Printer
"I think you really jammed it, Sam," Freddie sighed, looking at printer that was hooked up to her computer. "I don't think it can be fixed."
"Pfft, what do you know," Sam scoffed. "It's probably fine."
"Sam, you tried to print notebook paper you ripped out of a spiral," Freddie said, shaking his head at his wife. "The ridges got stuck somewhere and I think they really messed this printer up. Yet another electronic that we now have to throw away because of you."
"When have I ever caused us to throw away an electronic?" Sam asked, crossing her arms.
"I've gone through thirteen pearphones this past year just because of your shenanigans!"
"Yeah well...you scratched my car!" Sam retorted.
"I didn't scratch your car!" Freddie argued. "Someone parked next to me did while I just happened to be using it!"
"Fine, but you're the one who broke the shower head jumping at a tiny little spider."
"It was a huge spider, probably a tarantula!" Freddie snapped. "And you're the one who broke the waffle iron last week with your little experiment!"
"Well you're...a nub," Sam finished.
"Really? That's your argument?" Freddie grinned, amused.
"That's all the argument I need," Sam said. "Look, can you just try and fix the printer, baby? I really need to print that document from my laptop."
"Yeah, okay, I'll work on it," Freddie nodded.
"Thanks," Sam said. "I need to drop Tyler off at his friend's house for his play date. You okay watching the other kids? Jason's busy playing the Game Sphere and I think the twins are coloring in the living room."
"Yeah, they're fine," Freddie said, giving his wife a quick kiss as he opened up the printer. "If we're still having pizza for dinner tonight, I found a coupon in the paper this morning, it's on the counter."
"Got it, Fredlumps," Sam said. "Have fun fixing mama's computer."
...
"Alright, I finally got that printer fixed," Freddie said later that night. "And I printed your stuff."
"Thank you, baby," Sam smiled as Freddie sat down next to her on the couch.
"Think we can think of some...other way to thank me?" Freddie grinned, putting his arm around her.
"Later," Sam chuckled softly. "I think Jason might still be up. He claims he's too old for a bedtime now that he's eleven, but he still usually passes out around ten thirty."
"Well, guess we'll wait then," Freddie sighed, taking the remote and turning on the T.V. "Oh look! That documentary on coral fish is on!"
"Get real," Sam said, grabbing the remote from Freddie's hand. "Metal Chef is on!"
"It's probably a rerun, though!" Freddie pointed out, making the grab the remote back, but Sam pushed him away.
"So what? It's still better than watching some lame thing about fish that no one's even going to eat!"
"Give it back, Sam!" Freddie said, still trying to get the remote out of her hands.
"No, now shut up and let me watch my show, you loser!"
"Yeah, well you're a-a-"
Suddenly, the two heard the sound of someone sniffling behind them. They both turned around and saw their seven-year old daughter, Ashton, standing at the foot of the stairs, crying.
"Ashton, what's wrong?" Sam asked, turning off the T.V.
"You have a nightmare?" Freddie asked.
"No," Ashton sniffed. "You-You guys are gonna get a-a divorce, aren't you?"
"What?" Sam frowned, looking at Freddie, who was just as shocked as she was. "Who told you that Ashton?"
"Yeah, come here, sweetheart," Freddie said moving over so that his daughter could sit between him and Sam.
"M-Meg Williams from school," Ashton said shakily, sitting down next to her parents. "She told me that-that her parents were fighting all the time, and then they got a divorce, and they didn't live together anymore, and now she only gets to see one of her parents at a time and I don't want that to happen! I don't want you guys to get a divorce!"
"Ash, calm down, honey," Sam said, pulling her daughter, who was now crying so hard she was shaking, onto her lap. "Mommy and daddy aren't going to get a divorce."
"Yeah," Freddie nodded, stroking Ashton's hair. "We love each other very much."
"But-But you guys always fight," Ashton said weakly, hiccuping. "You guys were just yelling at each other about the the T.V., and I heard you earlier yelling because daddy was trying to fix the printer."
"Oh..." Sam said softly, glancing at Freddie.
"Listen, sweetie," Freddie said. "You-You have to understand...mommy and daddy don't really fight."
"But you guys yell at each other," Ashton pointed out.
"Well, yeah," Sam nodded. "But we're not yelling at each other...See, sometimes your dad and I just have...disagreements. You disagree with Emma all the time, don't you?"
Ashton nodded slowly.
"Right," Freddie said. "But you still love your sister, don't you?"
"Yes," Ashton said.
"Well it's the same with mommy and daddy," Sam explained. "We get mad at each other over really silly things but that doesn't mean we stop loving each other."
"So-So you're not going to ever get a divorce?" Ashton asked, wiping her eyes.
"No, baby," Freddie told her. "Never."
"Good," Ashton sniffed.
"Come on, Ash," Freddie said, picking her up in his arms. "I'll go tuck you back in. Say good night to mommy."
"Night, mommy," Ashton yawned. "I'm glad you love daddy."
Sam smiled. "Night, Ashton."
She watched as Freddie disappeared upstairs with her daughter and let out a sigh.
...
"Is she asleep?" Sam asked ten minutes later when Freddie came back downstairs.
"Yeah," Freddie sighed, sitting back down next to her. "So...you feel as awful as I do?"
"Yup," Sam said heavily. "We're terrible parents, Freddie! Our seven-year old was bawling her eyes out because she thought we were getting divorce!"
"I know," Freddie nodded. "Maybe...maybe we should try and stop fighting so much?"
"You know we can't do that, Carly's been trying to make that happen for years," Sam pointed out. "But she understands that it's not real fighting. How are our kids supposed to know the difference? Sure, Jason's probably old enough, and we just explained it to Ashton, but I'm not even sure she understood fully. She was just so relieved when we told her we weren't getting a divorce! What if she hears us arguing again and starts all over again? And what if Emma gets that same idea? Or Tyler?"
"Sam, shh," Freddie soothed his wife. "Look, I know you and I are probably never going to be able to stop arguing with each other. I mean, it's me and you. Sam and Freddie!"
"But-"
"The important thing is that we really do love each other," Freddie continued. "And know that we're not getting divorced."
"But-"
"I think our kids realize that too, I mean, they all say we're gross when we kiss in front of them," Freddie told her. "I think Ashton probably just got freaked out by what that girl at school told her."
"You think?" Sam asked.
"Yeah, I do," Freddie nodded. "But-But maybe we should try to at least try and not fight as much in front of the kids anymore."
Sam nodded. "Yeah, you're right."
"Why don't we head up to bed?" Freddie suggested. "I checked Jason's room on my way out of the girl's room and he's fast asleep..."
"Okay," Sam smiled, getting to her feet. "And you know what?"
"What?'
"I love you."
"Love you too," Freddie chuckled.
