YO! here's warnings- Theres porn in this chapter. Some depressing thoughts. Some complicated emotions.
But you know the deal, I own nothing but the ideas. Forward, to chapter 12 of VG, bitches.
At that moment they reached Randy's house. John put the car in park and turned to Randy. They looked at each other for a second, both hearts beating fast. Not that either of them suspected that from the other.
"Randy," John spoke, softly. "Are you gay?"
Randy's eyes must have been as wide open as possible. He could feel them drying up as he looked around. His eyes were going to fall out of his head, he was sure of it. He had to control his face. His dark brows furrowed.
Fuck.
John was still looking at him, expecting some kind of answer. His sparkling blue eyes were understanding, as usual.
Randy Orton was a private person with the exception of his close friends. He rarely shared his feelings and hated showing any strong emotions. It was a weakness. Letting other people know your secrets was a weakness. It was safer to bottle it all up and then let the aggression out in some form like exercise.
But Randy had had enough of holding things in. He couldn't keep hiding how he was feeling. Because these feelings of dread, uncertainty, and heartbreak were too much to handle. What would happen to him if he kept brushing aside the intense frustration he had, only because he didn't want to look weak?
He didn't want to be weak. He didn't want to be gay. He wanted to be an all-American boy who marries the girl of his dreams, has 2.5 kids and a dog. He wanted to make his parents proud. And he wanted to be best friends with Evan for his whole life.
Yet, Randy had no doubt that if he were to open up at that very moment -he could lose everything.
He turned away from John and stared at his house outside the car window. Quickly he blinked the tears away. His heart was pounding.
His name was Randy Orton, he wanted to be "normal". But he knew deep down inside of him that he wouldn't be everything he had been taught to be.
Randy could feel his walls breaking.
"Look," John cleared his throat. "I get it. I understand completely what your feeling right now. So I know this isn't easy, no matter your answer."
Randy looked back at John, trying to keep calm and collected under the blue hued stare.
"If you're confused, do some research."
Randy quirked an eyebrow.
"Yeah. I know. It's not the easiest thing to just look up, but maybe you need to watch some porn and see what exactly you like (just stay away from the weird stuff). Since, obviously, talking to me is not helping right now."
Randy gave him an apologetic look now. John was being very relaxed during his mental meltdown. Like an anchor holding him down in the storm that was his truth.
"Take your time, Randy," John said, putting his hand on Randy's hand gently, trying not to scare him. "Just remember that you're not alone in this. I'm a call away. You have my cell."
A small nod of his head was all that Randy could manage. His mind was going crazy. He had so many thoughts racing in his head. He didn't even register that John gave his hand a soft squeeze and then let go completely.
Randy was out of John's car in a flash. Through the house door. Up the stairs. In his room, door closed. And laid in bed to his plaguing thoughts.
Despite how utterly embarrassing that was with John just now, Randy felt a little better. To know that even if this was all actually a phase, he would have someone around to talk to. John was kind of pervy but he was a really nice person too.
Practice on Saturday morning was rough. It was early and chilly. Like 45 degrees out. And Evan had so much homework to do, but he really didn't plan on doing any of that until later. So Evan decided to go for a quick ride on his bike to the park. His friends were probably all sleeping so he didn't want to bother them yet.
Plus, alone time wasn't all that bad.
Evan felt good feeling the wind on his face and he followed the bike paths. It was brisk but it kept him awake and focused. And maybe this ride was what he needed to truly think since he hadn't had the chance in so long. To self-assess.
He knew that things have changed since the start of high school. There had been the good, but mostly it had been pretty complicated and tedious. Because what was the point of an A in science if he couldn't tease his friends about it, right?
First Melina had ditched them and become some weird boy obsessed barbie doll. Then Evan had been bullied. And now he barely talked to his best friend. Or when they did talk it was pointless chatter. Which wouldn't be a problem if they could at least talk to each other more often. They only saw each other during gym (and advisory once a week). And since that was the only class Randy could ever pay attention in, they were mostly playing or exercising. No time for meaningful conversations there. And at lunch time Randy was too busy eating. Plus there were other people around so Evan didn't talk about private stuff there.
There hasn't been a sleepover in a while either. Evan frowned.
Evan hasn't even been able to talk to Randy about how bad his parents have gotten. They are always arguing. Or they're ignoring each other. When he got home from the talent show he had found his dad watching ESPN in the living room and his mom scrolling facebook on her phone in the kitchen. Completely ignoring eachother. If he hadn't said hi to them they wouldn't even have noticed he was home. It was getting fucking ridiculous.
