Sorry guys. Adulting has gotten me all types of fucked up. But I do think of this story almost every day
Without further delay- the next installment of Virginity Gone
Cody sighed. He gnawed at his lip all morning thinking about the talent show. Today was the last day to sign up and he was really thinking about it.
Here he was. In front of the sign up sheet. Hands in his pockets as he stared.
"Oh for the love of jeebus," Phil groaned from somewhere behind him. Cody looked back and saw his friend slumped against the hallway wall next to him. Phil's face looked one of pure agony. "Will you just put your name down already? You've been staring at the thing for 10 minutes now. We just might be the last kids left in the building."
Cody gave his best friend a sneer, but realized, as he went back to looking at the paper, that he had been standing there a long time after wrestling practice. But he couldn't help it. He wasn't sure if he wanted it to be public knowledge that he was a dancer.
He wasn't even sure if he wanted to dance solo or not. And who the hell would he dance with if he didn't go solo?
This was agonizing.
Phil gave a big groan and grabbed a pen from his pocket. He shoved Cody out of the way and scrawled a name on the sheet.
Cody looked over Phil's shoulder and then glared at him. "What the fuck, man."
"What?" Phil shrugged. "You know you were going to sign. I just made the process a little faster."
The dancer gave a soul wrenching sigh. "Now I actually have to go through with it."
The two boys started their walk home, back down the long hallway, Cody with a pout on his face. Phil just smirked but kept quiet. He knew his friend would do great on the stage of the talent show, whether he realized it or not. Cody was an amazing dancer and got really into the act, he relayed the emotions of what he was doing so well, even Phil could feel them when he watched.
As they exited the school's main doors and walked down the parking lot, they heard joyous laughter. Near the curb stood Evan and John still talking after practice. Cody tilted his head a little as he studied them. John was leaning back on his heels, arms folded in front of his defined chest. Evan was smiling up at the taller teen, a special look on his face.
Hm? Was Evan gay? Cody rolled his eyes at his own train of thought. Probably not. Evan seemed straight enough. John, on the other hand ... the way he was constantly staring at Evan during wrestling practice gave Cody a solid impression on his gay-dar.
It was interesting looking at them talk though. Like if you watched them long enough you'd see the future. They had something about them, or at least they were building on something. But for all Cody knew he could just be reading a forming friendship as something more.
Either way, Cody and Phil just walked passed them, waving a goodbye, and went on their way.
John nodded his farewell at the guys. He had a lot of respect for Phil especially. The guy was one of a kind, but he was also a kind heart... well to whoever he deemed okay enough to receive his respect.
Then he looked back at Evan. "Need a ride home?"
John was sort of hoping he would be able to spend a little more time with the bright light that was Evan. He was absolutely enthralled by the kid. He was smart and beautiful. He had such a great personality, though a bit dramatic at times. John liked his laugh most of all. It was a laugh that came from deep inside. A true happy sound.
Evan shook his head slightly but grinned up at John. "Thanks, but I'm going to see if Randy wants to hang out. You guys aren't studying tonight, right?"
"Nope. I have work later so I can't do it tonight."
"Oh cool," Evan said. "Well, not cool that you have work. That sucks."
John laughed, "I know what you meant."
Evan looked around for something to say before just deciding on, "Well, see you tomorrow."
John nodded with a dimpled smile and waved him off as the kid started walking the opposite direction of John's car.
He sighed to himself. A part of him wished he wasn't falling as hard as he was for both Randy and Evan. It'd probably be easier for him if it had only been one of them. But the both. Crushing on two people at once is hard. When you're not thinking of one you're thinking of the other. That's really hard to manage with school and work and football and wrestling.
John was so busy falling in love with two freshmen he barely had time to think about himself.
Not that he minded though.
Thinking of those two sweet boys was a highlight of his day. It kept him company when class was boring or he had no homework to do so he mindlessly played video games.
John drove to Truth's house before work, not in the mood to go home and listen to his brat little brothers argue.
Truth was home alone around this time, his mom out at work until late at night. He was just chilling out flipping through channels when John got there.
