A/N: This chapter does get a little dark no darker than where we've already been though. This is just a heads up.
Chapter 13
The months passed quickly as Rey trained with Luke Skywalker. Luke didn't have the same desire to preserve her child like wonder that others had taken, he pushed her to the point of exhaustion with every lesson. "Your enemies will never go easy on you just because you're a child" He would tell her. Rey laid on the cot in her cottage staring at the ceiling. Her muscles would send messages of agony to her body if she tried to move. She still thought of Ben, thoughts of him helped her push through the darkest nights and the longest hours, she was working hard for him.
Rey dragged a small blade across the wall of the cottage to mark another day of training complete. Chewie had returned to the resistance not long after she arrived on Ach-to he had only come back on two occasions. Rey wondered if Luke kept him away on purpose. On occasion Rey would take to talking to Luke about Ben and when she would be allowed to leave to go to him but Luke would only tell her that she wasn't ready, after weeks of training Rey was beginning to doubt if she would ever be ready.
There were nights Rey would lay in bed and she swore she could hear Ben screaming, and while Rey tried not to think of Snoke she worried that he was still in her mind torturing her and Ben with their distance. Since the incident with the darkness of the island after Rey arrived Luke skirted the darkness not letting her anywhere near it. She really didn't know what had happened but she knew Luke was afraid of something, maybe even of her.
A storm was brewing off the sea on afternoon so Luke dismissed her to her room to mediate on her own. Rey headed that way but she felt something calling her, whispering her name at the edge of the island. She spared a glance back at Luke's cottage before deciding to investigate. As Rey approached where the voice is coming from she recognized it, it was the voice of her mother. Before she realized what she was doing she had jumped into the cave below the island into the nexus. Rey could feel the darkness surrounding her but she wasn't afraid, the darkness didn't make her feeling like she was drowning like it had when she was a child. Rey felt like she was in control. It took her a few minutes for her eyes to adjust to the different lighting and when it did she saw a wall made of something that looked like both rock and ice.
"come to me Rey" Her mothers voice again calling her from the solid wall in front of her, for a moment Rey swore she could see through it, see someone on the other side. She reached out with a shaky hand and let her fingers graze the cool wall, a vision assaulted her mind.
Rey was standing with her back to the wall of a small hut, she didn't really know where she was nothing looked familiar to her. The space was small there was an old bed in the corner and some cupboards along another wall and that was it. A man appeared in the room his form flickering like a candle and then there was her, Rey's mother appeared beside him holding a tiny baby in her arms. A hooded figure barged into the hut unannounced firing a blaster in the families direction. Rey's mother crouched over the baby in protection while the man shielded the woman with his body the blaster fire stopped, no it didn't just stop it was frozen in midair before it could reach the family.
"Give me your child" The robed man demanded. "You can't keep her from me" Rey couldn't breathe, she knew that voice. She knew that man.
"Luke" She whispered. She felt sick suddenly.
She ripped herself away from the wall collapse onto her back against the floor of the cavern. "no, no, no" She couldn't stop the whispers nor her thoughts from swirling. Her mentor had done this? Destroyed her family, ruined her life, and then pulled her away from any comfort she had found in life since. This was Luke's fault. Rey clenched her fist against the dirt and pushed herself to her feet. She climbed out of the cavern and made her way to Luke's cottage but Luke was stepping out walking towards her.
"Rey?" His voice was shaking, was he afraid of her? 'Good' Rey couldn't help the thoughts of torture and pain that flooded her. The torture she'd been put through as a child, beaten and nearly starved she wanted him to feel it all the pain she had pent up throughout the years was bubbling to the surface from inside her. She could hardly think clearly but a small voice in the back of her mind kept trying to stop her telling her something was wrong.
"I thought I told you to mediate" Luke regained his composure now. He could feel the emotions oozing off Rey in a smog, but he couldn't get back the darkness in her mind to see what was wrong with her.
