A/N: 50 Chapters? Wow.
We used to be best friends, Iron Woman, I mean, Samus and I… Until he, er, until she started letting the man give her orders. By the man, I mean half man. Actually, less than half a man. More like, a quarter of a man. Or a sixteenth. Maybe a bit smaller still. The man is actually just a hand.
But it's a Master Hand.
Anyways, she started taking orders from this Master Hand guy, and now she has to retrieve this one piece of pizza. Thing is, the pizza belonged to my good pal, Solid has this bionic arm or something. Actually, that arm's really his genetically superior brother, who Snake is somehow better than anyways. It's a bit complicated.
Anyways, she got orders to kill him to get the pizza, so I stepped in, like the Justice Seeker that I am. Things started getting a little hairy, so I asked Falco to help. Fox, who came dressed in all black and insisted he be called "Black Fox" for some reason, and joined Samus's side just because Falco was on my side.
Figures, they always were rivals.
I needed more numbers, and fast. So, I phoned my good pal Link, who came. Peach followed because she's Peach.
We were looking prime to defeat Samus when she smiled a devilish smile and snapped her fingers. Instantly, Dark Samus and Cloud teleported in.
If that wasn't bad enough, Shiek sneaked up from behind, and after seeing Peach on my side, joined Samus's side.
Thankfully, I have a secret weapon: Kirby. Now, that may not be much, but his newly discovered "Ant" ability is sure to take them by surprise. I'm sure Samus has a secret weapon too, though, like another Kirby with a "Spider" ability or something.
Nah, that would be ridiculous.
CAPTAIN FALCON: CIVIL WAR
Coming to theatres all over Smash-City Octoburary 32 1926
