A/N: I'm pretty happy right now, because I had a big audition for this thing today, and I got in! So yaaay! Now that the stress and the time spent on practising for the audition is over, I can focus on the story! wWoo! To the chapter!
Chapter 45: A Day In The Park Pt. 1
"Without further ado, it's time to cut the ribbon!" The crowd of Smash-City residents and smashers cheered loudly as Mario and The Mayor cut the ribbon to the brand new park.
"The brand new Smash-Park, which features multiple playgrounds the size of mansions and a river that you can go boating down, among other things, is now open!" The gates were opened and the crowd flooded in.
"Alright! So, where do you wanna hang out today?" Toon Link asked. Him and Ness had woken up at two in the morning to be the first people to enter the park. When the gates were opened, they stepped on a goomba, kicked some koopas, and even burned Marth's hair to get inside the park first. But in the end, they did indeed make it in first, so they regret nothing. Not even the whooping that Marth was going to give them later.
"The playgrounds, duh!" Ness replied excitedly. "I wanna get to the top of the mountain-themed playground!"
Toon Link smiled. "Yeah, let's go!" They rushed towards the center of the park, where a gigantic playground stood. It was about thirty stories tall, and it was made up of a ton of monkey bars, swing sets, balance boards, see saws, and all other sorts of playground stuff. To get to the very top, they would have to use all of those playground toys to maneuver to the top. One misstep, and you would fall to the very bottom, where a gigantic ball pit was waiting for you. You didn't have to worry about hitting things on the way down, either. There are sensors all over the playground, and if it senses that you were falling, it would make the playground equipment you hit able to be passed through. This makes everything completely harmless!
"Alright, so, I made a plan to get to the top as soon as possible. Using this, we could get up there in only ten hours!" Toon Link said, beaming. He was looking at his map of the playground happily.
"Only ten hours? Awesome!" Ness laughed. "We're gonna be ringing that bell in no time!"
At the top of the mountain, a small golden bell was hung. Whenever someone ring it, the victory fanfare from Final Fantasy would play throughout the whole park (using speakers), and the people or person who rung the bell would get a gliding suit so that they could glide back down to the ground. If they started falling while gliding outside of the sensors, then the suit would eject a parachute so that you would fall safely. I really am a genius.
Samus, seriously. Stop hacking my story from a different dimension. It's not fair.
"What are we waiting for? Let's get started! We've gotta be the first to get to the top! You want our names to be in the Hall of Fame, don't you?" Toon Link said. He pointed to the gate of the park, where the Smash-Park Hall of Fame was.
There were different awards, such as "Latest 4v4 paintball champions," "Cutest Boat Couple Of The Month," and "Latest Hot Dog Eating Champion." All were empty, ripe for the taking. But all of the winners of the awards could be replaced with a new person. Except one. The award for getting to the top of the mountain first.
"Yeah! Let's go! That bell will be ours in no time!" Ness cheered.
From behind them, a young boy chuckled. "I think you're mistaken, for it is us who will get the award!"
Ness and Toon Link turned around to meet Villager and Popo.
"Villager? Popo? What are you doing here?" Ness asked.
Popo smiled. "Isn't it obvious? We're here to ring that bell and get on the Hall of Fame!"
Toon Link smirked. "Sorry, but we're gonna get to the top first. And since there's only two spots for the Hall of Fame, I guess you two will just have to look for a different award to go for."
Villager chuckled. "We'll see about that! After all, a little friendly competition never hurt." He was still hurting because he never had a chance to destroy everyone at the Mario Kart Tournament. Don't worry, Villager... You'll get your chance at karting again...
"Alright, we accept your challenge!" Ness said. He shook hands with Villager, and the four of them lined up, ready to race.
"Good luck. You'll need it. I am a professional mountain climber, after all." Popo said.
"This ain't a traditional mountain." Toon Link replied.
"Three..." Knees bent, arms on the ground.
"Two..." Deep breaths.
"One..." Clenched butt cheeks.
"Go!" The two teams of two rushed for the mountain, ready for the challenge ahead.
Meanwhile, Lucas and Nana were waiting at the river. At the river was a pier that held four boats. Each boat could hold three people. Groups of two people could use the boat, and an employee would row the boat. The boat route led them downstream, right out of the park, through a cave that was in Smash-City, and into the Smash-Lake.
"Oh, I'm so excited for the boat ride! Aren't you?" Nana squealed. They were the second pair of people to get there. In front of them, Lucina, who was dressed in the baby blue shirt and khakis that all employees of the park would wear, explained the rules of the boat ride to Shulk and Fiora.
"Yeah! This is going to be great!" Lucas cheered. "I've always wanted to go on a boat ride like this one!"
"Alright, have a fun trip!" Lucina waved to the two as Robin paddled the boat down the river. "Next!"
Lucas and Nana walked up to Lucina with their eyes shining. "We would like to ride the boat, please!"
Lucina laughed. "Alright, you two! Get in the boat!" They hopped in and sat facing each other. Robina was the rower.
"Keep your hands, feet, and body inside the boat at all times." Then she leaned in and whispered to them. "I don't really care if you happen to take a few gems from the cave or flower from the fields, though. They always come back anyways." She winked at the two. "Alright, have fun!"
"You ready?" Robina asked.
Nana started clapping. "You betcha!"
Just as Robina started rowing the boat, a loud voice from behind them yelled at them. "Stop!"
"Ah!" Robina, in her panic, stopped the boat too quickly, causing her to fall into the water. She climbed out of the river, soaking wet.
Lucina gasped. "Oh! Boss! What are you doing here?"
Lucas and Nana looked over and saw Waluigi standing over them. "Um... Hi." Nana eventually said.
"Get off my boat!" Waluigi yelled.
