Chapter 4
Rey leaned back in her seat and took a deep breath. They were safe, for now. She and Chewie left the cockpit and found Finn and Poe crouched on the ground next to Allana. ''Whats wrong,'' asked Rey.
''Nothing,'' Allana said, standing up. ''These two nerf herders seem to think that I've been mortally injured.''
''You got shot,'' said Poe as he scrambled to his feet.
''And you hit your head,'' said Finn.
''I got shot in the shoulder, it's not a big deal, and I've been hit in the head way harder than this.''
''Allana,'' said Poe in a warning tone.
Allana wasn't listening. She was walking in a slow circle taking in everything. Chewbacca put a hand on her shoulder.
You all right cub?
''Yes Chewie, I'm fine. It's just been so long since I've been on this ship. It's really overwhelming.''
I understand cub. I wish things could have turned out differently.
Allana nodded softly and squared her shoulders. ''I'm going to just walk around for awhile. I want to see what's changed. If you need my help with something though...''
''Walk around,'' Rey said. ''I'm going to see if there are any repairs that need to be done. Chewbacca, Finn, come help me.''
Allana started walking around the small ship. Her mind became flooded with memories of when she felt safe and happy. She ran her hand over the spot on the wall where Ben had accidently crashed his remote control X-wing. She smiled at the stain on the metal floor where she had spilled oil while trying to help her dad. Allana could almost see her parents cooking in the galley together, her mom reading to her brother, and her father teaching her how to play cards. Every room brought back painful memories. She stopped in front of the captain's quarters.
She had seen the rest of the ship, and she knew that she couldn't avoid this room forever. She reached out shakily to unlock the door. Allana hoped that her father had taken her fingerprint off, and that the door wouldn't unlock. She had no such luck. The door slid open with a loud hiss, and she was taken aback at what she saw.
The room looked as if he had never left. The bed was unmade, pieces of paper were scattered all over the desk, and an empty mug sat on a shelf. Hell, the room still had his scent. She walked over to his desk and started rifling through the papers and data pads scattered across his desk. Most of them were about smuggling or were captain's logs, but when she got to the bottom of the pile she stopped short.
They were letters, well the beginnings of letters actually. They all started the same way- Dear Leia and Lana. A few of them actually continued past that but didn't say much. Allana started opening desk drawers, hoping she could find letters that were competed. She opened all the drawers and found nothing. Then she remembered the hidden compartment. She opened the top drawer and lifted up the false bottom. What she saw brought tears to her eyes. The drawer was filled with photos, photos from her parents wedding, to the day Ben became a Jedi Knight, and from every day in between. The medal that he received from rescuing Leia sat on top of a stack of large envelopes. The envelopes were labeled with her name, her mother's name, and her brother's name. Underneath their names was a note saying that they were not to be opened until he died. With a shaking hand, she pulled her envelope out of the pile and stared at it. She sat down on the ground and pulled her knees to her chest. The reality of every thing that had happened over the last twenty-four hours hit her like a truck.
''Lana? Are you okay?''
Allana slowly turned to the source of the sound. Poe was standing there in the doorway, a concerned look on his face. He knelt down next to her, so he was eye level with her. The caring look in his eyes was just too much to bear. For the first time in her life, she allowed herself to be vulnerable. Allana broke down into loud sobs. Every emotion that she had held in ever sense Ben turned, came pouring out. Poe wrapped his arms around her and just held her. He stroked her hair and rubbed her back, until her breathing slowed, and she calmed down.
''Come here,'' he said guiding her to the bed. '' Let me look at that wound on your shoulder.''
''Poe, I told you, I don't need a med kit.''
''Please.''
Allana sighed. ''You're not going to leave until you treat it, are you?''
''Nope.''
Allana shrugged off her jacket and hissed as her shirt peeled away from the wound. ''I need you to unbutton your shirt Allana.''
''What?''
''I can't get to the wound with your shirt on. I promise it will be fast.''
She shot him a glare but unbuttoned her shirt so the wound was exposed. He grazed the area around the wound with his finger and sent shivers down her spine. ''Allana, this is horrible.''
''Patch it up already,'' Allana snapped.
Poe worked in silence, applying an antiseptic and then a bacta patch. Poe pretended not notice when she hissed in pain or bit her lip to keep from crying out. ''There. All finished.''
Allana buttoned her shirt back up and pulled her jacket back on.
''Thanks Poe,'' she said softly.
''No problem.''
She turned towards him and found her self so close to him she could feel his breath. Allana sat there frozen. Poe eventually pulled back, and she let out the breath she didn't know she was holding.
Poe grabbed the envelope that was sitting on the floor. ''What's this?''
''I don't know. I found it in a drawer. I think…I think it's a goodbye letter. A letter for me to read after he died.''
''Do you want me to leave?''
''No,'' Allana said sharply, ''I need you here with me. Despite everything that's happened, I still need you.''
Poe nodded and leaned closer to her. Allana opened the envelope and pulled out a letter. She hands shook as she broke the seal.
''Do you want me to read it,'' Poe asked softly.