He never thought his parents were perfect but lately they were so much worse. He wished they would just end it and divorce each other. But then Evan suspected there would be a hell of a custody battle over him and his brother.
And this whole thing would be easier to go through if he could complain to Randy about it all.
But no.
They stopped talking about the important stuff
Sinceā¦
Well since he went through that shit with Bennett.
It made Evan wonder if his friendship was suffering because of that cumtart.
If it hadn't been for all the bullying then maybe his friendship would have still been strong?
Or maybe Evan had changed so much because of what he went through that he was the reason for not being close to Randy? Perhaps Evan did something that made Randy take a step back.
Or maybe Evan had been the one to step back and he never realized it?
All these maybes were hurting his head.
But when Evan had to deal with Bennett, he hadn't confided in his best friend. He hadn't told anyone that he was being bullied, honestly. He had decided to fight the fight alone. That could have been the pushing point? He had pushed Randy away first trying to act tough and fight his own battles.
Evan stopped near a vending machine and got himself something to drink. He shoved his bike down and sat on the grass, taking a breath.
If Evan was honest with himself, he probably was the one to push Randy away.
Because he had changed as a person after his battle with Stuart Bennett. It felt like forever ago, but it had been less than 2 months. But since then Evan had become confident. He had become sure of himself. He had become mentally stronger. He didn't look in the mirror and hate what he saw anymore. He didn't feel like a freak anymore. He could see his body developing. He was getting taller and the weight training for wrestling helped him start to put on more muscle and move up a weight class. He wasn't super angsty during gym class anymore because he wasn't embarrassed to be himself. He had a strong patch of pubic hair and he was sure his voice was lower. He didn't feel like a kid anymore!
Sure, puberty had taken it's damn time with Evan, but it had finally started working. And well... maybe it had needed a push from an outside force.
Yeah, Bennett was a piece of shit who made Evan's life a living hell, but his torture helped Evan become a better person. A more mature person.
Randy had changed too, though. He was quieter. He listened more than he talked now. And before he used to talk alot with the guys. He always had some comment making fun of someone like Mike. Randy used to exude confidence. He used to compliment himself on a daily basis. He had a "the fuck do you want?" attitude that Evan would have to rein in. Randy had been overly protective of Evan for a long time, like a big brother. But recently he felt so distant.
Evan in the beginning of the year had wanted to challenge himself. Wanted to be challenged. And he thought Stu Bennett had been the challenge he had wished for. But apparently not. That challenge was his friendship.
And Evan was sure it started when he forced Randy to get tutoring. Because before that, Evan and Randy had had time to see eachother after school. But now he was wrestling and Randy was studying.
In fact, perhaps the changes started before that. Randy had loved sports all his life but the minute sign up sheets went up for football and wrestling, Randy had decided to take a break and focus on school. Was that the changing point?
Was Randy sick of the competition side of sports? Was he sick of his dad's pressure to be great? Randy was trying to hard to change, Evan mused.
But what if Evan and Randy changed so much that they would stop being friends all together? What is they just fell apart?
No.
Evan was a fighter. He might have been smaller than his friends, but he had a fighting soul. He already proved that. And Evan would fight.
He would fight for his best friend. He was not going to lose Randy Orton. He was not going to let their friendship collapse because of whatever is going on with Randy. He needed Randy. Evan needed Randy by his side no matter what. Because Randy was always there for him. He cared about him. Randy and Evan were supposed to be friends forever. Start a wrestling company together. Have epic backyard battles together. Be the guys other guys envied because of how solid they were together.
Evan didn't know how to not have Randy in his life. They had known eachother since they were little kids.
They needed to play dodgeball again, soon. Get this all out in the open and work on their problems in the best way they knew how.
Evan could not lose Randy.
Melina was really really nervous.
This was her first date. And it was with John Hennigan.
She was waiting at the small restaurant that Hennigan had told her to meet up at. He didn't have a car so he couldn't pick her up, which was best. She didn't want her dad to find out she was going on a date. He would freak out. So Melina had walked and then changed her sneakers to heels when she go there. Thank God she went with pants for this. Tight skinny pants that showed her curves, but still pants.
The restaurant was kind of dumpy. Small and poorly kept up with. But whatever. Melina wasn't the type of girl to want five star french restaurants.
