Chapter 9: The Gamble
Ilia – Day 1 – ?:?
It took about ten minutes of walking for me to see the campfire of Kitay-Gorod's door guards. There were three of them sat around drinking mushroom tea with their crude guns barely at the ready. They noticed my flashlight and quickly stood up to shine lights on me and question my presence.
"Who's there?" One of them asked.
I stopped as I put my flashlight away and held my hands up so that I didn't seem threatening. With my still painful wound, I replied, "Just a traveller. Can I get in?"
"Got business here?"
"Not exactly, but please." I approached them and pulled out ten of my bullets. "Please let me in. I'll give you this. It's everything I have. I've been through so much shit to get here." They didn't need to know how many bullets I actually had.
The looked at each other and shared a few whispers. I held my side with my free hand and slightly exaggerated my pained groans. They spent the better part of a minute discussing before finally getting back to me. "Fine. We'll let you in, but no funny business. And if you tell anyone we let you in, you're fucking dead."
I nodded and handed them the bullets. "Fair enough. Thank you, guys."
The guard moved with me to the door and heavily bashed on it. "Open up! We've got a visitor!"
The door made the usual sounds of metal parts shifting within the mechanism as it began to slowly open up towards us. This one wasn't in the best condition; the guards had already covered their ears by the time the piercing screech of the doors massive hinges sounded. I swore loudly but inaudibly over the shrieking door as I covered my ears as well.
Once the door was fully open, they let me through and the door began to close with another excruciating screech. One of the two guards on the other side stopped me until the door had finally closed.
"You're a guest in this station. You can keep your weapons but don't try anything. We're Kirill's men; if one of us tells you to do something, you do it. Understand?"
I nodded and said, "I'm not in much of a state to be trying anything anyway."
He snorted with amusement. "Fair point. Come in, spend some money. Don't stay for long."
"Before I do," I began as he raised an eyebrow at me, "has anyone come through here recently?"
"No one's come from this way in weeks."
"Are you sure? The guy I'm looking for has short brown hair, kind of tall, probably looks even more like shit than me."
"Oh yeah," he said in a sarcastically happy tone. "You've just jogged my memory. He was one of the no people that came through here."
"Alright. Good point, well made." I moved on and, oddly, stared down at the station before me.
The station looked as though it had suffered some sort of collapse at some point in its life. What was once two parallel stations had broken down into one massive station that was also over double the height of its original size. There was a clear horizontal line halfway down where the original wall finished and the rest of the walls were made up of the dirt, rock and the concrete foundations of the stations that were held back with large amounts of metal scaffolding. I was standing at the station's original level at the top of a set of wooden stairs that descended before me into the bulk of the conjoined station.
Larger buildings made of wood and scrap metal had been constructed to make use of the extra space and were dotted around the outside, with one in particular drawing attention as it was largely painted in a dark red colour and in place of a door was a similarly red curtain with gold trimmings. On the front in lights were the words 'Kitay-Gorod Man Club'. Presumably they didn't have the number of bulbs required to write 'Gentleman's club'.
In the centre of everything was a large circular arena. The floor was simply the fallen station's platform floor but, around it, raised wooden seating had been constructed to both make the walls of the arena and allow people to watch. Above the large gates that served as the entrance to the arena floor was a cordoned off area that housed one single chair. It was currently empty but I could only assume that it was the station leader's chair. The arena's floor was stained with blood and I could even see a discarded bloody ear from where I was. Currently, two very well-built men were fighting it out in the centre. It was absolutely brutal, one was clearly struggling as his face was covered in blood that was dripping down to his tattered clothes. The other shirtless fighter was slightly taller and had taken a few hits himself, I could see a small amount of blood on his face and bruises on his chest, but he was holding his own much better. A small crowd of about twenty-five people filled a good portion of the seating were watching and shouting encouragement at whoever they had bet on.
I carefully moved down the uneven wooden staircase. There was nothing to hold onto on the way down so I had to work even harder to stay upright. It was a fairly long walk down but I eventually got to the arena as it looked like the losing man was about to take his final hit. He quickly came back to his senses, however, and sidestepped out of the way of an overconfident heavy punch before kicking his opponent in the back of the knee to drop him down and slamming his face into the nearby wall, breaking some of the planks with the sheer force of it. He stepped back to catch his breath and reevaluate as his opponent stumbled backwards and briefly held his bloodied head in pain before glaring at the other man. I didn't particularly want to watch this, but I saw free seating and desperately wanted to sit down and rest. There wasn't any space in the small arena where I could be by myself, but I found a space next to a lone man shouting encouragement at one of the fighters. I took my AK off from around my shoulder and put it between my legs as I sat down and settled in to watch the brutal sport.
With renewed strength, the shorter fighter lowered his profile and charged at his opponent. His shoulder collided with the bare stomach as he swung his arms around the larger fighter's waist and tackled him to the ground. He tried to punch his face from his advantageous position but the larger man on the ground blocked every attempt before grabbing one of his fists and forcefully pushing him off. They both rushed to stand up and continue the fight.
"Come on!" The man sat next to me yelled. "You can do better than that!"
I leant over to him and asked, "What's your bet?"
"I've got a hefty amount of bullets on that useless bastard with no shirt on. He had him on the ropes! He could have finished it if he wasn't so fucking arrogant!"
"When do they win? Is it when one of them gives in?"
He chuckled lightly. "Not from around here, are you? It's to the death."
My eyes widened with surprise. "Jesus. That's brutal."
"Makes the fights more interesting if they know that one of them won't be walking out alive."
"I guess so," I replied uneasily.
"My guy, Ruslan Utkin, has won nine fights. If he wins this he will have set a record." He started to shout at him again. "But that doesn't look like it's going to fucking happen, does it?!" Ruslan took a kick to the side of his stomach before dodging a punch to the face and regaining his balance.
"Who's the other guy?"
"Daniel Orlov. Some new guy. Says he's from Polis but I'm not sure I believe him. Good fighter, nonetheless."
"So, this is a regular thing?"
"Whenever someone challenges someone else. They're not scheduled, but it's usually once a week at minimum."
"It's a wonder you have any people left in the station at all."
"You'd be surprised how many people come here to escape the 'oppressive rules' of the big factions in the Metro. We get a lot of people from Hansa coming here, actually." He kept watching the fight but stretched his hand out towards me. "Pasha."
I shook his hand and started to reply with my name but realised where I was and slowly transformed it into, "Egor." I didn't want my real name outed in a place such as this.
Ruslan managed to land a powerful hit into Daniel's stomach and follow it up with a knee into his nose as he keeled over. A small amount of blood sprayed out as Daniel stumbled backwards and hit the wall behind him in a daze. Pasha shot up and cheered loudly for Ruslan.