"What? Why?" Nana asked, stomping her foot.
Waluigi pulled them out and set them down on the ground. "You must be at least this tall to ride!" He pointed at a cutout of himself, who was holding his hand at his shoulder. "Starting now, anyone below this height cannot enter the boat!"
Grudgingly, the whole line behind Lucas and Nana walked away, and all of them were saying some very rude things about Waluigi's buttocks.
But I don't care what they say, his butt is thot.
Well, not the whole line left. A certain hero was still standing when everyone else left. Link awkwardly walked up to the front of the line. "Um... This may be a bad time, but can I use the boat?"
"Sure!" Waluigi said. "Who's your partner?"
"Here." He pulled a furry little fluff ball from under his shirt. "It's this cat."
Waluigi immediately exploded. "No! She cannot ride the boat! Have you seen the cutout?"
Link gasped. "But I-"
Waluigi shook his head. "Nope! But, I guess I could hold your cat for you while you ride the boat..." He took Cookie from Link's arms.
"Hey!" Link yelled. "Be careful with her!"
Cookie hissed at Waluigi and clawed at him, violently. "Ah!" Waluigi threw her as he stumbled back in pain. Cookie flew through the air and fell onto Lucina. Cookie then started clawing at her in fear.
"Oh no!" Lucina stumbled back in surprise, and bumped into Robina, just as she finished drying off her hair.
"Son of a-" the two of them- Robina and Lucina- fell into the river and started being washed downstream. "Ah! Help us!" Robina screamed as the two of them started flowing downhill.
"Why would I do that? They'll just end up at the lake." Link said, shrugging. Cookie landed at his feet.
"Actually, they have to take a turn in the river to get to the lake. If they don't, they'll end up at a waterfall." Waluigi said, crossing his arms. "Good riddance, I say!"
Link sighed. "Oh well. I'm not jumping in that river."
Nana and Lucas had been watching in amusement the whole time.
"A-anyways!" Nana snapped. She had forgotten what she had been talking about when that whole incident occurred, and she just now remembered. "You can't do that to us! What about our rights! Freedom of boat riding! It's the first amendment (or something)! Right, Lucas?"
"Y-yeah, I guess..." He knew she was an idiot, but he liked her either way.
Waluigi scoffed. "It's my boat, and therefore, my rules! Now, get out of my sight!" He switched a lever at the boat booth and the ground beneath the two of them sprang up, flinging them across the park.
"Ahhh!" As the flew away, the bumped into a very peculiar set of strangers, followed by a Pokémon.
"Team Rocket's blasting off again!" They yelled as they flew away.
"Um... Team Nana's blasting off again!" Nana yelled, trying to fit in.
Lucas sighed. "Why not Team Lucas?"
"Because I'm the leader!" Nana yelled over the roar of wind that they got from falling.
"We never established that!"
"Well, I just did!"
"That's not-" CRAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!
The two kids landed safely inside a rubber ball pit. Samus calculated how far that trap of Waluigi's would send them and put a handy dandy ball pit there.
"Haha! We're saved! I love balls!" Lucas yelled.
"Um... Is there something you're not telling me? Because I'm a girl, y'know." Nana said, climbing out of the ball pit.
Lucas's face became red. Whether it was from embarrassment or anger, even Lucas didn't know. "I didn't mean it like that!"
Nana giggled. "Oh course you didn't! I was just poking fun!"
Lucas sighed in relief. "Whew. Good."
Nana smiled and laughed, but then she remembered what happened to them and got mad again. "Oh, I can't believe that meanie! He's a big jerk!"
"Uh, I think we should just go to a playground or something."
Nana shook her head. "No! We have to ride on that boat! You even finished me that we would! Remember?"
Lucas sighed, remembering what he told her yesterday. "Alright, how are we gonna get a ride?"
Nana smiled deviously. "Glad you asked! Now..." She took out a piece of paper. "Here's the plan..."
"War... Has changed. When the skills of a super soldier can be given to anyone with a simple injection, war is nothing more than a business. A ruse that the government uses to keep its citizens nationalistic. Innocent lives are sacrificed for nothing but the profit of others those who do not need it. War... Has changed."
"Snake. This is a water balloon fight. There's no need for this government bull-hankey."
Snake crushed his cigarette with his foot and turned around to face Falco. "Shut up. This is war! If you don't have what it takes to kill a man, get out now!"
Falco sighed. "Look, are we gonna look for other teams of not?" Today was the first ever team water balloon fight. You get hit with a water balloon, you're out. There was a huge field with many places to hide, such as trees, buildings that were built to look old, and caves. In that field, a number of teams would battle it out until one team was left standing. For this competition, each team could only have two people. Falco wanted to be with his friend, Fox, but the team entrants were shuffled to add a bit of randomness. Falco had the "pleasure" of being with the one and only Solid Snake.
"Alright, follow my lead!" Snake whispered. He got on the ground and started inching himself forward like a worm.
"Um... Snake? You know everyone could see you? You look ridiculous."
"Shut up! I've done this before. Let me handle it." He started inching forward from the bush they were in to the next. After thirty minutes, he finally made it to the bush that was five feet from the first bush. "Heh. What did I tell you? Nobody saw me!"
Falco, who had just walked there, had been waiting for twenty nine minutes and fifty nine seconds. "...yay."
Snake chuckled. "With me on your side, there's no way you can lose! Now, let's inch towards that bush three feet away! We can probably get there in only fifteen minutes if we inch forward quickly!" He got back on his back and started inching forward again.
Falco walked over to the next bush and sighed. "This is gonna be a long day..."
A/N: Oh, Snake. Why can you inch forward like a lunatic in MGS4? You move at a mile a day, and you look ridiculous. It's freaking funny looking, though, so I guess you got that going for you.
Until next chapter!