"What did you do to my father?" Even her voice was coated in a darkness, deeper than normal as she pushed her fury into every word. That was when it struck Luke, she'd gone to the darkness of the island but even that shouldn't have made her like this. No this was something else.
"Rey, you need to calm down before you do something you regret. We will talk just take a few deep breaths" He didn't know how to coach her down from this. He had only seen her upset a couple times but never had he seen resentment like this in her eyes, pure hatred for him.
"Don't tell me to calm down. You killed him!" She was screaming at him now the fury of her force caused the grass below them to ripple away from her as lightning whipped across the sky. Luke spared it a glance and then looked to her horrified.
"Rey if you don't stop" He reached for his light sabre but he didn't have a plan. He didn't plan on making the same mistake with her that he had with Ben, no not again.
"You're foolish old man if you thought I wouldn't find out" her eyes darkened at him. There were three mistakes made here. The first, he remembered the moment she was talking about. The second, Rey would never call him a foolish old man. The third, the darkness inside her let his force signature slip through the cracks.
"Snoke" It was Luke's fury building now. Years to think about what had become of Ben at the hands of this monster now it was digging it's claws into his latest apprentice. She was strong and her teachings were going well but it would still take years of practice before she could hold her own against a creature as ruthless as Snoke. "Leave my apprentice alone, you can't take care of me yourself?"
Rey's face twisted to one of amusement. "No one controls me, not you and not Snoke. I'm a person, not a slave!" She let out a cry in rage.
"What about Ben?" Luke saw something flicker in her eyes as the darkness blinked out for a moment but returned in full force.
'Ben doesn't want a weak baby' It felt like there were a thousand voices in her head whispering, none of which she could recognize. 'Kill him' 'Be a good girl' 'Ben will come for you' 'Don't be pathetic' 'No one wants you' 'trash' 'scavenger scum'
Rey tried to understand the voices but the whisperings were growing frequent and louder until it was a roaring in her ears. It was one voice that broke her out of her of her mental prison.
'Stop Rey!' Rey blinked and she was back on Ach-To, back in reality the voices were just distant whispers trying to reach her. She looked across and gasped, Luke Skywalker was limp on the ground. Her energy was zapped but she went to him.
"Luke" She put a hand on his neck checking his pulse. It was there, weak but there. "What have I done?"
'Rey' He sounded so close, like he was right behind her. She turned slowly and sure enough after months and systems apart he was right in front of her.
"Ben" His name crossed her lips like a prayer.
"That's not my name Rey" His cold tone startled her. He'd never been so short with her.
"Are you-" But the rest of the words wouldn't come out, her voice was stuck so instead she took a step towards him leaving Luke behind her.
"No. The force is doing this." Rey didn't know what to say so she just stared at him. There was a scar on his face where she'd got him with the light sabre. She wanted to reach out and touch it, she felt bad for causing him pain. He looked older, more exhausted and darker but also in a strange way lighter. There was something bright inside him burning, Rey wanted to call on it but decided it wasn't the best time.
What Rey didn't know was that Ben, Kylo Ren was looking at her with the same eye, pulling apart her differences from when he'd last saw her. She was taller, a lot taller compared to her previous height but still probably a foot shorter than himself. Her hair was still long and twisted into several small braids then all twisted into one large one. If he had to guess he would say her hair was past her waist now. She was still slim, slimmer than he thought she should be considering she lived with someone who could take care of her now. Her skin wasn't brutally tan but glowed with the suns kiss while freckles poked out around her cheeks and her arms. The thought had crossed Kylo's mind once her twice about how cute she was as a small child, but the word cute wouldn't describe the woman in front of him now. Rey was beautiful, a vision of light and sunshine personified before him and he wanted nothing more than to have her.
And then in an instant he was gone and a black hole in Rey's heart opened and she felt alone again. Luke made a sound from behind her and she snapped out of her stupor and rushed to his side bending down next to him.
