Just realized I've never done a disclaimer, though it should be obvious, I don't own Uraboku.
8
"You don't have to walk with me. It's fine. I'm not from here but I know the way." Shusei tries to convince the blond to stay. He opens the door to leave and tries to close it before Hotsuma gets out but a hand pushes it open and he walks out. He doesn't bother to lock it.
"Nah, I want to. I don't wanna be cooped up here all day." He starts walking in the direction of the circus, knowing Shusei will follow.
"That's your fault for skipping school." Shusei stays a few paces behind Hotsuma.
"Hmph." He doesn't need Shusei treating him like a parent. He slows down a bit, wanting to keep pace with Shusei, "Jeez, don't you have a change of clothes?"
Shusei is wearing the striped pants, boots, white shirt and black vest. The jacket would have been too much, even in Tokyo, so he carries it over his arm, "Maybe you should have packed me a suitcase when you kidnapped me." He smirks.
"Yeah, yeah…" Hotsuma brushes it off. He never would have imagined Shusei to be so sarcastic, "You're a smartass, you know that."
Shusei laughs.
They walk in silence as they quickly hurry through the busy part of Tokyo. By this time, he knows his way to the cirque well enough, and takes the lead until they make it to the path by the woods. The sounds of Tokyo quickly become muffled by the trees.
"Too noisy…" Shusei sighs.
"Ya think so? How do you handle the crowds then?" Hotsuma doesn't anticipate an answer. Shusei hasn't been very open about his life so far, so why now?
"I dunno. I just…have to."
Hotsuma looks at him through the corner of his eye, studying him, trying to learn more.
Should I ask?
"Hey, Shusei."
"Yeah?"
"How did…it all happen?" Hotsuma really did want to know.
"You mean the cirque?" Shusei knew what he meant. He's sure Hotsuma had been thinking about it for a while.
"Yeah. It all seems so weird. I mean, you should be in school, like me, and hanging out with friends on the weekends. Not traveling town to town like this." He looks back to see Shusei's reaction.
Shusei looks down to avoid his gaze and questions.
Did I…
"Did I say something I shouldn't have?"
"No, it's not that. Actually…" Shusei kept his tone low, even though they were alone and no one else could hear them, "You're the first person to have ever asked."
"What?" Hotsuma is surprised by this, "What about everyone else at the cirque?"
"They all know what Tanaka told them or they just don't ask. Not that I mind, really."
"Oh…" When Shusei doesn't respond, Hotsuma feels bad for having asked in the first place, "It's okay. " He knows one day Shusei will tell him, "You don't have to answer if you don't want to." But really, the curiosity was eating at him.
Shusei smiles, grateful for the concern, "No, it's alright." Shusei picks up his pace so he's next to Hotsuma, "I don't really remember how old I was when I first joined. I was so young…"
"How-" Hotsuma stops when he realizes he interrupted but Shusei told him to ask his question, "How old are you?"
"17."
"Damn! Really?!" Hotsuma surely thought he was the older of the two.
Shusei is amused by Hotsuma's reaction but the amusement doesn't last long and his voice becomes solemn as he goes back to what he was saying, "My parents were-"
Hotsuma nods his head.
"They left me."
Hotsuma stops short for a second. He doesn't know what to say. 'I'm sorry' never seems good enough.
Shusei sees the apologetic look on his face and smiles to ease Hotsuma's worry, "It's okay, you don't have to say anything."
"I'm sorry, I just didn't think-"
"It's fine. Really." Shusei insists.
Hotsuma starts walking again. He knows they aren't too much further from the cirque but wishes this walk could last forever. Shusei's finally opening up about himself, even though he senses the brunet is hiding something important.
"I don't remember much about them, so it's hard to miss them."
"Shusei…" Hotsuma feels bad for making him say all this.
"I had no other family to stay with. And one way or another, Tanaka found me and took me in. I never wanted to go with him but I had no choice. I had nowhere else to go."
Hotsuma slows his pace and Shusei matches it. Hotsuma doesn't feel right to ask any more questions about his past, so he leaves it up to Shusei, if he wants to talk or not. Shusei sighs, taking advantage of the silence.
"Oh yeah!" Hotsuma recalls the banner at the cirque, where he first learned of Shusei's name, "On that banner at the cirque, it had your name as Shusei Tanaka! So, you're not really his son!"
"Oh…you saw that," The fact the blond saw that banner disgusts Shusei, "No, I'm definitely not his son. When he took me in he gave me his last name, so no one outside the circus would ask questions."
"That's good. What a messed up bastard that guy is." Hotsuma was relieved.
"He did save me though." Shusei felt the need to defend Tanaka, though he doesn't know why.
"I guess." Hotsuma still wants to know more, "So you've just been travelin' this whole time. No school or anything?"
"We don't stay in one place for very long. The show is illegal due to the dangers and has no permits or approval to allow us to freely perform. We have to move before we get caught. The longest we stay in one location is about a week. There's no time for school for any of the younger performers. We are too busy honing our acts for much else."
"What can you do?" Hotsuma wonders what hidden talents Shusei possesses.
Shusei smirks, "A lot."
"C'mon! Tell me!"
"Knife throwing and illusions are my strong points. Goro wants me to learn his art, but I refused his offer. For some reason he still wants to train me but…"
"No way! That's cool!" Hotsuma can't picture Shusei doing any of that.
"It's not really." Shusei laughs at Hotsuma's astonishment. He is surprised at how much he enjoys Hotsuma's company. He even forgot all about the cirque or his poor health.
"I wanna see some time." Hotsuma demands.
"Sure." Shusei agrees. It's easier than arguing.
Some time…you're assuming we'll meet again.
It got quiet again, but the silence isn't awkward. They are both able to enjoy each other's company. Even the short time they've known each other doesn't bother them. They're total opposites but fit together perfectly.
