Peasant
"Sam, I really don't think we should be doing this," Freddie said as him and Sam stood outside the movie theatre.
"Why not?" Sam frowned.
"Because it's illegal!" Freddie hissed. He looked visibly nervous, all sweaty and anxious and constantly looking over his shoulder.
"Relax," Sam said. She, unlike Freddie, appeared calm and collect. "Hey, is that a new yogurt place? We should go there after the movie."
"I can't believe we're going to do this," Freddie mumbled.
"Hey, you agreed to it," Sam reminded him.
"You can't make me agree to things while we're in the middle of making out!" he exclaimed. "That's totally unfair! I mean last time you did that and got me to go with you to that rodeo, I wound up nearly getting gorded by a bull!"
"Come on, you don't want to see The Attack of the Mummy Ninjas?" Sam asked. "They're supposed to invade this tiny little village and use a bunch of the peasants there as bait to get their enemies, the vampire policemen."
"But we're not allowed into that movie," Freddie pointed out.
"Look," Sam sighed, rolling her eyes. "We're seventeen. We should be able to see any rated R movie we want, no problem. But because your crazy mom and her insane Aggressive Parenting freaks protested outside this theatre for weeks to get the owner to change the age to see R movies to eighteen, we now have use fake ID's."
"Okay, how about this?" Freddie tried to reason. "We drive to the movie theatre across town? I don't mind driving the extra half hour. That way we can see the movie legally."
"No way!" Sam frowned. "That theatre doesn't have the nachos I like."
"I'll go to the snack bar here before we leave and buy you an order to bring with us!" Freddie pleaded.
"Nah," Sam said, shaking her head. "The seats here are way comfier. Now let's go get in line before all the tickets sell out."
"What if colleges find out about this?" Freddie asked as he followed Sam inside the theatre. "I won't be able to get into MIT or Cal Tech or any of those other universities, and you won't be able to get in where you want either!"
"Dude, if we get caught, which we won't," Sam said. "Any college I apply to won't even notice this with all my other stuff. Now here, this is your ID."
"This looks nothing like me!" Freddie exclaimed. "And why is my name Wilbur Bighead?"
"Your head's kind of big, baby," Sam shrugged. "Here's my ID."
"You're blonde, Sam," Freddie said, looking at the picture of what was supposed to be his girlfriend. "This lady has darker hair than Carly!"
"No one looks at the pictures, just the birth date," Sam told him. "So just don't screw up and in a few minutes we'll be watching the greatest movie of all time."
"Wouldn't you rather see that new romantic comedy that's out?" Freddie asked, using one last attempt to get out of this. "I hear it's pretty good."
"You know how bored I get in romantic comedies," Sam told him. "I either wind up falling asleep or swapping spit with you the whole movie."
"Is that a bad thing?"
"Well, no," Sam grinned. "But that's not the point. The point is I'm not sitting through a romantic comedy when there's vampires and mummy ninjas battling it out in the next theatre! Now can we please just get out tickets?"
"Fine," Freddie conceded. Him and Sam walked over towards the ticket line. While they waited, Freddie tried to act natural, but his heart was racing and he felt his hands shaking.
"Next!" called the movie usher working the counter.
"Er, hi," Freddie said as him and Sam stepped up to the counter. "Two-two tickets to The Attack of the Mummy Ninjas."
"I need to see some ID," the usher said lazily. "And some from your girlfriend there too."
"Um, yeah, yeah," Freddie said, trying to keep it together. "I do have it. I am eighteen."
"Smooth, Fredbag," Sam whispered as she handed the usher her own ID.
"Here it is!" Freddie said, handing over his ID.
The movie usher looked at the cards.
"I-I know I don't really look like the picture on that ID, but I swear it's me! I, er, just died my hair. And a nose job. And shaved my beard. And-"
"Here you go," the usher said, rolling his eyes, handing Freddie the two movie tickets. "That'll be fifteen dollars."
"Oh, um, okay," Freddie nodded, quickly pulling out his wallet.
"You wouldn't survive five minutes in juvie," Sam sighed as her and Freddie walked away from the ticket counter.
"I think that guy was onto us," Freddie said anxiously, putting away his fake ID. "He probably called someone to come and get us."
"He didn't care, Freddie," Sam said. "You know how many people use fake ID's to get into movies?"
"I'm a criminal," Freddie said softly. "Oh my God, I've broken the law!"
"I'm about to break your face if you don't cool it," Sam said warningly.
After Freddie bought Sam an armful of snacks, they took their seats in the theatre.
"Oh man, we're the youngest people in here," Freddie muttered, looking around. "We stick out like sore thumbs. We're so going to get busted."
"No we won't," Sam said, shaking her head as she stuffed a handful of popcorn into her mouth.
Freddie continued to voice his concerns until the previews finally came on, much to Sam's relief.
When at last the movie ended and the mummy ninjas had successfully beaten the vampire policemen, Sam and Freddie filed out of the theatre.
"You see, we didn't get caught," Sam said, taking her boyfriend's hand. "You were all paranoid for nothing."
"Maybe you were right," Freddie smiled. "Besides, that movie was pretty good."
"Excuse me," came a voice from behind the couple. They turned around to see a tall man wearing an usher uniform. "Can I ask you two something?"
"He knows!" Freddie whispered urgently to Sam. "We've got to get out of here!"
Freddie quickly ran off towards the exit, leaving Sam, rolling her eyes behind him.
"I was just going to ask if you two were the kids from iCarly," the usher frowned. "I love that show. So does my niece."
"Yeah, that's us," Sam nodded.
"Wow, do you think I could get an autograph?" the usher asked excitedly.
"Um, sure," Sam agreed.
She quickly signed her name on a napkin for the usher and then went outside where Freddie was pacing nervously. "Sam!" he cried, running over to her. "What happened? I thought you were right behind me! You're usually so fast when you're running from authority. Did he call the cops? Did he ban you from the theatre? Oh man, I feel awful, I left you all by yourself, but I told you we were going to get caught! And-"
"He wanted an autograph, you doof," Sam cut him off. "He watches iCarly!"
"Oh," Freddie said lamely.
"Honestly," Sam said as the couple headed back to Freddie's car. "You'd think you'd never broken a rule before."
"I already told you, I haven't!"
"Wait, you were serious about that?" Sam frowned.
"Yeah," he nodded.
"You mean even when you were like a little kid, you never, oh, I don't know, stayed up past your bedtime or snuck desert before dinner?"
"You've met my mom," Freddie chuckled. "She never let me out of her sight for more than thirty seconds, and even then she had a little microphone clipped to my clothes so she knew what I was up to at all times."
"Wow," Sam said, laughing. "Well then you know what? I'm honored that I was here when Fredward Benson broke his first rule. Even if you did wind up running away screaming like a little girl in the end."
"Aw," Freddie grinned. "And I couldn't think of anyone else I would want to have by my side during the experience."
Sam smiled and leaned up to kiss him.
"Hey, I have an idea," Freddie said, raising an eyebrow mischievously. "Why don't we go get some fries at the Groovy Smoothie and I won't cut them into tiny pieces like my mom tells me to."
"Jeesh, now you're just living on the edge," Sam laughed.
