We enter the moment the sky falls.
A beacon of light shines on those who need her.
The sand chills my fingertips as I squish it in my palm. It sifts through my hand and clumps back together on the beach. The waves break before me and the salt smell grows. I close my eyes to listen to the water. What did they have to say to me? Can they teach me how to remain calm through everything?
The way he looked at me...my memory keeps that look of Sora visible. It felt alien. I did something wrong. I ruined my connection with him by trying to make it stronger than before. Stronger than even him and Kairi. I aggressively wipe my sandy hand on my pant and tuck my legs in. I haven't felt this conflicted since I felt left Destiny Islands. I bury my head into my arms.
"Huh, I didn't expect you to be here."
Aqua… I smile. "Hmph, I could say the same about you."
Her footsteps were faint before, but I hear their crunch in the sand. She sits next to me and her warmth extends to me. It relieves my heart, even just for a moment. Slowly, I lean into her until my head rests against her shoulder. She makes a sound of surprise, but I feel her arm wrap around me in comfort. I open my eyes to the ocean. Aqua's boots touch my feet as I feel her rub my uninjured arm.
"How are you feeling?" she asks.
I look up to her. Her hair is moving with the sea breeze so elegantly. "I think I ruined all my friendships."
"What do you mean? I don't remember you doing anything to make me think that." She squeezes me in a half hug. "Unless I'm not your friend."
I chuckle. "Of course you are. Sorry, I meant with the people who are the most important in my heart."
Aqua's expression is welcoming. Her bright blue eyes shine on me as if they need to know more. Ever since our bout in the Realm of Darkness, we mutually relied on each other to survive. She would know more than anyone on how to proceed. She and Mickey alone-
I jolt up from her hold. "Mickey!"
"He's okay," Aqua says.
"What? I couldn't sense his light during battle. Where did he go, Aqua? I need to see him, too."
Aqua laughs quietly and rests her palms in the sand. "He's off-world. Donald and Goofy are recovering at their castle. Her Highness is treating them."
My head hangs. "I can't believe I didn't think about him until now."
"You're conflicted," she says, shuffling in the sand. Her calloused hands take mine and I'm forced to look at her soft face. "Your expression says some, but your heart...it's erratic, Riku."
"It is," I admit. "Lots on my mind."
In a rush, Aqua brings her arms around me, enveloping me in such a warmth, I haven't the faintest idea of what to do. Her hug tightens but not to a harsh degree. She isn't even asking what's going on but this is saying enough. She loves me, too. We vowed in that darkness to survive and we made it. We were a force together and nothing the other did would change our decision. Slowly, I return her hug.
"I'm sorry you feel this way," Aqua says. "I won't pester, but know that if you ever do want to tell me, I will be here for you, Riku. Terra and Ven mean the world to me, like Kairi and Sora to you. They are your light. Those who are connected to you won't sever their ties over one thing."
"Are you saying that cause you believe it, or just because it hasn't happened to you yet?" I joke.
She rescinds so that her hands grab my shoulders, though she's careful about my bad arm. "What in the world could you have done to make them think so differently of you?"
"I told Sora I loved him."
There's a beat. I thought this would change her feelings in some way, but her smile turned into a grin. "Riku, how in all the worlds would that change what he and Kairi mean to you?"
"Kairi is what's most important to Sora. I was selfish and said what my heart had been telling me since our Mark of Mastery exam. I felt so much weight lift...it was cruel to do that to him. Putting him in the middle of Kairi and me. Unnecessarily splitting us apart."
Aqua looks down at the sand. "Oooh. I can see why you would feel something like this. Well, it if helps, it's good that there is some guilt."
"There is?"
Aqua puts her hands over her heart. "It shows you care about this, Riku. You aren't throwing out a statement and running from it."
I grimace. "But I am. I haven't talked to Sora since I said what I needed to. We've been watching over Kairi at the hospital on the main island." I feel my eyes starting to hurt. Tears want to come, but I won't allow it. I have to be strong about this.