With a moan the old man sat up slowly opening his eyes to look at her. "Are you okay?" The first words to pass his lips and Rey couldn't help but give him a loving smile and wrap her arms around him in a hug.
"I'm so sorry. I don't understand what happened but I'm so sorry" She held onto him firmly while he just pat her back a couple times awkwardly.
"Yeah well, help the old man up would you" He arched an eyebrow at her while her cheeks turned pink with embarrassment. He thought so, she would never call him a foolish old man, even in the heat of battle. "There are things I need to tell you"
Rey helped Luke to his feet and they slowly walked up the path into his cottage. Luke sat in a small chair next to his desk while he motioned for Rey to sit on his cot. "Rey, what I'm going to tell you is going to be hard okay but first I need you to show me what you saw in that cave" Luke let out a sigh. "I think they were tampered with by Snoke" Rey just nodded projecting the memory for him. "Well that is close to what happened I'm afraid, but it's not me. Can I show you Rey?" With a shaky deep breath she gave a small nod unsure if she was really ready to see what was coming.
They were back in the hut with her parents and baby Rey. The hooded figure barged into the hut unannounced firing a blaster in the families direction. Rey's mother crouched over the baby in protection while the man shielded the woman with his body the blaster fire stopped, no it didn't just stop it was frozen in midair before it could reach the family.
"Give me your child" The robed man demanded. "You can't keep her from us" The voice was different. No, no this was even worse. The man she realized wasn't a man at all, it was a child. A child desperately trying to be more than that before his time.
Rey's mother and father exchanged a look her mother pulling the baby closer to her chest and turning away out of sight of the monster before them. "Please, she's just an infant" Her mother was begging taking small steps back.
"What good is a child to the First Order. She's only a baby" Her father's voice now. Rey liked his voice it reminded her of Luke's but a little deeper.
"Don't play dumb, I can feel that girls gift from across the galaxy. She is strong with the force and she will be a great asset to the first order, you should be proud." The parents weren't convinced.
"Is that what you are? a great asset?" Her father again that snark, Rey felt a kinship with it.
The blaster was pointed at the woman and child again forcing her to stop moving. She pulled her baby away from the line of the blaster putting her body in between.
"You must have made your family so proud" Anger finally got the better of the robed figure and the blaster shots that were hanging mid fire made contact with the wall of the hut and it collapsed. The commotion left Rey's mother and little her to make a dive through the window and a dash through the dark desert.
Rey was in a panic watching her mother disappear over a sand dune without taking even a second to spare a glance back. They must have known this was coming Rey thought.
"Ben!" It was Luke coming from across the small village of tiny huts and tents, people were gathering, some were running but no one seemed to understand what was happening. "This isn't the mission you were sent on" Disappointment crossed Luke's face, disappointment, sadness but not surprise.
"I already completed your mission old man. I felt her, that baby from light years away, she needs to come back with us" His voice wasn't malicious and Rey almost wondered if he really thought he was doing the right thing here.
"If she doesn't come to us there's nothing we can do. We don't take them" Rey was sure there would be some kind of a stand off, but Ben just pulled his hood down and nodded and the two went back to Luke's ship, leaving her father buried under the remains of the hut.
"Ben killed my father?" She was shaking. How could Ben the man she had been gifted to as a pleasure slave be same person, the same Jedi that struck down her father. He wanted her then and he still wanted her now. Did he know? Does he recognize her? Rey's mind was swirling with questions, she liked Ben but could she like someone who had murdered her family?
"It was more Snoke than Ben" Luke finally spoke and Rey looked up to him. "Snoke would get in Ben's mind the same way he got in yours earlier. He's done it since he was probably 7 or 8 years old." He explained on. "He's smart, Leia and I couldn't sense him through the anger and rage he fed into Ben and Ben began to drown in hatred" It made her sad hearing that. Ben had been terrorized by Snoke far worse than she had been. "He did apologize for what happened to your father and what he did. Sometimes he'd have days where it was like he snapped out of Snoke's spell and he'd feel the regret and guilt for everything he'd been doing. I think Snoke did it to him on purpose to break him down. His sins began to eat him alive"
"He's sorry?" It surprised Rey. "Do you think he remembers me?" Luke looked thoughtful for a minute.
