Sorry for the long wait, but now I have the remaining chapters for this story complete and will post daily. Including this one, there are three chapters and the epilog left... this one is a short chapter, but the other ones are longer... oh and after the epilog, I have a little surprise :-)
Christian
I wake up and reach over to Ana's side of the bed, but find it empty. Sitting up in bed I notice that it is almost eight in the morning, so I get up, take a quick shower, brush my teeth and shave, before heading into the walk in closet where I put some boxer briefs, a pair of jeans and a turquoise t-shirt on. I smile when I look at the t-shirt and the stack of colorful t-shirts in one of the build in shelves.
I was never a guy who liked to wear bright colors, so my usual choices are black, white and gray. However, when I took Ana on a little shopping spree last week she insisted that I would buy some clothes in more cheerful colors. I said no, she pouted and in the end, I let her pick some t-shirts for me. My plan was to never wear them, yet, I find myself wearing them more and more often. And that's by far not the only change that happened here since Ana moved in.
The first thing she threw out was my alarm clock, now we have this weird alarm that imitates the sunrise and has sounds of singing birds. I never thought I would even wake up from that, but it works and to my own surprise it is much nicer to wake up to sounds of singing birds than to the radio news. She also got rid of my collection of the Playboy Magazine and she actually started to laugh at me when she discovered that I had only editions with brunette cover models. Yeah, I guess I really do have a type.
What surprised me was when she discovered, that I not only had gotten rid of the playroom, but also all the toys. She actually started to pout and the same evening I came home and found two bags full of toys on our bed. Man, did we have fun that night trying all of them.
"No bouncing on the bed, little man." I hear Ana's voice and find her with Sam in the bedroom. She looks at me and frowns.
"Okay, that's weird." She giggles and it takes me a moment to realize that we are all dressed in jeans with a t-shirt in the same color.
"Well, if you two can match then I want to match, too." I grin and kiss her.
"Good morning, baby. I missed you when I woke up."
"Good morning to you too, handsome. I didn't want to wake you up, you have been working so much last week, you deserve to sleep a little longer every once in a while."
"I'd rather wake up early and have my way with you." I give her ass a squeeze when I say that and she slaps my bicep and steps out of reach.
"Behave; we are not alone in the room." She scolds me and I look at Sam, who is happily jumping on the bed.
"Samuel Raymond, what did I tell you about jumping on the bed?" Ana says sternly and he flops down on the bed and gives her an adorable little smile.
"Raymond?" I ask her.
"He didn't have a name when he was found. I was one of the first persons he allowed to hold him, so I was asked to pick his middle name... and you know, I just thought... doesn't matter." She murmurs and I lift her chin with one finger so she has to look at me.
"Talk to me."
"From the moment I first saw Sam, I felt like he is a part of me, it's hard to explain and I always wanted my first son to have Ray's name... so that's why I picked the name for him. It's stupid, I know."
"No, it's not, baby. You love him, that's a good thing. Now, let's feed the little guy, because he is trying to chew your pillow."
"Yeah, he is chewing everything within his reach, I looked into his mouth earlier and it looks like the last of his molars is coming in."
"Isn't he a bit old for teething?"
"We don't know exactly how old he is and some kids start to teeth really late, so it's not that unusual. Come on, Sam, we are going to make breakfast and I have a teething ring for you." She says and I follow them. She opens the freezer and hands Sam something that looks like a pretzel.
"What is that?"
"It's a teething ring, which is designed in a way so he can chew on it with his molars; it's chilled so it helps with his sore gums. Chewing on something helps to lessen the pain; and Sam is literally chewing everything. Nina told me that he is chewing on his bed and just about anything, he can reach. I also have some Globuli and Tylenol for him if he is in more pain, but right now the ring seems to help."
"You really know a lot about children." I murmur and she smiles.
"I guess, so do you have any plans for today?"
"Yes, I thought we could take Sam to Bellevue, my parents would be delighted to have a child running around the house."
"Okay, so how about blueberry pancakes and fruit salad for breakfast?"
"Sounds good to me."
Three hours later, we are at my parent's house and while my Dad and Ana are playing ball with Sam, I am on the patio with my Mom, watching them.
"He is a precious little boy, Christian." My mom says and I decide to open up to her.
"I want to adopt him, Mom." The moment those words have left my mouth my Mom stares at me wide eyed.
"You... you want to adopt him?"
"Yes, look Ana adores him; she calls Safe Haven every day to check if he is alright and to ask how his day was. She misses him like crazy and she told me herself that in her heart she sees him as her son."