Ruslan confidently sauntered over to the stunned Daniel up against the wall and grabbed his head in his massive hands. He lifted his head away from the wall before slamming it straight back down again, breaking some of the planks and leaving a large bloodstain across them. Daniel offered no resistance as Ruslan threw him away from the wall and to the hard concrete floor. He leant down, pulled Daniel's head away from the floor, and slammed it down with enough force that I swore that I heard a crack from either the floor or his skull. Ruslan stood up, proudly raised his arms and roared to the crowd as everyone that had bet on him, including Pasha, stood up and cheered for him. Blood started to pool around Daniel's head as he lay there, lifeless. Bookies began to move around the crowd to give those that bet on Ruslan their winnings.
Pasha ended up with a nice few clips. He turned to me and yelled over the cheering of the crowd, "Nice to meet you, friend!" He excitedly handed me one of his clips of five bullets and continued, "It's a great day! Buy yourself a drink, hire a prostitute! Whatever! Welcome to this wonderful place!" He ran off celebrating as I thanked him for the bullets. Apparently, I'd randomly sat next to the correct person.
Still not feeling up to moving, I stayed where I was over the next few minutes. Ruslan staggered out of the arena through the wooden gate on one side and was met by a cheering crowd outside as he headed straight for a nearby bar as a hero. Those that had bet on Daniel slumped away to the same bar to drink away their sorrows rather than celebrate. A few minutes after everyone had left, a couple of terrified looking men in tattered clothing hurried into the arena, followed by two of Kirill's retinue that stopped at the entrance and watched over them, rifles intimidatingly at the ready. The men dragged Daniel's body away, leaving a trail of blood across the already stained arena, and quickly returned with buckets of water and started to scrub the floor as clean as they could. They regularly glanced back at the guards who stared menacingly back. I could only assume that a similar fate would have befallen me if I'd remained in the bandits' captivity. I silently thanked Mary for her sacrifice again.
A woman moved along the raised wooden path behind me, being dragged by the arm towards the 'Man Club' not far away. She looked oddly well put-together for someone in this station. Her long wavy black hair was clean as was her beige overcoat that stretched down to her knees and covered her clothes beneath. She wore tall high heels, had shaved legs and even had makeup on, with striking dark red lipstick and black eyeliner. She was possibly the most beautiful woman I'd seen in the Metro, which wasn't saying much to be honest.
"Please, I don't want to do this anymore!" She pleaded with the gruff man leading her. He was clearly one of Kirill's men. He had a shaved head with scars across his stern face and thick clothing with muted colours. I also saw the outline of a revolver in one of his larger pockets.
"You are Kirill's property. You'll do as he says," he said.
"I can do the dancing, that's fine, but not the private shows. Please!"
The man was clearly frustrated with her. "You will do whatever is asked of you." He dragged her into the building through the curtain as she put up little resistance, likely knowing that she wasn't going to win.
I stayed for a minute as I thought through my situation. I hadn't found Alex. He should have come through here but he hadn't. There were no other entrances from Kuznetsky Most's direction either. The secret route that Andrew had led us down should have linked up with the main tunnel at some point so the guards would have seen him. Maybe Andrew seemed so trustworthy at the time, but I was starting to have my doubts. Maybe he intended for me to get captured by the Reds. But why wouldn't he just give me straight up? Nothing made sense to me. I decided that I should stick around this station for a while in case it just took him an abnormally long time to get here. It had happened to me so it could have happened to him.
My thoughts drifted to the woman that I had just seen. Her situation reminded me a lot of Mary's. It wouldn't be right if I sat back and ignored the woman after wishing desperately that I could have done something about Mary's situation. Also, if I couldn't do anything, I could at least have a nice time for once.
I stood up and began to move towards the club, noticing that the small rest had dramatically improved my ability to deal with the pain. I still had a small stagger but it was more manageable than before. I pulled myself up the steps to the front doorway and pushed the red scratchy curtain aside to reveal a small entrance room with red carpets and soft lighting. I could hear quiet and slow jazz being played by a guitar, drum kit and saxophone in the next room. A guard stood at the other side of the small room next to the curtain that led into the actual club, and to his right was a small opening in the wall with a person sitting behind it. I walked towards the gruff guard. Without paying much attention, he stopped me and said, "You got any weapons?"
I indicated to the AK on my shoulder and sarcastically said, "Maybe."
The much more approachable man in the window beckoned me over and said, "Hand me your weapons, I'll give you a ticket with a number, you'll get them back when you leave." Behind him was a large shelf that was full of metal crates of varying sizes all with padlocks on them. I felt uneasy, I wasn't a fan of leaving my expensive weapons with a stranger. "I know what you're thinking, but we give you the key so that not even we can get into your weapons." He chuckled to himself. "Don't lose it, it's happened before." I reluctantly agreed and handed over my weapons to be stored in a large lockbox. He handed me a key and a ticket that said '17' on it. Unbeknownst to him, however, I kept my knife under my shirt, just in case. I approached the guard and he gave me a half-hearted pat down before letting me into the club proper.
There was a slightly raised stage along one wall with a stripper pole in its centre. Small chairs ran in front of it mostly filled with men watching and encouraging the woman dancing seductively around it. A few small boxes were at the front of the stage where people could put their bullets to tip her. On the opposite side was a small bar where the bartender was serving continuous shots to a few depressed looking people sat at the bar; likely those that had just lost money on the fight. The saxophonist, drummer and guitarist had set up further down and played music that didn't interrupt but added to the atmosphere of the dingy club. A couple of guards stood with revolvers holstered and were simply enjoying the show rather than doing their jobs.
I thought that I might as well enjoy my time here, so I took a seat at the stage and sat back to watch the woman. I realised that it was the woman I'd seen earlier. She was wearing tight black lingerie and looked incredible. I had no idea how she or her bosses got hold of her clothes and makeup; I'd never seen anything like it in the Metro. She looked like some of the women Alex and I had seen and fawned over in some pre-war magazines that we had once found.
I was enjoying the show, and even put a bullet in the box, until I realised that her seductive smile was thinly veiling the torment I saw in her earlier. She was a relatively good dancer, but it became clear to me that she wasn't comfortable with it, nor was she a natural. Despite my desire to sit back and relax a little, I couldn't watch her in good conscious anymore. I pushed myself up from the chair and moved over to one of the guards.
"How much for a private dance from her?" I asked as I indicated to the woman.
He grinned at me. "She's a hot one, huh? Five bullets for ten minutes."
Five bullets seemed pretty steep but I didn't see any other way to get her by herself. Reluctantly, I agreed and he began to lead me through the club. We rounded a corner and came to two sets of narrow stairs. The set that led up had a closed wooden gate in the way that said 'Kirill's Office' on it and a guard at permanent attention next to it who scowled at me, whereas the other set led down under the club and was completely open. He led me downstairs and to a similarly decorated corridor with three metal sliding doors on either side. He moved to the middle left one, opened it, checked that it was empty and eventually let me in, saying that she would be along shortly. The small room had a comfortable red sofa, a dirty clock, dim mood lighting and not much else. I sat down and had a think about what on Earth I was planning on doing.
