Gorilla
"Ugh!" Sam groaned as she slammed the door of the Shay's apartment.
"Well hello to you too," Carly said, looking up from her textbook. Her and Freddie had been sitting on the couch studying.
"What's wrong?" Freddie asked his girlfriend, concerned.
"You got any ham?" Sam snapped, ignoring him.
"Um, yeah, in the fridge, second shelf," Carly nodded.
"I can't believe this!" Sam said angrily, grabbing her ham and sitting down next to the other two. "This is the worst thing that could possibly happen to a person!"
"What is?" Freddie asked again. "Come on, you can tell us."
"I have to go to some big fancy dinner," Sam mutter, chewing her ham furiously.
Carly and Freddie exchanged glances.
"Yup," Carly sighed. "That's just about the worst thing that could happen to you, Sam. Right up there with getting attacked by a shark and finding a hobo in your closet."
"Why are you so upset about having to go to some fancy dinner?" Freddie questioned. "You love dinner! It's your second favorite meal of the day, right after third lunch!"
"Because," Sam explained. "It's with a bunch of prissy girls who I hate."
"What's this dinner for?" Carly frowned.
"It's for all the teen beauty pageant winners in Washington," Sam sighed. "And I've got to go represent Seattle since I was the winner in that one pageant last year."
"Wait, what beauty pageant?" Freddie frowned. "You were in a beauty pageant? Where the heck was I?"
"You were at home, playing some headband game with Spencer," Carly told him. "Remember? We came home and showed you Sam in her crown, but you two were too wrapped up in your game to even look. And then Sam refused to ever speak of it again after that."
"So my girlfriend was in a beauty pageant and won," Freddie said slowly. "And I wasn't even there to see it?"
"Pretty much," Carly nodded.
"Oh come on!" Freddie said angrily, slamming his textbook shut. "Is the universe punishing me for something?"
"We weren't even dating then," Sam said, rolling her eyes.
"You think I can find this pageant online?" Freddie asked, grabbing his laptop, ignoring Sam's last comment. "Or maybe I could find the names of some of the people in the audience and track them down to see if maybe one of them recorded it? Or I can try hacking into whatever channel broadcasted it and go through all its past video files!"
"Okay then," Carly said as Freddie began to type away at his laptop. She turned back to Sam. "So you have to go to some dinner with a bunch of prissy girls? You can handle that! Just go there, eat the food, eat the food, and call it a day!"
"It's a long dinner, Carls," Sam said. "We have to listen to a bunch of people talk about how apparently winning beauty pageants is helping change the world for the children. Plus I have to get all dolled up, and I have to find a date-"
"Well you won't have any trouble with that," Carly smiled. "You have a boyfriend right here who probably won't look up from his computer until he finds that video of you at the pageant." She moved closed to Freddie and whispered, "By the way, I have the whole thing on my Pear phone…"
"Carly!" Sam exclaimed.
Carly ignored Sam and turned back to Freddie. "Anyway, you'd go with Sam to this dinner as her date, right?"
"Um, shoosh yes," Freddie nodded.
"I was just gonna call in sick," Sam moaned.
"Come on, it will be fun," Freddie said, putting his arm around her. He turned back to Carly. "You are sending me that video, right?"
"Already done," Carly smiled.
"But it's on the day of the new gorilla exhibit at the zoo!" Sam said. "I wanted to see that!"
"Sam, remember how hard you worked at that pageant?" Carly reasoned with her. "You walked around in heels and uncomfortable dresses for hours, and then you did that really cool dance-"
"You danced in this?" Freddie exclaimed, his eyes widening.
"Shut up!" Sam snapped.
"And you wound up doing what you wanted to do there," Carly continued. "You beat Leanne Carter and kept her from winning 100 straight pageants! You should be so proud of yourself. It would be a shame for you not to go to this dinner and own what you did."
"I was pretty awesome…" Sam said thoughtfully.
"Plus it will be like a free romantic date for us," Freddie added.
"And those places usually have good food," Sam said. "Okay…I'll go."
"Good for you, Sam," Freddie said, kissing her. He got to his feet. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have me a video to watch."
…
"Whoa, this place is huge!" Freddie commented as him and Sam walked into the ballroom of the Parker Nicholas hotel, where the pageant dinner was being held.
"Yeah, so maybe they won't notice if we sneak out," Sam mumbled.
"Sam," Freddie said, taking her hand. "This is your special night. Besides, you look way too hot to let it all go to waste."
Sam, with the help of Carly, of course, had dressed herself in light blue halter dress that stopped just above her knees. She had paired it with a pair of silver heels and Carly had put her hair up high for her.
"I do look good…" Sam said. "Okay, fine, we'll stay. But if they try to give me some vegetarian meal for dinner, we're out of here, got it?"
"Deal," Freddie said.
The couple walked over to their table and sat down where they saw their name cards.
Suddenly, they heard a cry from behind them. "Oh my God! Sam!"
They turned around and saw a tall blonde girl running over to the table.
"Aw crab," Sam mumbled.
"Sam!" the girl cried again, reaching the table. "It's so good to see you again!"
"Um yeah, you too, Alana," Sam said, cringing. "Uh, Freddie? This is Alana. She and I used to compete together when we were younger. Alana, this is my boyfriend, Freddie."
"A boyfriend?" Alana grinned. "He's cute, Sam. Good work!"
"Thank you?" Freddie frowned, shaking the girl's hair.
"Anyway," Alana continued, turning back to Sam. "Have you seen Hilary's dress tonight? She's totally trying to hard; and she can't pull of that shade of white with that fake tan she has, am I right?"
"Sure, whatever," Sam said, rolling her eyes.
"Hilary! Hi! How are you? I love your dress!" Alana said, apparently losing interest in Sam and running off.
"Well, I see why you hate pageant girls," Freddie said, shaking his head.
"They're all total prisses who only care about hairspray and pantyhose," Sam muttered. "They're all awful!"
"Not all of them," Freddie said. "I happen to know one pageant girl who's fun, awesome, crazy, and pretty much just all-around perfect. And I happen to be dating her."
"Aw, how long did it take you to think that one up?" Sam grinned, but she was blushing anyway. She tilted her head up to give her boyfriend a long kiss. "But," she said once they broke apart. "Call me a pageant girl again and I'll slap you so hard you'll think you're one, got it?"
"Got it," Freddie said.
