Disclaimer: All characters belong to E. L. James and Sylvia Day

Ana

Christian has talked to Dr. Flynn about three hours last night. He seemed to be very withdrawn after that and stayed in his study for the rest of the night. I hope today, after a day without a drink for Christian we can finally talk. I also hope that he will realize how serious the situation of his company is once he has talked to Miss Bailey who will be here around noon.

Since it is early in the morning and I don't have anything else to do I decide to go for a run until Christian is up. So, I get dressed in some shorts, a top, shirt and running shoes and make my way downstairs. But when I enter the great room I can't quite believe what I am seeing.

Christian is sleeping on the sofa on his stomach and on the floor is one empty bottle of whisky and a half empty bottle of vodka. In this moment I am so angry I want to strangle him, but instead I make my way to Taylor's room and knock until he opens the door.

"Miss Steele?" he asks a little confused to see me this early.

"He is passed out drunk on the sofa in the great room, Taylor. I need you and Mrs. Jones to check the entire apartment for spots where he might have hidden more alcohol, also please remove anything else that contains alcohol from the apartment. You know, perfume, after shave, even cough syrup."

"Of course, Miss Steele, but do you think he will let us do that?" he asks concerned.

"Oh, he won't even be here, so don't worry about that. Now, where does Mrs. Jones keep her cleaning supplies?"

"In the utility room, it's right there." he points to a door down the hall and I get inside and find a bucket. In the kitchen I fill it with cold water carry it to the sofa and throw the cold water all over him.

He jumps up coughing and sputtering. "What's the matter Christian, didn't make it to your bed last night?" I ask sarcasm dripping from each word.

"Why the fuck did you do that?"

"Why, you are seriously asking me why? What is this Christian?" I ask and lift the bottles from the floor. "You promised not to drink for one freaking day, yet here you are hung over again! You know what I don't even want to talk about it. We are going for a run, you have five minutes to get ready or I swear I'm dragging you out of here in what ever you are wearing!"

"I am not..."

"Go. Get. Dressed!" I hiss and his eyes widen.

"Yes, Ma'am" he mutters like a sulking teenager and leaves the great room.

It's not even seven in the morning, but I call his mom anyway.

"Anastasia, you are calling early, is everything alright with Christian?"

"Good morning Grace, and no, Christian is not alright. It's bad Grace, he has a serious drinking problem, he can't even stay away from it for one freaking day. I don't think I can fix him in five days. Actually, I am taking him to the hospital now, so he can get his blood work done. Maybe that's the wake up call he needs. Anyway, why I am calling is that I need your help. We might need to convince him to go into rehab and I am not familiar with the facilities here in Seattle, so can you find the best in town and ask if they have a spot for him if I get him to go?"

"Yes, of course. Oh, Ana how did this happen?"

"I don't know, Grace. It's like he has just given up and he doesn't care about anything... listen he is coming back, I'll call you later." I hang up and grab a bottle of water from the fridge right when Christian's appears in the kitchen.

"Since when are you all about getting an early workout?" he asks when we are in the elevator.

"Oh well, I have this really crazy plan, you know? It includes me getting really old and one day I just want to go to bed and die peacefully in my sleep. So, in order for me to get there I eat healthy, exercise and make sure that I get enough sleep. You should try that, too." I mutter and two minutes later we go for a run. I know where the hospital is where Grace works, so that's the route I've picked for us.

"Fuck, don't go so fast, Ana! This is not the New York marathon!" Christian hisses after ten minutes. He is already sweating like crazy and breathing heavily.

"I know it's not, I did the New York marathon last year and believe me, on the pace I am running here just so you can keep up with me, I would still be on my way to the finish line."

"You've run the New York marathon?"

"Yes, to raise money for Safe Haven, one of my charity projects. Now, less of the chit-chat and more of the running, come on Grey, show me what you got!" and with that I pick up my pace and just like I expected it to happen about five minutes later Christian is hunched over a trash can puking his guts out.

"Mmmh, nothing beats a good whisky, right? Tell me does it taste as good now as it did yesterday?" I ask when he has stopped to puke and for the first time I get a glimpse of the Christian I know, because he stares at me in the most forbidding way.

"You think this is funny, Anastasia?"

"No, actually, I think it's tragic. Now, here, drink some water and then we can continue." I hold the bottle out to him and he takes it.

Finally, thirty minutes we arrive at the hospital and he stares at me. "Why are we here?"

"Because you'll get your blood work done, now."

"No! Absolutely not." he says and turns to leave, so I have no other choice.

"Fine, I'll just call Grace and ask her to stop by at Escala to draw a blood sample from you."

The moment he hears me say that he stops and turns back around. "No, do you hear me, Anastasia you will not call my mother!"

"You have two options, Christian. Either you get your ass inside that hospital now, or I'll call her and I don't give a rat's ass if you like it or not."