By the time the woman came to me a few minutes later, I still didn't have much of a plan. She came in as beautiful as she was before but with a distinct look of worry about her. The door loudly closed behind her and we heard the guard walk back up the loud stairs.
Tentatively, she looked at me and asked, "Did you want a dance, then?" I considered it for a second before deciding against it and refusing. She looked confused for a second before her eyes widened with anxiety and she took a step back. "What do you want from me?"
Realising that I must have seemed extremely creepy, I tried to reassure her. "I don't want anything, I saw you earlier and I want to help." I made space on the sofa and beckoned her to sit next to me.
She cautiously sat down and asked, "What do you mean?"
"I'm going to take a wild guess here. You're not here of your own free will, are you?" She timidly shook her head. "I want to help you get out of here. I don't think it's right to force you into this."
A big smile came across her face. "Seriously?" She asked in disbelief. I nodded and she immediately moved in to hug me. She put her weight on my side and I briefly let out a small moan of pain. She quickly retracted and looked concerned.
Through a grimace, I said, "Forgot to mention." I lifted up my shirt a little to show her my bloody dressings.
"I'm so sorry. Are you alright?"
"I'm fine, don't worry. Now, how about escaping?"
"I can't just walk out the front door. I don't see how you plan on doing this."
"That guy that dragged you here said that you were 'Kirill's property,' right? Maybe I could just buy you back or something?"
She shook her head. "I'm not sure that would work. He'd charge a stupid price that I'm not sure anyone would be able to pay. He is a betting man, though. Maybe you could use that?"
"Yeah, that could work. Play a card game or something?" I thought for a moment after realising that I didn't know many card games well enough to bet with. "I'll figure something out." I reached into my pocket and pulled out five bullets. "Here's your payment for the ten minutes."
"I can't accept this if you're planning on breaking me out."
"It'll look suspicious if I don't. If it really eats away at you, you can pay me back later."
She smiled and gave me a much more careful hug. "Thank you. I'm Sofia by the way. Sofia Fedorova."
"Call me Egor… Kozlov." I couldn't think of a fake last name once I'd started saying my own.
She glanced up at the clock. "We've still got ages. Can I ask why you're doing this?"
I thought about my answer for a moment as I didn't exactly know, myself. "I've been travelling through horrible places today. I've seen and heard disgusting things that no one should ever go through. I came across someone in a similar, albeit slightly worse, situation to you but I couldn't do anything about it. Then I saw you and a vague chance to improve someone's life and I want to take it since I actually have the opportunity this time."
"You're clearly far too kind to belong to this station."
"The other women here. Are they trapped here as well?"
"As far as I can tell, they're working here out of choice. I don't know whether it's just to make ends meet or not, but they choose to work here." She let out a deep sigh. "This place is a fucking shithole. What even brought you here?"
"I've been looking for my friend, Alex. I don't suppose you've seen him, have you?" I described him a bit but she simply shook her head. "Didn't think so. Anyway, we were scavenging around the northern arc and he ended up being captured by the Reich. I've been trying to follow him and thought I'd tracked him down to here, but the door guards said that no one's come through."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I hope you find him."
"How did you end up here? Presumably, they don't force their own women in this."
"I used to live in Lubyanka with my family." I raised an eyebrow at her. I thought I'd misheard as I didn't think that anyone actually lived in Lubyanka, I thought that it was simply a Gulag. "Yeah, that Lubyanka. The Red rule there is ridiculously oppressive. My father served them for years and they still barely gave us enough to feed ourselves despite both my Dad and my brother being in their army. They didn't even let me or my mother work to earn extra money. It was awful. So, I spoke out against them. I complained to the overruling lieutenant and begged him for more pay; I tried to garner support and was generally quite vocal about it. My parents initially didn't approve, so I started to do it without them knowing. One day, I was arrested by the Reds and thrown out of Kuznetsky Most into the dangerous tunnel that leads here with absolutely nothing to my name. I found a safer side passage and wound up here where the door guards snatched me up and sent me to Kirill. He put me here and forced me into everything that comes along with it. It's only been a week or so, but it's been horrible." She began to tear up and she put her head in her hands. "I hope my family's ok. I don't want them to have had trouble because of me." I didn't quite know how to react. I had absolutely no idea if her family would be ok or not. I assumed that they wouldn't be given the vindictiveness of those in charge of the Red Line, but I figured that I probably shouldn't say that. She glanced up at the clock and said, "Oh shit, time's nearly up." She looked at me. "Kirill's in his office upstairs. Just tell the guard that you have an offer for him and he should let you through; I've seen other people do it."
"Thanks. Wish me luck." I stood up and made motions towards the door.
"Thank you so much for doing this. I still can't believe it's happening."
I grinned and said, "I wouldn't thank me until it's over."
I left her in the room, moved upstairs and went straight up to the guard at the bottom of Kirill's stairs. I said the exact words that Sofia had mentioned and he did indeed let me through the gate and guide me upstairs. Kirill's office at the top of the building was as large as the room downstairs. The expansive walls were lined with various expensive memorabilia. There were a few large paintings that were good despite their fading and flaking paint; pre-war weapons – such as a Makarov pistol, an AN-94 assault rifle, and a Dragunov sniper rifle among others – a huge and very rare Metro map that showed all of the service tunnels that usually weren't shown, and many other expensive items. I could see where all of the money went to in this place. I made a mental note of the multiple tunnels that came off this station on the map just in case I needed to escape.
Two guards stood to attention at the far corners of the room. In the centre of the far end was a large wooden desk that was covered in bullets and paperwork with an empty office chair behind it and a smaller chair in front. To the desk's right was a comfortable sofa where Kirill sat with two of his scantily clad prostitutes that were clearly pretending to find him sexy.
He noticed us enter and ushered his women off him before moving over to his desk. Kirill was an oddly scrawny man with a tight-fitting white T-shirt, expensive looking beige trousers, moderately long blonde hair and a short but full-faced and well-kept beard. He looked a little older than me but not nearly old enough to be running a station. The guard with me said, "This guy says he has an offer for you of some kind. I let him up because-"
"Yes, yes, yes," Kirill spoke quickly as he interrupted. "I know my own orders." He began to speak condescendingly, "Well done, you can go now." The guard, clearly hating this, left us to it as I stood far away from the desk and the women watched from the sofa. "Come closer! Take a seat." He ordered as he beckoned me. I approached and sat on the chair as he said, "What's this 'deal,' then?"
"Well, sir,"
"No sirs," he interrupted. "Let's just talk business as equals. Call me Kirill."
"Ok. I'm Egor." I replied awkwardly, slightly bemused by the whole experience. I delicately worded my offer. "I would like to make an offer on one of your women."
He glanced over to the women on the sofa before, with an intrigued tone, asking, "Which one?"
"Sofia Fedorova."
"Ah, yes. I know that one. Fiery one, that. Bought her for a hefty sum," he replied, showing his dishonesty. "What's your offer, Mr Egor?"
