their cat!"

Pit closed his book. "But this book is how I'm going to take care of Cookie!"

Lucina out her hands on her hips. "How? You better have a real answer. If this is a joke I'll put mashed Super Mushrooms in your pants again."

Pit shuddered. "Please... Not again." He presented the book to her. "Take That! This is a training manual for pets. I'm planning to teach Cookie a few tricks."

Lucina took the book in her hands. "This is a training manual for dogs, idiot."

"What? Give me that!" Piy looked at the cover again. There was a picture of a chihuahua on it. "Oops..."

Lucina smirked. "Pit, Pit, Pit... You're getting old. Maybe you should just retire already. Your eyes are failing you."

"Hey, shut up! Where'd you even get the idea that I was old anyways?! And who says a cat can't learn dog tricks?" Pit asked.

Lucina laughed. "So you're actually planning to teach Cookie dog tricks?"

"Yes! Look, I'll show you. Cookie, get over here!" The cat came walking in, a bored expression on its face. "Alright, Cookie." He pushed her butt down, making her sit on the floor. Just to be clear, he pushed Cookie's butt down, not Lucina's. "Sit."

Cookie blinked once, licked Pit's hand once, and then turned around and walked away.

"That didn't go so well..." Pit said, sighing.

"Well, it could've gone worse." Lucina said.

"Alright, let's try something else... What if we walked her? Like, with a collar and stuff?" Pit asked.

Lucina sighed. "That's also for dogs. Cats should be free to walk around on their own time. Now, watch this!" She reached into her pocket, and pulled out a bell. She squeezed it in her hand, and her clothes instantly transformed from her usual attire into a blue cat suit that matched the color (or colour, if you roll that way) of her hair. "Meow!"

"Where'd you get that?" Pit asked in shock.

"Meow! I got the it as a present from Peach, meow!"

"Ah! This is weird..." Pit said, backing away slowly.

"You see? To raise the cat, you must first become the cat!" She pounced on him, bringing him to the ground. "Haha! Got ya, meow!" She wagged her tail and jumped off him.

Pit rubbed his head as Lucina ran around with Cookie. They were chasing a yarn ball around. "Ow... Hey! Don't unravel that ball! It'll get everywhere!"

"Too late! You can't stop us now!" Lucina meowed. Cookie meowed in agreement.

"Oh, Palutena's gonna kill me..." Pit mumbled. "But not if I bring out that thing..." He fumbled with his pockets and took out a toy mouse.

"Hey, kitty!"

Cookie and Lucina turned around and upon seeing the toy, they sprang at him.

"Oh sh-" the two cats crashed into him full force, sending the three of them crashing out the window and onto the street.

Just then, Ike walked by. We was taking a stroll with his sweetheart, Mia. "Wow, looks like Pit's a real [insert inappropriate joke about cats here]."

Mia looked at the angel and shrugged. "Eh, he's a 6/10. Too much water."

Lucina, with the mouse toy hanging from her mouth, laughed. "That was fun!" She squeezed her bell again, and she was transformed back into her usual clothes.

Pit, with claw marks over his body, groaned in pain. "I hope you got your rabies shot..."

Lucina gasped. "Oh course I do! What do you take me for? An animal?"

"..."

"At any rate..." She continued. "We should probably get Cookie something to eat. She attacked you more than I wish I could've!"

"Was that an insult, or...?" Pit began. "If that was an insult, prepare to be destroyed by Pit, Commander of Palutena's-"

"Never mind." Lucina said, waving Pit away.

Pit shrugged. "Alright." After looking around, he gasped. "Wait... Where's Cookie?"

Ike spoke up. "You mean that cat? Oh yeah, that little scamp started following Olimar down the street. It left behind a trail of string." He pointed at the sidewalk, which had a long thread of yarn running along it.

Mia nodded. "She looked really hungry."

"Uh oh. This could be bad." Pit said. "At least she's getting her exercise. But we should probably follow the string. Something bad could happen to her. Or Olimar."

"You think?" Lucina asked sarcastically. "C'mon, let's go!" She grabbed his arm and started running down the street. Mia and Ike watched them run down the street. They followed the string through bushes, up trees, into sewers, and the string eventually ended at a lamppost. Cookie was not attached to it.

"Hmm... Well, we made it to the end of the-"

"Rainbow?" Pit's eyes shone. "Oh! I can't believe it! Now we get gold all to ourselves! We're rich!" His eyes shone with the colors of the rainbow.

Lucina grabbed his cheeks, shutting him up. "No. And how did you even do that thing with your eyes?"

Pit was about to answer her, but he was interrupted by a meow.

"Meow!"

Lucina gasped. "I think I heard Cookie!"

Pit nodded. "I heard her too. I think she may be..." He closed his eyes and thought. "That way." He pointed behind him. They turned around and discovered that the meowing sounds were coming from Olimar's house.

"Uh oh! If we don't hurry, Olimar's Pikmin will be toast!"

They ran inside the house; the front door was open. When they walked through the door, they walked into the kitchen, which was completely empty. To their right, another meowing sound was heard.

"That way!" Pit said. They ran through the door to the right, and walked right into Olimar's Pikmin pen. Cookie was there, chasing a poor red leaf Pikmin. The other ninety-nine Pikmin were running around, panicking. It was adorable.

Amongst the cuteness, Olimar was desperately trying to catch Cookie while keeping the Pikmin from causing chaos.

