Chapter seven: The look of a carefree child
"Look at them," Lena said from the kitchen window, staring out at the back yard later that day. Stef, who was doing paperwork at the island, put her glasses on the table and then stood up and walked over to Lena, wrapping her arms around her and staring outside.
Frankie and Jude, both in tiaras and tutus, with wands in hand, were chasing Callie, who had a batman mask on her face, around the backyard. Callie was laughing, running from the two younger children.
"She asked if it was okay that Jude was dressed like that here … when Frankie and Jude came downstairs to ask if they could go play in the back yard," Lena told her wife.
"Why'd she ask if it was okay," Stef asked, confused for a few moments.
"Apparently, it was only okay in her past homes if Jude acted like a boy and not a 'fairy,'" Lena said, making air quotes with her fingers.
Stef sagged into her wife. What had those two children been through?
"I want to keep them so badly. I want their damn social worker to do his damn job before I hunt him down," Stef whispered. Lena moved slightly to turn and look at her.
"Stef, they're not puppies. And you know their social worker is probably just busy …" Lena was almost afraid to hope Stef meant what she thought she did — that she really would find out why the social worker had not contacted them yet. All they knew was that their father was in jail and had at least ten more years before he could be let out for good behavior since he had driven drunk, killing their mother and six other people.
"They're our children, Lena, I know that. I can feel it. Part of their fears, especially Callie's, are that they can't be who they are or want or need because they will be moved. And you know, she's right. She is thirteen, but she's definitely not stupid. She's right when she says we have no say after they leave our home. She is right when she says we can't promise her that this will be her last home before a permanent is found. There is no way we can promise that, Lena. I want to be able to promise her and Jude that. How long are we supposed to wait on a the damn social worker before I hunt him down?"
"She's been with us for a little more than two months now," Lena said.
"Don't tell me you don't want them. You do. You said they were worth fighting for. We've both said that. They are worth fighting for. That child has given up everything for her little brother. We've told her over and over she is not disposable; that she is not worthless. You're too afraid to hope for it because the damn social worker won't get back with us!"
"I want them, too, Stef. So much. I want them so much," Lena said, a tear sliding out of the corner of her eye and down her cheek. Stef wiped the tear off of her wife's face with her hand.
They watched as outside the three youngest inhabitants of their home ran from one side of the yard to the other. It was the happiest they had seen Callie since she'd moved in with them, Batman mask and all.
"She looks so young. So much younger than thirteen," Lena whispered, "That reminds me … this morning when she was sitting on my lap I noticed the rats nest she is calling hair. One of us has to help her brush through it tonight. If we leave it go much longer we are going to have to cut it, and I don't have to be a mindreader to know that would not go over well."
Stef nodded. She'd noticed it earlier as well. She wanted to kick herself for not noticing Callie wasn't brushing her hair out. Looking back out into the back yard it was easy to see why she wouldn't — out there, playing with Jude and Frankie, she did indeed look like a much younger child.
Bathtime was no longer as easy as it had once been now that there were two extra children. Mariana and Jesus showered in the morning and no longer needed to be reminded to do so unless one of them was sick — especially Mariana, who would lay in bed and refuse to move when ill.
Frankie, at five, still needed help every night, especially when it was time to wash her hair, which Lena usually took on since it matched her own. Luckily for them both, Frankie's hair only had to be washed once a week.
Jude, at seven, also needed help, though they were slowly working with him to get it where he no longer needed as much help. Being in inattentive foster homes often had set him back in many areas, personal hygiene being one of them.
Lena and Stef alternated the two youngest children each night so as to give them one on one attention away from the distractions of the rest of the house.
Then there was Callie. They'd left her alone with her routine until now, after realizing she had not been combing out her her long, curly hair. It was naturally so curly that neither woman had realized she wasn't even brushing it. She definitely wasn't washing it every other day like she was told to do, but they had let that slide.
They just couldn't do that now. Not with the tangled mess Callie's hair had become. Both women were angry with themselves for not noticing it sooner.
"Do you want to take this one, or would you rather I do it," Stef asked Lena. It wasn't like it was the first time they had been in this situation. Mariana had come to them with a mess of tangled hair that had taken hours to get through. But Mariana had only been four, nearly five. Callie was thirteen and was particular about many things.