"Well, I hear you're something of a gambler. Is that right?"
"Go on," he coerced, his intrigue was steadily growing.
"How about we bet on her freedom? If I win, she comes with me; If you win, I stay under your service." What did I just say? I couldn't believe I'd offered my life up for someone I'd just met.
"Sure! Sounds like fun. What's your game?"
"Why don't we take bets on a fighter? Any fights coming up?"
He thought for a moment. "Not as such." He suddenly looked as though he'd had an epiphany before he planted his hands on the desk, leant in and looked me in the eyes. "But you could fight." My eyes widened. I considered myself a decent fighter but I didn't want a fight to the death, especially in my current condition. "I don't mind losing out on your service to see a good fight."
I stuttered as I said, "I'm not sure about that."
"Come on! A man fighting for his life to get the hand of an attractive woman? It's the classic story! I thought you were going to make my life a bit more interesting."
He stared at me as I thought it over. For whatever reason, I really wanted to help Sofia and this seemed like the only way. At least the ten-time champion would be out of action from his last fight. "Fuck it," I said as I stretched my hand out towards him. "Deal."
He gave me a firm handshake. "I'll organise the fight for midnight on the dot."
"Midnight? What time is it now?" I had completely lost track of time during this journey, mostly due to my previous experiences in the last tunnel.
He checked his shining silver watch. "Just gone eleven o'clock. You've got just under an hour to prepare. I'll let Sofia off for the rest of the evening so that you can do whatever it is you kids do before you meet your fate."
I stood up and prepared to leave as I slightly sarcastically said, "You're very generous, Kirill."
"Well, you see, I like those old Hollywood films," he needlessly answered, fortunately not picking up on my sarcasm. "I've managed to get a few of their film reels and they always have some sort of a story like this. I've basically just created my own now." I let out a nervous chuckle as he quickly scribbled on a small piece of paper and stamped it before handing it to me. "Give this to one of my men downstairs." It was a small statement saying that Sofia was free to go for the evening, stamped in red ink with Kirill's own signature. "Don't try to escape though," he warned. "If you try and ruin this for me, you'll know pain like you could never dream of."
I collected my weapons and left with Sofia. She showed me to her place of residence given to her by Kirill. It was absolutely nothing special. It consisted of two rooms; a bedroom with a small single bed, a poorly constructed bedside table, and a small shelf with nothing on it, and a small living area with a single gas cooker, a kettle, a couple of enamelled cups, a chair, and a small set of drawers for the few clothes that she owned (most of them being for the club). She had no decoration to speak of and no personal belongings. Once we got in, she changed into some more comfortable clothes and then called me in to sit on her bed as it was marginally comfier than the floor or the single chair. I explained the situation to her.
"You agreed to what?!" She snapped. "Are you crazy? You barely know me! What about your severe wound and all of that?"
"I know, it sounds ridiculous, but I think I could do ok." She was about to interrupt but I kept talking anyway. "I'm an alright fighter, and I've never been so through sheer strength; I just go for weak spots."
"Look, I appreciate what you're doing, but I'm fine if you want to back out. It's shit here, but it's not worth your life."
"Don't worry, I've got something of a plan." She looked intrigued as I went on to explain. I lifted up the side of my shirt opposite to my wound and showed her the knife. "It would be obvious there without a coat, I know, but I'll tie it to my leg and, if things get a bit hairy, I'll pull it out and get the upper hand."
Her concern continued. "I don't know, sounds like a quick way to get you killed by Kirill's men."
"Well, it's not like I can back out now anyway. I'll have it as a backup."
She looked deeply at me. "I can't remember the last time someone was this ridiculously kind." I looked at her and smiled. She was astonishingly beautiful; I'd never been so entranced by someone. I wondered if that was why I was going to these lengths to help her. Am I that vain? "Does your side hurt?"
Trying to be brave, I replied, "Not really."
She looked at me condescendingly. "I've seen the way you walk. It's painful." She stood up and put her overcoat on. "Since I can't talk you out of this, I'm going to see if I can scrounge up something to help you. You stay here and rest."
I told her that she didn't need to, but she didn't listen and left me alone to think about what I'd agreed to. It was oddly exciting, to be honest. The possibility of me failing fell to the back of my mind and my thoughts were simply clouded by images of me saving Sofia and being the hero.
She returned half an hour later and handed me a tiny plastic bag that contained two small white pills. "I have it on good authority that these are painkillers."
I took the bag and sceptically looked at it. "Who's authority?"
She sat next to me on the bed. "We've got a doctor here. He's a really nice guy and wouldn't hurt a soul even if he wanted to. Trust me, they'll be fine." I continued to examine them. I remembered that I had just met this woman, they could be anything. "Come on, you're offering to free me. I'm not going to try and poison you. That would be dumb."
She made a lot of sense to me. "I suppose so." Perhaps I was blinded by seeing her in the club, but I threw caution to the wind and took the pills with a small amount of water from one of her cups and relaxed. We didn't speak much before the fight, we simply thought things through. I thought about my fighting strategy as much as I could. I wasn't going to do it cleanly, I was going to use whatever advantage I could get and go for the weakest points; the neck, the stomach, the crotch, I didn't care.
When the time came, I prepared my knife by tying it to my shin. We left my coat and the rest of my equipment in Sofia's place and left for the arena.
There were even more people at this fight than the last one, despite the last one's apparent importance; there were upwards of thirty people filling out the stands. There were four guards in Kirill's section of the stands, but no Kirill present. I gave Sofia my remaining fifteen bullets and told her to bet on me. It was a no-brainer to me. If I won, I'd get a load of money; If I lost, I wouldn't give a shit because I'd be dead. Before we reached the stands where we were due to separate, she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and said, "Good luck," with a warm smile. It was encouraging to say the least, as was the fact that her strong painkillers had severely numbed my painful wound. I moved around to the entrance of the arena at the very bottom of the station. Kirill was already there to meet me.
"Good to see someone's punctual, at least," he said as I approached. "Your opponent will be here soon, I'm sure. Go right on through. We'll get things started." He barged through the large gates and spoke loudly to the crowd. "Attention everyone!" The murmuring crowd quickly silenced. "I welcome you to a fight that's close to my heart. This man is fighting for the hand of a beautiful woman! Give it up for Egor… Something." He looked over at me and I mouthed my last name. "Kozlov! From…" He looked at me and hurriedly whispered, "Where are you from?"
"Let's just say Hansa."
"From Hansa!" The crowd cheered and I spotted Sofia amongst them as I moved to the far side of the arena. She smiled and gave me a quick wave before looking back to Kirill. One of the guards in his section of the stands looked down at the other side of the entrance and gave Kirill a thumbs-up. Kirill breathed a sigh of relief before continuing. "And facing him in this trial of love!" He gestured to the door as it swung open. "Ten-time champion; Ruslan Utkin!" The massive shirtless man took large strides into the arena and stared me down as the crowd cheered even louder for him.
