Hi ladies, thank you all so much for your support!

I have two more chapters ready, though I won't be able to post until next Sunday or the Monday after this chapter. School is starting again on Monday and as most of you know, the first week of a new school year is crazy especially with now six kids that I have to help get ready or more likely pull them out of bed by the hair to get to school on time ;-) At least the little ones have one more week before they have to go back to kindergarten and then it's just me and little miss Hannah from morning until noon or even afternoon, so that might give me some extra time to write and give you guys more regular updates...


Chapter 5 - A Ray Of Light

"Annie... Annie come here sweetheart." I hear a familiar voice and suddenly there is light in the darkness. I feel light and there is no pain anymore.

I run towards the light, towards the voice and find myself running into the open arms of my father.

"Daddy... I have missed you so much, Daddy." I sob and he smiles down at me.

"Oh Annie, I've never left your side... and I never will, but you can't stay sweetheart... it's not your time to stay."

"But I don't want to leave you, Daddy."

"I know, sweetheart. But if you stay you can't be with your family anymore. Look." Ray points to something in the dark and slowly I start to see.

There are doctors and police officers. A female cop is holding my baby, while another one is comforting Emily and then I see it. I am on the cold ground and doctors are working on me... I hear things like unresponsive... no pulse... not breathing... blood loss is too severe... and keep trying...

"Go now Annie or it will be too late."

"I love you, Daddy."

"Oh Annie, I love you too, and I am so so proud of you." Looking at my father's smiling face I feel a strong pull... something is pulling at me, pulling me towards my body and slowly darkness surrounds me once more...

Christian

I'm pacing like a caged lion. What the hell is taking them so long? We've received the call that Ana was found and would be airlifted to the hospital thirty minutes ago, though we have been here for almost an hour. My mother convinced me that going straight to the hospital would be better than trying to find Ana on my own, but this waiting is driving me fucking insane.

"Mr. Grey?" I turn around when I see a young doctor holding a flip chart.

"Is my wife here?"

"Yes, she is being taken to the OR as we speak."

"I want to be with her for the c-section." I tell him immediately and the doctor shifts uncomfortably.

"Mr. Grey, when your wife was found she already had given birth to your daughter. She has lost a lot of blood and needed to be revived at the scene. We need to perform surgery on her right now, it's serious. I need you to sign this."

"Serious... serious how?"

"Mr. Grey, we don't have time, please sign this form." He pleads.

"What is this?"

"We need permission to remove your wife's uterus if necessary. We'll try everything within our power to fix the damage, but chances are we need to perform a hysterectomy to save your wife's life."

I stop listening and sign... I can live with the fact that we won't have another baby... but I can't live without my wife.

"Do whatever you have to, just please save my wife."

"We'll do whatever we can, Mr. Grey. A nurse will be with you shortly to bring you to your daughter." The doctor says and hurries off, only for a cop to walk over to us.

"Mr. Grey... there was a child with your wife, a young girl..."

"I don't give a fuck about the girl... she is the child of the woman who kidnapped my wife!" I hiss at the cop.

"Yes, but Sir... the child shows signs of malnourishment and physical abuse." Fuck, just what I need right now.

"Listen, tell the hospital I pay for her treatment, but I don't want to be bothered with that kid. My wife is fighting for life and I haven't even seen my daughter so far, I can't deal with this shit right now... get CPS involved." I snap at the cops who nods and has the decency to leave me alone.

"She is just a child, bro." Elliot says and I glare at him.

"I don't fucking care... Ana might die... she ... she ... I just can't deal with anything else right now... not until I know that Ana will pull through this." I say desperate... when I heard her voice on the phone, I was so full of hope... and now ... I guess it's really true.. Hope breeds eternal misery...

"Mr. Grey?" I hear my name being called again, this time by a young nurse.

"Yes?"

"Hello, my name is Neely. I'm a nurse at the NICU. Would you like to come and meet your daughter."

"NICU? What is wrong with her?"

"Nothing, but her temperature was a little low when she was first brought in and because she was a bit early too, the doctors decided to have her in an incubator over night. Come, you can see her right now." She says and I follow her, asking Elliot and Gideon to get me as soon as there are any news on Ana.

Before I am allowed to see my daughter, I have to put scrubs on and then I can go into the NICU where I find my daughter in an incubator. Finally when I see her I allow myself to cry... she is perfect... lots of dark curly hair, perfect rosy skin and the same pouty lips her mother has. Reaching to touch her through the hole in the incubator I touch her soft cheek and suddenly she reaches up and wraps her tiny hand around my finger.

"Hey sweetheart, I'm your Daddy... you remember me, I was the one who always sang for you while you where still in your mommy's belly. I can sing for you again." I tell her and sing Somewhere over the rainbow for her. When I stop I see a female doctor by my side.

"Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt you, while you were bonding with your daughter." She says with a smile.

"It's alright. How is my daughter?"

"Perfect. We just want her in the incubator until tomorrow morning. She had some troubles with her body temperature, but seeing the circumstances of her birth I have to say she is doing just fine."

"Good. Thank you Dr..."

"Milton. Can I ask you if you have already picked a name for your daughter?"

"Yes, her name is Aria. Aria Siobhan Grey." I tell her and smile at my daughter. Ana and I fought so often about her middle name, that in the end we decided not to give her one at all. I wanted it to be Grace or Mia, but Ana said both names were already used as middle names of our nieces and she loved Siobhan, which is a name I don't like too much... but now after everything that happened and with the prospect that Aria will be our last child I want her to have the middle name Ana has picked for her.

"That is a beautiful name." The doctor says, quickly checks Aria again and gives me some privacy.