They settled on sports center, watching the recaps from last night's Patriots game. John defended his home team to Truth's criticism. Their conversation veered off to their game this weekend and how they were hoping for a big win after they lost the other day.
Truth then got a text message that Teddy was outside. John laughed. "Why didn't he just ring the bell?" Truth shrugged. He got up to unlock the door for their rich friend.
Teddy came in frustrated. He slumped on the couch next to John in a huff. His jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed.
"The fuck happened to you?" John asked, eating from the cheez-it's box that Truth had brought out earlier.
Truth raised an eyebrow at Teddy and lifted his index finger in front of his face, pointing ever so slightly at Teddy, like he had an idea. "Let me guess? You found out your rich daddy took you off the inheritance for being a bitch?"
John nearly choked with his mouth full of cheez-its. He held out his fist for Truth to bump while he took a swig of his soda.
Teddy glared at the both of them. "No, fucker." he blew a hot breath out, irritated a little more now that he had his friends cracking jokes. "No, I was with Maryse earlier and she snaps out of no where while we're sitting at my house making out. Starts screaming at me about how I always gloat that I have money but I never buy her anything special!" Teddy threw his hands in the air, completely out of ideas. "I bought her a damn necklace from Tiffany's last month. What the hell else does she want? A gold cast of my balls on a plate?"
Both Truth and John made a face that held a mixture of disgust and fear.
"I'm fucking done," Teddy said. "I have no clue what she wants from me. And when she gets really mad she starts talking in French. Who the fuck speaks french?"
"People from France?" Truth smirked.
"I took a 2 years of French back in Mass," John muttered.
Teddy glared at them. "Not the point."
John looked back at Truth and sighed. "I give him one day before he's calling Maryse and apologizing."
"One day? I give his ass 2 hours," responded Truth. "I give him two hours before he's calling her and saying 'I'm sorry pookie face, you're teddy bear loves you.'"
John fell back into the couch laughing at Truth's spot on impression of Teddy's apologizing act.
Teddy flipped them off. "You guys are making bets now? Like the freshmeat?"
Truth shrugged. "It's fun. You should try it. But because your rich you can only bet hundreds. That way when you're most likely gonna lose the bet I can make a profit."
Teddy sighed through his nose. "Whatever. Let's go out and chill tonight."
"Sorry man I have work in an hour," John said.
Truth replied the same.
Teddy got up and made a pissed off face. "Yeah. Okay. I'll find something to do."
"That kid, man," Truth sighed after Teddy left his house. "Every time him and Maryse fight over stupid shit he can't be alone. He's got to be with other people. So needy."
"You'd think a guy raised by a nanny until he was ten would be independent."
Cody was in his room doing his homework when he got a text. He assumed it was Phil, but when he checked his phone he saw it was Teddy.
He stared at the phone in his hands for a second, nervously not knowing what to do. He got up from where had been sitting on the carpeted floor and sat up on his bed, feet flat on the floor. And then he folded on foot underneath him. And then reversed that decision and brought his leg straight again.
Finally feeling ready to read the text from his childhood friend/unrequited crush, he slid up his screen and opened his messages.
Hey man, wanna come to my house? Got the Mortal Kombat that came out this year
Cody bit his lip to hold back that happy squeal. He fell back on to the bed and looked at the phone's screen.
A chance to hang out with Teddy. And since there were video games involved, Maryse was likely not there. She never was if Teddy was playing video games.
Cody felt like his heart was going to explode. He hadn't spent time with Teddy alone in a long time.
Sure sounds cool, Cody replied as nonchalantly as possible.
He got up in a hurry, and changed out of his ratty t-shirt and basketball shorts and changed into a nicer pair of jeans and fitted t-shirt. He had to look good. Not that Teddy would notice. Well, Cody hoped he did notice. He hoped Teddy noticed and liked what he saw.
Cody grabbed a zip up hoodie, his phone, IPod, and keys before walking down from his room. His older brother, Dustin, was just getting in the door, his book bag hanging off one shoulder.