Shit. I thought that he'd be out of action for ages after his monumental fight. I briefly hoped that he'd at least be weaker than before but he didn't seem fazed by his still-present cuts and bruises on his face and body. The nerves took hold of me as the reality of fight came crashing down again, but I tried to give some semblance of aggression towards him.
Kirill turned to me and yelled, "Anything you want to say before we begin?" I quickly shook my head. He looked surprised at the lack of fighting talk but carried on with his shtick regardless. He looked to Ruslan. "What have you got for us?"
Ruslan had a deep, gravelly voice and stared at me the entire time he spoke. He definitely succeeded in intimidating me. "I'm going to turn you into a paste that not even a fucking snout would eat. I've killed men twice your size, I'm not about to be beaten by a fucking child." It was an odd insult as he couldn't have been much older than myself. He spat towards me, making the saliva thankfully land just in front of my feet. The audience cheered loudly again. I must have shown some fear because he gave me an aggressive grin as if he'd already won.
Kirill took a step back and shouted to the audience once more in his showman tone. "Woah. Tempers are high tonight! Last chance to place a bet!" He waited for a little while as the bookies moved through the audience and collected the last holdouts for a bet. Ruslan stared at me the entire time. I tried to look anywhere but at him just to calm my nerves slightly but it didn't work. Once he'd got the thumbs-up from the bookies, Kirill shouted out, "The betting is now closed! Now, who wants to see a fight?!" The audience cheered as loudly as they could and most of them stood up to do so. During this excessive cheering, Kirill left the arena and quickly moved up the steep staircase outside the arena to get to his private seat that was surrounded by four armed guards. A large wooden bar went across the other side of the gates, locking us in. Once the crowd had died down, he continued. "Are you ready in the ring?!" Ruslan roared formidably but I simply nodded up to Kirill, surprising him again. He hesitated slightly before returning to his rehearsed prologue, "Excellent! Fight!"
The crowd cheered again as Ruslan and I raised our fists into a fighting stance. Despite his confidence, Ruslan wasn't taking this quickly. We circled each other for a little while as we sized each other up. He was significantly taller than I remembered. I wasn't exactly short, but he towered above me. He was wide as well but made completely of muscle. I was seriously regretting agreeing to this. It started to remind me of my fights as a teenager; I'd beaten up several people that were much older and stronger than me just from having the right technique and enough anger. However, in those situations, I didn't have a nearly fatal demon wound weighing me down.
We edged towards each other, neither one of us wanting to make the first move. After obeying the crowd that was slowly getting bored, Ruslan lunged at my face with his fist. I ducked out of the way and went for his stomach, but he saw it coming and dodged it, leaving us in exactly the same circumstances as before. I tried to remember his previous fight and recalled that he tended to be caught out by Daniel's kicks. He went for my stomach with his fist but I dodged out of the way and immediately put all of my force into kicking his shin as his weight carried him forward. I caught it and he tripped and stumbled forward allowing me to quickly follow it up with a hard punch to his solid stomach. He coughed and spluttered as he bent over and held his stomach, but he caught his balance and managed to stay upright. The punch hurt my hand slightly and I had to shake it off to alleviate it somewhat. I tried to do it subtly, but he noticed and grinned as he edged towards me again.
He went for another punch to my face but swung too early, his fist flew just past my nose and missed me. I took the opportunity and leant in to go for his face, but I didn't see his elbow still heading straight for me. It collided with the side of my face with force. Pain shot through me as a tooth was knocked loose and a mixture of saliva and blood flew out of my mouth. I stumbled to the arena's side wall and nearly fell to the floor but just about managed to keep my balance. He was following it up with an uppercut to my chin but I noticed it just in time and staggered backwards, colliding clumsily with the arena wall but just about in safety. He was going for me again to capitalise on me being on the defensive, so I pushed off the arena wall and scrabbled along the floor slightly as I moved a few feet away from him to reevaluate my tactics. My face was in serious pain but I pushed it to the back of my mind and focused.
He was up against the wall, I had an opportunity. I charged at him as he was turning around to face me again. I lowered myself, wrapped my arms around his upper body and used my shoulder to force him into the barricade. He let out a pained grunt as the wood broke on his back but I didn't waste any time. I kept him there and brought my knee into his stomach. His pain became louder as I landed two more hits before I felt that I'd got lucky enough and released him to hop backwards and out of his range. He was still leaning stunned against the wall, so I went to kick his crotch in the hopes of incapacitating him once and for all. He grabbed my foot and grinned as he pushed himself off the barricade. He pulled me closer to him as his arms firmly gripped higher and higher up my leg before he pushed me down to the ground. I hit the hard concrete with serious force that sent waves of pain through my spine. I let out a pained moan as he let go of my leg and rushed around to my side. He went to stomp on my face, but I came to my senses and rolled out of the way before staggering as I inelegantly stood upright again.
"You've got more fight than I expected, I'll give you that," he growled. I said nothing and focused on staying conscious. Possibly offended by my lack of a reply, he charged at me with the hopes of landing a big hit on my face. I dodged around him but crouched down to grab his leg. Throwing him completely off balance, he landed on the floor hard and finally let out an actual cry of pain as the thud from his massive form echoed through the station. Still holding his leg, I lifted his foot up and took a small amount of time in aiming my next move. I forced my foot into the back of his shin and pulled his foot towards me against the pressure with as much force as I could muster. The haunting sound of his bones snapping resonated through the arena as the audience let out a loud empathy wince. I lifted his foot again and threw it into the ground so that his knee impacted with the solid concrete and stepped away. He struggled to stand up again as I caught my breath and the crowd watched with silent anticipation. By putting most of his weight on his good leg, he somehow stood up and glared at me through his immense pain.
"I. Will not. Be beaten. By a fucking child!" He spat through laboured breaths as he reached into his trousers and unsheathed a very similar blade to my own.
"What the fuck?!" I shouted as I glanced up to Kirill. He simply shrugged his shoulders as the crippled Ruslan inched towards me. "So that's how we're playing it, huh?!" I backed off slightly and reached down to unsheathe my own blade. Ruslan showed surprise but carried on regardless. We both held our knives with the blade facing outwards as I readied myself, for once being more agile than him. He swung down at me, not aiming for anything in particular, so I dodged out of the way and went to stab his arm. He saw it coming and grabbed my knife-wielding arm with his free hand to stop it. He raised his other arm to slash me but misjudged the distance and the handle collided with my wounded side with a lot of power. I swore loudly and broke free of his grip to stagger backwards and desperately hold my wound. I felt dizzy from the pain and I had trouble focusing on what was happening. I had to use the wall to support myself as I tried to regain my composure.