Her face perked up when she saw Hennigan turn the corner. The way he was walking- hands in his pockets, a nice saunter- was super sexy. Melina felt the blush heat her face when he saw her and waved.
"Hey," He said, bending slightly to hug the freshman. "Let's go inside."
Melina nodded. She saw her reflection in the windows as they walked in. Tight pants, crop top, hair in perfect loose curls. The sun reflected off her highlight. And she was standing beside the hottest guy in school. She couldn't be happier.
Randy had slept in until 12 and then had stayed in his room all day playing video games and attempting his homework without John's help.
He couldn't face people today.
Last night had drained him. He could still feel his core shaken by John's question.
What did he expect, though? He was the one to start it by asking John about gay people. It must have made John wonder about him.
... Unless it was obvious? Was it obvious that Randy liked Evan? Did he let it show to much? Shit. Did Evan see it too? He had to stop staring at Evan when he thought no one was watching.
No way.
Randy was just being paranoid.
John probably had that gay-dar thing that he's heard about on tv.
Randy frowned to himself. But Randy was not gay dammit. He refused to believe it. Randy didn't believe it. It was awkward pubescent hormones. He was just super horny or something and was placing his urges on the only person he could emotionally connect with. Yeah. That's right. It was only Evan.
Except he was definitely checking out Hennigan's ass in the hall the other day. And he did think John Cena had been sexy on stage during the talent show last night with those nice blue eyes and those dimples he had when he smiled.
Randy groaned to himself.
Randy had always been so sure about himself but now he was so very confused. John had told him to watch porn and see what he liked or whatever, but Randy was very wary of that. He had thought about it before of course, but his mom had blocks up and he was afraid his siblings would walk in at the wrong moment. Randy couldn't deal with the thought of how embarrassing that could be. Never mind actually live through it.
"How was the talent show yesterday, sweetie?" Randy's mom asked.
Oh yeah. Randy had forgotten that he was at the dinner table with his family. He had been so in his thoughts that he forgot where he was and who he sat with.
His mom was smiling at him waiting for an answer. Randy's mom wasn't the type of person to ask things for politeness. She asked because she truly wanted to know how her son's life was going. He loved his mom so much. She was amazing. And when she was around Randy could forget his problems for a while.
"It was good," Randy started. "John and his friend Ron rapped about the football team. And my friends Jay and Adam played with thier band. But the best part of the night was my friend Cody. I knew he was a ballet dancer but I'd never seen him dance before. It was like watching something from the movies."
Mrs. Orton smiled, eyes soft. It was nice to see her son talk about something. Lately he had been so moody. He rarely talked at the table. It made her feel better to know her son could still smile about something.
"Hmph!" Mr. Orton sounded around the food he was chewing on. He had a disgusted look on his face, but Randy knew it wasn't about the food. Mom's food was always perfect. Mr. Orton swallowed his bite and looked at his son. "Ballet? Must be a fairy. Only effeminate men dance the ballet."
"Bob! Jesus Christ!" Mrs. Orton said, angry.
"Please don't say that about my friend, dad," Randy defended. "He's a nice person and you don't even know him."
"The gays are all the same. Probably wore a tutu, I'm guessing."
"Bob, enough! We are at the dinner table." Mrs. Orton was trying so hard to keep tensions down. The narrowed angry look coming from her son told her it was too late to calm the situation.
Randy stood up, having finished his food, and brought his plate to the sink. "You don't even know him! You have no clue if he's gay or not? I have no clue if he's gay or not and it makes no damn difference."
"Don't yell at me, boy," Mr. Orton said in a low voice.
"I'll stop yelling when you stop being a homophobic old timer!"
With that Randy stormed up the stairs back to his room. He made it to the room when he heard his mother tell his siblings to go do their homework. She was going to have a nice word with her husband. Mrs. Orton did not like when her dinner table was disrespected, especially after finally getting Randy to say more than 2 words. She glared at Bob with darkness and anger. "If your son never speaks to you again, you should remember why. Every time he starts to talk to us you have to insult him or his friends. Don't you have any respect for your famil-
Randy closed his door and resumed playing video games.
His father had no clue that Randy was attracted to men. His father had no clue that every hurtful word he said pierced his oldest son deeply. Mr. Orton was the reason Randy refused to figure out who he was. Because if Randy was gay, his father would hate him forever. His family would never treat him the same again. No one would ever treat him the same again.