"Hey, man," Dustin said, dropping his bag on the floor near the door. "Where you off to in a hurry?"
"Gonna hang out with Teddy," Cody said with a smile. He and his brother weren't really as close as they could be, but Cody knew it was best to keep it civil.
Dustin nodded and patted Cody on the shoulder, then walked into the living room. "Have fun. Don't forget to leave a note for dad, though."
Cody practically jogged into the kitchen and scrawled a quick note on the white board on the fridge. It took one second for him to cap the dry erase marker and run out the door. He walked the 15 minutes to Teddy's mansion, listening to some R&B classics on his IPod.
Teddy buzzed Cody in and the younger man came in and met the young master of the house in the game room laying in a recliner. Teddy was wearing a pair of grey sweat pants, hanging dangerously low and a camo long-sleeve t-shirt, apparently not caring one bit about how he was dressed.
Teddy grinned up at Cody, who's face was flushed from walking in the early November air (and from seeing a small strip of Teddy's flat tummy).
Cody took off his sweater and sat on the floor infront of the leather couch. He stretched hoping to catch Teddy's eye, but to no avail.
He was handed a controller and they began playing without much conversation.
They had done this plenty of times over the years. Their fathers had been friends. So they had been close enough growing up to periodically hang out. Maybe that's why Cody grew so attached to Teddy. When you're around a beautiful all American boy, you tend to fall for him, no matter how hard you try.
It's not like Cody was only ever attracted to Teddy, though. He was very much gay, not just for one man. But Teddy had stolen his heart.
"I could really go for a milkshake right now," Teddy muttered aimlessly. He said it more as a thought than an actual part of a conversation.
Cody looked up from where he sat and gave the Dibiase boy an amused look. "Well, I can help you with that," Cody winked.
Teddy snorted. "Gross man," he laughed. "Now I'll never want a milkshake ever again."
"You're welcome," Cody replied.
Cody always flirted with Teddy. They always shared those small sexual comments that obviously meant nothing to Teddy. For Teddy it was all a joke. He never thought Cody had the hots for him, just poking fun. It hurt Cody, truth be told. Cody had feelings for the elder man, but he had to hide it because A) Teddy was in a relationship and B) Cody would never have a chance with his unrequited love.
They were just a pair of bros. Nothing more. Possibly less.
It's not like Cody didn't notice the fact that Teddy only called him up when no one else would entertain his easily bored mind. Teddy always needed someone to be around him. So if Maryse was busy or if they were fighting and if the other senior boys couldn't come out to play, Cody was always there for the rescue.
Cody wondered sometimes if one day he refused the invite, would Teddy even care?
Probably not.
And God, did that hurt Cody the most.
He meant nothing to the man he loved.
After about an hour of playing video games and munching on junk food, Teddy got a text. His eyebrow cocked at his phone, quickly reading the message before pressing his finger to the call button near him on the wall. Cody just watched. Someone had texted him that they were outside, obviously. But who?
But really, did Cody have to guess that much? Nope.
Maryse walked in, eyes sad and her hands idly picking at each other. She was the picture of worry.
Cody wasn't sure whether to feel pissed that she showed up and ruined his time with Teddy, or feel sad for her.
"Oh, Teddy, I'm so sorry. I hate fighting with you," she cried.
Teddy got up as quick as he could and went to her. He hugged her close and kissed her forehead. "It's okay. We both over reacted. I'm sorry too. Let me make it up to you?"
Cody wanted to barf. He got up, made sure he had everything he needed. "I'll go."
As he left he was very sure they didn't hear him.
Randy groaned. And this time around, it wasn't from jerking off in the shower. No it was the homework. He hated homework.
Especially math homework.
It was unnecessarily complicated and Randy was still trying to grasp the basic concepts of algebra. And without help from his tutor/upperclassman John, he was struggling.
He would have gone out with Evan. But he was grounded for two days because he accidentally said "fuck that shit" in front of his mom yesterday. So he was stuck in his room. No cell. No laptop. No game counsels. Just homework and his mom's Metallica CD. At least his mom had good music taste and let him borrow it sometimes.
