Corrin and Lissa: Six Feet Under


Day 52, Evening


The Princess of Ylisse sat in the medical tent, not too thrilled at the latest report. Gregor had burns on his ears and neck while Nowi was feeling incredibly dizzy from her rodeo a few minutes ago. Corrin on the other hand stood politely by the doorway, hands atop another and resting against her thighs as though she were attempting to be inconspicuous.

"Who's brilliant idea was it to turn into dragons and use your breaths... Indoors?"

"That would be me," Corrin admitted. "Though... I can't use a dragon breath. That bit was Nowi's fault entirely."

Lissa's eye twitched in confusion; her preconceptions of Corrin clearly not adding up to her recent display of... potential fun.

"W-w-wait. Commander/Princess Corrin orchestrated this? This has Nowi's stench written all over it! Are you sure?" The Nohrian nodded, raising an eyebrow.

"Do you doubt my capability to ensue mischief?"

"Sorry, it's just... When you and Robin are talking boring stuff in the war tent... I honestly didn't expect the same Commander to be willing to pull funny pranks!" Lissa smiled sheepishly, still attending to Gregor's neck with her staff.

"Oh, if we're going to be talking about pranks, I'm afraid even with my prior experience, you would have me beat, Princess Elisabeth-"

"Eek! Don't say that name around everyone!" Lissa shrieked, covering Gregor's ears.

"What are you of speaking?" Gregor asked incoherently, not getting a response and fading back into his drowsy state.

Corrin received the mental memo and just smiled at herself, mirroring the Ylissean princess' glare. Lissa reminded Corrin of an Elise in quite a few ways; She even looked and sounded similar to the sprightly girl. Still, Lissa seemed to be a loose cannon, as far as Robin's stories were concerned.

"Just how old are you, Princess Kamui?"

"Oh, that's how we're going to do things? Using my birth name because I used yours? 19," Corrin opened her mouth to add in a few words, but decided she would be the bigger person. Lissa seemed to appreciate that and dropped any playful hostility and continued the conversation.

"Wow! Chrom's 21 now, and I'm 18. Most of the Shepherds are within that ballpark, except these two here."

"I'm guessing 12 and 40?" Corrin attempted, prompting Lissa to laugh at her slight miscalculation.

"Try 52 and 1,000."

"Manaketes, huh," Corrin thought aloud. Lissa scratched her chin thoughtfully before letting out a grin, small enough that Corrin grimaced in anticipation.

"I'm kinda bored... Your prank was a good one, just on the wrong person."

"I dunno, I just watched as Nowi set the camp on fire and injure two people thanks to me."

"Oh, we won't be hurting anyon-"

"That's exactly what Nowi said," Corrin complained with a pout.

"Oh c'mon! I know just who to prank. Trust me, he won't even see it coming."

"Chrom?"

"No, dummy, Robin! He's always so keen with his books and his Commander stuff and his chess thingy that he barely steps outside unless it's time to eat or march or poop!"

"I could've gone without hearing the last part," Corrin stated flatly. "I am fairly certain he socialized a fair amount."

"Ah whatever! It's always great! One time, I stuck a frog in his shirt while giving him a massage-"

"You gave Robin a massage?" Corrin asked skeptically. Massages were usually done between husband and wife in Nohr. At least... the books said so. Lissa didn't quite catch on to her naive question and continued.

"Yep! Healer's job! It's fun watching all the 'big tough warriors' just melt when you find the right knots to burrow your hands into!"

Corrin grimaced at the imagery, and made a mental note not to strain her muscles anytime soon. Or at least have Felicia handle the therapy while she stayed clear of Lissa's path.

"And one time, I put elixir in his smallcl-"

"Th-that's enough. Just tell me what we're going to do that doesn't involve massaging his knots or... you know."

"Ooh! Someone's excited! Well, you know how he never leaves his tent?"