"Christian, darling, you can't just adopt a child to make Ana happy, can you see yourself as his father?"
"Yes, he is a great little guy; I know it won't be easy. He has been through hell and it is going to be difficult with him growing up, but... I can see myself in him, Mom. If it wasn't for you and Dad, who knows if I would even be still alive. If Ana and I can make a difference in his life, help him to grow into a happy adult, then this is what I want to do. He deserves a happy childhood and a good home and I know we can give him that. And what's more, I absolutely adore him. He is a great kid, he just needs parents who love him and set boundaries for him, so he can come out of his shell with time. I just want him to be happy, Mom. He deserves a real chance in life and we can give him that."
I'm actually a little startled when my Mom starts to cry. Fuck, I thought she would be happy.
"Mom, what is wrong?"
"Nothing darling, I'm just so happy. There were times when I was so worried you would never find happiness for yourself and to hear you talking about wanting your own family and... I'm sorry I'm just a silly old woman." She sniffs and I hand her handkerchief.
"It's alright, Mom. I just needed a little longer to find out that life can be good.
In early evening, after Nina and Sam had to go back to New York I can tell that Ana is upset that Sam had to go back, so I ask her to sit down with me for a moment.
"Baby, there is something I want to talk to you about."
"What is it?"
"Well, now that we have found our new home, I thought how would you feel about it if we wouldn't move in alone?"
"Umm, well I was kind of suspecting that the security and Gail would move too." She says and rolls her eyes.
"Careful, Miss Steele. You don't want to have an important conversation with me while I am spanking that pretty little ass of yours."
"Sorry, so who is moving in with us?"
"Sam." I watch Ana's face as she lets that sink in, but to my surprise, she looks sad.
"Christian let's not talk about this." She says and gets up. What the hell?
"Ana wait, what is wrong, I thought you would be happy about this. I want us to be a family."
"It's not that easy, Christian. First we can't adopt him."
"Why the hell not?" I snap and she gives me a small smile.
"The only state that approves of unmarried couples to adopt a child together is Vermont. If we want to adopt Sam, it would mean that only one of us can make the petition to adopt him, leaving the other one with no legal rights. It would be an even longer process because we are not living in the same state and... doesn't matter." She says and walks away, but I follow her.
"Ana please, talk to me." I plead and she stops at the breakfast bar.
"Look, if you want to adopt a child, you have to undergo medical evaluation, the agency will run background checks on you and... you are a recovering alcoholic Christian, I don't believe that you will be approved to adopt a child anytime soon. Especially a child like Sam with special needs and because we are living together I don't think that I would have any chance to get approved either. Do I want to adopt Sam? Of course, but it would absolutely break my heart if we wouldn't be approved to adopt him. Please, I don't want to talk about this anymore."
"Baby, do you think I haven't thought about this myself? I have talked to my lawyers and your friend Nina. I wasn't aware that we need to be married to adopt him together, but from what I was told, we have a good chance to be approved. In addition, I want us to go to New York on Thursday and talk to the agency. Find out what is required from us and go from there."
"What if they tell us that we don't even have to try?" She asks and it is just now that I realize she is really scared to take this steps.
"Baby, why are you so scared?"
Instead of answering, she walks over to me, wraps her arms around my waist and rests her head against my chest.
"Because the moment I first saw Sam I knew that this is my son. I can't describe it, I just had this instant connection with him, but I kept telling myself that he deserves so much more, a family where he can grow up with mother and father, have siblings one day. Now, I'm scared that we start the process of adopting him, something comes up, and we are told that we can't adopt him, because I know once that happens CPS is going to advise me that I shouldn't see him anymore. That scares me, because it would break my heart not to see him anymore."
"Baby, you don't know that and if you want to be his mother, then don't be scared. We can make this work. You have so many contacts in New York, you know all the people whose help we need to adopt Sam. He deserves so much more then to live at Safe Haven until he is 18. I know that it is a great place, but it doesn't replace a family. We can be his family, Ana. Can we try it, just go to New York and meet with CPS to find out what we are required to do?"
I look into her beautiful eyes and see her inner turmoil. "Don't be scared, baby. We can make this work, and I don't want you to wake up one day and regret that you were too scared to try. Think about this weekend, how amazing would it be to have the little guy around every day. We can be a family, we can be what he needs, Ana."
She just gazes into my eyes for a moment and very slowly and small smile appears on her lips. "Okay, let's do this. I love you, Christian Grey, so, so much!"
"And I love you, baby, more than I can ever put into words."...