It was him, one CD, homework he'll probably never do, and his thoughts.
His thoughts.
They were so scattered lately. One second he was agonizing about the way his hair looked and the next he was musing on how John's smile was dazzling. John smile reminded him of Evan's. It was very different to say the least. But they both had one thing in common, their smiles reached their eyes. It was a wonderful sight.
But there was something about Evan's smile. Well, for one, it was more like a grin than a simple smile. It was this broad, in your face, face splitting grin that could brighten a dark room. And it practically melted Randy every time he witnessed it.
Randy wasn't sure how he felt anymore.
Most days he wanted to punch a wall out of frustration. He would tell himself over and over again that he wasn't no damn faggot. He was a normal healthy all-American boy.
Other days, he took a deep breath, sat alone with his thoughts while mindlessly playing video games or watching whatever crap was on tv lately. And he would let himself wonder if he was gay. Was he? Or was it just Evan? But he thought John was hot. And He kind of was checking out this kid in the hallway the other day who had the booty. But he still wasn't sure. He had no way to really confirm it. He had had a girlfriend before. But let's be real. Randy couldn't stand being with her and much more preferred the company of other people.
It was mind-boggling. Randy couldn't figure himself out. And there was no one to ask. He didn't know anyone who was gay and out. And he was afraid to look anything up on his computer because 1) his mom had a block on some sites and 2) he was deathly afraid someone would catch him looking stuff up.
Because how bad would it look if someone caught Randy reading up on Am I gay? or Do I like dudes?
This was ridiculous. Randy groaned again.
He was going insane. He couldn't relax. He had so many thoughts whirling around in his head. He really wished he knew someone to talk to about this.
And then Randy remembered.
That gay pride flag in Cena's room.
So if Cena was an ally maybe that meant Cena knew someone who was gay, or bi, or lesbian, or someone who could just talk with Orton for a little and help him understand how he's feeling. Because maybe he's not gay. Maybe he's just in a stage?
Problem is, he would have to tell Cena about all this.
And how the fuck would Cena even react?
John Cena seemed like a reasonable man. But maybe he would feel uncomfortable knowing that Randy was maybe playing for the other team... Randy narrowed his eyes. Was that how the metaphor went? Fuck it. He was too bored to care about the details.
He needed stress relief.
He wasn't getting anywhere with the homework.
Or his possible attraction to men.
So what was a bored boy to do in a time like this?
Stephan was comfortably sitting on his couch watching Ireland go against Germany.
The game was alright so far. Both teams hadn't scored yet and the end of the first half was drawing close. And even though Stephan really wanted to watch this game, his mind was elsewhere.
As always when he watched footie, he was reminded of his father.
It had only been about 4 years, but his passing still weighed so much on Stephan's mind.
That had been his dad. It had been his best friend. His biggest fan.
When Stephan was growing up, his dad had been there for everything. He had taught him how to kick a ball. He had given Stephan his first beer. His father was a funny and caring man. He put his friends and family before his own well-being no matter what. He was the kind fo man who would give the shirt off his back. But then he got in that accident.
Stephan recalled very well sitting in the hospital beside his father's bed and hoping the man would wake up soon and the whole nightmare would be put behind him. Stephan prayed day in and day out that his father would wake up from that coma.
But he never did.
And the last memory Stephan had was watching a league game. It had been late and his dad told him to get to bed or else he'd be tired at school the next day. Stephan had gone to bed, woken the next day, gone to school, and was abruptly dismissed by his mother. He had never heard his father talk again. He never saw his father's blue eyes open again.
So now everytime Stephan watched a game, he was transported back in time. To a time he still lived in Ireland. A time he had a happy family.
His mom was still shattered. Sometimes Stephan catches her praying to his father. She cries in bed at night, Stephan can hear her. She misses the love her life. She misses her best friend. But she wakes up every day and takes care of Stephan the best she can. She's a strong woman. And she makes sure Stephan is happy.
Most days, Stephan thinks about his father. What his father would say about this or that. Other days, Stephan hopes he becomes as great a man as his father was.
