A/N: Two chapters in two days! I'm baaaaaack ;)
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
The night is winding down at the Espinosa household, and Donna finds herself in the kitchen with Carla, having a final glass of wine for the night. Carla's mother had gone to bed half an hour ago, and her brother Marco had taken off to have a night cap with some friends. That left Carla, Donna, Turk, and Josh. As men seemed inclined to do, Josh and Turk had formed a fast friendship and were currently discussing football in the living room.
"My mom hates him." Carla tells Donna, sounding disappointed but unsurprised.
"She'll come around." Donna comforts her. "Turk's a good guy."
"Marco hates him, too."
"That was bound to happen."
"I guess you're right." Carla sighs. "Anyway, let's not talk about it. Let's talk about Josh."
Donna doesn't make eye contact, blushing slightly as she stares into her wine. "What do you mean?"
"You brought him to Christmas dinner, Donna."
"You said you wanted buffers!"
"Donna."
"Okay." Donna allows. "Okay, it's... We're..."
Carla smirks. "I like the guy, you know. I really do."
"Yeah. He's likable."
"And the two of you seemed very... Close, at dinner."
Donna smiles softly. Dinner had been nice. The palpable tension in Carla's family aside, Donna had enjoyed sitting next to Josh, casually swapping bites of food and muttering little comments to each other as if they'd done this all their lives. It felt... Intimate. Somehow, it seemed almost like a window into the future. "You know, somehow we're just like that. It's not even... We haven't done anything yet. Today was pretty much platonic. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think it was a date, but..."
"You haven't even kissed? Nothing?"
"Nothing." Donna affirms.
"Could've fooled me." Carla casts a surreptitious glance through the doorway at Josh and Turk. "You should get out of here and take that nice man back to your apartment."
Donna snorts. "Trust me, I've been thinking about it."
"Then what's the hold up?"
"I don't know. He might not feel the same way."
"That's one of the stupidest things you've ever said to me."
"Or... I don't know. There's just something off. Maybe not with us, but with him at least. There's something wrong."
"Like... What?"
"I don't know. I'm trying to figure it out. I think he might've been lying about how he cut his hand."
"So what? Men lie about stupid shit all the time. He probably cut it trying to load the dishwasher or something dumb like that."
"I don't know." Donna doesn't sound convinced.
"Well, whatever. That's not your problem. What is your problem is that you two are out here acting engaged and you haven't even hit first base yet."
"You know we're still technically on our first date, right?"
"You're not acting like it."
Donna chuckles. "Message received. You want me out of your house."
"Hey, you said it. Not me."
"Alright." Donna drains the last of her wine. "Good luck with your mom."
"Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah."
"I really think this one's a keeper, Donna."
Donna smiles, tucking her hair behind her ear. "We'll see."
She walks out into the living room, tucking her hands into her back pockets. "Josh? You ready to go?"
Josh looks up at her with an easy smile. Being around people had seemed to bring out the funny, charming side of him she knew well. "Sure thing."
He downs the last sip of his beer and sets the bottle on the table. "Good meeting you, man."
"You too." Turk shakes his hand.
"Good luck with..." Josh gestures upstairs to where Carla's mother is. "All that."
Turk winces. "Thanks man."
"Thanks for having me, Carla."
"Course, gunshot. Anytime." Carla says slyly. She approaches him for a brief hug. "Drive safe, you two."
"Thanks."
They collect their coats from the hall and step out into the night, which is even colder than when they arrived. Donna shivers, folding her arms as they make their way down the front steps. Reflexively, Josh puts his hand on her back.
"You have a good time?" She asks.
"Yeah." He shoots her a grin. "Good food. Good people."
"Yeah. They all seemed to like you. Hell, even Marco."
"I've been told I'm rather charming."
"Mm." Donna hums her agreement. He unlocks his car and she feels her nerves growing. How's this night going to end?
He feels it too. A thick tension descends in the car as they close their doors. Partially to mitigate this, and partially due to the freezing temperatures, he turns the car on and puts the heat on full blast. "You, uh... Want me to take you back to your apartment, then?"
"Um, ok." She supposes she can deal with whether or not to invite him up when they get there. "Or... Actually, I haven't seen your apartment."
She frowns. That was not smooth at all.
He looks uncomfortable, and her stomach immediately tenses. "Oh, uh... It's not much."
"Neither's mine, but I still let you see it. It's only fair." Great, now she's getting defensive. That's super attractive.
"Uh... It's kind of out of the way." He says reluctantly.
"Where do you live again?"
"Georgetown." He says, increasing tension in his voice.
"Oh well that's not too bad. It's not like it's much of a drive from mine, which is-"
"No." He snaps suddenly. "No, we're not doing that."
She feels a sudden flash of hot embarrassment. She supposes she'd prodded him, but... Wow. She swallows painfully. "I'm sorry, I..."