"Don't you get sick of it all?" Hotsuma asks absentmindedly. He wonders how anyone can put up with what Shusei has to deal with.
"Yes."
Hotsuma looks over as Shusei answers. The look on Shusei's face breaks his heart and even scares him. Shusei's fake smile is in place, but his eyes were so sad. Lonely. Hurt.
The times when he laughed. Smiled. Joked. It was just a cover. Inside…He's just broken…
Shusei feels Hotsuma's eyes on him and meets his gaze. He smiles, "Thanks for walking with me."
Don't smile. You don't mean it.
"No problem." Hotsuma looks up and sees the outline of tents over the trees, "You sure…you'll be okay?"
"Yeah." Shusei walks into the cirque grounds and spares Hotsuma one last glance, "Thanks again, Hotsuma."
Hotsuma nods. He can't deny he'll miss Shusei. He was easy to talk too. And after having to take care of him, he feels responsible for the brunet.
Don't be an idiot! You've only known him for one day!
Hotsuma tries to rationalize, but he can't fight what he feels.
He'll see Shusei again. He knows he will, "Hey!" He calls out just before Shusei disappears amongst the crowd.
Shusei turns around.
"If you ever…" Hotsuma blushes, "Ya know, if you need anything, ever, you can…ah... Damn it. Stop by sometime if you're ever in Tokyo!"
"Sure thing." Shusei waves.
...
Unfortunately, Shusei doesn't think he will take Hotsuma up on his offer to visit. What's the point of making friends or creating bonds when Shusei knows he will only lose them? It's far too painful to try and Shusei tries hard to remain indifferent and numb to other people kindness.
It's hard though.
He felt comfortable, too comfortable, with Hotsuma. Nobody has ever gone so far as to do what he did for him. He gave him a place to stay, a warm bed. He didn't ask questions or even expect anything in return. Why did Hotsuma do all this? What made him feel he had to?
"There you are!"
All eyes turn to Shusei as he enters the grounds. Most everything is packed and ready to be moved aside from a few tents and props.
"The hell you've been, Shusei?" Steele asked in a hushed tone, "Tanaka's not happy. I don't know what happened to you, but you better explain yourself to Tanaka. Maybe he'll understand."
They both know he won't.
"I know. I'll take care of it." Shusei doesn't know what he'll say, but he's good at improvising.
He walks around, hoping and not hoping, to find Tanaka. He asks a few workers and performers if they had seen him. They all say no, mainly because they try to avoid him.
Regrettably, he does find Tanaka, leaning against a truck, cigar in hand.
"Ah, Shusei. There you are." He says as he taps the cigar, letting ash fall down to his feet, "Let's go somewhere and have a chat."
Shusei marvels at the amount of menace that taints Tanaka's words.
He's in trouble.
...
The day after Shusei left, Hotsuma chose to go to school, hoping it will serve as a distraction. Instead, everything he does is halfheartedly as he can't stop thinking about Shusei.
Hope he's all right.
"You're really off today, Renjou." Kazuki said watching Hotsuma's pathetic attempts and scoring goals at practice.
"Damn…" Hotsuma misses again and picks up another basketball. He throws it and it bounces off the rim of the hoop. He doesn't bother to try again.
"Listen," Kazuki interrupts him, "Why don't you just go home."
A few other teammates nod their heads in agreement.
Hotsuma looks over at Kazuki.
"You probably don't want to be here anyway." He mumbles.
"Hey, Kazuki, that's not it."
"Whatever." He shrugs.
"If it's about the other night, I said I was sorry. Why are you so pissed about it?"
"I just wonder if you really care anymore." Kazuki says sadly.
Hotsuma is taken aback, "What do you mean?"
"You're always dazed and never pay attention in class. It's like you never try to make friends. You always look…well…kind of sad and…"
Hotsuma waits for him to finish.
"Lonely."
Lonely.
"I-" Hotsuma isn't sure of what to say. Maybe he's right. He really doesn't feel like he fits in here. Or anywhere, "I'm sorry." Hotsuma leaves the gymnasium. He doesn't think he'll come to practice anymore.
...
Shusei groans as he picks his head up from leaning on the window of the car.
"Looks like it hurts." Steele says half in sadness and half in amusement to lighten the mood, "Ya'll right?"
Feeling dazed it takes a few seconds for Shusei to answer, "Yeah." Tanaka's scoldings aren't verbal, but physical, and last night he was mad.
"What did you end up telling him?"
"Nothing much." Shusei rubs the side of his head. He opens his jaw slowly and hears it crack.
"Do you wanna see a doctor or something?"
"No." Shusei looks outside the window and still sees Tokyo off in the distance, "Where are we going?"
"Tanaka made a lot of money here. He wants to do another show in Tokyo so we are just moving to another location."
"Tokyo…"
"What? You like Tokyo?" Steele asks, "Well, don't get your hopes up. I doubt Tanaka will let you out of his sight anymore after what happened."
Shusei lets out a groan and rubs his sore jaw.
"Tell ya what, when we get set up, I'll go get some painkillers for you."
"Thanks." Steele pushes Shusei's head to the side, "Just go back to sleep. I'll wake you when we find our new location."
Shusei doesn't argue and just closes his eyes. The hum of the engine soon puts him to sleep.
Tess: I didn't know you were Tegthe! Glad to know another active Uraboku writer is reading my story! Thank you so much, your compliments are too kind! (I'm also keeping an eye out for your story)
Giogiu: Thank you for always leaving a review! I'm happy to know you like this story so far!
Absalon95: Thank you!
Amani96: Aw! I'm glad it made your day!
To everyone else who favs and follows, thank you for your support! *Throws cookies and hugs at you all*