She nodded and handed the letter to him. He took a deep breath and started reading. ''Dear Lana, if you are reading this then, well I died. I'm no good at this kind of thing, but I'll try my best. Right now, as I'm writing this, it is your eighteenth birthday. It's yet another birthday that I missed out on. I'm so sorry kiddo. You deserve better that me as your old man. You and your mom both deserve better than me. I know that I've been an awful father to you and Ben. I wish I could have been around more. I promised I wouldn't be like my dad and not be around. I guess I was doomed to be like him. If you're reading this, and I haven't had a chance to tell you how sorry I am, I really am sorry. All I want is for you and your mother to forgive me. I love you both so much. In this envelope is a necklace. I bought the necklace the day you were born. I planned on giving it to you on your eighteenth birthday, but now it's your eighteenth birthday and I have no idea where you are. There are also some photos, a few credits, and other things I want you to have. The Falcon is yours by the way. You are the only person who loves this ship as much as I do besides Chewie. Keep her safe for me. I love you Lana. I love you and your mother so much it hurts. Remember that no matter how old you get, you will always be my little girl. Love, Your Dad.''
When Poe had finished that letter, his voice was thick with tears. He looked down and saw tears rolling down Allana's face. ''You okay?''
Allana took awhile to respond. Eventually, in a small voice, she said, ''No. I haven't been okay in a long time. My dad's dead, my aunt's dead, my brother may as well be dead, and I haven't spoken to my mother or uncle in years. How did everything get so screwed up?''
''Lana…''
''I'm serious,'' she said jumping up,'' first my cousin goes missing, then my aunt dies, then Ben turns to the dark side, then my dad and uncle go missing, I screw every thing up with you and my mother, I run away thinking it'll help things, then I figure out my dad died, and here I am sobbing like a baby in your arms. Why are you comforting me anyway? Shouldn't you hate me like everyone else?''
''Lana!''
''What?''
''Stop yelling. You have to breathe, remember.''
Poe put his hands on her shoulders. He didn't move his hands until she made eye contact with him. ''You did nothing wrong.''
''I never said I did.''
''Lana, I know you. You blame yourself for everything, especially things you didn't do or can't control.''
Allana stared at the ground. Poe lifted her chin up until she met his eyes. ''I'm sorry.''
''Poe.''
''I'm sorry.''
''What are you sorry for?''
''For anything I did to make you leave.''
''Poe,'' she said softly.
''Hey.''
Allana and Poe turned to the source of the sound. Rey was standing the doorway awkwardly. ''Sorry to interrupt but Chewbacca made lunch, and we thought you might like some.''
''Yeah I'm starving,'' Allana said as she broke away from Poe.
''Yeah, me too,'' Poe muttered as he followed the girls to the galley.
…
Are you okay cub?
Chewbacca picked up on Allana's emotions as soon as she walked into the galley.
''I'm fine Chewie.''
Allana Padme Solo…
''I promise I'm fine.''
''Can you guys please stop this debate that you're having so we can eat in peace,'' asked Finn, his mouth filled with food.
They ate lunch silently, and afterwards, they all went their separate ways.
…
Rey was wandering around the ship when the sound of muffled crying made her stop in front of the captain's cabin. She knocked softly, and when no one answered, she opened the door. The door slid open to revel Allana with her knees pulled up to her chest, surrounded by photos. Allana turned when she heard the door open. ''Oh, hi Rey.''
''I heard you crying, and I wanted to make sure you were okay.''
''I'm good. I'm just looking at some old photos.''
''Can I see them? You don't have to show them to me if…''
''Rey! Relax, its fine. Come sit.''
Allana moved over and Rey sat down beside her.
''Is this you,'' Rey asked, pointing to a photo of a little girl sticking her tongue out at the camera.
''Yes. My mom wanted to take photos for holiday cards, but I, obviously, didn't feel like cooperating.''
''I bet your mom was not pleased.''
''She got so frustrated with me it was hilarious. My dad on the other hand, thought it was best thing to happen all day. He and I hated these photo shoots she would make us do. My brother however, was my mom's perfect little angel child and didn't complain.''
''Wow! I can't imagine him being an angel anything. Is this him?'' Rey was pointing to a picture of a boy with dark curly hair playing with a young Allana and another girl.
''Yeah. He was 12 in this photo.''
''Who's the other girl in the photo?''
''That's Luminaria. She's Luke's daughter.''
''Luke has a daughter?''
''Had is a better word. This photo was taken right before she disappeared.''
''Disappeared?''
''Yeah. One day they woke up and she was gone. Luke and his wife, Mara, almost went crazy looking for her. They refused to believe she was dead, even though they couldn't sense her though the force anymore. Luke eventually had to go back to teaching, but Mara kept looking for her until the day she died.''
''If you don't mind me asking, how did she die?''
''Kylo Ren killed her.''
''I'm so sorry.''
''It's fine.''
''You were close to your brother weren't you?''
''We were best friends. He was the one person in my life, besides my dad, who could do no wrong.''
Rey tentatively put her arm around Allana, and when she didn't protest, she held her tightly.
''I'm so pathetic,'' Allana said wiping away her tears. ''I'm crying over the man who killed hundreds of people and the two family members I actually got along with.''
''You're not pathetic. He's your brother. It's okay to be upset.''
The girls sat in silence for a little while as Allana cried until she had no more tears left. Eventually Rey pulled away.
''I'm going to go see if anything else broke while I was in here. Do you want to come?''
''Sure, I used to always work on the ship when I was upset. You go on ahead. I'll be there in a second.''
''Okay.''
Rey left the room and left Allana alone with her thoughts.
AN: So clearly Poe and Allana have known each other for a long time, and there is a budding friendship between Allana and Rey. I'm so sorry for not posting! In my attempts to make it up to you, I made this chapter really long, and I will be posting again very soon. I have been crazy busy with school. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please take a little time to review. Disclaimer- I don't own a thing!