"Hit a. Weak spot. Have I?" He snarled through gritted teeth as he limped towards me ever closer. I tried to steady myself, but it was difficult through the torment that my side was giving me. I managed to come to my senses as he went straight for my side. He was clearly not expecting me to react, so I moved as fast as I could to the side to avoid him. He sliced through my shirt and caught my arm as I did so. I fought to ignore the pain as I grabbed his knife-wielding hand and pushed it towards the floor. I pulled him down with it as his other arm wrapped around me over my shoulder. I lifted my leg up over his knife-wielding hand and pushed it down to the bloodstained ground with my foot. I crushed his hand between my boot and the floor and screwed my foot so that the guard on the knife twisted in such a way that I heard several of his fingers break. He screamed as his massive sweaty and slightly bloody arm tensed and lowered me down with him. I brought my own knife around and tried to stab his back. I hit his shoulder blade so it didn't penetrate far, but it sliced across it and towards his spine which made his arm release me and meant that I was able to dart backwards. The knife fell out of his broken fingers and he stared up at me in a rage with red streaming eyes. My recuperation gave him enough time to pick his knife up with his off-hand.
"You're fucking finished. Just give up!" I shouted, not particularly wanting to actually kill a man.
"Fuck. You," was all I got in return.
"Crazy fucking bastard," I muttered in disbelief. He continued to approach as he had done in the past and readied an attack. I couldn't believe his resilience. I turned my knife around in my hand and readied myself. In a surprising move, he inaccurately lobbed his knife at me, aiming for my side. My reactions had been severely impacted by the fight, so I didn't have enough time to move any meaningful distance out of the way. The knife hit my gauzed wound and, while not penetrating deep, cut into it. I let out a cry and fought to keep my balance again as the projectile knife clattered to the floor and he approached. He sped up in a rage as I could concentrate on nothing but the pain pulsing through me. His fist came hurtling towards me, I realised it just too late as it connected with the side of my mouth. Blood spat out of my it as the punch sent me flying to the side. I collapsed on the floor a good few feet away from Ruslan and remained on all fours as I tried to focus myself. I let go of my knife but its guard kept it from leaving my hand completely. Blood dripped out of my mouth and onto the already bloodstained floor as I took heavy breaths.
I heard Ruslan approach but I couldn't muster the energy to move. A hand grabbed the back of my shirt and pushed me over onto my back. Ruslan was staring down at me with a smirk. I didn't know what he had planned, but the reality of facing death hit me and I gripped my knife again. In a sudden burst of surprising energy, I lifted it around and plunged it into the thigh of his good leg. I let go of the weapon as Ruslan shrieked with pain and collapsed to the floor on his back next to me. Not wanting to waste time, I scrabbled to get up and quickly pulled my knife out of his leg, causing him yet more pain. I felt anger overcome me as I kneeled over him and forced the blade down into his stomach. All of the air escaped his lungs as I pulled the knife out and stabbed him again. He coughed up a small amount of blood as the life drained from his body. I yanked the knife out again and moved it to his chest, where I found a spot between his ribs and slowly penetrated it into his vital organs. He began to gurgle blood as his mouth filled up and his eyes glazed over. I held the knife as I looked over him and tried to catch my breath. The crowd was completely silent. The adrenaline began to fade and all of my new and old injuries began to throb painfully.
"We have a new winner!" Kirill shouted as he leapt to his feet and began to clap. "Egor…" He hesitated as he tried to remember my name. "Egor Kozlov!" The crowd suddenly created a wall of sound. Some of it cheering, most of it booing. They clearly had a lot of money on Ruslan. I didn't blame them, I didn't believe in myself either. Kirill leapt down to my level. "Congratulations! It may not have been the most, uh, conventional victory. But you won a technically fair fight nonetheless! You won the title of champion, my respect, and the girl!" He gestured towards Sofia in the crowd. She had just collected her winnings and was standing and clapping for me. I grinned a little but didn't say anything. I was amazed and horrified at what I had just done. I'd never taken someone's life before. A relative rarity in the Metro where killers waited in even the most minor tunnels. I didn't feel much sympathy; we both knew what we were getting into and he pulled the knife first. Calling it a just death would be going a bit far, but it certainly wasn't unfair. I was actually surprised at how little remorse I felt in the end.
The pain of my wounds really started to kick I, I felt weak and dizzy again. I pulled my knife out of Ruslan's body and sheathed it so that I could hold my side and look over the cut on my arm. It wasn't hugely deep but it was still very painful; I knew at least I wouldn't lose the use of it. I remained in place taking tortured breaths as I ignored the rest of the world and focused on the pain. Kirill kneeled down next to me. "Best fight in a long time. Come on, let's get you to your winnings." He ordered one of his men to put an arm under my shoulder and haul me out of the ring. He left me next to the wall to lean up against it and support myself as I continued to clutch my side. "Here she comes now!" Kirill excitedly exclaimed. Sofia came running around and rushed to give me a hug that served to both support and congratulate me.
"Well done, Egor. That was amazing!"
"Congratulations, Sofia!" Kirill began with a strange excitement considering he'd lost a slave of his. "You've bagged yourself a good one there. You're free to do as you please." He dropped his tone suddenly. "Be out of your house by eleven." She didn't respond before he left us. The crowd started to dissipate and we heard various rumblings of both annoyed and excited people talking about the fight.
"Let's get you back to mine." She began the lengthy process of hauling me away from the arena. "You seriously need a rest."
She eased me onto her bed. "I can't believe you won. You actually won!" She said excitedly once I was on the bed. "You did amazingly."
I managed to quietly say, "Doesn't feel like it."
She lightly laughed. "We should redress that stomach wound. I didn't mention at the time in case you thought I didn't believe in you, but I managed to get a few medical supplies from the doctor as well." She pulled up her chair and began to peel away the gauze around my stomach. The process was incredibly painful as the gauze stuck to the wound and I loudly groaned and moaned as she pulled it away, especially when I had to lift my back up so that she could completely unwrap it. She finally saw the open wound which now had another slice added to it and was severely bruised from all of the hits I'd taken to it over the last few hours. "Jesus. What did this to you?" Sofia asked.
I thought about telling her, but eventually just said, "Can I explain later?" I didn't have the energy to go into it.
"Right, of course. Sorry." She washed off the wound with water and disinfectant, an extraordinarily painful process, and redressed it in fresh gauze. She did the same for my arm cut and also cleaned up the hits I'd taken to the face and my bloody knuckle. I didn't feel able to move much for a little while, so we agreed to wait before moving off.
"Check out how much you won from your bet." She pulled twelve bullet clips out of her larger overcoat pocket, amounting to a total of sixty bullets.
"Fuck me. That's a lot. You should keep half."
"What? Why? You earned them."
"Just take them."
She split the bullets with a constant look of surprise. "Thank you. I'll have to pay you back someday." We sat in silence for a brief period before she said, "I have to ask; what was all of that 'fighting for your girl' thing about?"
I let out a slightly laboured laugh. "Right, yeah. He seemed to latch onto this Romeo and Juliet Hollywood fantasy of his. I figured I'd let him run with it since it helped my case somewhat."