He gives me a cold stare and heads towards the entrance ignoring me completely, not only while we are waiting for him to see a Doctor, but also on our way back to the apartment and at his penthouse. So, I decide to take a shower and change before breakfast and even then he is giving me the silent treatment.

Around noon I am working on my laptop while he has changed his tactic and is sitting opposite me glaring at me. I simply ignore him, if he wants to play some stupid mind games he won't win them with me.

"Miss Bailey is here" Taylor announces a little while later and Christian frowns.

"Ros, why are you here?" he asks when she walks in.

"I was told you are finally ready to face the music, boss. And it's about fucking time, because I am not going down with GEH, Grey. I've worked with you to build this company from day one, but if you want to ruin it, then I am gone."

"What the fuck are you talking about, Ros" he hisses and I decide to give them some privacy and walk over to the breakfast bar. About fifteen minutes later Christian is pacing the great room, pulling his hair so hard I am actually afraid he is going to rip it all out.

"How could this happen, Ros?" he asks completely horrified and she snorts.

"How this happened, Christian? Seriously? I've told you for months now to either quit the drinking or give me the authorities I need to run GEH alone. Hell boss, you've been to the office ten times last month and 9 out of 10 times you've been hung over and completely worthless. And the one time you weren't hung over you sat in a meeting having one drink after the other. People are scared, Christian. Everyone worries that they are losing their jobs and I can do shit about it. I've heard rumors that some assholes are planning a hostile takeover. Wake up, Christian, because there is still time to get GEH back on track, but you have to give me the authority to do so." she begs him and finally I can see that it dawns on Christian that his company is in deep trouble.

"I still don't understand! Why didn't you inform me about this earlier, Ros?" he asks and she snorts.

"I am telling you this for months now, but on the rare occasions you aren't drunk you are in complete denial. I'm trying to hold GEH together, but it's hard if the boss is ignoring what going on. We have lost three very important deals last month alone and it's getting worse."

"Ana!" he calls out for me, so I make my way to where they are sitting.

"What do you need, Christian."

"Where did you hear that GEH is in trouble."

"Gideon told me about it. He also asked me to tell you that you can call him if you need help or more information."

"I see" he snaps and I am tempted to tell him about Gideon now, but it's just not the right moment.

"Ros, I'll see you tomorrow in my office. I need to think this through, before I decide what to do." he says and she sighs. I guess that is an answer she must have gotten before.

"You better show up, Christian. Because if you don't, I quit." she says and leaves a couple of minutes later, while Christian disappears into his study. I peek in, just to make sure that he is not drinking again. But he is just sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. Maybe it's best to give him some time.

In the early evening a courier arrives with the results of Christian's blood work. Grace has pulled some strings so that they returned as fast as possible and because Christian is still in his study I take the envelope and bring it to him.

He is sitting at his desk cursing like a drunken sailor. And his hands are shaking, making it hard for him to type on the keyboard of his computer. I guess that's because he didn't have a drink today.

"What?" he snaps when I come in.

"The results of your blood work arrived." I hand him the envelope and watch as he opens it and flicks through the contents.

"They must have sent the wrong results, those are not mine" he says, so I take them from him and read the report.

"I don't think that they've send you the wrong file. Look at that Christian, have you read what it says? You're liver can't tolerate the amounts of alcohol you are drinking much longer. Do you know what alcoholic hepatitis is? Because that's what is going to happen to you if you don't stop to drink!"

"I don't have a drinking problem, I might have had too much to drink for a short while, but I can stop when ever I want." he says and I sigh.

"Really, then why are your hands shaking? Why are you sweating like you've just ran a freaking mara..."

"I don't have a fucking problem, Anastasia. All I need are five seconds of fucking silence and a drink!"

"No what you need is to understand that you have a serious issue and that you need help. Look at you Christian, you are no longer in control, you have given up all your precious control and now it's the alcohol that is controlling you. You need to go to rehab and..."

"I'm fine"

"No you are not" I snap back and he pushes to his feet and slams his fists on the desk.

"I. Am. Fine. Understand?" he says and glares at me.

"No, you are not, you are lying to yourself. Just read this, read it carefully and then google what this means."

I leave his study and for the rest of the evening he stays in his study. Around midnight I give up and go to bed only to wake up to the sound of his piano a couple of hours later.

After I while I decide to check on him, but once I am out of the bed I frown and realize, that I didn't see his piano in the great room, when I arrived. I wonder why he moved it. I follow the sounds of the piano until I am outside his playroom.

Why is the piano in the playroom? I push the door open and gasp. Everything that once was in this room has been removed and the walls are now painted black giving the perfect contrast for all the pictures Jose took of me. And in the middle of the room is the piano facing the picture of me in which I am smiling brightly.

If anyone else would have done something like this; decorate a room solely with my pictures, I would have been completely freaked out, but knowing that Christian did this I am sad. This room was his sanctuary, the one place in the world where he was in complete control and now it's like a gallery full of pictures that remind him of what could have been.