His father is the reason Stephan is the caring man he is. He is the reason that Stephan is protective of his friends and family. Because he can't bear to lose another person in his life. So stephan will take care of them. He will love them. And talk to them when they need it. They need only ask.
Mike shuffled around on his feet as he waited for Stephan to open his door. It was a reasonably chilly early-November day. Mike wasn't sure why he decided against taking a jacket with him, like his mom had suggested before he ran out the house earlier. But here he was, freezing, while his best friend took a damn near year to open the stupid door.
"Fella," Stephan said as he let Mike in finally.
They went to the living room where the soccer game was still playing, but now Germany was winning, 2-0.
"If your team ever wore underpants under their kilts they'd probably win sometimes," Mike said with a smirk.
Stephan knocked him one upside the head. "I'm from Ireland not Scotland you idiot."
Mike laughed a little. He watched one of the German players curse a bad call. "he looks pissed off."
Stephan smirked. "He's German. He's always pissed off. I'd be pissed off too if I were German."
They settled down, watching the game for a few minutes, before Stephan sighed. "What brings you over today?"
"So I can't just visit my best friend out of the blue, uninvited?" Mike asked with a smirk on his cocky face.
"Not really Adele, no," Stephan replied.
"Okay so," Mike started, running a hand through his hair. "I really fucked up with Mel."
Stephan nodded. He should have known this would be the topic of conversation. It usually was.
"But I was drunk. And she was flirting with that other guy," Mike tried to defend himself. He rolled his eyes when Stephan gave him a look. "Shut up. ...Look I know that doesn't give me any right to call her a prostitute, but she's been hanging out with that skank and it's almost like she's becoming a carbon copy of her. Melena is amazing without any of that make up and short skirt bullshit."
"I agree. But I'm very sure you never told her that," Stephan said. "You never let her know that she's perfect the way she is and that she didn't need to change. Actually, instead you just kept taking shots at her."
Mike puffed in aggitation. "News flash, I apparently don't know how to flirt."
Stephan shook his head with a deep chuckle. "Dumbass."
Mike put his head in his hands and groaned. "What am I going to do?"
Stephan clapped a hand on his shoulder. "I don't know fella, but it better be something good. Make her feel like a princess."
This was absolutely ridiculous.
Randy was a teenage boy for God's sake. He should find it super easy to masterbate to any image.
But no matter how hard he tried, picturing the hottest woman ever, naked on his bed, was not cutting it out for him.
Which of course was making him panic.
This was scaring him. Randy was almost proving to himself that he was gay. And he didn't want that.
He just wanted this to all be a phase. But this little experiment was pushing him to another conclusion.
Randy stopped his hand. He laid back on his bed and just felt defeated.
Was Randy actually gay?
He had to talk to someone about this, soon. Before he drove himself insane.
Cody held back his tears as much as he could. But that lump in his throat was getting intense.
He shuffled down the main road of their town, as fast as his well sculpted legs let him.
Honestly, he just couldn't bare it. He was forgotten the minute Maryse came in. The boy he loved didn't even care. He didn't even notice him. Cody was nothing to him.
He didn't realize he had ran to Phil's house until he rounded the corner. He opened the window on the side of the house and climbed through, landing on Phil's bed, where the punk dressed boy looked up at him, unsuprised.
Cody sniffled.
Phil raised an eyebrow.
The younger boy couldn't look up as tears finally ran down his cheeks. "I was at Teddy's because he called me to hang out. But the minute Maryse got there, he completely forgot about me. ...Like I'm not even important," He mumbled.
Phil sighed. He put his hand on Cody's head and petted his thick, short hair. "You are important. Dibiase is blind, is all.
Cody continued to cry for a few more minutes before he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. "Why couldn't he have been gay too."
"Sometimes life doesn't work that way, Cuddles. Not every dreamy all american boy is gay. But I'm sure that If Dibiase had been gay, he would have been drooling over you long ago," Phil said with a small smile.
A pout crossed Cody's face. "Life sucks."
Phil nodded. "And then you die."
