Disclaimer: This is a parody inspired by the works of various fictional works. All characters that I have not created or borrowed from other sources are theirs. This is a Fan fiction and not meant to violate the rights of those who own the rights to the various Universes. I have no money and therefore not a good suing target. Thank you very much.
Another Man's Trash
Part One
I was just doing the dishes one minute and then I was in the office. An office made of stars with a glowing pulsing orb of light... at a desk. I stood staring at it for a moment, before it spoke, "You are wondering why you are here?"
"Having read a lot of fan fiction, this is a self-insert. A Random Omnipotent Being wants to give me something, likely a power ring, for some reason. The question is why?" I asked curious on what was happening.
"Close, but not exactly. I am a Bureaucratic Omnipotent Being. I sent people to do jobs which the multiverse needs to be done. Power Rings are a common tool for this... but currently we are out of Emotional Spectrum. Even those of the Teal Light of Joy, the Pink Light of Happiness, and the Bluebird Light of Glee." spoke the floating orb, which I now knew had cosmic powers.
But I had to ask, "Isn't Joy, Happiness and Glee the same thing?"
"Not exactly. Joy is perky, Happiness is connected to laughter and gives the giggles, while Glee can cause spontaneous singing and dancing. Assuming those colours connect to those emotions. Only the Rainbow Seven plus Black and White are defined stable. Depending on the universe Teal could be Joy, Frustration, Sadness or even Schadenfreude."
"So no power rings? Those things are cool and useful. I would love to use one."
"No Emotional Spectrum ones. Only some of the weirder ones. Like the Vice Spectrum."
"Vice Spectrum?"
"The Red Light of Wrath, The Orange Light of Gluttony, Yellow of Greed, Green of Pride, Blue of Sloth, Indigo of Envy, and Violet of Lust.
There are connects to the Emotional Spectrum, but some you have to look for. I would prefer you to gain a tool which was not vice powered. It has to be a tool and not overkill, adaptable with many options, and extremely useful." said being, as I thought of a tool which could be as useful as a power ring. Without overkill, which removed Infinity Gems and Cosmic Cubes.
I had an item which worked, "How about an Omnitrix? But a custom one. The final Omnitrix with an Ultimatrix and maybe Biomatrix options too?"
"Final Omnitrix, Ultimatrix Evolution abilities. Biomatrix abilities are no included. An idealized version of your body will be your base. Aged to fit the environment of the first world you land in. To be paid when you accept and leave for your mission."
"Okay. What is the mission?"
"You are to be a Quantum Sanitation Engineer."
"I'm a Time Janitor? Why would I want to be that?"
"Remember when Philip J. Fry of the show in your world Futurama was assigned his career. He was made a Delivery Boy. He had been a Pizza Delivery Boy and wanted to be a starship captain. So he escape, had adventures and eventually met his super-great nephew Prof. Farnsworth. The Professor gave him a job working on his starship... as a Delivery Boy. The position had change and became more exciting. Same with this position.
You will be looking for People, Places and Things. To make it easier, Nouns. These Nouns arrive in other universes from their originals. Sometime because their universe is destroyed. Others are duplicate when the universe attempts to split of doesn't or doesn't split completely. Others get lost in transit. As well as a hundred other reasons. You are to collect things and protect them. Think of them as bonus pay, like diamond rings in feces you are allowed to keep. People and Places are to be returned or integrated into the new world, the best you can.
Additionally you are to look after natural passages between worlds. To extend the theme, The Sewers between Worlds. You will also face other forces."
"Other forces?"
"Nouns occur naturally, transferring from on world to another. You may get more the one sample of an item, sometimes a variant like the Vice Spectrum rings. However, there are forces which cause Nouns to appear in worlds. Which will mean you will face the force of Evil. And Chaos. And Order. To spot the misuse of Nouns."
"What about Good? And why will the others use... Nouns?" I was not sure I like the final term but it was easier.
"We have others to deal with Good. You are basically a good person and will work with good people, so using you to stopping good would be the best use of time. Also Good tends to only use Nouns when countered with Evil, Chaos and Order. Good also matches your mission goals most of the time anyways.
Evil will seek to rule or destroy, Order to maintain the status quo and stability at all costs, and Chaos will seek to make anything happens. Nouns makes it easier for them. Which will require you to stop them. These are most of your mission parameters, I will contact you through the Omnitrix if anything changes. It will also keep records of Nouns and show you the missions to get to them. As well as maps.
The questions now are... Will you accept the job? Also where you will be posted. There are multiple mega-emergence sites in the Multiverse, many of them you know from fiction. Using your knowledge will be like Quantum Butterflies, small changes with big effects. So be conscious of your actions. Even you, the Omnitrix and the Nouns will alter the story in ways you will know not."
I thought of the job, but realizing as a SI, there was no choice. I don't accept, no story. So, "I accept. So anything else before we select a world to be my new home for a while?"
"One piece of vague advice, as in mentor tropes role: What is Known is Finite, What is Unknown is Infinite. So please view the Emergence Listings."
A screen appeared showing many worlds, most I know most or part of from what I have read or seen or heard. Wishing I had help to choose one, I picked...
Author's Note: I am taking suggestions on what worlds I should make my home in this SI. I may not use it or use it right away, but I would love your constructive opinions and comments. Any world of fiction can be suggested. TV, books, comics, movies, anime/manga, video games, web media and so on are allowed. The more I know it, the better it will be. So I will say what I don't know when you bring it. Like Worm, no knowledge of it for me. Also the more it fits, the easier I can mix it. Fusion worlds are not off the table as well.
Thank you very much for any and all constructive help. And I hope this gets interesting as well as entertaining.