She chuckled. "I found it pretty funny. He made it so dramatic." She paused for a moment. "So, what's your real name?" I glanced at her and raised an eyebrow. "Come on, you're clearly not comfortable when you say 'Egor'."
"Fine, you got me. Ilia."
"Is Kozlov real?" I nodded. "Ilia Kozlov. Suits you better." She grinned at me as I chuckled. "So, Ilia Kozlov, what did you have planned now?"
"I'm not really sure. I was thinking about this earlier. Maybe Alex managed to get to the Revolyutsii-Kurskaya tunnel. I think that goes pretty close to here at some point and it wouldn't be too hard to find a minor tunnel that goes between this station and it."
"Well I'll follow you wherever. I can't go back home and you literally saved my life. I owe you everything."
"Thank you. I feel like I'll need the help. I saw on Kirill's fancy map that there's a service tunnel that leads from here to that tunnel. You wouldn't happen to know anything about it, would you?"
She thought for a moment. "There's a door that seems to face that direction on the opposite side of the station. Could be that. We can go there later if you like?"
"That would be great."
We talked for about an hour while I recuperated slightly, during which I found out something about the history of the station that Sofia had picked up during her short time. As it turned out, Kitay-Gorod had only relatively recently collapsed into the conglomerate it was at this point. It used to be two separate but linked stations that were controlled by two different families of what essentially amounted to groups of bandits and lawbreakers. Their separate religions often caused violent conflicts between them. Eventually, they made peace and lived in relative stability for some time as they continued their nefarious, traditionally law-breaking ways. No one quite knew what actually happened to the stations in the end, but the apparently weakened underbelly of the station gave way and collapsed into what I saw that day. No one made it out alive and Kirill, being an enterprising leader of a small group of bandits at the time, discovered the ruins and transformed it into its vague representation of its former self.
When I was ready, Sofia hauled me off the bed; I still wasn't perfect but I felt like I could walk by myself. We gathered all of my equipment and refilled my first aid kit with Sofia's medical supplies; I also decided to leave the knife where I had it on my leg during the fight, it was good to have a backup like that.
"You should take one of my revolvers," I said as I pointed to the two of them in their holsters now lying on the bed.
"Thanks. Any one in particular?"
"Go for the one without the 'ML' carved into the handle."
She looked slightly confused as she picked up her revolver and put the holster on. "Why ML? If you don't mind me asking."
"Remember that woman that was in a similar situation to you?" She slowly nodded with intrigue. "Those are her initials."
"Did you know her well?"
"Not at all. I literally only know her name. But she gave her life in trying to escape and in doing so allowed me to escape. It's just a stupid symbolic thing, I guess. I'll tell you more if we get a chance later."
"Yeah, you must. You seem to have a lot of stories to tell."
"Far too many."
Despite the late hour, everything in the station was still in full-swing; it seemed as though the residents didn't pay attention to the clock much. The walk to the other side was oddly tense. We noticed a few people glaring at us as we passed them. I initially chalked it up to being an outsider, but it felt like more than that.
We came across a small marketplace where we thought that it would be a good idea to stock up a bit with our newfound money. We approached one of the nicer looking vendors, a large man who seemed to have an oddly expansive stock. He must have done well out of this station. He sat behind a wooden stall that was covered in all manner of items. There were posters, pre-war magazines (most of which were pornographic), bottles of mushroom vodka, clothes, and even dog toys. The items that attracted us, however, were the few gas masks and the bucket of filters.
"Hey, it's Egor!" He called as we approached. "Great fight! What can I do for you?"
"Thanks," I awkwardly replied. "How much for a gas mask?"
"They're fifty bullets to the common man with fifteen for each filter." He saw my look of surprise. "It's top quality stuff, those filters have barely been used and will last you longer than most of the shit you find around here." He leant in towards us and spoke quietly. "You earned me a lot of money yesterday, though. So, it's only right that I do something for you." He picked up the gas mask and thrust it towards me. "Take it. I'll still have to charge you for the filters, but this'll cut the cost a lot."
I took the mask and replied, "Thanks, that's awfully kind of you," before handing it to Sofia. We bought a filter each and prepared to leave him to his business.
"I don't mean to be rude," the vendor began as we took steps away. We stopped and turned back to listen to what he had to say. "But I think you two should leave the station soon."
"And why is that?" I asked, thinking that it was a threat.
"A lot of people around here don't like that you beat Ruslan. I've heard some mutterings about getting payback on you." He nodded his head towards a couple of people behind us that were talking to each other without taking their eyes off me. "Someone said to me that they didn't think you fought fair with your knife."
I turned back to him. "But he pulled a knife first!"
"I know, I saw. I didn't say I thought that they were right. People liked Ruslan, they'd have done it to that Daniel guy if he'd won."
I sighed heavily. "Alright, thanks for the warning."
"No worries. Keep fighting strong."
I turned to Sofia. "Come on, let's get a move on. I don't fancy any more fighting for now." She nodded and began to lead me through the station again. We noticed the people staring a lot more now so we quickened our pace as much as my wounds would let me. We quickly clambered up the stairs that led to the station platform's original height. Feeling nervous, we rushed over to the small door as a small crowd gathered at the bottom of the stairs, most of them brandishing weapons. Sofia wrenched open the stiff door and ushered me through before entering herself and slamming it closed behind her. The passage was obviously never used as its lights weren't powered. I retrieved my flashlight and lit up the cobweb-infested corridor.
"This should be the one you saw on Kirill's map," Sofia said with some uncertainty.
"You sure about that?"
"Not in the slightest, but it's the best we've got."
"Better than being with the mob, at least."
We moved through the tunnel in silence. There was nothing much of interest along the way, occasionally there would be a small room with some old monitoring equipment or empty storage space in separate rooms, but generally we just followed the only path available to us. I felt exhaustion overcoming me as we moved down the multiple staircases and through the corridors of this small tunnel. I realised that I hadn't properly slept during this whole endeavour. I unwillingly let out a large yawn that I hoped Sofia wouldn't notice, but I had no such luck.
She stopped me and asked, "You tired?"
"I'm fine. We should keep moving."
"If you're tired, we should find somewhere for you to sleep. Facing the tunnels is hard enough without exhaustion weighing you down. When was the last time you slept?"
"I was unconscious for a small amount of time before I got to Kitay-Gorod."
"You've really been through it, haven't you?" I nodded to her, not realising that she could barely see my head in the darkness as my light was pointing towards her. "You know that doesn't count, though."
"I've had bits here and there. Let's just keep going for now." I began to move off and continue down the passage. "If we see somewhere, we can discuss getting some sleep."
We reached an open door that led into a larger tunnel. It looked like the one we were after so I had a look in while Sofia checked out a door next to it that led into a small room still in the service tunnel. We'd previously checked the room opposite Sofia's and it had a wheel locked door that presumably led to the surface; we didn't want to tangle with that.