Aqua stands, holds her hand out to me. "That's the problem. You need to see Sora. Whether it's good, bad, or nothing's changed at all, you need to confront what you said."
"Will that clear up why my heart hurts like this?"
"Have you never told anybody how you felt?" Aqua giggles. "Even just a crush in school?"
"No."
"Oh my god, Riku," she grabs my hand and hoists me to my feet. "This is what loves feels like. Once the hurt subsides, it can be the most beautiful thing in the universe."
"Is that how you feel about Terra?" I smile. Her face blushes bright red.
"Shut up!" She shoves me away hard. I laugh and grab her arms so she falls in the sand with me. We lay beside each other. Our hands interlace.
I watch the clouds drift. Two look like thalassa shells, another a simple swirl of purple-pink. The sun has started setting. Finally, my heart feels like it has calmed its own nerves. Aqua was right; if I didn't at least see through the things I said to Sora, I would never feel better. "Thank you, Aqua. For not judging me and helping me get a hold on my heart."
"From one Master to another," she says, squeezing my hand. "Heh, but that's what friends are for."
"Right," I nod.
"You should go find him. Get it taken care off before you let that stress settle in again." Aqua sits up and smiles at me.
Her light is just so powerful. At times, it used to be unnerving, but she's grown as much as I have in our final hours. She rises to a squat and plants a kiss on my forehead. Unexpected, but I let her do it. "Go get him, Riku!"
I'm slow to stand myself. "Will you still be around afterward?"
"Don't know. I may check on Mickey myself." She touches her chest. "But your heart will always reach me if you need me."
"May our hearts be our guiding key." I turn from her and start to leave.
"Oh yeah!" she calls back. "I came to tell you that there's a certain Princess who's awake now."
My face lights up. I nod again and exit the beach. The moment I'm out of range of Aqua's light, the uneasiness of my heart returns. But like Ansem, I can handle it and keep it at bay. I know what to do now, and the very second everything is over, I'll make my choice.
But for now, there's a friend I need to see.
Kairi's room was two rooms away when something felt...off.
From afar, I watch as Selphie leaves the room with a notebook cradled in her arm. She comes my way and stops herself briefly. I keep moving on my own mission, and I feel her gaze on me.
"Riku, hey-" she starts, but I pass her.
"Is Kairi awake, Selphie?"
"Yeah-"
"Thank you." I don't mean to sound blunt to her, but I have my own pressing matters. I approach her room and gazing through the window however briefly. Kairi's flower count has grown exponentially.
She sits solemnly, hands tapping a food tray on her knees. I know her eyes rest on her new foot. My heart sinks for her and that's when I have to open the door to see the rest of her room. I expect Sora to be sitting on the window sill to the outside, but I don't see him. Maybe taking a quick bathroom break or something.
"Riku."
Her voice is weak, eyes heavy, but her aura is as radiant as ever. The paopu pinwheel slows from a recent spin. She beckons me over and I sit at her right side. She takes my hand and squeezes it harder than I expected from how quiet she sounded.
"How are you, Kairi?"
"I'm...okay. I'm really glad Selphie stopped by."
I place her food tray on the table beside her. "I'm happy to see you eating, too. Your recovery is going well then?"
"Yeah, Lea is too. Told me to eat the pudding first. I feel good though, despite the whole...foot thing."
I chuckle. "Sorry, I'm late to the party."
Kairi smiles wide. "It's okay. I like your pinwheel, too, by the way."
"You got a lot of flowers. Which one of these bunches is Sora's?"
"Haven't seen it yet. Can't exactly leave my bed to check." She tilts her head. "Speaking of Sora, have you seen him? I thought he'd be here when I woke up."
What? He was here already. Didn't he just get up to grab more for her or something? "He's been with you through your recovery. He wasn't here when you woke up?"
"I have no idea where he is."
Stars fall all over. I can't manage them if one star is missing.