Josh immediately looks regretful. He sighs, slumping back in his seat. He takes his hands off the wheels and twists them listlessly in his lap. "No, Donna, I'm sorry, it's just-"
"No, you don't have to say anything, it's-"
"There's a broken window in my apartment."
"There's...what?" She asks, confused.
"There's a broken window." He says again, each word seeming to cause him pain. He shoots her one furtive glance. "I... Honestly I haven't even cleaned up the glass. It's cold as all hell in there, and... Trust me. You don't want to go there."
"Josh." She says softly. She turns to him hesitantly. "What happened?" She asks, though she has a guess.
He holds up his bandaged. "I, uh... I happened." He attempts a twisted smile.
She breathes out slowly. "Oh."
"I... I'm sorry, I didn't want you to think I was crazy."
"I don't think you're crazy."
He closes his eyes. "I'm sorry."
"Please stop saying that."
"I didn't mean to snap just then."
"It's okay."
"I wasn't... I'm trying to..."
"Josh, it's okay. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."
"I want to tell you. I'm trying to tell you."
She sees him physically struggling to find the words, and on a whim, she reaches out and gently places her hand on the back of his neck, just grazing the curls there. "Hey, take your time. Why don't we go back to my apartment and we can talk there, okay? I'll make some coffee..."
He smiles slightly, and leans back into her touch. "That sounds good."
"Okay. You good to drive?"
"Yeah."
"You want any music on?" She asks as he puts the car in gear, pulling her hand away from his neck to hover in front of the stereo.
He falters. "Would it be okay if we just... Let it be quiet, for a while?"
"Sure." She says easily. She settles her hand on his knee, not feeling right without touching him. "Sure."
They arrive at her apartment not long after, and walk in hand in hand. She gives him a smile as she heads into the kitchen to put a pot of coffee on, and he shrugs out of his coat.
Eventually, he follows her into the kitchen and leans against the counter, arms folded. He watches her moving around, his eyes glowing softly. "Hey, thanks for today."
"Of course." She turns the coffee maker on and goes to stand next to him.
"I, um... I was diagnosed with PTSD yesterday." He says without preamble.
She neutralizes her expression and simply says, "Okay."
"I didn't want to accept it. Last night I was... I was in bad shape when you saw me."
"I could tell."
"I don't know how it started. Suddenly I just couldn't stop... Living it. I couldn't stop feeling it. And I tried. I tried so hard."
"Yeah." She moves closer to him, pressing her arm against his. He stares at the floor, but leans into her slightly.
"I guess it started to become noticeable. I wasn't sleeping. I was running on autopilot. There were some... Incidents. I guess my friends started getting worried."
"They care about you."
"Yeah, it was... It was understandable in hindsight. They made me sit down with a guy. But that was after... By then, I'd already put my hand through a window. Hell, I'd already blown up in the Oval."
"The... Oval Office?" This is the first thing he'd told her that truly catches her off guard.
"I, um... I yelled at the President."
"Of... The United States... Of America."
A slight smile tugs at his lips. "I know. It was really bad."
"You've still got a job?"
"He's a good man, President Bartlet. And Leo..."
"He'd do anything for you."
"Yeah." Josh agrees softly. "He, um... He understood."
"I'm glad you had someone like that."
"I wasn't... I wasn't fully conscious when I did those things. Yelling at the president. Putting my hand through the window. I don't really remember most of it. I just remember what was going on in my head. My chest..." He struggles to explain. "I don't know. It was..."
"Sounds scary."
He dips his head. "I guess."
"I'm sorry you've been going through that, Josh."
"You don't seem surprised." He notices.
She smiles slightly. "You know that I'm a trauma surgeon, right?"
"Well... Yeah."
"Though not all of them necessarily follow up with me, I'm well versed in the probability of PTSD in my trauma victims. In fact, I'm pretty sure I sent you home with some literature on PTSD. Warning signs, therapist referrals."
He turns and looks at her blankly. "You...did?"
"Uh huh."
He smiles a little. "I feel like an idiot."
"It's okay. I'm sure most people don't read it."
"So... You don't think I'm crazy?"
"Not even a little." She nudges him with her arm and stands up off the counter. "Coffee?"
He furrows his brow, still thinking. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure."
"You're not crazy, Josh. With the proper treatment, I fully believe you can manage this. Loads of people do. Of course, knowing you, and your general resistance to being treated for anything-"
He waves a hand. "I'll... I'll go. I'll go to therapy. Seriously. I'll do the work this time."
"You did it last time." She reminds him. She gives him a winning smile. "You just needed a little encouragement."
"So you'll take me on a date every time I go to therapy?"
She hands him his coffee, glad to see he's flirting with her again. "Sure."