Robin took Cordelia and Subaki's reports with a nod, checking just how many of Gregor's things were lost in the fire. Groaning in frustration, he started to regret bringing some of the more... curiousindividuals into the Shepherds. Corrin was just the start, it seemed. Felicia broke literally everything, Jakob called everyone a bitch or an asshole, and he desperately needed to restock on tomatoes for the mess hall because some unknown individual would sneak off eating them! Disgusting creature...

Anyway, Robin was just about done for the day so he, like usual, was going to be the last to eat dinner. Walking inside the tent, the subtle aroma of soup perked Robin's tired senses. If that wasn't enough, a familiar head of orange hair certainly helped.

"Sup Bubbles, what can I getcha?" Gaius stood behind the food, which assured Robin that he was about to eat well, at least when it came to rations. Well, he was last anyway. It couldn't matter too much.

"Still out of tomatoes?"

"Mhm."

"Well, I'll see you around, Gaius."

"Gotcha Bubbles."

Robin sat down at the closest table, savoring the vegetable soup and rice with utmost exhaustion. Before he knew it, his plate was empty, the moon was out, and his stomach was full, so he made his way back to his tent.

"C'mon, let's get out of here!"

He pretended he didn't just see a familiar pair of pigtails and another unknown figure dance in the twilight by his tent, giggling and running off, so he walked back to his tent cautiously, expecting a prank.

The tent seemed to be fine, aside from a giant string dangling above his rug. The dirt floor seemed to be a little unsettled but that was probably just because of the two girls running around in his tent scrambling to get him.

"Amateurs," Robin scoffed, stepping over the obvious tripwire that was connected to a bucket of what looked like water.

"Aha- oh gods damn it all..."

Success turned into defeat as the carpet Robin had just stepped over turned out to cover a giant hole in his dirt floor, causing the rug to cave in and leaving Robin to find himself roughly six feet below where he should have been. Judging by the noise of his fall and his defeated sigh, he could guess the laughing outside and the high-five slap belonged to Lissa and her friend.

"It could be worse," Robin decided. He was simply too tired to care, and tried to fall asleep in the hole rather than pull himself up. "Lissa! Can you grab my pillow from my bed and toss it down here?"

"Sure thing Robin! Oops! Watch out for that," Lissa gestured behind her pointing at the tripwire. Robin felt a pillow hit his face and he gladly went to bed half upright.

At least, before a yelp and a dropping sound was heard, accompanied by a splash and a groan.

"Nice," he called above."

"Whatever, loser." He heard a raspberry and a 'C'mon!' as the two pranksters left.

A couple minutes later, Robin heard the tent door open and he stirred awake, only to remember that he was still subterranean.

"Robin, are you in here?"

"I'm digging for treasure," Robin greeted sarcastically to his guest, still unknown. "How may I help you?"

"It's me, Corrin."

The guilt in her voice said it all.

"Ah, so you were Lissa's accomplice. Congratulations on picking the right friends today," Robin greeted less than tastefully. First off, she blows up Gregor's tent, and now she sticks him in the ground?

"I was wondering how she dug a hole this big in 15 minutes."

He heard the Princess laugh nervously as she twiddled her thumbs, looking for a rope.

"There's one in the cabinet, next to my bed."

"Right." A few seconds later, the rope hit his head accompanied by a thwack as Robin groaned softly, too deft to be heard. He went back to sleep.

"Aren't you going to get out now?" Corrin asked.

"I'd rather not. I'm too tired. Maybe tomorrow."

"I'll see to it your tent and Gregor's are all neat by tomorrow morning," Corrin offered in apology.

"Don't bother. I'll do it."

"But, I'm the one who did it!"

Robin coughed with exhaustion before sinking even deeper into his pit.

"Yes, I'm well aware of that. You also ruined one of my tents today and I had to adapt the system for housing. If you want to pay me back, then just... Be more strategic with your deeds."

"I'll prank Lissa right away."

"I knew making you Commander was a wise decision."