Randy was not fucking gay. He wasn't gay until proven guilty, dammit. And so far he had no concrete proof to say if he was or wasn't. Just a few jerk off sessions to the thought of Evan's smile and Evan's body and John dimples.
Shit.
Fuck.
God fucking dammit, Randy.
Melina gave a soft moan as two rough lips mashed into hers.
They had relocated to the nearby park after dinner. Which Melina guessed was okay. Better than the awkward dinner she and Hennigan shared. Hennigan was so beautiful for a muscular, toned man. But he was horrible at holding a conversation that didn't involve football or cars. Melina had tried to talk about school and friends with him, that was a bust. Dude was just not into it. In fact once the food came, the talking was a minimum.
Melina rolled her eyes thinking that that must be the reason Hennigan didn't have a girlfriend. He had all the looks and no brains.
But that was okay! Because she wasn't looking for a scientist in the body of a boyfriend. She just wanted to be loved.
At the park they had sat down on a bench. The park was empty where they were. Since it was getting dark, people weren't at the park unless they were catching pokemon or something. So it felt private. That gave Melina some comfort. Making out in front of a bunch of people wasn't her thing. She would never make it as an exhibitionist. ...Well in a sexual way anyway.
She had made out with someone before. A boy she had dated for a week in 7th grade. But it was nothing like this.
This.
This was hot. It was rushed and desperate. Not at all weird or uncomfortable. For what John Hennigan didn't have in conversation skills he sure had in tongue -which he was twirling in her mouth right now.
Oh God.
Was she panting?
His lips felt magical.
Melina was sure she was wet.
Then her body went rigid.
She froze the minute she felt Hennigan's hand squeeze in the back of her pants, underneath her thong, and against her bare ass.
When she stopped moving her lips against his, he just moved down to her neck -nipping and licking in the cool air.
She grabbed his hand from behind her and pulled it around to her hip.
He was moving really fast. Senior boys had no qualms about going to another base on the first date. She was feeling great with kissing, but anything more scared her. She barely knew this guy.
While she was lost in her insecurities, he dipped his hand under her pants again. And she pulled away with a jerk. Her eyebrows scrunched up as he looked at his face. He looked calm if not a slight bit confused.
"What's wrong?" Hennigan whispered to her as he dipped down to nibble at her ear.
But suddenly uncomfortable she shrugged her head away. "Sorry, I just- this is going too fast for me."
Hennigan let go of her waist and sat back against the bench looking at the freshman girl. He studied her face for a second before saying, "I don't do relationships, if that's what you were expecting."
His bluntness had surprised Melina. "Uh... yeah, that's what I thought this was, a first date."
He frowned at her, pity flashed in his eyes, then he looked at the field in front of them. "I'm not the dating kind of guy. I don't want to be tied down. I just like treat ladies with a little respect and get them dinner before we fuck. I thought you knew." He looked at her, seriously
Melina almost choked on air by how flabbergasted that statement made her. No she had had no damn clue that that had been what this was. She felt a little nauseous and really sad. Not a date with a could be boyfriend. Just a fuck.
He took her hand in his and kissed it softly. "I'm sorry," he said, softly. He brushed her hair out of her face with his other hand. John Hennigan was a sex obessed senior, but he wasn't an asshole. "I really thought you knew what would happen if we hung out. I haven't been on a date with a girl who expected anything other than sex in a long time." He let go of her hand and slung his arm around her shoulder, holding her close, but not oppressively. His tone became serious. "Look, I don't force anyone to do something they don't want. And this is obviously something you don't want. You aren't ready for this and I get that. Not everyone is into having sex with no strings. So let's not sweat it."
Melina couldn't believe what she was hearing. He was being really cool about this. She just hoped his behaviour now would continue at school. She didn't want him spreading rumors. But with the look on his face, she had a feeling he wouldn't. "I'm sorry," She muttered, almost a whisper.
"For what?" He asked, earnestly. "We both had different ideas for tonight. No biggie."
He squeezed her body into him like a makeshift hug and then let go and stood. He smiled at her. "If you find yourself ready and you haven't stolen the heart of someone you love yet, I'm around. Well at least until I go to college."
She smiled at him, truly. Her eyes were watering a little. She felt pathetic and happy all at the same time. "Thanks for the offer."
"Okay, let me walk you home."