"Well then." He clinks his mug against hers. "Mental stability, here I come."
She laughs. "Glad to be of service."
He gives her a serious look. "I was serious earlier Donna. I want to thank you for today. It really... Helped."
His warm brown eyes gazing deeply into hers makes her feel slightly short of breath. "I'm glad."
"You always do, you know. Don't know what I would've done without you in that hospital."
She's definitely heating up. She gazes shyly at the floor. "It goes both ways. You were my favorite patient, you know. Certainly made a lot of long days better."
He grins. "I try."
She falters. "Do you wanna, um... Watch TV, or something?"
He considers this. "No."
"A movie?"
"No."
She smiles, flustered. "Okay, well what, a board game?"
"Nope." He's still grinning.
She makes a little gesture of incredulity. "So what, you just want to leave, or-"
He interrupts her by grabbing her chin in one hand and gently pressing his lips to hers. After a moment, he smiles against her mouth. "No." He mutters.
She's stunned into inaction for a moment. Her heart is definitely doing somersaults. "Oh. Okay. We could do that, too."
He gently eases her coffee mug out of her hand and sets both mugs on her counter before returning to stand directly in front of her, only an inch away. "Okay."
Unable to resist his maddening smile any longer, she makes the move this time and grabs him firmly by his sweater, pulling him toward her and sealing her mouth against his. Lacking the sweet hesitancy of a moment prior, she kisses him intensely, and he responds in kind, pushing her back against the countertop and allowing his hands to stray to her waist, her hair, her neck. Breathless and eager, she tangles both hers in his hair, barely taking the time to think about how this is somehow even better than she'd thought it would be - and she hadn't come in with low expectations.
He pulls back for a moment, both breathing heavily. In an instant, he lifts her atop the counter, making her gasp, and then redirects his attention to her neck. She inhales sharply as his teeth barely graze her neck. She wraps her arms around him, pulling him to her as tightly as she can. She squeezes her eyes shut, feeling his hands start to play with her waistband and the bottom hem of her sweater.
He hesitates, and she opens her eyes to find him gazing up at her with wide eyes. He gives her sweater a little tug. "Is this okay?"
She melts. "More than okay."
He pulls off her sweater and shirt in one go, and then stares at her in amazement for a few seconds. He bites his bottom lip and says "Fuck," which is somehow both the sweetest and hottest thing she's ever seen.
She grins. "Your turn." She starts pulling at his sweater, and he assists her in getting it over his head. She gazes at him warmly, and reaches out to gently trace a hand over his scar. It was practically healed last time she saw him, and now it looks completely natural. She can't seem to stop herself from saying, "I told Carla the abs wouldn't be gone for long."
He furrows his brow. "What?"
"It's just, during your recovery, I kept talking about... You know what? Never mind."
He looks deeply amused. "You talked to Carla about... My abs?"
"Hey, remember how we were making out a second ago? Let's go back to that."
He shrugs. "Whatever you say."
A few minutes later, it's clear they're both getting worked up. He's definitely not the only one thinking it when he pulls back and manages to gasp out, "Bedroom?"
She bites her lip, which certainly doesn't help matters. "Are you sure? It's okay if you're not feeling-"
She's barely begun to articulate the sentiment before he's cutting her off with a deep kiss. "I'm sure." He kisses her again. "I'm sure."
She smiles, sliding off the counter and practically onto him. He backs up, allowing her feet to hit the floor. She grabs his hand. "Bedroom's this way."
They're starting to drift off when Donna suddenly remembers that she has a nine o'clock shift the next day. Hoping not to disturb Josh, she cautiously stretches toward her alarm clock, which is difficult given that his arms are around her.
Proving he's not yet asleep, Josh gently kisses her shoulder before releasing his hold on her, letting her grab her clock.
"Work tomorrow?"
"At nine."
"Hm. Do you want me to, uh... Get out of your hair?" He tries not to sound too reluctant.
"No! No, of course not." She says, perhaps a little too eagerly. She settles back down against him, her head on his chest. "Please stay. You can sleep in, even if I have to get up."
"I'll be up." He says easily.
"In fact... If you wanted to stay here, you know, until your window gets fixed..."
He stiffens. "Oh. Um..."
"That's too much, isn't it? I'm sorry. It's too much. We've been on one date."
"Donna-"
"I just thought-"
"Donna, it's not too much." He says gently, running a hand through her hair. "I just... Wouldn't want to put you out."
"You wouldn't be. Seriously."
He smiles softly. "Thanks for the offer."
"Yeah, of course."
"I'll think about it, how's that?"
She reaches out to thread their fingers together. "Yeah. Sounds good."
That night, Josh sleeps soundly for the first time in months - but not for the last.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
Cuties :')
I hope you guys liked this chapter as much as I did! Stay tuned for more updates!