Cody's lips twitched up. That statement was oddly comforting. As morbid as it sounded. It just gave him a sense that he wasn't alone. That everyone's life sucked. But as he sat there listening to the Paramore playlist, one earbud in his ear, the other in Phil's, he couldn't help feel dejected still. He wanted Teddy to notice him. Like some cheesy Anime. He couldn't help it though.
So he decided to himself, that he would work as hard as possible and make Teddy notice him.
He was going to put on the best performance of the night at the talent show.
Jay walked right in through the Copeland house like it was his own, briefly saying hi to Adam's mom in the living room. Taking two steps at a time up to the second floor. Turn left. Second door. Adam's room. Also known as his second home.
Before he could even open the door though, he heard the guitar playing the saddest cords of Adam's Song by Blink-182.
And he knew something was up.
His brother from another mother only played songs that matched his mood, and that song was pretty sad.
What most people never knew about Adam was that he played a good act. He was always laughing and smiling to his friends. Like the world was amazing and living in it everyday was a gift from whatever God sat above. Adam was just a ball of sparkling sunshine.
Jay might be the only friend that knew different. It was the responsibility that came from being so close to Adam.
Adam was only every truly happy when he was either on his medication or not having an episode.
Adam suffered from depression. During an episode he would go weeks just down in every sense. He wouldn't want to get out of bed. He would feel blank most of those days. Either nothing phased him or made him feel worse, ashamed, angry.
When he first started showing signs a couple years ago, Mrs. Copeland had brought him to the doctors and they found medication to be the best solution. Adam's mom was also really understanding. She was pretty good at not pushing Adam or making him feel useless or lazy like some parents do.
But Adam hated those pills. He has tried several already, some worked, others had bad side effects. The ones he was prescribed now weren't as bad. But he still hated them. They made him sleepy. And they made him angry. Angry that he had to take stupid pills to control the chemicals him his brain.
Jay took a deep breathe as he opened the door and walked into Adam's room, finding him sitting in a bean bag chair in the corner of the room, Adam was gently strumming the guitar, singing softly along.
Jay listened.
When Adam was done he put the guitar down and looked out his window. "I want a bottle of Vodka."
Jay gave him a look. "No alcohol for you. You'll try to kiss Stephan again."
"One time, Jay."
"Twice, Adam."
There was silence, Adam sitting slouched in the bean bag looking at the wall blankly. He felt exhausted. He didn't want to ever move. Not even blink. Blinking took alot of energy.
Jay wrapped his arms around his best friend. "I know those pills fucking suck man. But at least when you're on them you aren't a zombie."
Adam mumbled into Jay shoulder. "I know. But they make me so pissed. I wished I didn't have to take them. I feel like a freak."
"Why?" Jay asked, rhetorically, letting go to look at Adam. "It doesn't change how I see you. You taking meds for depression doens't make you any less Adam Copeland. You just need a little kick start up there..." Jay poked his finger at Adam's forehead, "Everyone needs a little help in their lives."
Adam's lips twitched. He felt a wash of shame come over him.
Jay sighed. "You hate the meds because they make you drowsy, but you heard the doctor, that'll pass, your body has to get use to them first. But if you don't take them, man, that won't pass. ...When you take them, other than the drowsiness, don't you feel like you can think better? Don't they make you can feel?"
Adam nodded slightly, "Yeah."
"So wouldn't it be better to take your meds and be the Adam Copeland I know you are?"
Adam looked at him. he slowly nodded. Jay let out a breathe of relief.
John groaned as he took off his sneakers and work clothes. Tonight was horrible. So busy at work. He had homeowrk, but he definitly had no energy to even try doing it. So, instead he shimmied under his blankets and whisked himself into a good night's sleep. His dreams held two sweet freshmen; one tall and broody, the other short and bubbly. His sleeping mind craved their attention and their touch.
Love Natsuki Lee
A/N- I make no promises about when I'll be able to update again. I'm done with college, and I'm trying to get my life together. I just want you to know I never forgot about this story and think about it alot. In fact last summer I started fleshing out Part two of story. I just need to finish part one up. Hahaha oops.