John Hennigan was a dog. He slept with anything with a vagina and legs. He was shallow. But Lord, Melina thought, he was really sweet. It was a shame he didn't want a girlfriend.
Melina still felt ugly as hell right now though. Dejected.
Cody climbed in through Phil's window. Because, you know, Cody couldn't just walk through the front door anything. It was against the law or something. Phil rolled his eyes.
"'Sup Mr. Talk of the school," Phil smirked.
"Shut up."
Cody dropped his dance practice duffel bag on the bed and sat next to Phil on the floor. He grabbed a comic off the nearest stack and started reading.
Everything was calm and relaxed. It had been some time since they had a night like this. Casually reading, no pressure, no drama. And it was because Cody was in a good mood. Having given a great performance yesterday at the talent show had made him much more relaxed. And having Teddy Dibiase notice him made him smile. A real smile.
Because for the time being, Cody would not think about how Teddy was straight and in a relationship. He would just think about how Teddy had noticed him, had complimented him. That was all Cody needed right now. And he had Phil next to him to read comics with. No stress at home. Practice had gone nicely that night. Life had reached an equilibrium. It had balanced out for the first time in a while, and Cody was in it's good graces.
A buzz came from his phone. And then another. He unlocked the screen and check who had texted him.
Adam- Hey! Come hang out with us. We're going to watch a movie!
Followed by: Bring Punkers!
Cody chuckled. He would never tell Phil that Adam had called him Punkers, but still found it amusing.
"Hey," he said to Phil, who lowered the comic to look at the other boy. "Want to go watch a movie with Jay and Adam?"
Phil gave a sarcastic eye roll. "Do I have too?" he whined. "I can still hear their screeching in my ear from the show last night. I'm not sure I can bare it anymore."
Cody smirked. His best friend was a dork. "Please?"
Without any hesitation, Phil stood up. "My gosh, Codster, if it'll get you to stop nagging me like that, than I guess I'll go."
Cody shook his head, with a broad smile. "Yay!"
As they left Phil's house -through the damn front door- the punk looked at the dancer with a careful expression. "Are you sure Adam and Jay aren't gay? They are seriously attached at the hip."
Cody thought for second, "Nah. They're like brothers most of the time. Plus I actually do think Adam has long distance girlfriend in Canada or something like that. They met when Adam went up there on vacation."
Phil shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pocket. "I'll take your word for it, but I discredit you based on your belief on that stupid long distance girlfriend thing. Who could possibly believe that?"
Cody playfully shoved his best friend. "Shut up."
He wasn't gay until proven guilty, Randy kept repeating to himself.
Just because he was in love with Evan and sexually attracted to John did not mean he was gay. Yeah. It was hormones. He just needed to get laid. He was totally straight. He found girls appealing -kind of.
God, Buddha, Weird Wiccan Gods -whoever the fuck is listening- please let me be straight. I'll be a good person, I promise. I'll help old people and the needy. I'll stop being a dick to Mike!
Oh God. He had lived in the stages of denial and anger for the passed few months. And now he was in the bargaining stage.
If he could just admit to himself that he was gay this whole situation would be so much easier. He would have come out and dated someone, gotten over Evan, and moved on with his life. Pretty sure, God or whoever up there watching over him was slamming their head against the wall. So stubborn this kid. After months of torturing himself with feelings and erections you'd think he'd just accept his fate. But alas, that's a no.
Randy had to prove to himself the truth. He had to see for himself. What sexuality was he? It was like a dumb game show.
Randy grabbed his phone. The computer had parental blocks on it, but his phone did not.
He was going to do what John had suggested. He was going to prove that he was not gay. Maybe he was bi? Maybe he was some other sexuality- what was the one where you feel sexual attraction to someone you are close to only?- that one. He could be that one, which was why he wanted to kiss Evan. Yeah. It was a weird thing. Just a weird feeling.
What was that porn site he heard about at school? Pornhub.
Was it that surprising that Randy had never seen porn before? He didn't want to get in trouble with his parents.
He typed it into the browser and saw the page loading up in slow motion. These were the longest moment of his life.
The page opened up automatically to straight sex videos. Their default setting. He clicked on the first video he thought looked good, making sure his volume was low first.
The girl in the video moved around in her skimpy clothes, biting her lip. She slowly removed her clothes. Bending and moving, arching her back, playing with her tits. Randy watched, concentrating. She was sexy. Erotic
He still wasn't hard.