"I think he remembers what happened, but not that it was you, but maybe that's why he took such a liking to you. You never told me how you two came together" Rey's face flushed remembering how Hux had bought her from the junk trader and chained her to Ben's bed. She decided to tell Luke the story only sparing details about her entrapment with Hux.
"He needs me" Rey spoke after several moments of silence, Luke nodded in agreement.
"You will go to him, but you're not ready yet." Rey looked down at her hands disappointed. "Soon though" She looked up to look and nodded, he'd never told her that before. "Now help me back to my bed then get some rest yourself" Rey nodded and took his arm to support some of his weight helping him to his cot like he'd requested.
Rey laid in her bed staring at the ceiling of her room that night unable to sleep. She thought of Ben how he'd spoken to her. She thought of what Ben had done to her family she felt a spark of anger but refused to let it consume her the way Snoke would want. 'I'll save you Ben' She thought.
"Do you think I need to be saved? That I want to be saved?" Rey was on her feet, staff in hand in an instance and just like before there he stood before her.
"Ben" Her heart was pounding in her chest making her breaths come out short and fast. She took a step towards him and reached up towards his face. She was too scared to try and touch him worried this connection would let her, but also worried it would. "I'm so sorry Ben"
He knew she meant it, the guilt that showed through her eyes didn't leave room for deceit. "You should be more careful with your mind now, you're not a child anymore Rey." His tone was cold as he looked down at her. She was much taller now than she had been the last time he saw her. She truly was a woman now not a little girl.
"How long has it been?" The question surprised Kylo, how could she not know that she'd been away from him for years. He had kept track of every day, every moment without her and she hadn't even a clue.
"Skywalker doesn't keep a calendar?" Rey realized she'd offended him and shook her head.
"I've tried to ask Luke before but he doesn't talk about time, past or future." Rey looked to her feet ashamed to meet his eyes.
"The darkness in you has grown since you left me" He let out a strangled laugh. "and I thought you left to avoid that" Her eyes snapped to his with a glare.
"No, I left because Finn needed help. You wanted to kill him and I wasn't going to let you" He felt her anger begin to flare and the little pieces of darkness in her expand.
"So what has Luke been teaching you? Certainly not to control your anger" He was taunting her now and she was taking the bait. "He isn't teaching you enough, I can feel it. Your training should have been completed by now, but he still doesn't think you're ready, does he?" He hit a nerve.
"I work as hard as I can everyday so I can come back to you!" Kylo could feel static in the air as anger and pain rolled from her in waves crashing into him. "I left the friends I've made to come here so I could be better for you"
"You didn't leave your friends Rey, they sent you away" his words cut her like a knife. The anger she felt was replaced with pain and loneliness. "They don't care about you Rey, they care about how powerful you are" he took a step towards her and she mirrored him with a step back. Rey gripped her robes at the center of her chest hoping the pressure would alleviate the hollowness that was growing inside her. "If they cared about you they would have kept you, but they sent you away to train. You think you're doing it for me, but you're learning to fight for them." Another step forward but Rey's legs were pressed against her cot now and she didn't want to make herself any smaller in his presence. "Ask Luke about what happened the last night of his Jedi Academy. Ask him about how he tried to kill me. Ask him how he feels about the power you have" He was raising his voice against her pressing into her. "Be careful Rey, if Luke feels the darkness in you growing like I do he won't hesitate to put an end to it" And then he was gone.
Rey collapsed back onto her bed breathing heavy. What had just happened? Was Ben lying? It didn't feel like a lie but Rey didn't want to believe that Luke would try to Kill his own family. The wind outside was picking up whistling through the shutters of her cottage and Rey pulled her small blanket tighter around herself to stay warm. For a few minutes she imagined what her life would have been like if she'd never took an interest in Kylo Ren on Jakku.