A look to the right of the large tunnel, in what we assumed was Kurskaya's direction, revealed a severely frustrating sight. The entire tunnel had collapsed and blocked our way through. A mountain of rubble had caved in and a huge mound of concrete, metal supports and rock filled the tunnel. The tunnel in Revolyutsii's direction was in some disrepair, but it was at least traversable as far as we could see.
"Ilia, get back in here!" Sofia called to me. Thinking that something was wrong, I rushed into the room that she was checking and had a look around. She'd found a switch to turn on a dim yellow bulb in the centre of the small room, although I couldn't see the switch for the life of me. The far corner had collapsed slightly and a few of the pipes were broken from it. On the cracked and broken floor was a single spread out bedroll against the wall. "Reckon this is a good place to sleep?"
"It's a little unsafe, isn't it?"
"Where isn't? Come on. We can continue later, you need some proper rest. I can keep watch." I reluctantly agreed before I dropped my equipment off next to the bedroll and laid down. I didn't want to stop following Alex, but when I yawned again, I realised that I would have to sleep. We weren't even sure if we were following him anymore.
"The route the Kurskaya is fucked, by the way. The tunnel has completely collapsed. He could have gone to Revolyutsii, though."
"To the Reds? Why would he do that?"
"He might not have known. I'm not entirely sure that he came here at all though."
She sat next to me and thought for a moment. "We'll think about it later. Can I quickly check your wounds? Make sure the dressings have held."
I took my coat and shirt off to reveal the menagerie of cuts and bruises across my body as well as the gauze across me. "Go for it."
She spent a little bit of time checking over the more major wounds before she pointed to one of the smaller cuts on my face. "Where did you get this?"
I felt it on my cheek before remembering and chuckling to myself. "That's the result of a combination of a spider that bit me when I was playing dead for the Nazis, and a different Nazi slamming my face into a wall." I went on to explain how this all started to her. She was utterly entranced by my stories of the Führer's speech and how I thought that I'd blended in, only to find that I seriously hadn't.
"Where'd you get your massive ones, then?"
"Oh, you know. A demon." I felt oddly proud of my tangle with the demon on the surface. It wasn't as if I fought it well, but I was one of a few people to have actually seen one. Even fewer people escaped a fight with them alive as well, so it made me look better despite my cowardice at the time.
Her eyes widened in shock. "A demon? Christ, Ilia." I told her of my time on the surface, possibly making myself sound a little braver than I actually was. I got onto telling her about my encounter with the watchers. She indicated to my group of bruises and scratches on the centre of my upper chest. "Is that where you got all of these, then?"
"Them, and a series of cuts and bruises on my back where one of them launched me into a wall."
"How are you still able to stand?"
I laughed with her. "I have no fucking idea." She shuffled in her position but suddenly showed a look of discomfort. She reached for what she had just sat on and pulled out a large bullet. I didn't pay much attention to it until it burst into flame. "Huh, it's a lighter," she with mild interest as she closed the cap to put it out. I quickly sat up, immediately regretting it when a wave of pain washed through me from my side, and snatched it from her hands. It was the lighter that Alex had found back when we were together. I stared in wonder at it. "You alright?" Sofia asked with some confusion.
I showed it to her again. "It's Alex's!"
She didn't quite register what I said at first. "What?"
"He was here!"
"Oh shit, that's great!"
"We should go, he could be close!"
"No, Ilia." She was stern as she took the lighter away from me. "You need to rest." I was about to interrupt be she shushed me. "You need to sleep. If he went to Revolyutsii, you need to be awake." I fought her a little, but I knew that she was right. When I started to yawn as I was putting forward my argument, I knew that she'd won. I laid down but was too excited to sleep, I felt like I had nearly found Alex. "How come you and your friend are so close?" Sofia asked as she noticed my wide-open eyes. "Sorry, I know I told you to sleep, but I don't think I've ever met anyone that would go to these lengths for someone that's not even family."
I sat up and thought about my answer. "He basically is family to me. You know the Hansa – Red Line War?"
She nodded. "I lived in Lubyanka, how could I not?" She began to mockingly imitate her communist leaders. "'General Secretary Moskvin achieved a great victory during the negotiations in securing Revolyutsii for the glory of the Red Line.' Morons. Everyone knows that Hansa basically won it."
It was oddly interesting hearing the communist side of the story. We'd always been told pretty much the same message but from the Hansa side. She was right, though, Hansa did essentially win it. They managed to close the ring through the negotiations and secure their future for years to come while the Red Line got access to Revolution Square for some symbolism. I laughed at her impression.
"Yeah, that war," I confirmed. "Both Alex's father and my own fought and died in that war."
"Oh god, I'm sorry. That's terrible."
"It's ok, I've had enough time to deal with it. In fact, in a weird way, it was kind of what brought Alex and I together. Our mothers had been told the whole truth, but we had essentially been told that we should be extremely proud of our 'brave and courageous' fathers. And we were proud. We paraded up and down the station singing our fathers' praises." I paused and looked away as I began to dredge up some painful memories. "I…" I stuttered as I struggled to continue. "I don't normally go any further than this with the story."
Sofia put her hand on my shoulder. "If you don't want to go on, that's fine."
"No, it's ok. I guess it's good to talk about it." I paused and took a deep breath as I composed myself. "My mother was never very good with me, to be honest. She wasn't a bad mother, but she never told me the truth and she kept a lot of things bottled up. During the few weeks after we were told of my father's death, my mother kept telling me that everything was ok, that she was handling it, all while spending our family's bullets on drinking her feelings away. I spent a lot of time at Alex's; my mother couldn't look after me and Alex's mother was nice enough to take me in for a while each day." I felt a lump in my throat and tried to swallow it down but to no effect. "A few weeks after my father's death, I came home from a day at Alex's." Water began to fill my eyes. I tried to blink it away but it was formed as fast as I could. I tried swallowing the lump away again, but nothing happened. Sofia handed me my water canteen and I took a large drink. "I came home expecting to be there alone, she was never back until I was already in bed at this point. I opened the flap of our tent, and there she was. Hanging from the ceiling. Fucking dead."
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Ilia." She brought me in for a careful hug as a tear rolled down my cheek.
"No note. No explanation. Just bottles of fucking mushroom vodka strewn about the place." Sofia was the first person that I'd told about this since I'd first told Alex. I never expected the emotions to flow like they were, but I'd kept it bottled up for so long with everyone that I came across that I couldn't help it. "I ran out of that place screaming and went straight for Alex's." We retracted from the hug but Sofia gently rubbed my arm as I continued. "Alex's mother took me in but I refused to talk to anyone about it for ages. It messed me up for a long time." We didn't talk for a few minutes as I snivelled and Sofia tried to comfort me. "Sorry. I didn't mean to go into that. You only asked how I knew Alex."
"No, it's fine. I'm happy that you shared." She smiled and put her arm around me. She offered a great sense of comfort. I eventually laid down as Sofia went on watch. It felt oddly good to get all of that off my chest.