She slid her hand down under her thong and ...masturbated.
Okay. Still nothing. He was curious though. This was interesting. She was attractive. She was playing with herself. Staring at the camera like she was looking at him. Then the scene cut to her sitting on the couch completely naked, legs in the air.
It was then and there that Randy remembered he had never actually seen what a vagina looked like until then.
It was- ... It was interesting. Kind of different then what he expected, but then again his only experience with this matter was what other guys talked about and health class (and boy do we know that health class teaches you nothing about sex!).
He watched as she fingered herself.
He had a little stirring in his pants from the sounds she was making. But he had expected to be rock hard by now.
And then two guys came into the video and they were naked, rock hard, and muscular. Randy had never seen a hard dick except for his own. These guys were big. The woman knelt before them and started to give them head. She looked up at the guy she had in her mouth as she sucked him off. Then the other. After a few minutes of this, she was pushed onto the couch, ass out. And despite this being attractive, Randy pressed pause.
He looked down at his crotch. A little angry if he was honest. The men in the video had attracted him more than the beautiful woman. And frankly speaking, he kind of never wanted to touch a vagina. They were cool and all -babies came from there- but they weirded him out.
Randy knew what he had to watch next.
He switched the setting to the gay videos, defeated. He skimmed the video pages for something not weird looking (as John had recommended) and found something that wasn't creepy incest. (What is wrong with people! Randy mentally noted.)
Why was there cheesy music? Randy groaned in frustration. He watched either way.
Two buff dude were making out in a bedroom. They made out for a while. Slowly removing eachother's clothes. Finally fully naked, one dropped to his knees and started sucking the other guys big hard dick like his life depended on it. Randy was starting to think all porn was set up the same way. Always making out first and then a BJ.
After some 5 minutes of that, the scene switched and one man had his dick in the other man ass, thrusting. The other man's legs were wide open, Randy could see the whole thing. The man moaned lowly, more like grunting.
Unconsciously Randy's hand moved to his shorts. He rubbed his hand over the fabric covered crotch as he mindlessly watched the video. Those grunts and moans. The visual of the hard cock go in and out. The rough kisses. The nipple sucking. Randy panted a breath when the men pulled away to switch positions.
Randy was aching. Before he even realized his hand was down his basketball shorts, gently jerking. An image of Evan's smooth upper body came to mind and Randy closed his eyes. Randy wished he was sucking on that fair skin. He wished it was Evan's hand. And somewhere deep inside, he wished John Cena was holding onto his body as it started to tense up.
Son of a bitch.
His hand pumped faster.
Randy came in his hand before the video was even done.
Evan and Mike were in the ring in Stephan's back yard. They were running through some moves, trying to get them perfect. They had always wanted to start a backyard show for the neighborhood. But Stephan's mom refused to host the neighborhood in her backyard and watch her son and his friends crash around like wild animals. One day, Evan mused, they would.
Mike put Evan in the figure-four leglock, his favorite move. "Tap out, Bourne!"
Evan shook his head wildly and did his best to crawl to the ropes. His fingers just skimmed it when Mike pulled him back to the middle of the ring. When Mike did that, Evan wiggled free, kicking Mike in the ass. Mike took a bump forward and Evan stood quickly. He ran the ropes and hopped over Mike who was starting to stand up. Finally up, Mike turned towards the other boy only to be hit with a closeline.
They stopped there. Stephan's mom had popped her head out the back door and told them to finish up. It was getting late and the neighbors would start to complain if they kept that noise up.
The two tired boys sat on the ring edge, shortly joined by Stephan. They talked about the sequence they just pulled off. It felt pretty good and Stephan said it looked clean to him.
Evan looked at his shitty flip phone for the time. Not as late as he thought. He still had time before he had to start heading home.
"Didn't Randy say he was coming over?" Stephan asked.
"That's what he said yesterday when we talked about this," Evan replied. "If he's not here by now he's probably helping his mom around the house or he's grounded again for some reason."
Mike shook his head. "He gets grounded more than anyone else I know, and I have alot of friends."
"Don't overcompensate, Mikey," Stephan said with a smirk. "You had one friend before we came into your life and that was your mother."
Evan laid back, legs draped over the side of the ring. He looked up at the stars. This felt good, hanging out with the guys. They don't do this enough lately.
Mike swung a fist at Stephan, who dodged with a deep laugh. "Really? Do you have to bring my mother into to this?"