"Hey, Bob! Get back here with that bomb! Ah, Sally! Don't light Liz on fire! Jacob! What did I say about spreading infectious diseases?"

"Um..." Pit cleared his throat. "Olimar?"

Olimar looks up from his clipboard and sighed with relief when he saw Pit and Lucina. "Oh thank goodness! Help has arrived! This terror walked in when I was feeding the Pikmin, and now it's trying to eat poor Steve!"

"Sorry..." Lucina said. "She's Link's an Peach's."

"Oh, so they finally tied the knot, huh? But... How the heck did they make a cat... Very intriguing... I guess Peach does have a cat suit, doesn't she?"

Pit gasped. "What? No! I mean, yes, she has a cat suit. But that doesn't mean that Cookie's their birth child!... Right?"

Lucina gasped. "Oh course! That's not physically possible!"

"What's not possible? The two of them making a cat, or the two of them tying the knot?"

"Both! This cat's adopted! She's a pet." Pit said.

"Ah. I'm sorry, my mistake. I'm still trying to understand the weird nature of you other-dimensional creatures."

Just then, ten yellow Pikmin stormed at Pit. They all had bombs, and upon contact, Pit was blown up. "Ahhhh!"

The room filled with smoke. When the smoke cleared, Pit was passed out and Cookie was stunned.

Lucina picked up Cookie and pried the Pikmin from her mouth. "So sorry about that!" She bowed to him and walked out of the room, dragging Pit behind her.

"Wait! Who's gonna help me with this mess?" Olimar yelled. However, they were already gone. "Great... Hey! Jerome! You can't wear those diapers! Those are for me. Space Diapers, you know. Handy stuff."

Lucina dragged Pit onto the sidewalk, where she slapped him in an attempt to wake him up.

"Wake up!"

"Ouch..." Pit groaned. He opened up her eyes to see Lucina, who was just about to slap him again. "Whoa! I'm awake! I'm awake!"

"Oh." Lucina backed away and helped him back up.

"Can't believe I got blown up..." Pit grumbled. "At least Cookie's okay."

Lucina punched him softly. "Hey, now you're acting like a real babysitter!"

"Alright... So she got play time, and she got food. What's next?" He asked fearfully.

"Um... We need to give her a bath!" Lucina cheered. "Let's head back to their house." They picked up Cookie, who was too lazy to walk, and headed for their house.

Zelda was there to greet them. "Hey, Lucina!" She cheered. "Oh, and Pit!"

"Hey, Zelda!" Pit waved to her cheerfully. "Don't mind us two. We're just gonna get wet with water and soap in the backyard."

"Alright, take your time." Zelda said.

"Alright, fill that metal run with water, and I'll get the soap ready." Lucina said.

"Alright."

After five minutes, Lucina held Cookie over a small tub filled with water. "You ready?"

"Yep." Pit said, soap at the ready. "Let her rip!"

She dropped Cookie into the tub, and immediately, Cookie struggled to get out of the water. She was hissing and clawing, and water was getting everywhere.

"Gosh, I wish I took my shirt off... Water's getting everywhere!" Pit exclaimed.

"Please don't." Lucina said, smirking. "Nobody wants to see your fat belly."

After a few minutes of thrashing with the water, Lucina told Pit to start scrubbing Cookie with soap. However, when he leaned into the tub with the sponge, Cookie seized her chance and latched onto his chest.

"Ah! She got me!" The angel stumbled back, throwing the sponge into the air. He landed on his buttocks while Cookie was clawing him in panic.

"Uh oh!" Lucina ran towards Pit, who was being assaulted by Cookie. The sponge fell back down and landed right under her foot. "Whoa!" She slipped and fell, landing right on top of Pit.

"OWWWWW!" He yelled.

"Oops." Lucina said, standing up. "Um... At least it can't get any worse." Then, the sponge filled with soap flew down and on top on Pit's face. Apparently it flew in the air when she slipped in it.

"Ahhhhh! My eyes!" He got up and ran around blindly. Cookie jumped off and looked at the running angel in confusion. Eventually, he unknowingly ran into the backyard fence, falling down on the grass. He fell to the ground, unconscious.

"Oops." Lucina chuckled. "What a mess I've made..." She dried herself and Cookie off and let Pit lay in the backyard for a while. Cookie curled up next to Pit and started sleeping. She was purring. Lucina smiled at the sight and snapped a quick picture. "The guys in Smash-book will love this picture..."

When Lucina exited the backyard, Cookie got up and walked into Link's room. She jumped on top of his desk and found Link's ink vial behind a framed picture of himself with all of his friends.

Anyways, she then took a piece of paper from his desk. After dabbing her paw in the ink, she started her letter.

This letter and the first letter have been translated from cat-speak to English:

Dear Rocky,

I think I'm starting to warm up to my owners. I've decided to call them Owner-Green and Owner-Pink. The new ones are Owner-Blue and Owner-White. They're really nice hoomans, and they seem to really care about me. They let me play with yarn (which is the stuff of gods, like, seriously) and Owner-Blue actually joined in on the fun. I also got to eat some exquisite food! I don't know exactly what the food is, but it tasted amazing!

The bath they gave me was pretty bad, but they're keeping me clean, so I guess that's alright. But if they want to keep me clean, why don't they just lick me? Hoomans are weird.

Anyways, I gotta go. I have a nap scheduled right now, and I intend on keeping my appointments. Ciao!

-Cookie

A/N: Until next chapter!