Lena looked at Stef with a smirk.
"Oh, you want to take this one? After giving up on Mariana's hair after working on it for less than ten minutes when she first came to live with us?"
Stef blushed. Patience was not always her thing when it involved her having to sit and do the same thing constantly. It was why she had become a cop. She was able to do something different every day.
"Well, you know, Love, you are used to doing your own hair — and it DOES take quite some time for you to do it. So, I bet you'd know exactly what to do," Stef tried to hint slyly. Lena laughed so hard she started to snort into her hand.
"What's so funny, Love," Stef asked genuinely. She honestly had no idea why Lena was laughing at her.
"You really think I didn't know I was going to be the one to help Cals with her hair? Honestly, Stef. Its like you don't even know yourself," Lena said laughing, "I can't believe you even asked if I wanted you to help her."
Stef looked at her for a few moments and then sighed. Of course Lena was right. She had thought she'd be helpful and try — but she and Callie would more than likely butt heads quickly. It was the kind of thing she wasn't good at, but Lena was.
"It's okay, Love, your heart is always in the right place," Lena said, then leaned over and kissed her blushing wife.
Callie stared at Lena for several moments without saying a word. She'd been called into Stef and Lena's bedroom after they ate dinner. She didn't think she'd done anything else to get in trouble, though she was silently glad to be called out of the room she shared with Mariana because the older teen was doing her homework and was mad the moms wouldn't let her go to a party since she'd gone out the night before and had slept until past noon, so her homework was not even started until nearly two. Jude had banished her from his room because he and Frankie were playing something with princesses and dragons. Jesus had asked her if she wanted to play video games with him, but she was grounded so had to decline. So, honestly, she was bored to tears.
"You wanna what?"
"Cals, when is the last time you brushed out your hair," Lena asked her, leaning against her side of the bed, ignoring Callie's question.
Callie reached up to her hair and tried to run her fingers through it. She couldn't. She knew it had been a very long time since her hair had been really brushed out. It took too much time, so she always just put it in a bun on top of her head. Otherwise it was huge and stuck out everywhere. It wasn't like she had ever been shown what to do with it. She hadn't had a haircut in a while, and hadn't had a professional haircut since before her mom died.
"I don't know … it's been a while I guess."
"Wouldn't you rather it not be in a huge knot, Love? I can help you brush it out and then you will have a much easier time with your hair. And, Stef and I will help you whenever you need it," Lena explained.
"I don't want help. It will hurt," Callie said, remembering one of her past foster mom's who had gotten so angry with Callie about her hair she'd smacked her on the side of the head with the brush and then tried to rip through the tangles.
"It won't hurt, Love. I promise. I would never intentionally hurt you. And this won't hurt. I understand the frustration of having hair that is hard to comb through. I have some detangler we will put in your hair so I can brush though it, then you can lay over the side of the tub and I will shampoo and condition your hair for you, put in some more detangler, and then we will let it dry before you go to bed. Once it dries, Stef or I can braid it for you so it doesn't tangle that badly again. How does that sound," Lena asked.
Callie sighed and looked down. Tears starting to form in her eyes. She looked so small, young, and vulnerable to Lena in that moment.
"Oh, Love, come here," Lena said, her arms open.
Callie took a few steps to Lena and then stopped and looked up at her, "If it starts to hurt, can we stop?"
Lena smiled, but it did not reach her eyes. It was a sad smile. Because she knew how much this was hurting Callie. How much Callie already felt like she was giving up.
"Yes. How about we put on some cartoons and we will take our time."
Callie sniffed, "I'm grounded."
Lena nodded, "You are. I am glad that you are conscious of that. However, Stef and I talked about it and this is going to take a while. It is not something we can do and you read a book. So, just this once, we will watch cartoons in here. If you understand why we are letting you," Lena explained.
Callie nodded. She got it.
"I get to watch cartoons for now because you know it's going to take a really long time. But I gotta be good while you're doing it or the cartoons go off. But, you will stop if it hurts," Callie said quietly.
"Good girl. You are very right. You ready, Cals?"
"Yea. Better than listening to Mariana complain about having to stay home and do her homework," Callie said, climbing up on Stef and Lena's bed to await what she was sure would be torture.
But it still had to be better than listening to Mariana.