Before I really know what I am doing I find myself moving closer to the piano and sit down next to Christian on the bench. He continues to play or to be honest he is trying to play, but his hands are shaking so badly he has a hard time pressing the right keys.

Suddenly he stops closes the lit and rests his head on it. "I miss her"

"Who?"

"The girl in the pictures" he replies and I smile.

"She is still there. She just had to grow up, spread her wings and learn how to fly."

"Is he treating you right, Cross?"

"Yes, he is. Can I tell you a story?"

"What story?" he asks and lifts his head a little to look at me.

"The story of the girl in the pictures."

He nods and I start. "Her mother was born into a rich family, but she always felt like a misfit, the black sheep. She couldn't really connect with her parents or her older sister. But when she was a teenager her sister married and her brother-in-law was a really nice person. Eventually she fell in love with him. She spent the summer before she was supposed to go to college with her sister, her brother-in-law and their son. And to make a long story short, she ended up having an affair with him and ended up pregnant by her brother-in-law. Her family disowned her and forced her to marry an old family friend who was willing to take her child as his own."

"Wait, so Frank Lambert is not your biological father?" he asks and I shake my head.

"Did you know that all the time?"

"No, do you want me to continue with the story?" I ask and he nods. "So, Carla gave birth to a girl and she named her Anastasia, after the Russian princess, because she wanted her daughter to be strong and beautiful, just like the princess. Almost 22 years later Anastasia went to New York with her pervert of a boss, who had nothing better to do than to drug her and try to rape her. Luckily for her there was a man in the room next door who heard her scream and that man happened to be the owner of the hotel who came into the room with his master-key and saved her. And because the man, namely Gideon, was worried if the girl was going to be okay, he went to the hospital the same night to check on her. But when he got the first good look of her face he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing. Because the girl he had saved looked just like his aunt Carla, who he had seen the last time when he was only four years old. So, he returned the next day and asked the girl if her mother happened to be his aunt Carla. And guess what, she is. That left the girl wondering why her mother had lied to her about having a family and when Anastasia talked to her mother she found out that the man who saved her is not just her cousin, but her half-brother. And since then the girl has found a family in her half- brother and his other half-sister Ireland."

I stop and look at Christian who just stares at me completely blank.

"He... he is not your boyfriend?"

"No, Gideon is my brother, the best brother in the world."

"I thought ... why isn't that public knowledge?"

"Because it is safer for me if everyone thinks I am just a random friend or his sister's roommate, and of course I don't want my mom to go through public humiliation when everyone knows that she had an affair with her sister's husband."

"Do you... have someone in your life?" he asks and I stare at my hands, but I decide that I am not going to lie to him.

"I went on a couple of dates, but it never went beyond the first kiss, for the last six months I am in a sexual relationship with a good friend of mine. It's nothing serious, just friends with benefits."

Christian does not look pleased to say at least, but wisely he says nothing.

"So, you've never been in love with anyone?" he looks so hopeful that for a moment I forget all about my plan to give him tough love.

"No, I gave my heart away nearly three years ago, and no matter how much I tried to forget you, it's still yours" I say and get up.

"It's really early, I'll go back to bed. You should get some sleep, too." I kiss his cheek and go back to bed. Maybe this was completely wrong, but I just had to be honest with him.

I wake up again at nearly eight in the morning, take a quick shower, get dressed and make my way to the kitchen.

"Good morning, Gail. Is Christian still asleep?"

"No, he already left, he left this for you, Miss Steele." she says and points to a letter on the breakfast bar. I take it and sit down before I open it.

Ana,

ever since I've found out how wrong I was about everything I thought to be the truth about you, I have been so ashamed. Too ashamed to do the right thing, which would have been to face you and apologize. Even though I know that a simple apology is not enough. I kept telling myself that since you have Cross; you have moved on and I am just a bitter reminder of a past you've left behind.

Seeing you again was a shock, never in a million years did I think that you would show up here. That is why I am so thankful you did, it was the wake up call that I needed. I did a lot of thinking in the last couple of hours while I watched you sleep, and you are right, I need to get my shit together. Sadly, you were also right when you said that I have given the alcohol the control over my life. Still, knowing that I am about to lose my company and maybe even my life wasn't enough for me to change.

Now I have a reason. You are my reason, Ana. I know that I have a long way to go before I can earn your forgiveness, but there is hope. So, I've contacted my mother and now that you are reading this letter I am on my way to a rehab facility. I want my life back and I want to redeem myself, so one day I might be worthy of you.

I am not asking you to wait for me, but I want you to know that once I am myself again, I am going to fight for you. Because the simple truth is I love you, Anastasia Steele and I would move heaven and earth to win you back.

Christian

Oh. My. God. Christian loves me...

Don't worry, about them being apart again, because I am going to have a little time jump in the next chapter. And for those who weren't sure about the outcome of this story, by HEA I'm talking about them getting married and live happily together for the rest of their lives.