AN- Again, trying to keep everything at least PG-13 here, so this one, again, I just tweaked so that Sam and Freddie are just making out in this. Everything else from the request is the same, though.

Portability

"Dude, it's a purse," Sam said.

"No, it's not!" Spencer defended, clutching his purse-like bag tightly. "It's a man bag!"

"Looks pretty pursey to me," Carly smiled.

"It's not a purse!" Spencer exclaimed.

"Spence, just get rid of it," Freddie said, rolling his eyes. "You look ridiculous with it. Well, more ridiculous."

"But it's so practical!" Spencer said. "I can put my wallet in it, plus my phone, some snacks, my glue gun, extra socks, some chile powder...I mean, why should only girls be limited to this type of portability?"

"Fine, keep your man purse," Carly said, shaking her head in amusement. "I just hope I don't confuse it with any of my purses."

"It's not a-!"

"Yeah, yeah, we get it," Sam cut him off. "Aren't you supposed to be picking us up a pizza? I'm starving."

"Oh, right," Spencer said. "And if I get hungry on the way home...look what I have in my man bag! Parmesan cheese and red pepper flakes!"

"It's really concerning that he's in charge of me sometimes," Carly sighed as her older brother headed out the door. "Okay, well, I've got to go too. I promised Gibby I'd meet him at the library to work on our Spanish project."

"I thought Gibby was afraid of libraries?" Freddie pointed out.

"His therapist has been working with him," Carly explained, grabbing her jacket. "So as long as no mailmen show up there, we're good. Sam, have you started your project with Wendy?"

Sam gave a laugh in response.

"Yeah...I should've figured," Carly said. "Well, see you guys later. And try to keep your lips to yourself for at least a few minutes, will you? I was reading this one article online, and apparently, if you kiss too much, your lips start to get all chapped and gross."

"Eh, if I can stand dating Fredlumps with the face he has know, I doubt chapped lips will bother me," Sam shrugged.

"Um, thanks, I guess?" Freddie frowned.

"Fine, if you want to be all dry lipped, go ahead, make out," Carly said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Gibby to go and deal with."

The second the door closed behind Carly, Sam and Freddie's lips were pressed against each other passionately.

"I can't believe we lasted five months without doing this," Freddie said breathlessly, wrapping his arms around Sam's waist.

"What a waste of five months, huh?" Sam grinned, continuing to kiss her boyfriend.

"Definitely," Freddie agreed.

The two continued to make out, their kisses deepening as the moments passed. They were both so engrossed in their activity, though, that they didn't hear the apartment door opening.

"Hey, who's hungry?" Spencer said, turning on the lights that Sam and Freddie had dimmed. "It's pepperoni and-Ah! What-You-Ah!"

Sam and Freddie broke apart and turned towards Spencer who, in the shock, had dropped the pizza on the ground, although he didn't seem to notice this.

"Um, h-hey there, Spence," Sam said, her cheeks blushing red.

"Yeah, hey," Freddie said sheepishly. "Y-You know, now that I think of it, that man bag actually looks pretty good on-"

"Shut it!" Spencer said loudly. "I-I don't understand. You two were broken up! Broken up couples don't do...what I just saw!"

"I thought Carly would've told you we got back together a few weeks ago," Sam told him. "We thought you knew!"

"Carly said no such thing!"

"Oh...well then," Freddie said awkwardly. "How about some pizza then? I mean, sure it has floor on it, but hey, I won't complain."

"Huh? Oh," Spencer said, looking down and just realizing that the pizza had fallen. "Um, Sam...if you could, you know, untangle yourself from Mr. Benson, could you run back across the street and pick up another pizza with no floor on it?"

"It doesn't have too much floor on it," Sam said. "It barely came out of the box and-"

"Go get more pizza or I'm discontinuing my subscription to the pie of the week club!"

"Fine...no need to threaten me with pie," Sam mumbled.

"Um, look, Spence," Freddie said as Sam left the apartment. "I get that was sort of...awkward. We'll try not to let it happen again-"

"What are you doing?" Spencer asked, crossing his arms.

"What do you mean?" Freddie frowned.

"I mean, what are you doing," Spencer repeated. "With Sam."

"Um...dating her?"

"Yeah, I figured that out from the disgusting smooching," Spencer said. "But I mean...you're not going to do what you did last time, are you?"

"What did I do last time?"

"Hmm, let me think about that," Spencer said. "You broke up with her!"

"But it was mutual!" Freddie said. "She broke up with me just as much as I broke up with her!"

"Well, you're not the one who cried on my couch for the first few days after it happened," Spencer said. "So in my book, you dumped her."

"She-She cried?" Freddie frowned. "But she's Sam!"

"Yeah, well, you apparently got to her enough to make her do it," Spencer said. "It was a few days after I think, and her mom was at some seminar on waxing in Portland, so she was sleeping over here. I mean, obviously she acted like she didn't care, but I woke up one night at around three because I had another giant cereal bowl dream, and she was sitting out here sort of crying to herself while she watched the Gator Channel."

"I-I didn't know," Freddie said softly.

"I know," Spencer said. "Which is why you'd better not be getting back together again just because your lips have been itching! Because if I find out you made her upset like that again, I'm going to...well, I can't beat you up on my own, but I'll hire Socko's cousin Armen to do it for me!"

"Spencer!"

"Okay, so I wouldn't actually hire some guy to beat you up," Spencer admitted. "But I would be very, very mad at you! So if you only got back together with Sam so you'd have something to do with all your teenage hormones running through your body, then you'd better just end things right now before they get serious again!"

"Spencer, I as stupid enough to let Sam go once," Freddie told him. "Do you really think I would do it twice?"

"You mean that?" Spencer asked.

"I do."

"Well...good then," Spencer said. "Now that's out of the way...Dude! I can't believe you two are back together again! That's so adorable; I've got to tell Donna from my book club, she'll be so happy! But, um...if you can just make sure I never see you two...you know, again, that'd be great."