"Rey" Her eyes snapped to the door of her hut, Luke was there eyes filled with concern. Did he know that Ben had come to her? Rey hadn't slept a wink she didn't even register it was morning until she noticed the light shining behind Luke. "Are you okay Rey? What happened?" He was coming towards her and Rey found herself pressing her back into the stone wall. Had Luke really tried to kill Ben? Ben was right the darkness in her had grown. Rey suddenly felt like she was drowning in failure, she had promised Luke she wouldn't fail him but she was more and more each day falling at the hands of the darkness inside her. Falling to the hands of the darkness Snoke had put in her.
"Did you want to kill Ben?" Her voice is shaken and Luke looks to her with shock. "Are you scared of me?" Her won't look at him her knee's pulled to her chest tightly. She's hugging herself for some kind of comfort.
"It's complicated Rey" Her heart was pounding.
"But it's true?" Luke sat at the edge of her cot and looked down at his hands resting in his lap.
"I sensed the darkness in Ben, much like I sense it in you now" Rey looked at him afraid pushing herself as far into the wall behind as she could, begging herself to disappear. "I couldn't help Ben and I thought for the briefest moment that the galaxy would be a better place without him" Luke paused for a moment bidding her to look at him. "It was a moment of my own weakness and I'm not proud of it. By the time I considered what I'd done it was too late. Ben reacted appropriately… at first" Luke delay had Rey meeting his eyes. "He destroyed his hut, he buried me. That was in self-defense, but he kept going" Rey could see the pain in Luke's eyes as he reflected on what happened. "He destroyed the jedi academy I built, what is worse than that he murdered all of the padawans I was training" Rey felt her stomach drop.
Could Ben really have done something so awful? Killing innocent children in an act against his uncle. Rey knew by the look in Luke's eyes that he wasn't lying even though she wished he was, she was struck with a thought.
"He didn't kill them all" It was Luke's turn to look confused. "He took some of them with him to Snoke. I've met a couple. I don't really remember much about them now though"
There was a pregnant pause as the two looked at each other, each waiting for the other to speak. It was Rey who spoke up first. "How long Luke?" She rests her forehead back on her knee's breaking their eye contact.
"You're just not ready yet Re-"."How long have I been here?" She interrupted quickly. Luke wasn't prepared to answer that question. He kept time from her on purpose, he didn't want her to know how long she had been with him. "How long Luke?" She looked up at him eyes shining a vibrant green with unshed tears. He couldn't look at her anymore, he stood up and stepped to the other side of the room. "Luke!" He could hear a hint of panic in her voice.
"Nine years" She barely heard him, he'd spoke in less than a whisper. No, that wasn't possible it couldn't have been more than a few months let alone several years. Rey shoved herself up on her feet and stumbled toward him her mind was beginning to feel muddled.
"How" She voice was slurred and she felt to her knee's in seconds.
Luke looked down at her his eyes filled with something like guilt and maybe regret. "It'll be okay Rey, just rest" He bent down in front of her placing a hand on the side of her face. She felt him pulling at her mind, she thought she would faint from the pain. He was ripping at her memories observing, she felt relief for moment as her conversation with Ben flashed to the front of her mind.
"No" He stood back up to his full height and took a step back from her. "I'm so sorry Rey, I've failed you" He put his hand to his belt where his light sabre normally was but it was gone. In an instant he dashed out the door of her hut, leaving Rey panting on the ground confused and in pain.
A/N: Whoa plot twist… maybe? In the next chapter I'm going to explain a little better how Luke kept the time away from Rey after all a lot happens in the early teens so I feel that an explanation of how it works needs to happen. I hope this chapter was enjoyable for y'all. I like the idea of Luke being a bit more villainous. He always feels like he's doing the right thing for the galaxy so he's acting on his convictions but I like that he doesn't have the best moral center with his actions.