"You're the one who started talking about your friends, fella," Stephan joked.
Evan snickered as the other two continued to argue with eachother. It only stopped when Stephan took a sip of the bottle of water he had at the ring corner. He then tossed it to Mike who also took a sip.
The conversation veered off to school and classes. Mike apparently had an English project due Wednesday. That always sucked being the day before a long weekend. But Evan mused it was always better than after vacation.
The smaller freshman grabbed his phone again, this time texting his best friend.
To Randy: Hey. What happened? Thought you were coming?
Evan would never know this, but on the other side that phone, Randy had just in fact cum on all over his hand. He took a few minutes to compose himself, having to wipe his right hand on his already soiled shorts. Oh his mom was going to have alot of embarrassing questions. Finally, with his breathing settled, Randy replied, making some excuse about ending up busy with research. Which wasn't entirely false.
Evan frowned but sent a text asking Randy how research was going, but Randy did not text back. Evan should have known then that something about Randy was off, because Randy always replied right away unless he was sleeping or in school.
"Hey guys," Evan interrupted the other two boys from whatever mindless blabber was going on (Mike was making fun of soccer again). "Have you guys noticed anything off about Randy?"
Mike gave him a look. "You mean more than usual? Dude is not super normal in the first place. I mean, he always compliments himself and makes fun of me."
"Mikey, everyone makes fun of you, buddy," Stephan rolled his eyes.
"Shut up, asshole," Mike retorted. "I'm just saying, Ev, Randy has always been a little off. But if you mean more than usual, then I guess so."
Evan took a deep breath. He looked at Stephan, but the pale Irish teen stayed quiet, face blank, idly looking at his house as if it was the most interesting thing at the moment.
Mike continued, "He hasn't been around as much, which I guess I understand. We've all been busy. But when he is around it's like he's not around. He's always in his own head. And he always looks so pissed off. I'm afraid he's gonna punch me one day or something."
"That could happen no matter how he's feeling," Evan joked, but he was concerned. So it wasn't only him who noticed a difference in Randy.
Finally, Stephan cleared his throat and spoke up. "We've all changed a little recently. That's life, yeah? Randy probably has alot on his mind. When he's ready, he'll be back to the jackass we all know and love."
It was past midnight now, but Randy was wide awake, looking up at the ceiling of his room. He just stared at the white surface.
His pouty bottom lip was being gnawed at as he thought. His hands were laced over his bare chest and his head hurt a little.
He was angry with himself at first. He couldn't comprehend how he had come to be this way. He didn't want to be this. He didn't want to attract the scorn and hatred of bible thumpers and close-minded assholes. He didn't want to be the black sheep of his family, despite being that already.
He wondered if he had played more sports if this would have not been the outcome. Or, Randy sighed, it would have been the same stupid result, except alot more awkward boners.
What would his mother say when he told her? Would she still love her first born child as much as she did now?
He knew what his father's reaction would be, but he worried about that too.
For a while as he stared into space, Randy hated himself. He hated everything. He hated his heart for beating faster for one sex and not the other. He hated his brain for sending the signals to his body that it did. He hated his eyes for looking. He hated his breath for hitching. Overall, he hated how he was bound to ruin every support system he had ever allowed himself to make Because surely they would all feel uncomfortable around him when they found out.
Evan's grinning face came to mind and he imagined it turning disgusted. He saw in his mind's eye the image of his true best friend backing away from him. This was not foreshadowing (a word he had learned in English class last month). No. This was the predicted future for Randy Orton.
He had betrayed their friendship by allowing himself to feel this way, Randy thought. Evan would truly hate him.
Because he was...
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes tight as tears stung his icy blue eyes.
He was definitely gay. And it was time to stop denying it, because he couldn't do it anymore.
He had been found guilty in the court of Randy Orton to being sexually and romantically attracted to only men. He would never change. And he would accept his life sentence with new found understanding and acceptance.
Acceptance, was the final stage of grief. Now he could move on with his life, with or without his friends or family.
Ohhhhh boy. SO! I know these last chapters haven't been as comical as the others, but that's because of how serious the boys lives are right now. I hope that's okay. Next chapter will have more drama and some sexiness. And don't worry I won't be play-by-playing porn videos ever again.
Review please. It makes me happy and creative! I need reviews to live. Like and fanfic tinkerbell.
Love Natsuki Lee
