Extract
"Um, hey, Freddie," Carly said as she entered Sam and Freddie's apartment.
"Hey, Carly," Freddie said brightly from the kitchen where he was mixing something in a bowl. "How was the mall?"
"Um, it was…interesting," Carly said. "Listen, you need to-"
"Hey, do you think vanilla extract or almond extract would taste best for those special cookies we saw them making on the food channel last night?" Freddie asked. "I don't really remember the exact recipe, so I'm going off of-"
"Will you put down your extracts?" Carly said. "I'm trying to talk to you!"
"Okay," Freddie frowned. "What's up? Wait…where's Sam? She went to the mall with you, right?"
"Yeah, um, that's sort of what I need to talk to you about," Carly said.
"Is she okay?" Freddie asked.
"She's fine, sort of," Carly told him.
"Sort of? What do you mean-"
"She's in mall jail!" Carly said.
"Mall jail?" Freddie repeated. "What happened? Is she still there?"
"Yes, that's why I came and got you," Carly said. "The mall cops won't let her go until she pays the two hundred dollar fine. I only had twenty dollars on me, otherwise I would've gotten her out myself."
"Oh man," Freddie said, quickly pulling off his apron and grabbing his car keys. "This is great…"
"Just hurry," Carly told him. "I warned Sam to be on her best behavior before I came here, but, well…you know how impatient she can be."
"Watch the cookies!" Freddie said as he rushed out the door.
….
"Hi, um I'm here to pay a fine to get my wife out of the jail back there," Freddie said, walking up to the desk of the mall's security office.
"What's her name?" the officer at the desk lazily asked.
"Samantha Benson."
"Benson…Benson," the officer said, typing on his computer. "Okay, here she is. Oh wait a minute…she's the lady who pushed the man into the fountain!"
"She pushed someone into the fountain?" Freddie sighed.
"Yeah, right after she hit him with this weird sock thingy full of butter," the officer replied.
"The butter sock," Freddie nodded. "Listen, I'm sorry about any…disturbances she might have caused. Can I just pay the fine and get her out?"
"Yeah, two hundred bucks," the officer said.
"Here," Freddie said, handing him the money.
"Good," the officer said, quickly counting the bills. "Follow me."
Freddie followed the officer to a back room, where there were three jail cells. He spotted Sam in the first one, sitting on the wooden bench inside.
"Alright, mam, you've been bailed out," the officer said, unlocking the cell.
"About time," Sam said, getting to her feet. "I'm starving in here! Would it kill you to put a fridge in there?"
"Sam, come on. Let's just go," Freddie said.
"Whatever," Sam said.
The couple left the security office.
"Hey, can we stop at the churro cart?" Sam asked. "I'm in the mood for-"
"Sam, how could you get arrested?" Freddie exclaimed. "We've been over this; you're not a teenager anymore! They're not going to send you to juvie anymore where you can get out in a couple of days! You promised me when we got together that you wouldn't get into any kind of trouble that could land you in prison!"
"First of all, it wasn't prison, it was mall jail," Sam said. "And second, it's not like I planned on winding up in there! That cop totally overreacted. I didn't do anything worth taking me there for!"
"You beat a guy with your butter sock and then pushed him into the fountain!" Freddie said. "I think that's the sort of thing mall cops are trained to see as something to react to!"
"Look, can we just go home?" Sam said.
"Yeah, fine," Freddie said. "But seriously, Sam; what could possessed you to push a guy into the fountain? Did he cut you in line at Dairy Heir? Did he bump into you? You've got to stop getting so worked up about stupid things and start learning to control your anger in public! I mean, look what happened!"
"For your information," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "I used my butter sock on him and pushed him into the fountain because after fifteen minutes of him following me and Carly around the food court, hitting on me, I got annoyed."
"What?" Freddie frowned. "He was hitting on you? As in flirting with you, my wife? You did tell him you were married to me right?"
"Yes, I told him I was married," Sam said. "But the stubrag wouldn't give it up. After he kept saying that him and I should go with him to get out names tattooed on each others arm, I finally cracked and gave him what he deserved."
"So you just hit him with the butter sock and pushed him in the fountain?" Freddie cried. "Come on, last week when I accidently ate the last powdered donut, you nearly gave me a concussion!"
"Oh, so what happened to me "trying to control my anger in public"?" Sam smirked.
"That goes out the window when some guy tries flirting with you!"
"Wow, aren't you jealous?" Sam laughed.
"Well how am I supposed to be right after I find out my wife can't even go to the mall without being hit on?" Freddie said.
"Oh come on, you're totally overreacting," Sam said. "It was just some lame guy who works at the Pottery Barrel. He probably hit on a dozen different chicks before me today."
"Stupid Pottery Barrel," Freddie mumbled. "Well, I am returning that lamp shade I bought there!"
"That's fine, considering your mom bought it for us, not you," Sam said. "Now come, buy me a churro and then let's get out of here."
…
"So, did Freddie chew you out for getting sent to mall jail?" Carly asked as the two girls sat on Sam and Freddie's couch, watching reruns of Metal Chef.
"Eh, he started to, but then when he found out that the guy I pushed into the fountain had been hitting on me before, he got more upset about that then he did about the whole jail thing," Sam explained.
"That guy was such a jerk," Carly said. "I mean, you must've told him a dozen times to get lost. If I carried a sock filled with butter in my purse, I would've used it on him too, right before pushing him into a fountain."
"No you wouldn't," Sam laughed. "You're Carly. Do you even know how to swing a butter sock?"
"Okay, fine," Carly chuckled. "Hey, where's Freddie now?"
"Probably hanging out with Gibby or something," Sam shrugged.
Just then, her pearphone rang.
"Hello?" she said, answering.
"Hello, is this Sam Benson?" a voice on the other end asked.
"Yeah…why?" Sam frowned.
"We have a Freddie Benson in custody at the Seattle Town Center Mall," the voice replied. "He claims to be your husband."
"Um, yeah, he is," Sam said. "But when you say in custody, do you mean-?"
"-The mall's security office, yes," the voice said. "Mr. Benson had a bit of an altercation with a cashier at the Pottery Barrel. He needs to have someone come pay the fine to release him."
"Oh, sure, I'll be right over," Sam said.
"What's up?" Carly asked as Sam hung up.
"Well, looks I'm not the only Benson who wound up arrested today," Sam grinned.