For the next few hours I continue to wait with my family for any news on Ana, which is slowly killing me... why can't they just come out and tell me that she is going to make it. I need to see my wife. See with my own eyes that she is here.

I wish I could go back to the NICU, but it was way after visiting hour when I came to see Aria and my little angel needs to sleep, plus I didn't want to disturb the other babies in the NICU who probably aren't doing as well as my baby.

"Family of Anastasia Grey?" An old looking doctor asks and we all leap to our feet.

"How is Ana... can I see my wife?" I ask immediately and it is all I can do not to grab the good doctor by the collar of his shirt and shake my answers out of him.

"Your wife is in recovery. She flatlined once during surgery, but we were able to bring her back. Sadly, because of the severe blood loss and overall hemorrhaging of her uterus we had no other choice but to perform a hysterectomy on your wife."

"Can I see her... is she going to make it?"

"Your wife is stable at the moment, but she is still in a very serious condition. You can see her in a while when she is moved to the ICU, but not for long and not more than two people at a time."

"Please, don't sugarcoat anything... will my wife survive?" I ask and I know I sound like I am pleading, but I need to know the truth.

"Mr. Grey, all I can say is that your wife is a strong woman, most people who have lost such high amounts of blood die before they make it to the hospital... but your wife didn't and she survived a very complicated surgery. I would like nothing more than to tell you that she is going to make it, but at this point I can't give you an answer to this question. However her chances to make a full recovery rise with every hour she is in stable condition and so far she is."

I nod slowly understanding that he can't give me any more information, so we all wait again until a nurse comes in to bring us to Ana. Carla is still in a very fragile state, so I help her up from the chair in the corner and we follow the nurse to the ICU, where she leads us to Ana's room. When I see her I want to cry again, my beautiful wife is lying in a hospital bed looking so petite and fragile, wires are attached to her everywhere and she is utterly pale.

"Oh darling... my darling." Carla sobs and sits down before she takes Ana's hand in hers.

"She is cold... why is she so cold." Carla continues to sob and I take Ana's other hand and start to rub it between my hands to warm it up.

"It's the blood loss, Carla. Her temperature with normalize over the next few hours." I murmur and touch Ana's face. I can still see some tear tracks on her beautiful face and I try not to think about my wife all alone in the middle of nowhere, having to give birth on her own, all the while knowing that it will probably be the death of her and our daughter.

She must have been so scared... she was when we talked and I couldn't be there for her... couldn't hold her... and tell her that everything is going to be fine.

"I'll never leave you out of sight again, Ana... You'll never have to be scared again." I whisper to her.

"It's not your fault, Christian." Carla says, but I shake my head sadly.

"The woman who kidnapped her was a former... she and I had sex before I met Ana... how can that not be my fault Carla. This is my past coming back to hurt Ana." I say heart broken.

"No, you can't think like that. Your past is just that... it's in the past... you are not responsible for what someone says or does when this person hasn't been in your life for over a decade, darling. Ana needs you to be strong now... if you blame yourself and she sees it, she will use all her strength to make you feel better, but she needs her strength to heal... you need to forgive yourself for your past, Christian... so you can be strong now for your wife and children." Carla continues and I know she is right. I need to be strong for Ana, she needs me to get through this, I can't drown in self pity when my wife needs me.

"Yes, I can do that... for Ana I can do anything."

Ana

I can hear a steady beeping... like a heart monitor. Someone is holding my hand and I fight to open my eyes.

"Ana, baby... can you hear me? Are you awake?" Christian's hushed voice is close to my ear and I slightly squeeze his hand and manage to open my eyes just a bit.

"Hi." I breathe and Christian gives me a huge smile, even though I can see the tears in his eyes.

"Hi, how do you feel... are you in pain?"

"No... no pain... just tired... Aria?"

"She is doing great. Our mothers are with her right now... she was just a little cold when you were brought in, but she is perfectly healthy... and she already peed on me, so we know she is a real Grey." He says and I can't help the tears that start to fall from my eyes.

"Hey don't cry... it's over, you are both safe, Ana." Christian reassures me and gently wipes my tears away.

"I was so scared." I confess.

"I know, baby... but you've been so brave and no one will ever hurt you again. I promise I will do a better job keeping you safe."

"Not your fault... she is crazy." I croak and have to cough, which in turn has pain lancing through my belly.

"It hurts... my belly." I gasp.

"I get a nurse." He says, but I don't let go of his hand, suddenly I am panicked by the thought of being alone.

"Okay, I just push the button." He says sensing my anxiety.

"Water." I croak and he takes a cup from the nightstand and holds the straw to my lips.

"Small sips, baby." He reminds me and I am sure I have never tasted anything this good, even though it's just water.

"You are awake. Hello Mrs. Grey, I am Ashley, your nurse." The middle aged woman introduces herself.

"My wife is in pain, she had to cough and said her belly hurts." Christian tells her and the nurse takes the blanket of me and pushes the hospital gown up.

"The incision looks fine, I can give you something against the pain once the doctor has been here to see you. If you need anything else you let me know." She says.

"Surgery... why?" I ask and Christian and the nurse exchange a strange look.

"I'll tell you later, baby. You need to rest, so you can meet our daughter." He says and I know he is hiding something from me... something isn't right and deep down I know what it is... but I am just not ready to hear it, so I don't ask.

"I'll get the doctor." The nurse says and I nod, but my eyes feel so heavy. I am bone tired and completely exhausted. For a moment I try to stay awake, but then I give up and let sleep take over.


I know some of you won't like the hysterectomy part of this chapter, but keep in mind that they have four healthy and happy children in Sam, Teddy, Phoebe and Aria. Ana had two very difficult deliveries and doctors would have told her not to have more children no matter how the surgery would have turned out...